Just found out that the good people at tenben.com reviewed Match, Cinder & Spark, Volume II: MORE!
They said, “Lo is the sort of woman that always gets what she wants.”
“What will probably sell this book from a particular standpoint is that it is chock FULL of photos of the pair serving as story illustrations. There’s a lot of care being put into this.”
“Match, Cinder & Spark Volume II: More! by H.H. is an earnest expression of a couple’s sexual energy…and that energy contains the white hot passion of one thousand suns. Each individual story along with its accompanying pictures is equal parts fun and sexy, but to attempt to mentally splice the smut with the real life antics of this power couple would be a fool’s errand. If you and/or your partner have a wild sexual side you’d like to explore on paper, to explore your wildest fantasies in the comfort of your own bedroom, you’d be doing yourself a favor by starting with this dynamic duo.”
Finally a moment to relax. Some time to myself. A quiet interval to read for enjoyment before sweet sleep. I was deep into the Bukowski’s Notes of a Dirty Old Man, appropriately enough. As I tried to enjoy one of the short stories about a dissolute life, Lo lay next to me, naked, her legs spread, diddling her bean, clearly looking for attention. She spread her legs wider, putting her left leg up and over my legs. She inserted her finger and moaned. No response from me. She spread her legs even further until her left knee hit the cover of my book, knocking it out of my hands. She dipped all five fingers into her gaping pleasure patch.
Lo’s Bed Spread
“Hey,” I said, “watch it!”
“Clearly you’re not interested in watching,” she retorted.
“Is there something I can do for you?”
“Probably not,” she replied, cursorily, as she continued to fap with her five fingers.
“Then may I read in peace?”
“Why do you want to read now?” she asked.
“Well,” I said with some snark, “right now, I feel like it gives me a leg up, if you know what I mean.”
She raised her leg even further, across my chest.
“Watch out, dear,” I said, “you’re spreading yourself a bit thin there.”
“Thin?! Thin?! I’m a proudly thick woman,” she said.
“Look,” I said, “if you want me, then just use your words and ask for me to fuck you.”
“I shouldn’t need my words,” she said as she pulled out her fingers from her puss, “I’m using sign language.”
“And I’m using my ability to read lips.”
“See, we don’t even need words,” she said, “we can communicate perfectly well with body language.”
I got on my knees, pulled down my boxers, pulled out my hard cock and asked, “What does this body language express to you?”
Reading Notes of a Dirty Old Man
“Everything I want to know,” she said, “now dip your pen in my wet well and write your poetry all over me, you dirty old man.”
July 1st is the release date for Volume IV of “Match, Cinder & Spark.” It’s called “Sexy Shorts” and it contains 40 quick, sexy, funny stories about Lola Down and her sexcapades. It also has 30 stunning images by top artists and graphic designers, including a great cover by Ismolius!
If you reblog this post on your blog, I’ll send you a free copy. Just send me the link: downloladown@gmail.com or comment below with the link.
“Lo,
what ya doin’?” I asked as I came in the house and found her on the couch,
naked, scrolling through her phone. This
wouldn’t be unusual, of course, except for the fact that she was not
masturbating at the time. Just getting
ready? Just finished? I wasn’t sure.
Lo on her Phone
“I
tallied it up and I have over 20,000 followers on our various platforms,” she
said without bothering to look up at me.
“Really? 20,000?
That’s a lot of horny men,” I said.
“And
women,” she added. “And don’t forget your
fans.”
Jen X
Madelaine
Piper
She was kind to include my fans, even if she said it with a bit of scorn. Lately, I’ve had quite a resurgence of interest. A number of women have been writing to me telling me how much they enjoy my stories. There has been Madelaine, Jen, Piper, Dawn, TJ, Tracy, and Liz. Of course these are not exclusive categories. Most of the fans of my writing are also fans of Lo. But in Lo’s mind, she refers to them as “your fans.” Flattering me? Or jealousy?
In
any case, I digress.
“I
think that makes you a micro-influencer,” I said.
“What
do you mean ‘micro’?”
“I’m
just using the terminology that. . .”
“Let
me see your cock,” she said, interrupting.
H.H.
I
walked in front of her on the couch and undid my pants and grabbed my member
from my underwear, pulling it out. “Nothing
micro there,” she said.
“I
just meant that you have reached that echelon.”
“But
we don’t sell anything,” she objected.
“I’ve
received a lot of offers from companies to write posts just for them, or
include their products embedded in our stories.”
“Really?” She was curious. “What sort of companies.”
“Sex
toy companies, mostly.”
“Would
they pay us for it?”
“Well,
they said that they would send us free dildos and vibes and stuff.”
“You
can’t pay the rent with sex toys.”
Rent?
“If
we only could,” I mused.
“It’s
fine,” she said, “I like our independence.
I prefer to be a social media sinfluencer.”
I
was 44. She was 18. I was her professor. She was my undoing. She was a flirt. I was a letch. She was smart and sassy. I was pompous and sardonic. She loved to tease me with her sex
appeal. I loved being teased, but felt
like she brought me to my knees and knew it.
She was unrelenting. I was
unrepentant. She was the young spark
that reignited the flame hidden deep beneath my gray ashes. It was a match made in hell and I yearned for
the tongues of fire licking my loins. I
had been in purgatory for so long that it was either commit to my sins or admit
that I had copped out on life. I chose
to sin bravely. But not just yet.
Lola Reading her Fan Mail
It
would be another six years before my defenses melted. Six years of excruciating distance and
proximity that would prove both a delight and debilitating distraction. She would write me suggestive, alluring, and blithely
innocent emails. I would respond with
allusions and innuendo.
Back when
she was still my student, I was teaching Emily Dickinson and she wrote her final
essay on the poem, “The Angle of a Landscape.”
The poem reads:
The Angle of a Landscape—
That every time I wake—
Between my Curtain and the Wall
Upon an ample Crack—
Like a Venetian—waiting—
Accosts my open eye—
Is just a Bough of Apples—
Held slanting, in the Sky—
The Pattern of a Chimney—
The Forehead of a Hill—
Sometimes—a Vane’s Forefinger—
But that’s—Occasional—
The Seasons—shift—my Picture—
Upon my Emerald Bough,
I wake—to find no—Emeralds—
Then—Diamonds – which the Snow
From Polar Caskets—fetched me—
The Chimney—and the Hill—
And just the Steeple’s finger—
These—never stir at all—
Her entire essay focused on the
latent sexual content of the work. Her
exegesis was explicit. It read like
wordporn. The “ample crack” was
Dickinson’s pussy lusting for the “Vane’s Forefinger,” or the “Steeple’s
finger.” The Bough of Apples recalled
Eve’s biting into the apple, the first sin that aroused sexual desire. The chimney. . . well, you get the idea.
When
I asked to speak with Ms. Down about it, she said very directly, “If Emily
Dickinson had just gotten some action, the world would be bereft of some
beautiful poetry, but she may have been much happier for it.”
“Are
we speaking of Emily Dickinson, or were you, perhaps, projecting?” I suggested
heavy-handed.
“I
don’t need to write to achieve sexual satisfaction.”
“There
you and I differ,” I said under my breath, adding, “It seems to me that this
essay may have fulfilled a certain need of yours.” I was referring to her need to be noticed by
me sexually.
“Yeah,
getting an ‘A’ for the course,” she said bluntly. “It’s good and you know it. Freudian, Structuralist, with a dash of de
Beauvoir. Did you request I come to your
office in order to tell me how good it is, or to inquire about my sexual
proclivities?”
I
changed the subject, pointing out to her a typo. “Ms. Down, you misspelled the poet’s name.”
“No
I didn’t,” she said belligerently. “I
added a ‘g’ to it. It’s called poetic
license. This essay is a ‘Dick In
Song.’”
I
blushed.
On
yet another occasion, I had distributed a questionnaire to the class – a survey
that the administration had created and instructed us professors to have our
students answer. When I collected them
all at the end, I noticed something different on only one of the anonymously
written responses. The first three
questions read: Age, Sex, Location. One
of the students – and I could easily guess who – wrote: old enough, never
enough, I’ll fuck anywhere.
After
she graduated, we would occasionally meet and she instinctually knew all my
weaknesses and vulnerabilities. She exploited
them like a master chess player prolonging the ultimate denouement.
Once
we met for a walk along the shore. She
wore cutoff denim shorts, a button-down red and white gingham blouse that she
tied up like a bikini top and had her dark hair in pig-tails. She was, without doubt, the spitting image of
Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island. This
was too coordinated to be coincidence.
It was not Halloween.
I
remarked about the striking similarity and she said, “I like Mary Ann much more
than Ginger, don’t you?”
“Doesn’t
everybody?” I asked rhetorically.
“I
mean, she’s more of a secret slut and that’s what makes her so appealing,” she
added as if musing to herself.
“I
can’t disagree with you there.”
“But
I was always attracted to the Professor,” she said, biting her lip while just
thinking about him. “I’d love to
see him without that straight-laced Oxford blue shirt and khakis.”
It
just so happened that I was wearing a similar shirt and khakis. What two stereotypes we made!
“You’ve
thought about this a lot,” I remarked.
“I’m
irrationally attracted to intelligence. I’m
a deviant in disguise,” she said, “just like Mary Ann.”
“I bet you
are.” Little did I know then just how
deviant.
Another time
she invited me over to see her new apartment.
She was sharing a house with six people, all recently graduated from
college. Her “bedroom,” if you can call
it that, was meant to be a study or, perhaps a walk-in closet for the wealthy
person who built the old Victorian home.
As a result, it had no closet and it was the room through which the rest
of the house had to traverse in order to get to the wrap-around porch.
I
walked into her room with great trepidation and I saw strewn around the
closetless space her panties, bras, and dildos of various sizes on some
bookshelves, next to which were some of the classics of literature and a true
classic Underwood typewriter.
“Ms.
Down, you fancy yourself a writer?” I asked looking at the magnificent
machine.
“Oh
no,” she said, displaying some rare humility.
“I just like old things. A bit of
nostalgia.”
Quick
to correct, I said, “You can’t have nostalgia for an era in which you did not
live.”
“I
have an old soul,” she said, followed by, “encased in a young body.”
“Our
bodies are insufficient containers of our desires,” I said, quoting something I
read once, “but yours seems to contain all my desires.” Did I say that, or just think it?! I wasn’t sure anymore. I grumbled and made a banal comment. “You must get absolutely no privacy in
here!”
“It’s
true,” she said, “people walk through here all the time to get to the
porch. Luckily, I’m a bit of an
exhibitionist, so I don’t mind, especially when I’m having sex with my
boyfriend or someone else or sex just with myself.”
I
pretended not to hear her comment.
We
walked onto the deck and I just wanted to hold her tightly in my arms, but
instead I blurted out, “It’s big. Really
big, and wide!”
“Yeah,
I always liked a big deck,” she said, looking to see if I heard what she
thought I’d hear.
“Yes,
er, well,” I stumbled and took a seat overlooking the street below.
I
can only surmise that she found my awkward mix of desire and discomfort to be
adorable. Why the hell else would she
pursue me for so long?
She
sat across from me. Not for the first
time that day, I noticed her sexy strappy heels, her short skirt, and the
smooth lines and curves from her ankles to her thighs. But now, as I sat across from her, I had a
much better view of these nether parts.
I tried to focus my attention on her pretty smile and seductive eyes,
but perhaps out of embarrassment and feeling like she was penetrating my dirty
thoughts, my gaze continually fell to her legs, feet, and toes.
“Oh,
wait!” she suddenly exclaimed, startling me out of my salacious dreaming about
those parts of her I was soaking in with my eyes. She suddenly got up and dashed into her
room. She dove on her bed and was going
through a pile books next to it. In that
position I could easily see right up her skirt as she searched her stack. “Got it!” she said as she returned
triumphant.
It
was the book I had published years ago on art.
“What,
Ms. Down, are you doing with that?”
“I
was hoping you’d sign it,” she said, knowing exactly how to unlock my heart,
through feeding my ego.
She
was sitting on the edge of her seat, oblivious to the fact that her skirt was
now riding up by her hips.
“Do
you have a pen?” I asked.
“Oh,
right,” she said, as she got up again to rummage through the clutter on her
small desk.
She
returned and gave it to me. “What would
you like me to say?” I asked.
“You’re
the man of letters. Say something sweet.
. . and smart. . . and sexy,” she said as her tongue ran across her sparkly
white teeth.
I
wrote: “Dear Ms. Down, This book is all about beauty, but as Emerson observed,
no museum replica can compare to the sweet, smart, and sexy wit, charm, and
loveliness of an evening with you in the flesh.”
I
signed it and returned it to her to read.
She
batted her eyelashes and looked up at me.
I swear I saw stars in her eyes as she looked upon me adoringly. “Do you really think so?” she asked.
“That
no museum piece compares to you?
Yes. I do.”
“I’ve
always wanted to model naked for an artist, but. . .”
“In
my humble opinion as an expert on art and beauty,” I said pompously, “any
drawing or painting of you would be merely one dimensional because there is no
way an artist could capture the sparkle of your personality.”
“Do
you think you could capture me?”
“Um,
you mean. . .”
“In
words.”
“As
in a novel?”
“Yeah,
something like that.”
“I
think that the only way to come close would be to have words accompanying the
images. But it would take a very
talented writer to do that.”
“I
think you’re talented enough to come close,” she said very suggestively.
“I
would like to try. . . someday,” I responded.
She was mere inches away from me.
She had indeed come very close to me.
I could almost feel her breathy words as she spoke. “But I am an academic,” I added, “not a
novelist. I doubt that I would be able
to do you justice.”
“You
never know,” she said, “I might just inspire you to do me. . . justice.”
Just
at that moment about four or five people came bursting out through the door of
her bedroom onto the porch, carrying beer and a bottle of booze and a
joint. Lo and I immediately pulled away
from the intimate position we were in and the spell was broken.
Later
that night, when I was back at home, I received a text from Lo. It read, “I heard once that sex is energy
between people. What do you think?”
I
said, “Before tonight, I would have laughed at that as New Age crap. But now I know what they’re talking
about. Was it good for you?”
“What?”
she wrote back.
“Never
mind.” I felt embarrassed. Was she playing me for a fool? Was this her way of flirting? Did she want me to be more explicit? I don’t know, but I let it drop, though I
played and replayed in my mind the “sex scene” we had shared many times since
that night.
I was a little rusty. It had been a while since I was in the
classroom in front of a packed lecture hall of undergrads. To compound matters, I wasn’t even lecturing
on my specialty, art, but on literature.
You see, a friend and colleague of mine had taken ill and needed someone
to fill the gap as a long-term substitute for the second half of the
semester. The course was
“Post-Modernism.” I had jumped in just
as the syllabus was up to Donald Barthelme’s The Dead Father. Looking out
across the room full of bright, enthusiastic, eager, young faces, I was feeling like the dead father myself. Were colleges admitting younger students, or
was I just growing old? I know what Lo
would say.
The lecture hall was designed much
like a movie theater, with the students’ seats at an incline, rising about ten
feet from the lectern to the last row.
And it just so happened that in the third row was a very sexy and
seductive brunette seated directly in front of me, her knees level with my
eyes.
I must have tickled her fancy
because on the third day of classes she strutted in wearing high heels, a short
skirt, and a crop-top that prominently displayed her navel. As I was pontificating about the post-modern
condition, she was crossing and re-crossing her legs, allowing ample time for
me to see that she was clearly not wearing panties. I was even able to discern the dainty little
‘V’ shape of her carefully groomed pubic hair.
Trying my best to not stare, since a
hundred other eyes were on me as I looked out and up into those vessels waiting
to be filled from my fount of wisdom, I read from the text:
Class Pet
They stand before
the hole in the ground.
No
fleece? Asked the Dead Father.
Thomas
looked at Julie
She
has it?
Julie
lifted her skirt.
Quite
golden, said the Dead Father. Quite
ample. That’s it?
All
there is, Julie said.
Unfortunately. But this
much. This where life lives. A pretty problem. As mine as yours. I’m sorry.
Quite
golden, said the Dead Father. Quite
ample.
He
moved to touch it.
No,
said Thomas.
No,
said Julie.
I’m
not even to touch it?
No.
After
all this long and arduous and if I may say so rather ill-managed journey? Not to touch it? What am I to do?
Fan petting her Golden Fleece to Lo’s images
A suggestive passage, indeed. But what was I to do? The page had been earmarked by the professor
in whose stead I stood and the passage highlighted. After reading aloud, it dawned on me that
perhaps this was indicated for his personal pleasure and not for me to discuss in class.
Too late. The cat was out of the
bag now. Or the puss, as the case may
be.
My little class flirt raised her
hand. “Why is Julie’s pubic hair
depicted as blonde?” she asked, unabashed.
Perhaps even a little sadistically, as her question was intended to make
me squirm publicly.
“Excellent question!” I said like a
fool. “Maybe because the entire text is
harkening to Greek mythology, and the Golden Fleece is, well, golden?”
Unsatisfied, she followed with, “But
isn’t this just perpetuating the myth of white elitism?”
“It could be read that way, or it
could be read as a commentary or critique of those very origin stories that
propounded the European and, by extension, white supremacist beliefs.” I thought the answer not bad for an
extemporaneous analysis.
“And the centrality of the father,”
she said, “isn’t that really patriarchal?”
“You could view it that way, except
for the fact that the children are taking him to be buried. They are attempting to bury the patriarchy,
you might say.”
As I answered, she spread her legs,
very wide this time, and her right hand moved with grace and effortless flow,
down to her crotch and ever-so-briefly pet her labia, causing them to
spread. I knew where I wanted to bury my
patriarchy.
When the class was finally over, as
the students were filing out of the lecture hall, I called the precocious
student over to my lectern.
“Ms. uh. . .”
“Down,” she said, “Lola Down.”
“Ms. Down,” I said, looking into her
brown eyes. “I am sorry that you found
this week’s text so objectionable.”
“I didn’t find it objectionable,”
she said, batting her eyelashes at me.
“I just don’t understand men’s idealizing and obsessing over blonde
pussy.”
I was shocked, shocked! at her
forthrightness.
“Well, er, yes, um, I completely
understand,” I muttered, unable to compose myself.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she said, “I
like blonde pussy as much as the next girl, but it’s like ice cream. Why only taste vanilla when there’s also
chocolate and strawberry?”
“Well put,” I said like an
idiot. “I look forward to seeing you
next class.”
“I look forward to being seen,” she
said, knowing exactly what I meant.
“And,” I added, “I hope you won’t be
too offended by our assigned reading next week.”
“Lolita?”
she asked, displaying that she was well aware of what was on the syllabus,
“Don’t worry, I read it so many times in middle school that the pages fell
out. It’s my favorite!”
What
does it mean to be an “underground” author in the age of the internet?
Lately
I’ve been reading a lot of and about Charles Bukowski. Largely ignored for most of his life, he
submitted his rough, distinctly “low-brow” poetry to independent and small
press journals. Through these he gained an
“underground” following that slowly grew by word of mouth until other independent
and small press publishing houses printed his works in book form for that
“underground” fan base. Bukowski’s work
caught the eye of other writers and musicians, mostly in the L.A. and San
Francisco areas, until eventually he caught on nationally and even
internationally.
But
in today’s media world, what does it mean to be an “indie” author or to have an
“underground” following?
fan pic
This indie author, whom you are now
reading, dear valued patron, has a substantial following, or, shall I say, a
much larger following than I ever imagined would sprout from my initial blog
posts about Lola. As I have explained in
various interviews elsewhere, this compulsion, which borders on graphomania,
came into being because, after a few months with Lo, I discovered that there
was almost no literature out there about being in a relationship with a
nymphomaniac. Since no one else was
writing about it, I figured I’d toss my hat in the ring and give a first-person
account of what it’s like – the proverbial trials and tribulations as well as
the orgasms and titillations.
Before
I knew it, I was suddenly gaining a following and garnering the praise and
accolades of other fellow sex-bloggers.
Women were sending me fan mail and nudes of themselves, much to the
consternation of Lo. Men and women were
writing to Lo and sending her all sorts of salacious selfies, much to her lurid
enthusiasm.
The Beautiful Faye Daniels getting off to Lola Down
Our
subscriptions and unique visits to our blog went up and soon we were being
featured on sites like Bustle and Top Sex Blogger lists.
I
compiled various stories into books and those sold swiftly. And now, today, we have over 20,000 followers
on our various media outlets.
However
much those numbers might dwarf the reach and following of a Bukowski back in
the day, with the potential of today’s technology, that seems far less
impressive than it would have been when the only way to get your writing in
front of a reader was through the mimeograph machine.
Are
you, dear confessional confidant, part of an underground audience? Does it even make sense to speak of such in
today’s complex and multilevel media ecosystem?
Or is “underground” just a term that is used retrospectively to describe a core following of people that read a
certain author before he or she hit the mainstream? Is it something that can only be applied with
hindsight?
I
don’t know the answers to these questions and I suppose, on some level, it
doesn’t matter since I write about what I love and I love what I write about –
Lo. As long as the love is good, I feel
the writing will be good as well. And
though the letters and gifts from the readers are flattering and the money
(what little there is) earned from the writing is appreciated, what matters
most is that I really enjoy doing what I’m doing.
“Our vices always lie in the direction of our virtues.” – Thoreau, A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers
It
was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and Lo and I were about to go for a brisk
walk through the neighborhood when, as we exited the front door, we found a
package addressed to Lo.
“Were
you expecting a special delivery?” I asked.
“Not
that I recall,” she said.
She
picked up the brown box and we brought it inside, unwrapped it, and we found
two beautiful paintings of Lo somehow done on thick panes of glass. One was of her puss.
On seeing the
striking resemblance up close, Lo remarked, “The illustration really captures
my essence.”
Painting by Blackbook Artist
By now, it’s no secret that Lo has a
lot of admirers, both in person and virtually.
Her fans love to send her gifts and those gifts range from the common,
run-of-the-mill dick pic to beautiful original paintings and artworks that
arrive by mail at our doorstep. I have
no issues with any of her accolades. I
am more than satisfied to bask in the glory of her brilliance, like the moon illuminated
by the sun. I will also admit that many
of those admirers pay at least lip service to the writing. And, given that Lo’s lip service is something
I get on a regular basis, I have no reason to complain. But it is nice, every once in a while, when
an enthusiastic and attractive woman writes to me to express her appreciation for all the hard work I do.
This has happened on a few occasions
and, despite the disproportionate attention that Lo gets compared with yours
truly, it never ceases to amaze me that she still gets jealous.
Recently, I received an email from
an admiring female fan that read: “Hi there, HH, I recently came by your blog
through another site.” Interesting turn
of phrase – “came by your blog,”
rather than “came across your blog.” Do
you think she was intentionally ambiguous?
And our fans always say, “through another site,” but never say through
which site – perhaps embarrassed by the seedy sites and searches they use. I digress.
The letter continued, “Someone in my network was going crazy about how
they’re jacking off to LOLA and your stories about 50 times a day and how she’s
probably the most intense woman alive in our times. Of course, when I checked your website out, I was
blown away after reading the explicit as well as brilliantly written episodes.”
My darling correspondent was kind enough to purchase
our books and also take some photos with them and send some sexy pics to
me. I hardly have to add that Lo was
flattered by the letter as well (which is probably the only reason why it
slipped passed her watchful eye and was brought to my attention by her).
I will say, dear reader, that
missives such as this have dwindled in number since we began this little
sexcapade of a blog. I attribute this
diminished return to the rapid advances in technology. Not only can one watch porn on their phones,
but other porn progress, such as 3D porn and realistic porn video games, have
made the market for pure erotic writing with occasional still photographs a
quaint relic of our pornographic past, like Playboy Magazine and the pin-up
calendar.
Fan Submission
The digital age has afforded great benefits to authors
such as myself – a vast, almost instant platform to reach across the world, the
ability to communicate directly with one’s readers, and a streamlined mechanism
for typing. (Recall that Jack Kerouac
had to feed industrial spools of paper into his typewriter while he drank his
whiskey in order to not interrupt his flow by having to replace the sheets of
paper.) For all those boons, it’s hard
to compete in the age of digital diversion.
The smartphone has all the bells and whistles. All I have is my story. And yet, every time I go see some block-buster
action film in which the stunts and special effects are on steroids, I often
leave feeling let down. Sure, the visual
CGI was on a galactic scale, but the story!
The story! Without a good story,
all of the other stuff falls flat. It’s
like a cake composed entirely of icing, or a tricked-out car with no
engine.
Fan Pic
I digress again.
Maybe I should stick to my story.
I was telling you about my lovely letter from a fan. Though I write out of sheer delight, on
occasion (many occasions actually), it feels as if it is an obsessive
compulsion. But when I receive a
compliment from a reader, it seems to justify the excess.
“See that, Lo,” I said, “Maybe
it’s not just the scribblings of a madman.”
“Oh,
darling,” she said, “They’re lucky that you have something good, worthy, and
important to contribute, unlike most of the drivel that people write.”
I love a careful reader!
“You just
think that because I write about you.”
You see, dear reader, it is difficult to get an objective
opinion from Lo. But she is self-aware,
to a degree. Once, when I returned from
a business trip to New York City and was telling her of the nude women at Times
Square trying to turn a buck by selling a selfie with them, she said, “You’re just telling
me this to get in my pants.” She knows
that I know that her reaction to jealousy is to seduce me.
“How
did this become about you and sex?” I asked.
“Everything
is about me and sex. I’m a
nymphomaniacal megalomaniac.”
She
then undressed and reclined on the sofa.
I just looked at her.
“What are you doing?”
she asked, impatiently.
“I’m an author of erotica and a philosopher – I’m contemplating your navel.”
After
reading the letter from my admirer, I suppose I was grinning from
ear-to-ear. My delight triggered Lo’s
jealousy and I warned her that I would expose her bad side if she kept it
up.
“Bad
side?”
“Yes,” I said, “Everyone has a bad side.”
Lola turned around and showed me her ass and pussy
from behind and asked over her shoulder, “Is this my good side or my bad side?”
After reading this blog entry to Lo, she said to me,
“You know, we should have another tagline.
Instead of “The nymphomaniac next door,” we should say,
“Mysexlifewithlola – come for the pics, stay for the story.”
“That’s good,” I said.
“Or maybe,” she mused out loud, “Cum to the pics, stay
for the story.”
“Or,” I said, “you could cum for the camera, they stay
for the story.”
“No,” she said, “I like mine better.”
“You always do,” I responded.
She then fiddled out of her bra and cuddled up to me,
her nipples hard and erect under her blouse.
“Don’t you like mine better, Daddy?” she asked.
“I do think you persuaded me.”
“You never
can argue with me when I wear this. I
must have a couple of great points.”
Yes, you do make a couple of good points, I must admit.
To which I said, “I’ve got it! The tag should be: Lola Down – clever
lines, sexy curves.”
“You are beautiful.
Your eyes are beautiful. Your
mouth is beautiful. Your breasts are
beautiful. Your cunt is beautiful.”
Lola Down, spread wide
I was reading a message Lo received on her phone from
an admirer of the blog.
“A regular Shakespeare, that one,” I said.
“I think it’s sweet,” she responded, as her left hand
began to fondle her pussy lips under the covers.
“Sweet?! He
left out your hair, your nose, your neck, your shoulders, your tum, your ass,
your legs, your feet, and your toes!”
“I’m sure he was going to get there,” she said
matter-of-factly.
“Can I get there?” I asked, sounding a bit desperate
for affection, or her attention.
“Get where?” she asked, playing with me.
“Anywhere.
Between your legs, ideally.”
“Let’s see where this goes,” she said about her
internet friend, unfortunately, and not about my bid for her caress.
“I know where this
goes,” I said, putting her hand on my hard rod.
I was hard because her internet friend had sent a slew of photos of
himself jacking off to her pics and cumming all over them. She looked good in the sexy photos.
“Daddy,” she said, protesting, “I’m busy trying to
please my loyal fans.”
“I don’t mind, as long as you do it while spreading
your legs.”
“I’m spreading the love.”
“Can you spread the love wide enough for me to get in
on it?”
“Your pussy looks pretty and gorgeous,” wrote another
fan.
“It is pretty, gorgeous, wet and waiting to be
filled,” she wrote back.
“Me, me!” I said, “Pick me.”
“Calm down, Daddio,” she said, full of vanity fed by
her fans’ flattery.
“Tell me more about you,” wrote another internet
correspondent.
“Read the books,” typed Lo, “There’s
too much to tell and too many people to tell it to.”
“You’re hard, girl,” responded the inquirer.
“Funny, everyone tells me I’m easy,” quipped Lo, “and
that makes them hard.”
“I love your stories,” wrote one female fan.
“H.H. writes. I
inspire,” wrote Lo to her.
“Do you inspire with your body?”
“And my wit.”
“I’m inspired right now!” I said to Lo as I grabbed my
cock firmly. “They all are cumming to
you. Can I cum to you?”
“Cum to, on, in, with, over, under, around, beside – I
provide the pussy. You pick the
preposition,” she said, dismissively.
I got up on my knees and stood over her, jacking my
cock.
“Just don’t cum on my phone,” she said as she
continued to scroll through her contacts.
She continued to fondle herself beneath me for a while
before she said, “Daddio, lie down next to me.
I’ll help you.”
I lay down and she grabbed me by my shaft. “I’m your righthand man,” I said as she jacked
me off with her right and scrolled with her left.
“My wife is nothing like you,” wrote one desperate,
sad husband.
“You two should
read our blog together. It would open up
her mind. . . and pussy.”
“I could never
suggest it,” he wrote, “she’d freak!”
“But you like it?”
asked Lo.
“God yes,” he
sighed through the medium of type.
“Tell me what a young, sexy, slutty person such as
myself does for you.”
“I’d love to eat your yummy, sloppy, used, cum-filled
holes,” he wrote.
“Another bard!” I opined sarcastically.
“Shut up and cum,” commanded Lo as she tugged more
aggressively.
“Are you in a rush?” I asked.
“Both hands are full,” she said, “leaving nothing for
my snatch.”
“I’ll happily fill that gap.”
“You stay right where you are,” she ordered.
“Has she ever caught you jacking off?” wrote Lo to her
married man.
“No. It would
be a big deal if she did. It would be an
even bigger deal if she caught me jacking off to you and not to porn.”
“I am porn,” protested Lo.
“I mean, it’s one thing to get off to anonymous,
vacuous, impersonal, professionally produced porn and it’s quite another thing
to get off to you.”
“That’s more like it,” responded Lo.
“That’s it, I’m getting up and out of bed,” I said.
“But nooooo.”
“Yes. You’re
just treating my cock like it a joystick to your favorite video game.”
“A game I always win.”
She continued stroking.
“Are you into length or girth?” asked her internet
interloper.
“I’m into cock.
And cock gets into me.”
“Once again, I must protest!” I said. “You’ve got a very capable, compatible, and
coveted cock right here, but you’re not letting it into you!”
“What, ole man, my right hand isn’t enough for you?”
“Not when you’re teasing those guys about how fast and
loose you like to play.”
A new fan chimed in, “I
have to stop sinning. I’m religious,
that’s why I can’t go on doing this.”
“Sex is
spiritual. And I’m a sex goddess. Worship at my alter,” replied Lo.
“Now you’re
offering theology lessons?” I chided.
“No. Just encouraging them to be good
semenarians.”
“That was
terrible. Low hanging fruit,” I replied.
She cupped
my testicles and said, “Very low hanging.”
“Oh, does your wit never cease?!”
Now
she squeezed my balls to show me that I had better be careful about mocking
her.
Another
woman asked Lo if she liked taboo tales.
To which Lo responded, “How
taboo are we talking here?”
The woman said she was into watersports and bestiality.
Lo wrote back, “Let’s knot.”
“Don’t you mean. . . oooooh, I get it,” I said.
“Woof!” she said to me.
The woman, whose name was Mila Beijne., went on to tell a little story.
I was a model a
few years back and after doing a shoot I was talking a bit with the
photographer, the lighting guy and his assistant. They invited me to their home. I trusted them and liked them. We were all horny and I was willing, I admit. At the photographer’s home we had some drinks
and then they slowly undressed me. They
got naked too. They were all good looking men and one was really hung. They
kissed me everywhere and started fucking me in my mouth, pussy, and ass. I was very horny. After quite a long time,
they changed positions, each taking a different hole. Then they rotated again and fucked me a long
time again till I was exhausted. They
filled me up in every place they could. But
the fun was not over yet. One put me on
the floor and the other started urinating over me. Then the other two joined in.
It was a lot and all over my body and in
my long hair. There was no shower, so it
was a special experience driving home.
It was my first time doing that and I liked how the act showed their dominance
over me.
Mila asked to be included.Mila B. through the years
I could see Lo getting increasingly more excited as she read the short little story from Mila. She quickly wrote back, “Yeah, HH does that to me. I love it. Being below him, feeling his warm stream flow over my back and butt.”
“We haven’t done that in a while,” I
reminded her.
She ignored me because another fan
had written to her. This guy was
old. I mean, like twenty years older
than I and I’m in my 50’s! His name was
Bob and he wrote:
Hi Lola, and thank you!
You are an inspiration to me. I
hope you can give me some advice.
I’m in my 70’s and I’ve been in a relationship for over 25 years. No passion or sex for the last 20 years. I’m at a loss as it has become impossible to
talk about it with her. I’ve made the
mistake of combining our lives and living situations this whole time. It has become all about her for the last
several years. I feel I’m too old to
begin another relationship with a woman, yet I still admire all women and all
that I see on your blog. I’ve even
become curious about men as I feel that may be the only way to explore my
unresolved sexual fantasies. Yet I’m
still conflicted as I long for an intimate relationship that I’ve missed in my
life.
Do you have any suggestions??
Lola wrote back, “To tell you the truth, Bob, I’m just good wanking material, but I’m not a sex coach or a sex therapist. You might want to check out one of these trained professionals to get some expert advice on having more sex with spirit.” She provided a link. Then she added, “But if you’re looking for a real hotwife, cum to me.”
“What?!” I said to her, shocked that
she’d even offer that to him.
She ignored me and
typed, “I have a very soft spot for old married men whose wives no longer have
sex with them. Would you like to see
it?”
Of course he said
yes. Lo sent him a naughty pic of the
place between her legs that she was denying to me.
“Lo, that’s just
cruel!” I said.
“What? Soon you’re going to be that old and you’d
want the same from me. Wouldn’t you?”
“What’s cruel is
that I’m that old man who is being denied right now!”
“If what I’m
giving you isn’t good enough, then take matters into your own hands,” she
said.
As
she said it, another married man was singing her praises in a message that
read, “I’ve come to worship your holy holes.”
“See,”
she said, “I’ve got fans who know how to woo me.”
“Woo
you? They worship you!”
“What’s
the difference?”
After
some flirtatious back-and-forth, Lo asked to see a pic of the man’s wife.
He
asked why she wanted to see that and Lo responded, “I like to see who I’m
beating out when guys are beating off to me.”
The
guy sent a photo. His wife was
beautiful. But apparently she lacked the
‘personality’ of Lo. He wanted to know
more about Lo and he asked her questions.
“I’m
like an open book, there for anyone to read,” she responded, “You just have to
know where to find me. Are you familiar
with the Dewey Decimal system?”
“Like, in the library?”
“Yeah.”
“So, I can find you in my local
library?”
“If only,” wrote Lo, “I’m indexed
under XXX.”
“As in 30?” he wrote with a winkface
emoji. “Still pretty young.”
“Pretty, young, and slutty. I’ll tell you what, you can virtually finger
my folios at: mysexlifewithlola.com,” she said, “and you can also buy the books
there. I suggest you get a few copies of
each and donate the extras to your local library so everyone can spread my
centerfold for free.”
As Lo was typing, she guided my cock
to her mouth and wrapped her lips around the tip. She looked up at me as her hand continued to glide
back and forth from the base to her mouth.
I began to cum and she hungrily held me in place so as not to spill a
drop. I was so worked up that I couldn’t
control my convulsions. I began
breathing deep, heavy breaths. Lo looked
up at me and said, “What?! Are you having
a stroke?”
When I finally managed to catch my breath, I looked
down at her and said, “Yeah, I’m having a stroke. A really good stroke.”
Lo
wrote a final line to her fans: “Good night all you kinky sexy rogues. Dream of me in your debauched nocturnal
thoughts.”
She put her phone down, grabbed her Hitachi, lay back,
shut her eyes, and began vibrating until she was the one violently convulsing,
squirting, and gasping for air.
When she was done and had removed the Magic Wand from
between her legs, she grabbed my hand and placed it on her bare pussy for me to
feel how wet she was. She’s proud that
she can turn on the tap almost at will.
“Pull my pussy lips, Daddy,” she said. I stretched them. “Harder.”
I pulled more. “Harder Daddy,”
she complained.
“Lo, if I pull them any further they’ll be down to
your knees.”
“Try it,” she said.
She likes the pain or pleasure.
As I pulled I asked her, “What were you thinking about when you came?”
“I think about you.”
This line from her was as false as Marlow telling Kurtz’s
betrothed that Kurtz’s last words were her name.
“OK, that’s enough of that,” I said, calling
bullshit. “What did you really think about?”
“I think about you,” she said. “And I think about cock. I think about a lot of cock.”
“That’s it?”
“And pussy.”
I gave up there knowing that the
litany of licentious thoughts could go on endlessly. I sat silently and she mistook my silence for
judgment.
“You don’t know
what it’s like to be me!” she blurted out defensively.
“Oh yeah, you’ve
got it so hard,” I said sarcastically.
“I wish,” she said
even more sarcastically as she lifted up my flaccid member in her hand.
“You know,” I said, “your porn persona and your
personality are not consistent.”
“What are you talking about?”
“All those people out there thinking you’re a
nymphomaniac, thinking that I am so inundated with your pussy that I barely can
find a moment’s peace, yet the reality is that you denied me just now.”
“There’s no inconsistency.”
“How not?”
“Because I know you’re going to write about this and
so it will be part of my porn persona.”
The following interview was just published on the very elite blog: AuthorsInterviews by the wonderful Fiona Mcvie!
Hello and welcome to my blog, Author Interviews. My name is Fiona Mcvie.
Let’s
get you introduced to everyone, shall we? Tell us your name. What is your age?
LOLA:
Hi, my name is Lola Down. I’m in my
mid-twenties. My man, H.H., the author,
is in his mid-fifties.
Fiona:
Where are you from?
LOLA:
We’re both from the U.S. The North East
to be more specific. But that’s about as
specific as we get.
Fiona:
A little about your self (ie, your education, family life, etc.).
LOLA:
We’re both well educated with graduate degrees.
My family background is rather tattered and filled with pain. His is all American Apple Pie, so far as I
can tell, but I’m sure that there’s lots beneath the surface. He doesn’t talk much about it, so it’s a bit
of a mystery to me. We met when he was
my art history professor. I was a
freshman and 18. He was in his late
forties.
Fiona:
Tell us your latest news.
LOLA:
Latest news is that soon we will be publishing the third book in our series of Match, Cinder & Spark. The first volume, subtitled “Nymphomania and
the Single Girl,” included a lot of stories about me when I was single. The
second volume, subtitled “MORE!” included more stories. The third volume, subtitled “Writing Under
Cover,” included a story about living a double life: of normal folks by day,
and sexplorers by night. The next volume
is subtitled “Sexy Shorts” and will only be two-three page stories.
Get all of the books, hard-copy for best results.
Fiona: When and why did you begin
writing?
H.H.:
I began writing in high school. Short
stories, mostly of a sci-fi genre. In
college I tried a bit more, but it wasn’t very good. It wasn’t until I was in my late twenties,
early thirties and going through some very tough times in my personal and
professional life that I turned to writing as a form of escape, release, or
therapy. That’s when it began to go much
better.
Fiona: When did you first consider
yourself a writer?
H.H.: I never really felt like a writer and certainly never
introduced my self as such because it seemed so pretentious and false. But at a certain point I just had written so
damn much that it was undeniable that that was what I was. A tiny fraction of it had been published, but
it wasn’t until starting the blog, mysexlifewithlola.com, that I really felt
like a writer. That’s when our
readership just went up and up and people from all over the world began writing
to us saying how much the writing (and Lola) inspired them. That felt great!
Fiona: What inspired you to write your
first book?
H.H.:
After a few years of regularly writing and publishing for the blog, the
manuscript of stories was into the hundreds of thousands of words. Currently, as of today, the word count of
only the published stories is 476,472.
That doesn’t include the words in the hopper ready for publishing on the
blog, or the notes that have incomplete stories and fragments. So, even though the stores didn’t have a
narrative arc, and they were mostly a collection of stories with two main
characters in each story, I thought, this is a good way to make access to the
stories easier for people. The blog
navigation can be as confusing as it is easy, if that makes sense. I didn’t spent time shopping the manuscript
around since we already had a built-in fan base of over many thousands. Unfortunately, the first volume, Match, Cinder & Spark: Nymphomania and
the Single Girl, was rather lengthy and, in the hard-copy, we included a
lot of high-quality, glossy photos. That
shot the price really high. I didn’t
realize how expensive it would be until the project was finished. By that time, after all that work, I decided
that I was just going to publish it as is, let the buyer pay for the book. It
is a collector’s item, after all. And,
with some more work, I could publish an e-book version and sell it for
literally 1/70 the price. Unfortunately,
at the time, the technology was not available for the photos to be included in
the e-book, but that also meant that people all over the world could safely
read it in public places, like the subway or on a plane or the airport, without
fear that Lola’s pussy would suddenly pop up on the screen. And if they wanted to see Lola’s va-jay-jay,
they could always just do a Google search of mysexlifewithlola.com.
Fiona:
How did you come up with the title?
Lola: Match, Cinder & Spark – He’s the
“cinder,” that is, the fire that has passed its prime. I’m the “spark”; the catalyst that sets things
aflame. Together, we’re a match. I won’t say a perfect match, but one that is
highly combustible. . . and hot!
Fiona: Do you have a specific writing
style? Is there anything about your style or genre that you find particularly
challenging?
H.H.:
The writing usually comes very easy. It’s mostly quasi-autobiographical. Lo provides the inspiration and a lot of the
raw material for the stories and then I just take artistic liberties to craft
it into a story that has some form. But
every once in a while I try to switch it up by trying out a new narrative
style. I once wrote a story called “Fuck
Noir” and I tried, not too successfully, to adopt a detective novel narrative
voice. I was particularly fond of the
last line, but that was all Lola’s doing.
Fiona:
How much of the book is realistic and are experiences
based on someone you know, or events in your own life?
H.H.:
Like I said, almost all of the book is based upon something in our lives,
either individually or together. We take
pains to protect the innocent as well as the guilty, and I use poetic license
to intersperse scenes out of sequence in order to tell a better story, but
there’s very little there that didn’t actually happen.
Fiona: To craft your works, do you have
to travel? Before or during the process?
H.H.:
Travel provides great material. There has never been a trip that we have gone
on, either separately or together, that hasn’t produced at least one fun
story.
Fiona: Who designed the covers?
H.H.:
I once wrote a story called “How My Girlfriend Became an Amateur Internet Porn
Star” which is all about the design of the cover of our first book, Match, Cinder & Spark: Nymphomania and
the Single Girl. I had chosen some
stock photo for the cover and when Lo saw it, she freaked. “I go
on the cover. No one else. Me.” Well, from then on, I knew that any promo for
the book or the blog had to be of Lo. It
meant a lot of photo taking by me (and some sexy selfies), but it’s truly a
labor of love.
Fiona:
Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
H.H.:
Love yourself. Love the one you’re
with. Love each other. And if you’re single: Love yourself and love
our blog and books.
Fiona: Are there any new authors that
have grasped your interest? Who is your
favorite writer, and what is it about their work that really strikes you?
H.H.:
There are a lot of bloggers in our blogging community whose work I really
love. Too many to name them all, but a
small sample includes: Cara Thereon of CaraThereon.com, Hyacinth of
adissolutelifemeans.com, Nilla of Vanilla Mom’s Blog, just to name a few.
Lola:
Also, lately I’ve really enjoyed TJ of The Lustful Empress, Nero Black and his
eponymous blog, and lots of writers on Medium.com, most especially MyErotica
run by Rose, and the columns by Madelaine Hanson.
Madelaine Hanson
Fiona: Outside of family members, name
one entity that supported your commitment to become a published author.
Lola:
Actually, none of our family members know about this blog. But I’d say that
Medium.com has done the most in that they pay their member authors for the
content they create based upon some mysterious formula. I’m sure that they
somehow make far more than the authors, but it’s more than other platforms
provide.
Fiona: Do you see writing as a career?
H.H.:
Outside of the erotica that I write, I have a whole host of other works under
my real name. One day, maybe after I’m dead, the truth will out and then it
will become the unenviable task of others to reconcile the “legit” writing with
the “scurrilous” works. That is, of course, if anyone cares.
Fiona: If you had to do it all over
again, would you change anything in your latest book?
H.H.:
Well the latest book is just on the cusp of being published and so I’m trying
to insure that it will be the best yet.
Fiona: Did you learn anything during the
writing of your recent book?
H.H.:
I learned how much I love Lola, not because she’s so incredibly sexy, so dirty
in her thoughts, but because she is so incredibly funny. Writing dialogue with her is so easy because
our day-to-day lives together are full of amusing banter. We like to think of
ourselves as like Nick and Nora Charles from The Thin Man movies.
Fiona:
If your book was made into a film, who would you like to play the lead?
H.H.:
Jeremy Irons. I think he is wonderful in the remake 1997 of Lolita. But he’s probably a bit old for
the part now (though he’s in great shape).
Maybe Jeff Goldblum.
Lola:
Amanda (Donaghey) George. She looks just like me. Or maybe Sasha Grey, because she looks a bit
like me and is willing to do anything.
Amanda GeorgeSasha Grey
Fiona: Any advice for other writers?
H.H.:
Never take advice from a fellow writer.
They’re all full of shit.
Fiona: Anything specific you want to
tell your readers?
