Tag Archives: Pornography

A Woman’s Touch

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Lola came home from the sperm donation clinic in a very horny mood, as you might expect.  She told me all about it as I pounded her from the top, her legs spread, both hands down between her legs spreading her pussy as wide as it would go, inserting her eight fingers on either side of my cock in order to feel as full as possible, and squirting nearly continuously the entire time, soaking the bed and me.

Lola Bed Spreading panties on

Lola Bed Spreading no panties

When we were done and she had caught her breath, she relayed a little coda to the story.  When she returned inside the clinic to grab her coat, she spoke to the receptionist about the possibility of. . . well, you know what?  I don’t want to spoil the surprise, so I’ll just cut to the next time Lo met Terence at the clinic.  Oh yes, there was a next time.  Did you think there wouldn’t be?

They met in front of the clinic just like the first time.  She greeted him, taking his hand in hers, standing on tiptoe, giving him a kiss.  In the cold air, their breath created a small cloud before their faces.  She let him see her breasts under her coat.  This time she was wearing a turquoise blouse.  It wasn’t transparent, but it was thin.  No bra.  Hard nipples in the winter chill.  He liked what he saw.  They entered the clinic and were greeted by a different, yet also attractive, receptionist.

The Masturbatorium Staff, Ellie, second from right in front.

Terence gave his name, received the specimen cup, and was told to proceed to room #3 again.  Lo said, “Wait here,” as she removed her coat and hung it up on the coat rack, just like last time.  She rejoined her companion and they walked together into the collection room.  This time Terence was immediately set on his heels by two framed posters of Lola hanging on the white walls of the small room.  They were exactly where the posters by Roy Stuart hung last time they were in room #3.  The poster right in front of them was of Lo, bent over, heaps of cum dribbling out of her well-used pussy.  The second poster was to their left and it was nearly all a classic black-and-white.  Lo was lying on her back, her legs spread, copious cum dripping out of her pussy, as her manicured fingers rubbed her clit and her other hand played with her nipples.  The poster was artistically accented with the pink of her fingernails and pearls bracelet popping in color against the desaturated shades of grey.

Lola Poster

Lola Poster Cream Pie

“Is, is, is that who I think it is?” asked Terence.

Lola smiled mischievously.  “Who do you think it is?”

“I think it’s you.”

“You would be correct.  Do you like?”

“Very much,” he said, nearly panting.  “But. . . ?”

“Remember, last time, when I asked what you thought of the poster and you said. . .”

“Oh, I remember,” he interrupted.  Lola didn’t need to remind him.

“Well, I just thought the place could use a little bit of a woman’s touch.  You know?”

“But how did you. . . ?”

“I just flirted with the girl behind the desk a little and then asked her for a favor.”

“Really?”

“Yep.  Apparently it’s pretty popular.”

“Your poster?”

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“You see, it has the name of the blog on it?”

“Oh yeah.”

“A number of guys who have jacked off in this very room have contacted me.”

“Why?”

“To send me cumtributes of course.”

“A cumtribute?”

Lo couldn’t believe his naïveté.

“A cumtribute is a photo that a man or woman, or sometimes a couple or more, take where they show themselves getting off to my pics.”

“Oh,” he said, surprised.  “Do people do that?”

“A lot of people.”

Tribute photo from Purple’s Gem

“It’s like a kink?”

“Yes.  You have your kinks, they have theirs.”

“I could probably learn to like that kink.”

“I don’t think it would take you too long to learn.”

“I’m a quick study.”

“Speaking of kinks, let’s indulge in yours.  Ready?”

“Um, yeah!”

Lo put on the latex gloves and this time she had Terence undo and pull down his pants while she lubed up her right hand.

He sat down again and she grabbed his drooping cock in her palm.

“What does HH think of it?”

“Of what?” she asked, looking at him in his face as she absent-mindedly stroked his flaccid meat.

“Of, well, of your poster being up here.  He knows, doesn’t he?”

“Actually, no.  I didn’t tell him.”

“You didn’t tell him?!”

“It slipped my mind.”

“How does a thing like that slip your mind?”

Lola looked down, studying the project at hand.  He was growing, but still not hard.

“I guess I was busy with other things.”

“Does he know about the cumtributes?”

“Oh yeah.  I mean, he knows that I get them.  I suppose he doesn’t know about the ones I received recently from, well, from this room.”

Ellie reading from Match, Cinder & Spark to Terence while she coaxes his cum for a donation

Lola thought of all the guys who had jacked off in this room, jacked off looking at her poster, and the handful of them who had sent her photographic evidence of it.  It turned her on.  It probably turned her on more than Terence was turned on at the moment.

The Donation Station

“He knows you’re here with me right now, doesn’t he?”

“Oh yes.  I made sure of it.”

“What does that mean?”

“I like to tease.  I told him what I was going to do, where I was going to do it and with whom.”

“But he didn’t know that I’d be staring at your naked photos.”

“They don’t seem to be doing the trick.”

“Sorry,” he said, blushing.  “I guess I’m talking too much.”

“Oh, it’s ok.  I like talking. . . about me.”

“Did you pick out the photos?” he asked, looking at them again.

“I did.”

“Why did you choose these?”

“Well, the director specifically instructed Courtney. . .”

“Courtney?”

“The cute brunette behind the reception desk last time.”

“Oh, I know Courtney.”

Courtney

“I’m sure you do.  Anyhow, through her the director was very clear that I was only allowed to put up photos of myself if they included cum in them.”

“In them, or in you?” he asked.

“In, on, whatever.  What do you think of this one?” she asked, pointing to the small framed photo of her bent over in her tight latex pants with a puddle of cum on her ass.

Lola Cum Covered

“I’m hard already!”

“Yes,” she said as she looked at his erect cock, “finally.”

She stroked him as she watched how his stomach muscles flexed.  She added, “I guess the director knew that seeing a woman with cum on and in her can act as a form of encouragement.  I read somewhere. . . now where was it?  Oh yes, in the book Insatiable Wives – have you ever read it?”

“No, I’ve never heard of it.”

“Oh, it’s a great read.  It’s about, well, about hotwives, like me.”

“I’ll pick it up.”

 

 

 

 

Insatiable Hotwife Lola

“Anyhow, I read in that book that studies show men who see other men – or was it apes? – anyhow, males, let’s just say, who see other males fornicating with a female produce more sperm.  I think that’s why the director wanted sperm included in the pictures.”

“Makes sense.”

“Do you feel like you’re going to produce more sperm today?” she asked, looking down again at her hand pumping his hard, but hardly explosive cock.

“To tell you the truth. . .”

“Yes?”

“I’m really enjoying this.”

“Enjoying what?”

“You, touching me, talking to me while you fondle my cock and balls.”

Lo grabbed his left arm with her free hand and turned it to see his wristwatch.  “You’ve got about fifteen minutes.  You going to make it to the finish line?”

“Oh yeah.  I will.  You do this to HH?”

“Frequently.”

“How frequently?”

“Whenever I’m on my period.”

“You going to do it to him tonight?”

“Not if you take your full half hour to cum.  I’ll be getting a wrist massage,” she said, pausing in her pursuit of his happiness and grabbing the lube to lube up her left hand.

“Oh, sorry.  Maybe I should just get down to business,” he said, contritely.

“What will make you cum and cum quickly?”

“Well, if I could see your tits.”

“I guess you can’t see my tits in this poster, huh?”

“Nope.”

“But you can in this one.”

“Yes, but only in black-and-white.”

“OK then.  But my hands must remain sterile, so can you unbutton my blouse?”

“My pleasure!”

Slowly he undid each button, one-by-one, as she continued to manipulate his joystick in her slippery, gloved hand until the two sides of the blouse were hanging freely, as were her breasts.

“Beautiful,” he sighed.

“You like?”

“Yes.  God yes.”

She moved closer to him so the nipple of her left breast was a mere finger’s breadth from his lips.

“You may kiss, if you like.”

“And suck?”

“And suck.”

He latched on and she enjoyed it.  She released a long, guttural moan and the sound of her pleasure brought him to climax.  Unfortunately, Lo was lost in the sensation of his warm lips on her still chilly breast and didn’t immediately react to the ejaculation by having the collection cup ready.  He came on her.  On her stomach and on her black skirt.  Once she felt his hot cum making a mess, she jumped and fumbled with the jar.  She managed to collect just a fraction of the total discharge.  It would have to do.

She sealed up the cup and removed her gloves.  She used her index and middle fingers of her right hand to swipe up a good amount of the ejaculate on her torso and she slowly opened her mouth, stuck out her tongue, and placed the dollop in her mouth.  She swallowed and smiled.

“No one needs to know,” she said with a wink.

She buttoned up, wiped off her stained skirt, and walked to the receptionist’s desk.  She gave the cute receptionist the jar and grabbed her coat.

“Oh, Ms. Down,” said the receptionist, just as Lola was putting her arm through the crook in Terence’s arm to walk out together.

“Yes?”

“The director asked if you would kindly stop in to see him before you go.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Gladly,” she said.  “I mean, if that’s ok with you, darling,” she added to Terence, as if they were a couple.

“The director!  But of course!” he said with great enthusiasm.  “I will miss you at home,” he added, leaning in for a passionate kiss before parting ways.

Are you hear to donate?

Digital Inspiration

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It appears that word got out about Lola’s “immoral support” of Ted, the “known donor” for our friends Gina and Cam.  You see, a while back Lo “encouraged” Ted’s selfless sperm donation.  I’m pleased to say that the process eventually proved successful.  Gina and Cam are now the proud parents of a baby boy!

They are so proud that they have told a wide circle of friends and acquaintances all about the method by which they got pregnant, including Lo’s special role in it.  One morning, out of the blue, as Lo was scrolling through her long list of long dongs, micro penises, clits and tits to get herself off, she got a message from a stranger.  That’s not too uncommon, but this stranger knew our friends Gina and Cam and he had an unusual request.

His name was Terence and he was a man in his mid-thirties.  Like most of Cam and Gina’s friends, he wasn’t straight, but he wasn’t out as gay either.  He, like Lola, identified as “queer.”  But he wasn’t just queer, he had a downright perverted side to him.  There were a lot of things that he enjoyed doing to get himself off, but I’ll let those unfold as we get to them.  At this point, the one kink that he revealed to Lo was pertinent to the ask he had of her.

“I go to the sperm bank regularly to make a donation,” he said.

That’s quaint, thought Lo, as first.  A good Samaritan who, like a blood donor, gives of himself for others.  Not quite.  It turns out he likes to go there in order to wank in a public setting.  He likes the thought that the receptionist knows that he is jerking off in the room next to her.

This revelation really turned Lo on.  She had never thought of that possibility before.  Whenever she had thought of a sperm bank, which, given Lo’s predisposition for naughty imaginings she had thought of on occasion, she only thought of guys going in there embarrassed, a little humiliated, and bashful.  She hadn’t entertained the idea of a quasi-exhibitionist being turned on by the thought of everyone knowing from the outset what his particular purpose for visiting the clinic is and that, when done, they all know for certain what he had just accomplished.

She was intrigued, to say the least, and she carried on a lengthy correspondence with him.  He told her that he had been doing this on a regular basis at the same collection clinic for months now.  He also mentioned that – by design or happy coincidence – all the nurses at this clinic are very attractive and that he had built a special rapport with one of them named Ellie.

He told Lo how Ellie always works the closing shift.  For convenience, the collection clinic is open from 8:00 a.m. to 9:30 p.m.  They found that they get more people willing to donate after work hours.  She is the only staff on site, except for the security guard, after five.  He had made it a regular habit to donate when she’s working and she has taken some liberties with the rules.  It started out that he noticed her flirting with him.  Then, one week, he found a photo of her on the top of the pile of magazines.  Each week the photo she placed there got a little bit more risqué.  One week, when he exited the collection station room, he apologized to her and said, “I made a little mess.  I missed the target and spilled some semen on your, I mean, the photo in there.”

She gave him a knowing look.  He imagined, but couldn’t confirm, that she went into the room after and got the cum-covered glossy photo of herself and did something with it.  The next week he found she had left a nude photo of herself.  He made sure to make a mess of that too and apologize again.

Within the month, she was in the collection room with him, jerking him off.  She began by merely stroking him.  But then it progressed to her stroking him and reading passages from books and blogs.  At one point, she read to him from Match, Cinder & Spark.  She was already familiar with Lola and me because we had written about her in the post, “Triangles of Sadness.”  After she broke up with Steven, she actually became infatuated with Lola, even though Lola was the cause of her breakup.

Ellie & Steve before the breakup

It was a small world because she also read the story about Lola: “ICI – Home Insemination with a Known Donor.”  Terence realized that this Lola Down was the same person that his friends Cam and Gina had told him about.  Now he had her email address (through the blog) and he reached out to her.  Having learned about Lo’s personality, he wisely included some sexy selfies.

Terence expressed his kinky wish to Lo.  He knew that this donation clinic allowed for wives or significant others to accompany the donor in order to help with the donation process.  He wanted Lola to pose as his girlfriend for that purpose.  And, he wanted to do it during the day shift when his special nurse wouldn’t be there and so the nurses who didn’t know him would now be aware of exactly what he and Lola were up to in that room.  It was an extension and variation on his fundamental kink which was simply jerking off in a room merely a few feet from the nurse who knows what he’s doing and then seeing her face afterwards.

Perhaps unremarkably, the exotic and extravagant nature of this kink turned Lo on.  She spent many nights whispering in my ear, asking me what I thought it would be like for her to do this for Terence because, you see, Terence had just donated and so now needed to wait a couple of more weeks before he could schedule to make his deposit with Lo’s assistance.

Night-after-night she tantalized me by masturbating in the bed next to me, looking at Terence’s photos – which only got more explicit and, according to Lo, more hot, each day – and telling me the narrative of how she would like the session to go.

Lola looking at cumtributes.

Finally, the big day came – and so did Lo, many times that morning before left our warm bed to meet Terence at the fertility clinic.

It was a bitterly cold day.  We had been in the grip of a cold-snap for two or three days already.  Lo had spent at least an hour prepping for her little lab-assistant role.  She tried on at least five different outfits, asking me each time, “What do you think about this?”  I loved each one, but as soon as I said so, she found it objectionable for some reason and started anew.  Finally, she decided on a short skirt, black nylons under it, no panties.  A black, mostly transparent, crepe blouse, no bra.  Over that incredibly hot outfit, she draped her long, heavy white coat and put on her knee-high leather boots.

Lo getting dressed for “work”

I was desperate to have her.  Every outfit change, she stripped back down to nothing at all and it was too much for me to bear.  I was hard and suffering and she made me sit through the entire process.  Not that I was complaining, but it was a form of sexual torture.

She left me high and dry with the instruction that, under no circumstances, was I to masturbate.  That is pretty much a standing rule, but she knew how hot she had made me for her and she knew she’d want all that pent-up energy for herself upon her return.

Just like that she was off!  She was to meet Terence at the clinic.  Separate cars.  This was not a date.  Lo was very clear about that.  This was a clinical assistance project.

Whatever she wanted to call it, she arrived before Terence.

Lo waited in the car.  She could see her breath as she waited.  She touched herself between her legs, gently stroking over the nylons.  She liked the feel of the nylon as it rubbed against her pussy and clit.  She was getting wet.  Her warm wetness and the dropping temperature in the car was stimulating her between her legs.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to wait much longer.  Either he had to arrive or she’d have to “go all the way” with herself.

She saw Terence walking in the parking lot.  “Good,” she thought, “because any longer and I’d cum right here and who knows?  Maybe I’d squirt and it would freeze!”

Lo practically leapt out of the car and met him.

“Hey,” she said, trying to play it cool.

“Hi.”

It was awkward, but only for a moment.  Lola grabbed his hand.  “We’re supposed to be a couple, right?”

“Right,” he said.

They walked together into the clinic.  They stopped at the reception desk.  Terence flashed a cordial but gregarious smile at the woman sitting behind counter.  He introduced himself and said that he had an appointment for noon.  The woman typed something into her computer and then smiled back.

“Yes, room three,” she said, looking at Lola who had opened her long white coat to reveal the transparent blouse underneath it.  For a brief moment, Lola thought she had overplayed her hand.  The receptionist typed something into her computer and then looked up at Terence and Lo.  She said, “Ah yes, I see you have already entered the information about your service assistant.”

Lo tried to smile politely at the woman, but she felt as if “service assistant,” sounded too much like “service dog.”  But then Lo’s mind went to that kinky area (which is about 99% of her mind) and she began to think what it would be like to have a “service dog” to service her in the manner that she was about to service Terence.  Lo was already getting wet.  Or, wetter, I should say.

The receptionist passed a collection jar to Terence and also passed him an individual sized, complementary miniature tube of special lube that would not contaminate the collection sample.

“Do you need instructions?” she asked as she handed the lube to Terence.

“No, I’ve been here before.”

The receptionist gave him a knowing look and then went back to her typing.

Terence casually led Lo down the white, sterile hallway and to room three.  All along the hall were posters of Roy Stuart’s photos.  Terence opened the door and let Lo in like a gentleman.  In the little white room was a sink, a small white shelf next to it, a comfortable chair, a small TV screen with a CD player, some porno mags under the TV and more framed Roy Stuart posters on the walls.  Lo also noticed a large, coffee table book by one of her favorite photographers, Sabrina Dacos.

Roy Stuart Photography

Roy Stuart “Glimpse”

Sabrina Dacos Selfie

Sabrina Dacos tits and shaved snatch

Lo looked around, taking it all in.  She was even more excited now as she imagined all the men who had been in this room and what they were doing there.  Sex, in all its permutations and manifestations, holds a perpetual allure for Lo.

One thing that Lo’s keen observation of the room and its objects didn’t see was a coat rack for her white overcoat.

“You sit down.  Get comfortable,” she said to Terence.  “I’m going to find a place to hang up my coat.”

She turned back around and went out to the receptionist.

“Excuse me,” she said as politely as she could, “but is there a place for me to hang my coat?”

The receptionist pointed her down a different hallway.  “Just to your left,” she said.

Lo walked down that hallway and, to her surprise, she saw framed posters lining it with images by David Hamilton.

David Hamilton’s Laura

Art by David Hamilton

She saw a line of coat hangers along the far wall and she hung up her coat.  Walking back towards the receptionist – the building was shaped like an ‘L,’ with the receptionist at the intersection of the two perpendicular wings – she said, “I didn’t know you had a children’s section.”

The receptionist looked up, blank-faced.  She saw Lo’s prominent breasts, nearly naked, just under the loose-fitting sheer black blouse.  She merely opened her mouth, making a little pout with her lips.  Lo wasn’t sure what to make of it, but she took it as a compliment and walked past her proudly.

Lo breezed by a single man in the hallway who was also on his way to a different room.  Lo made clear and unambiguous eye contact with him.  However, his eyes quickly looked down and settled on Lo’s tits.  Lo could understand the allure to both working there and going there as an exhibitionist like Terence.  There was something exciting and stimulating for Lo knowing that the man she passed in the hall was either about to go jack off or had just finished.  And it excited her for him to know that she was roaming the hallway in search of stimulating some eager altruist ready to selflessly give his essence to some needy couple.  Lo walked briskly, keenly anticipating her part to play with Terence.

Terence was now sitting in the chair.  Lo looked at him.  He smiled at the sight of her in the blouse.  Lo had expected he would be naked, or at least pantless by this point, but he was just sitting there, clothed as he was when Lo went down the hall.  He also wore a wide grin on his face, staring at her tits and then her eyes and back to her tits.

“So,” said Lo, “how do you want to do this?”

“I guess, if you just unzip me, pull me out, lube me up, and I’ll take it from there,” he said.

Lo pulled out to sterile latex gloves from the box on the counter next to the Sabrina Dacos book.  She put them on and then unbuttoned Terence’s pants, unzipped the fly, pulled them down around his ankles.  He was already hard and bulging from under his tight white underwear.

Lo pulled down the underwear and his long, thick dick sprung out like a Jack-in-the-Box.  Lo marveled at its size, shape, and apparent eagerness to donate.

“You like?” he asked.

“MmmmHmmmm,” she moaned.  Her face was only inches away from the specimen and, had they been in another setting, she would have taken the meat in her mouth with relish.  But she could not do that, lest the donation become contaminated and useless.

“Anything in particular that will help you?”

“Can you get naked?”

“No,” said Lo, as if offended.  “This is not for pleasure.  This is a selfless act of generosity to both science and humanity.”

What a load of malarkey!  Did she actually believe that?  No.  It was part of the game.

“Then,” he said a bit disappointed, “can you at least stand close to me?”

In point of fact, she was actually standing right next to him.  He sat.  She leaned over and held his cock in her gloved hand.  She was bouncing it on her fingers to see just how rigid, weighty, and stiff it was.  Then she put a heaping dab of the lube in her palm.  She slowly applied the lube to his shaft, deliberately stroking up-and-down, base-to-tip, a few times before setting to work in earnest.  She began vigorously jerking him off.

“A little slower,” he requested politely.

She shifted into a lower gear.

“Like this?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“Your tits.”

“Say more.”

“I want to suck them and lick them.  Those nipples under your blouse – God!  They look amazing.”

She leaned in a little further so that the apex of her breasts were mere centimeters from his lips.

“How long does it typically take you to cum?” she asked.

“I masturbate a lot,” he said.

“That’s ok.”

“So it takes me nearly the full half-hour.”

The rooms were assigned by half-hour increments, but the staff preferred if donors were faster so they had proper time to clean up and disinfect each room when done.

When he said this, Lola took it as a personal challenge.  How quickly could she get this compulsive masturbator to ejaculate?

“When’s the last time you came?” she asked.

“This morning.”

“What?!  I thought they only allow you to donate once every two weeks because if you did it more often it lowers the sperm count.”

“Yeah, that’s a dumb rule, isn’t it?” he said, looking at Lo, their eyes and mouths very close.  “I mean, they can’t monitor or control what happens at home.”

“What did you cum to this morning?” she asked.

“Thinking about you doing this.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“And, in your imagination as you were at home in bed jacking off, what did you think would happen?”

“Can I tell you the truth?”

“Yes, please!”

“I was jacking off in bed next to my sleeping wife.”

“Your wife?!” asked Lo, still stroking up-and-down, “You’re married?”

“Yes.  You didn’t know that?” he said, looking directly at her now.

“No, I didn’t know anything about you except that you heard about me through Gina and Cam and what you’ve told me.”

“Are you upset?”

“No, not at all.  Why should I be?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe you think I’m a perverted, sleazy, creep.”

“Why would I think that?  Because you’re married and go to a sperm bank to get off and you masturbate in bed next to your sleeping wife?”

“Well, uh, yeah.  When you put it that way.”

“Don’t.  Everyone has their kinks, their quirks, their turn-ons and offs.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

“I mean, I know that, but you don’t think bad of me because of it?”

“Of course not.  In fact, it turns me on that you were jerking off next to her.”

“It does?”

“Yes,” she said, adding pressure to her grip and speed to her stroke.  “It will turn me on more if you told me what you were thinking about as you did it.”  She brought it back to this because he was losing his hard-on with all the conversation.

“I was thinking that you’d get naked and let me feel your body, maybe let me suck your tits, and. . .”

“Now, now,” said Lo, putting a damper on his hopes, “that would be against the rules.”

In point of fact, there were no rules other than not contaminating the sample by coaxing it out either orally or vaginally.  But no rules were in force to stop Lola from getting naked.  She just liked enforcing arbitrary rules.

“Too bad,” he said.

“What do you think of that?” asked Lo, indicating the Roy Stuart poster in front of them.

Terence glanced up at the brunette in the frame and then looked deep into Lola’s eyes and simply said, “I wish it was you.”

That little comment put an idea in Lo’s head and she felt herself gushing from the thought of it.

She started moaning as if she were the one receiving the erotic massage and the auditory stimulation really got Terence going.

“Are you wet?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“You like stroking me?”

“Mmmmm, so much.”

“You want to see me cum?”

She just bit down on her lower lip and this was enough to bring Terence to the brink.

“Quick!  The specimen jar!”

Lo grabbed it as Terence took matters in his own hands and aimed right at the small target.  Out came loads and loads of cum – more than Lo had ever seen before in one orgasm.  If she was gushing just a moment ago, now she was a full-on leaky labiator.

“FUUUUUUCK!” cried out Terence, certainly loud enough for the receptionist to hear.

“That’s a boy,” encouraged Lo, dropping to her knees as if wanting desperately to be the receptacle for his deposit, as if worshiping his cock and potency, as if weak in her knees from the visual excitement.

When he was done, he cleaned up the bit he spilled or dribbled down his leg and then he pulled up his pants, zipped up, tucked in his shirt, and made himself generally presentable.

Lo and Terence emerged from room #3 and walked to the reception desk.  Terence dropped off the collection container and the receptionist looked up without any expression on her face.

“All set,” said Terence.

“All set,” the receptionist replied with a polite smile.

Lo was holding Terence’s hand as if she was his girlfriend.  She returned the polite smile to the receptionist and the two of them walked out into the freezing cold.  Lo’s nipples became like diamond cutters immediately and she squeezed Terence’s hand and said, “You go on home.  I forgot my coat!”  She gave him a loving kiss, open-mouthed, and squeezed his hand before turning around and going back into the clinic.

Terence waited a bit in the parking lot, but when Lo didn’t come back out for a while, he figured he’d better drive away before he looked like he was stalking her, or someone else at the clinic.  After all, his car was on, the windows were fogging up, and it was clear from the exhaust that he was just idling in the parking lot outside the front doors of the sperm donation site.

Send Lo your cumtribute.

Totally Taboo: Interview with Hani Miletski

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WARNING! THIS POST MAY NOT BE FOR YOU. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, JUST IGNORE IT.

But, it may also be educational for you.

Statue of “Lola Takes a Lover” surrounded by art of Lola on the Left and Right, and MILF Meri, center.

Totally Taboo

For all you devoted readers of MySexLifeWithLola, you are probably aware that some of our posts are on the more risqué side of sex blogging.  Various of our friends – MILF Meri, Lilly, and even Lo and her sister Robie – engage in sexual practices that are not to everyone’s taste.  We have heard from a lot of you and, for those of you who love these relationships and those of you struggling, we bring you this insightful interview with the pioneer researcher and therapist of some of the most ticklish taboos: bestiality and incest.  Consider this your trigger warning.

Taboos – Popular, Hidden, and Unthinkable – and Interview with Hani Miletski:

In her groundbreaking work on Mother-Son incest, Hani Miletski says about her study that it “provides arguments to support the assumption that the apparent rarity of mother-son incest has more to do with society’s inhibitions and inability to accept the fact that this form of incest exists than with the actual taboo’s strength.  It is as though the taboo is about preventing the belief that mother-son incest exists rather than about preventing it from actually happening.”  Over a hundred years since Freud’s famous “Seduction Theory” shocked the Victorian Age by suggesting that incestuous relationships (mostly involving minors and abuse) happened far more frequently than anyone suspected or was willing to admit, society is still unwilling to admit one form of incest – that involving a desiring mother.

Match, Cinder & Spark on Audible dot Com

Mom & Daughter have “the talk.”

Mom & Daughter

In addition to Miletski’s work, there is also the fine scholarship done in 1992 by Beverly Ann Ogilvie who wrote The Experience of Mother-Daughter Incest, and one earlier work, from 1987, by Karen Louise Kenney, who wrote, Maternal Incest: An Annotated Review of the Literature on Mother-Daughter and Mother-Son Incest.

Desiring Moms

Crime & Punishment

Taking the taboos of society one step further, there is the radical study by Miletski, Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia, in which she engages in primary research with 26 men and 6 women, all of whom engaged in some degree of bestiality and/or zoophilia.  The research was undertaken to understand these people and how they understand themselves.

MILF Meri and son

If you’re interested in this work, then you will want to read this brief interview with Miletski.

  1. You really tackle the most difficult, taboo, and even repressed topics – Mother-Son incest and bestiality. Why? What originally got you interested in these topics?

I like to research topics that I don’t know much about.  It makes any research project much more interesting.

Mother-Son Incest started as my master’s thesis.  I was doing my MSW at Catholic University in DC, and I knew I will be pursuing my certification in sex therapy as soon as I graduate.  So, I wanted my thesis to be about some topic related to sexuality.  But, being at a Catholic university, I couldn’t write about orgasms or erectile dysfunctions, for example, so I chose to write about sexual abuse.  My advisor wanted me to be more specific, so I chose incest.  That was not specific enough for my advisor, so I chose mother-son incest because I had never heard of it at that time, and I was thinking that my thesis will end up being about why mother-son incest never happens, until I started researching it…

Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia started as my doctorate dissertation.  At that time, I was already working as a sex therapist, and one of my clients was into sex with dogs.  I had already started researching the topic because I didn’t know what to do with her, so when it came time to choose a topic for my dissertation, that was an obvious choice, as there was really nothing out there about people who cannot stop thinking of, and wanting to, and having sex with animals.

Lola and Woman’s Best Friend

  1. What was your approach with that patient who was into sex with dogs then and how would it be different after you did your research?

My approach has not changed.  I believe the most important thing as a therapist is to be non-judgmental, open-minded, empathic, curious, attentive, and supportive.  The answers to any questions/problems come from working together with the client, as a team, as we explore various possibilities until we find the best solution.  In my client’s case, she felt extreme shame about her behavior, and she wanted to stop having sex with dogs, but could not.  I helped her realize and accept that this was a sexual orientation that she, obviously, did not choose for herself.  I helped her realize and accept that she was not doing any harm to the dogs (she only had sex with male dogs – they were penetrating her).  And I helped her learn how to be careful so she doesn’t get caught.

Movie Poster from a mainstream movie about bestiality

  1. You mentioned that you had been turned down by at least ten publishers. Did you find it difficult to get your work peer reviewed and published? What sorts of obstacles did you face? What did publishers or even your colleagues say about your work?

I tried to get the book Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia published, but no publisher wanted to touch this subject.  They simply told me that this is not a topic they were interested in, so I ended up self-publishing the book and I have not tried to get it published by a publishing house anymore.   This was 22 years ago.

My colleagues were against my writing my dissertation about this topic, let alone publishing it.  They thought it would pigeon-hole me and it would make potential future clients shy away from seeking my help.  I obviously did not listen to them.  There were probably people over the years who did not contact me for this reason, but the people who did always told me that they felt comfortable telling me all their hidden secrets because if I could deal with bestiality, I could probably deal with everything else.

Art by Pulpbrother

  1. In Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia, you explicitly open up the question as to bestials or zoophiles being a “sexual orientation.” But you don’t ever take that approach with the mother-son study. Do you think that there is a certain contingent of women out there who are only attracted to either their children (sons, daughters), or to young people? In the wake of every sensational news story about women who seduce minors, especially if the perpetrator is attractive, like Debra Lafave, people always ask, “Why would she do that if she could get anyone she wanted because she’s so beautiful/sexy?” But they don’t seem to understand that it’s not merely about getting physical sexual needs met. What do you think?

Debra Lavave and Ex-Husband, Owen Lafave

Debra Lafave

Debra Lafave

Not Debra Lafave, but purported to be.

Tampa, the Novel inspired by Debra Lafave

I believe there are women who are sexually oriented toward minors, just like some men are.  I honestly never thought about a sexual orientation toward one’s own children, but I guess anything is possible.

  1. Have you read the book Tampa? If so, what are your thoughts?

I have not read this book, but just from the write up about it, it looks like a similar story to the Mary Kay Letourneau scandal, in the early 90s.

  1. When you published Mother-Son Incest in 1995, were you aware of or had you read Beverly Ann Ogilvie’s 1992 study, The Experience of Mother-Daughter Incest? If you’re familiar with it, what similarities and differences do you find in the two taboo relationships?

Mom & Daughter Tease

Unfortunately, I have not been aware of this study.  I was aware of Rosencrans’ (1997) study of 93 daughters and nine sons who had been sexually abused by their mothers.  Nine men heard about her study and asked to participate in it.  She ended up adding a chapter in her book (The Last Secret: Daughters Sexually Abused by Mothers) about these nine men.  Although all nine men admitted to having had incestuous relationships with their mothers, 89 percent of the sons (eight men) believed they had a normal childhood, compared to only two percent of the 93 daughters.  All nine men felt they were their mothers’ lovers and did not perceive themselves as victims.

Mom & Daughter

  1. When you did your study on bestials and zoos, you mention a few times about how new the internet is and how new you were to it. Since then, the internet has developed quite a bit. Have you seen what people are posting now depicting bestiality? What are your thoughts?

Knotty Fairy getting off to Lola

Last I checked, it’s all about pornography.  All the online groups/listservs/websites/etc. that used to be around when I was doing my study, they all disappeared.  The ones that came after, came and went.  They always face threats from outsiders and sometimes even from within the community.  It’s a shame.

Fan pic, getting off to Lo

Fan pic, getting off to Lola

Fan Photo Getting off to Lola

Fan Photo, Getting Off to Lo

Fan Photo, Getting off to Lo

Fan Photo, Getting off to Lo

  1. Desiring women have become more prevalent in popular culture, whether we’re talking Frankie Shaw’s character in MILF, Mary-Louise Parker’s character in Weeds, Zooey Deschanel’s character in The New Girl, or Y tu mamá también. All these popular shows include the desirous dimension of women in ways that were taboo not long ago. Do you think that, as a culture, America is ready to explore the famous “dark continent” of women’s sexuality, as Freud called it?

Marie-Louise Parker

Frankie Shaw of SMILF

Frankie Shaw, SMILF scene

SMILF with Frankie Shaw Look Carefully and you’ll see what gets Frankie Shaw off.

Zooey Deschanel

I think this question is too theoretical.  I think the U.S. has come a long way regarding the acceptance of women’s sexuality, but the U.S. is very large, with a huge population, many various cultures, and countless opinions, so I would not attempt to make such a guess.

Art Appreciation 101 – The Minotaur

  1. Both bestiality and mother-son incest are among the more prevalent themes in Greco-Roman mythology. How do you account for that?

Meri and son – very Oedipal

They are among the most taboo in practically every culture.  The more something is taboo, the more curious people are about it.  It’s human nature.  And, by the way, these two themes are also among the most popular pornographic themes and the most visited sites.

  1. One of the most obvious, yet least discussed, images of mother-son incest is in the depiction of Venus and Cupid/Aphrodite and Eros.  They are considered mother and son and often depicted in sexually suggestive poses.  Given that these are the mythical origins of sexual desire, do you think there is something deep in our psyche that ties sexuality with this primary relationship?

There probably is something deep in our psyche that ties sexuality with this primary relationship.  I talk about it in my book.

From the Bible – Lot and His Daughters

Sisters – Lo and Robie

  1. What about mother-daughter incest?  Though you call mother-son incest “the unthinkable broken taboo,” wouldn’t mother-daughter incest, since it is almost never depicted (in myth, legend, art, or psychological studies), be even more “unthinkable” for that very reason?

Very possible.  In my book/thesis I was focusing on mother-son incest, but that does not mean that mother-daughter incest is not, or maybe even more, unthinkable.

MILF Meri

Still Crazy After All These Years!

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You might think that the title of this post is referring to HH and me, your beautiful blog bunny, Lola. Well, it’s not. It’s referring to an inspiring older couple, Mr. and Mrs. E, who have a Just For Fans site that is just amazing!

Mr. E is a talented artist, and his talent shows in his photography. Mrs. E is his muse and a beautiful model. Together they are a couple that other kinky couples can admire and hope to inspire.

The Mrs. is a fan of Match, Cinder & Spark!

Here’s my interview with them:

Q: I went through your whole Just For Fans. It looks like you started back in late 2019, but you migrated there from Tumblr. When did you two start with the erotic photography?

A: Mr E: I wanted to show her, how erotic and sexy she was/is… so we played around just for us. Watching the pictures on big TV-screen and having fun.

Mrs E: Very often the shoots lead to passionate fucking sessions.

Mr E.: Around 2015 I discovered tumblr. – that was great, you could post uncensored, had great style, nice Archive. Perfect – We had 85K Followers, when the tumblr purge started. They deleted our blog – with 12K pictures…

Mrs E: He was devastated… we were devastated… than MeWe came along, they also deleted some blogs…

Mr E: Then I was looking for a safe haven… where we could keep the nerds and idiots out. The money (it’s only 1/10 of what we (mostly me !) spend on lingerie…) – One platform we like, but lately problems with the followers counter, is X formerly Twitter…

Mrs E: I love to see the posts on the big TV-screen, also after every shooting…

 

 

 

Q: I was going to say, it looks like you spend a lot on lingerie! Was it a fetish for both of you, or did you both grow into it? Does Mr E ever like to wear the lingerie? (BTW, that’s a BIG turn-on for me – men in panties and nylons, etc.)

A: Mrs E: I always loved lingerie, but Mr E really got me into it…

Mr E: I was always a big fan of stockings and garters and nylons, and for the shoots I was looking for nice stuff… from every business trip she got some pieces…

 

 

Q: I see that Gunter Blum and Roy Stuart are featured in some of your photos. Are they big influences on either of you? Who else is an influence in the photos you take?

A: Mr E – Artistic and aesthetically a lot of artists had an influence on me… photographer: beside the ones you mentioned, are H. Newton, Araki, Knoll and others…

Mrs E: I loved it when he brought the newest LEG SHOW issue home…. great inspiration…

 

 

Q: For Mrs E: I see in some of the photos images of you apparently getting off to other photos of sexy, scantily clad or naked women. Are you into women? More generally, what are your kinks and do you have sex with anyone besides or in addition to Mr.?

I think she’s into Lola Down

A: Mrs E: I have a lot of close female friends, love to look at sexy women, but I’m not into women. We had some experiences with other couples (not really satisfying) and few MMF – one was fine, but from far away… He loves to fantasize about us with another man…

Q: Well, I will admit, I wish it was my photos all over the wall in this beautiful picture! (wallpaper)

A: Mr E: that’s a funny crazy story: coming home from a business, she surprised me with a Paperwall (between a door) covered with this porn collage. It was a Lucky Hole!!!!

Q: Do either of you care to share how it came about and what inspired it? (Squid photo)

A: Mrs E: Mr E loves to cook! Holidays on a Island with a great population of these delicious animals made us fantasize… btw. it was delicate cooked… lol –

Q: Tell me, what are your hopes, dreams, plans for the future with regard to the erotic photography? Do you think you’ll make a book of it?

A: Mr E: We don’t plan to much, as long as we love what we do, we carry on… and yes a book is one of our opportunities… or NFT… but all is vague…

Q: I see in one of the photos, she’s reading “Talk Dirty to Me.” What sort of erotica do you two (or each of you) enjoy? What sort of porn? Do you like to masturbate together or alone or both?

Favorite Erotica? Match, Cinder & Spark

A: Mrs E – I read everything from classic erotic literature to pornographic texts. But I like it best when he reads to me, his dark erotic voice turns me on… I like looking at other women, old Leg Show magazines or artistic pornography. That’s why our favorite go-to erotica has been your Match, Cinder & Spark books! Every now and then we watch porn together, sometimes just as a silent background wallpaper.

Mr E: I am well-educated in pornography. LOL – I’ve always been interested in the history of pornography. As a media person, I’m a porn gourmet, even if I enjoy home cooking now and then. I read a lot, including theoretical writings on pornography, so it was obvious to try to create aesthetic pornography yourself.

Lola: Thank you both for this interview – it was such a turn-on to talk with you and to learn from you!!! We both wish you two the best with your erotic adventures!

Go check out Mr. and Mrs. E at stillcrazyafteralltheseyears on Just For Fans!

Interview with Author, Dominatrix, and F-Girl Emme Witt-Eden

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This week our good friend and talented writer, Emme Witt-Eden, a.k.a. “Mysterious Witt,” became a full-fledged author with the publication of her memoir: Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl. (You can read our review here.)

She was generous enough to sit down with us for an interview about the book, writing, marriage, and of course, sex.

Promo for Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl

 

L – Congrats on your new book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl! And thank you for letting me (or us – me and my man, H.H.) read it ahead of time to write a review. We loved it! We each devoured it in about three days. When we got together to talk about it, we devoured each other. What a sexy ready. But it’s also so personal – I mean, it is a memoir after all. Since it is a memoir, as opposed to an autobiography, it only portrays a sliver of your life – from the time your marriage fell apart to your emerging as a self-aware, self-confident f-girl. Tell us how you’d characterize yourself in your marriage and before. I mean, in the memoir you say you “claimed” your sexuality, not “reclaimed it,” because you felt like you never actually had it to begin with, but what was your sexuality (real and fantasy life) like before?

EWE – Ha-ha! I wouldn’t characterize myself as a completely self-confident f-girl in my book. I was still suffering from quite a bit of insecurity and was working my way through this throughout the entirety of the book. But I did definitely find myself again through sex, even though I still met with other challenges, such as some bad matches in bed and a guy who totally broke my heart.

But back to the other part of your question. I would say that my sexuality has fluctuated quite a bit throughout my life. I was very prude and full of shame in my younger life, even if I had sex for the first time at 15. I really didn’t enjoy penetration and a lot of it was because I felt like I was doing something bad. I come from a very conservative family and sex was always framed as something that I was giving up to a man who would use me if I wasn’t careful (and prude). And even after I got married, I should still feel shame surrounding sex, because my parents definitely treated their sex life – or what I knew about their sex life – in that way. Sex was something to hide at all costs, they were not going to talk to me about it, and I was not allowed to ask about it. I hate to say, but as I came into my own as a young woman, I suffered quite a bit from the mother wound, meaning my mother had a very negative view of sex, and I, sadly, adopted that.

I only started to open up – sexually speaking – when I became a dominatrix after college (pre-marriage!). But I didn’t see that job as sexual. I thought domming was just about treating men like garbage. (If you’d like to learn more about this era of my life, please read my newsletter The Accidental Dominatrix.) Nevertheless, my job as a pro-domme helped me deal with some of my shame. Little by little, my body image improved, and I started to explore myself sexually. And yet, during that time, I still maintained the belief that I had to keep my body count low or no man would ever want to commit to me. I did not embrace, nor did I completely own my sexuality, in that era, though I was on my way to getting there. This is why I say that I only finally “claimed” my sexuality after I left my first husband, as even when I was working in the sex industry as a dominatrix, I was still quite prude and felt like I was always at the mercy of men whom I let have so much control over me emotionally.

Fortunately, after my divorce, I finally worked through these issues. Finally, I was able to enjoy sex just for sex – and that was incredibly liberating! In that regard, I say that I finally “claimed” my sexuality. I hope that makes sense.

And…. to fully answer your question, I would say that I did have some BDSM fantasies even when I was working as a pro-domme. I had the desire to be dominated, but for the reasons I explained, I wasn’t ever able to experience it in a satisfying way. Back then, kink wasn’t viewed as it is today, as this fun thing that’s pretty benign, just a way to spice up sex. Back then (this was the 90s), kink was seen as a pathology. Though I had kink fantasies, when I would tell my lovers about them, they always thought I had some sort of mental issue. This was extremely painful and I’m very glad that we’re much more open today about the healthy, normal reality of kink.

A little cross-endorsement from Emme Witt-Eden

L – You’ve been in the lifestyle for some time now. As I recall, you used to not show your face in your posts on Medium.com and other social media, but now you do. Does this mean you’re “out” to your friends and family? And, I guess most importantly, does your ex-husband David know about this memoir?

EWE – Yes, you’re right, there was a time when I didn’t show my face because I was very keen on protecting my family from scandal. LOL. But seriously, I have kids whom I wanted to protect. I was also protecting my conservative family from embarrassment and pain. I’ve already been told that I’ve hurt my family. Quite a few of my family members know about my dominatrix past. It’s just so much pressure on me to feel like I’m bringing people so much pain just for exploring and writing about my own sexuality. I know this sounds crazy! But to make everyone happy and to keep the peace I once decided to hide my identity.

Not just that, there’s a part of me that likes privacy. I have a social life with other parents from my kids’ school and I just don’t feel like having to explain some of my life choices to these people. And I think many of us are like this. We have a face we show one set of friends and colleagues and a face we show another. We might have a professional face that we show our workplace friends, but they don’t know what goes on in our bedroom. I’ve happened to have chosen to make a profession out of what goes on in my bedroom and so it’s created this tension. A lot of people are simply not the appropriate recipients of the spicy news of my sex life. So, when they find out about it, I have to first listen to their judgments, and then decide whether we’re going to continue to be friends. This has basically resulted in me having much fewer friends, because, as a rule, people are very close-minded.

A couple of years ago, when I decided to show my face, several things had happened. I realized that I wasn’t going to get ahead in my writing career unless I started revealing what I look like. And when I did, I knew I would lose people. And so I basically had to get to the point where I was so tired of hiding parts of myself that I realized it was better to lose everyone. I’m just not interested in perpetuating the balancing act of ensuring certain people like me by hiding so much of myself. I’m finally ready to own up to who I am and that’s why I started showing my face. Of course, I still write under a pseudonym for now. Part of that is to just protect myself from trolls. It’s a crazy world out there, I’ll tell ya. Oh, and David does know I’ve written about him. He doesn’t care enough about my writing to give a crap, though. God, I’m glad we’re divorced.

L – Are your kids old enough to know about your “alternative” lifestyle? Have you told them or did they find out? Or will you be telling them at some appropriate time?

EWE – My kids still aren’t old enough and it’s really not appropriate for me to talk about it with them. However, my second husband, the man whom I’m currently married to, really applauds the way that I talk about sex with my kids. I’m very open and I talk about sex in a very calm and clinical manner. I don’t clam up and feel shame or tell my kids to stop asking questions. My current husband wasn’t like that with his kids and so he looks at my openness as this wonderful thing. I am able to guide my children as they learn about their sexuality, and I can do this in an open and honest way. And that is the result of the life I’ve led. But when the time is right, when my children older, I will tell them more about my life. I no longer feel shame. I’ve led the life I have because I’m curious and felt like a major part of my humanity was basically off-limits to me because I’m a female. I simply decided to explore those taboo territories. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Emme Witt-Eden

L – In the book you mention taking a creative writing class (and crushing on the professor). Would you workshop your erotic stories in the class, or did you keep it PG for the other students (and the hot professor)?

“Hey Emme, where you going?”
“My creative writing class.”

EWE – Hells no, I never workshopped my erotic stories in class. But I was writing a novel about the implosion of my marriage. It was basically a thinly veiled memoir, and a couple of those chapters did make it into Confessions, though in different form. I published a lot of the other stories under a different account on Medium. Yep, I get around… But no, I have never workshopped my erotic stories, and honestly, even my novelized stories have scandalized people. Sometimes I really hate other writers. I find writers to be the most conservative group of creative people. Musicians and visual artists are so much more chill.

L – What inspired you to turn your shorter works of writing into a book-length memoir?

EWE – Once again, I felt like I could get farther ahead in my career by actually having a book. A book gets people’s attention the way shorter pieces don’t, even though my shorter pieces have been quite lucrative. But writing a book is also a huge risk. If a shorter piece bombs, it’s no big deal, you just write another one. If a book bombs, then you’ve spent quite a while writing it and that sucks. Fingers crossed this project does well.

L – Care to share some of your favorite authors and/or books?

EWE – In the last year, I’ve been reading a lot of Annie Ernaux, Virginie Despentes, and Guadalupe Nettel. In my heart, I’m a literary fiction fanatic. Oh, and Maggie Nelson’s books are the bomb.

L – Care to share some of your favorite erotic authors and/or books and/or porn?

EWE – I like Japanese porn a lot because the actors tend to look like they’re actually enjoying the action, instead of just acting for the camera. American porn is so histrionic with the actors acting so fake, continually looking toward the camera because they know they’re being filmed. It’s obvious it’s a performance, and as a female, that’s a turn-off for me. Men probably don’t notice it, but I do. I’m not sure how you categorize your Match, Cinder & Spark series, but your man, HH, writes some of the best erotica I’ve read! And the photos and art of you are – well, let’s just say “inspiring”!

Emme Witt-Eden getting off to Match, Cinder & Spark, Volume V: Shorter Shorts, in public. An author, avid erotica reader, dominatrix, and exhibitionist!

L – I noticed in the memoir that, with all the f-girl shenanigans you got up to, there was no girl-on-girl, anal, bondage, or water sports. You make it very known in the book what you do and don’t like. Are those not on your kinks list or did you grow into them later?

EWE – Oh, there was a little bit of bondage in the first chapter of Confessions. You’ll have to wait for the girl-on-girl action for the new book I’m writing. In terms of anal, that’s not something that I typically engage in as a hookup, so there wasn’t much in this book. Luckily, my current husband is the one who gets to enjoy having his dick up my ass. In terms of water sports, that’s something I explored as a dominatrix but honestly, I’m not really into that.

L – What advice, if any, would you give to young married mothers who are in committed, but rather unstimulating relationships, somewhat like you were in just at the start of the memoir?

EWE – My advice? Well, they committed to this guy for a reason, so they might as well make the best of it. I would advise doing everything they can not to let the passion die. I would schedule date nights and sex. A lot of people don’t like to schedule sex because they think that’s not romantic. Well, this is just the way it is once you get married and have kids. We can no longer drop everything and have sex whenever we want. So schedule sex. Don’t, and watch the passion fizzle away.

Then again, if you’ve tried everything and it’s still not working out, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with considering a divorce. That or an open marriage. Non-monogamy is no longer perceived as the crazy thing it once was, so I think it’s a great way to deal with mismatched libidos

L – Any bucket list goals you hope to achieve this year?

EWE – I really want to get the sequel of this book done!

L – What can we expect from future publications by you?

EWE – You can expect my second book in this series: Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-girl in Costa Rica. And then my third: Diary of a Middle-Aged Sugar Baby.

L – Thanks Emme! We cannot wait to see those books come out as well as a prequel about your time as a dominatrix!!!

You can find Emme Witt-Eden, a.k.a. Mysterious Witt here:

F-girl dating Instagram: @mysterious_witt

Kinky consultant Instagram: @emmewitteden

www.emmewitt.com

Interview with Porn Star Hotwife Sara Anne and her Husband

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Interview with Porn Star Hotwife Sara Anne and her Hubby

Hotwife Sara Anne

LOLA – Sara Anne – I’m such a BIG fan!  I’m so glad you agreed to this interview.  And I’m really glad the interview with “After Hours Radio” came out first so I could listen to it and come up with some interesting questions based upon what I’ve learned about you and your hubby.

That said, first question: Not sure if you’ve raid Rated X by Maitland Ward, the former “Boy Meets World” star, turned adult film star, but her story reminded me a lot of you.  She was brought up with strict and conventional notions of sex and, though not a prude, she documents the long journey for her personally and professionally to get from where she was to where she is now.  What was your upbringing like and how did you get into making your own adult content?

Maitland Ward from her “Boy Meets World” days.

Maitland Ward Cute Ginger

Maitland Ward getting off to mysexlifewithlola.com

Inspirational Maitland Ward

Maitland Ward in Blacked ‘Unprofessional’ (Photo 004)

S.A. –  I was raised in a Catholic household that didn’t really talk about sex or educate me on sex and sexuality.  My father was verbally abusive and, as such, I no longer have a relationship with him and sadly my mother passed suddenly over a decade ago now.  I barely even kissed a boy before I was 17, but once I did the floodgates were turned loose and I lost my virginity on the cliche prom night.  From there, I experimented with a lot of different guys and by the time I met my husband I was already well into double digit numbers.  On our first night together we both said we were the best each other ever had and we were soon married after that.  It was not long after our marriage that my hubby said that I was so good he had to share me with his friends.  While I was reluctant at first, eventually I did start having sex with him and his friends at parties.  After several years of experimenting with the “lifestyle,” hubby started filming me with other men (with their permission of course).  We showed it to some people and they liked it, so we shared it on social media and before long Amature Pornstar Hotwife Sara Anne was born!

Sara Anne

LOLA – One reason Maitland Ward reminded me of you was because she talks about how, when first getting started, her husband was the camera man.  Question for you, Hubby: Did you frequently fantasize about Sara Anne being with other men (and women), or how did that come about?  Does it turn you on now to see her with other people making porn?

Dirty Girl Sara Anne gets clean.

Hubby – I did!  From the first time I was with her, I thought she was so good that I couldn’t keep her all to myself and I wanted to share her with my friends.  I also knew her “number” and knew that even though she swore she could be “faithful” I would never have wanted that for her.  Why would I take away something from her that she has enjoyed doing so much and was so good at?  I’ve always said, Sara’s men are like going to an amusement park.  She has a favorite ride (me), but she still wants to ride all of the other rides and why would I ever deprive someone I love so deeply of that.  In turn, she has remained “faithful” to me for nearly 20 years now.  We are one of the closest couples you will ever meet and we are definitely each other’s forever.  I still fantasize about her with other men and the only porn I ever watch are her films.  I truly enjoy watching her work her craft and getting it on film for the rest of the world to enjoy as well.  Someday I hope that managing her career and filming her will be my only job.

Taking it hard, Sara Anne

LOLA – Would you, Hubby, ever consider being in a film or photos with Sara Anne?

Hubby –  If you have a keen eye, you can find parts of me in many of her films.  However, for now, my face cannot be shown for business related reasons.  Someday though, I’ll make my first full appearance!

LOLA – I heard on the interview with “After Hours” that one of your “friends” found out about the porn and then outed you.  Can you describe what that was like?

S.A. –  Extremely stressful at first.  We had to do damage control when we first found out that our “friends” were telling all of our other friends about it.  Long story short, ultimately all of our friends told us that they kind of suspected all along but that we had never made them uncomfortable in any way and that they knew we were good people and that it really didn’t change anything about our relationship with them.  We actually did not end up losing a single friend over it and now it’s fun to listen to them ask questions and joke with us about it.

LOLA – You said in that interview that one of the things you had to do was tell your sons about your new profession.  I think you said one of your sons is 16.  How old are they?  And what was their reaction?

MILF Sara Anne

S.A. –  In attempting to keep my family protected and out of the story as much as possible, I will say one is late teens and the other is mid 20s.  The older was okay with it, but didn’t want to know any more.  The younger had a lot of questions but ultimately is also “cool” with it and now can’t be blindsided by friends finding out and not being prepared with a response.  He has even joked with me a couple of times about it.  It did not change our relationship with our children in the slightest and, in fact, I think they are more open and honest with us now that we have been transparent with them.

LOLA – What do you think of the term “MILF”?  Do you think that your sons’ friends (or their parents) see you that way?

Taking it Doggy Style Sara Anne

S.A. – LOL….  Hubby has always considered me a Mom I Love to Fuck.  I honestly try to stay detached from their friends’ parents because I don’t want one of them recognizing me and making things awkward.  When I do interact with them, I’m usually not as glammed up as  you see me on film or photos so I don’t honestly know if they consider me a MILF or not.

LOLA – What are some of the reactions that you’ve received from friends and family when they found out about your work?

S.A. –  As mentioned before, everyone has been very supportive after asking a million questions.  They have seen how strong our relationship is and how well we get along, so it’s hard to argue that we are doing anything wrong.  It’s been over a year since it all came out and I feel like everything has just gone back to normal. . . other than the occasional joke or question now and then.  We both like that we don’t have to hide it any more.  It’s like a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders.

Hot Wife Sara Anne ready for a hot night

LOLA – Hubby, have your guy friends had any response about what Sara Anne does?  Do they say things to you like, “I wish my wife did that” or “Your wife is so hot!  I saw her in the last video and. . .” ?

Hubby –  Honestly, believe it or not, all of my guy friends have been very nonchalant about it and it rarely comes up.  The plus side is when she or we are trying to pick someone up while we are out, we don’t have to sneak around about it anymore.

Midnight Swim with Sara Anne

LOLA – Any negative or judgmental reactions from friends or family?

S.A. –  Honestly, none.  We had one couple that initially did not want to be friends with us any more, but after about six months they decided they missed us.  Our other friends had told them nothing has changed and they realized they were wrong to react the way they did.  We got together and talked it out and now are back to being good friends again.

LOLA – Ever have a screening at your house for friends and family before the video is released?

S.A. – Never, and I don’t think we would ever try to do that.  Just because they are okay with it doesn’t mean we want to shove it in their face.

LOLA – Do you come out of a session with another man and ever go home and, when having an intimate moment with your hubby, tell him how amazing it was?  What is his reaction?

“Can’t wait to tell hubby about this!” – Sara Anne

S.A. – Oh, one of our rules is that he always wants all the details and I happily oblige him.  I enjoy seeing how much it turns him on to hear me talk about it and when the story is done, both of us love him “reclaiming” me.  Sex is never better than when hubby goes last and I truly don’t feel satisfied until I’ve had him after being with another man.

LOLA – Hubby, do you have a preference to see Sara Anne in a scene with another man, another woman, or with multiple men?

Hotwife Sara Anne Smiling

Hubby –  YES!  LOL.  I just enjoy seeing her have fun and seeing her smile, whatever she is doing, whether it’s sex or riding amusement park rides or singing karaoke, her smile means everything to me.

 

Hot Wife Sara Anne having fun.

LOLA – Sara Anne, who are or were some porn stars you admired or got off to either past or present?

S.A. –  Believe it or not, I don’t watch much porn and never watch my own films.  I enjoy having great sex and getting it on film.  I occasionally will do some light research with hubby for ideas for new material, but in general I prefer to make my own fantasies come true rather than watch other people on film.  We both also prefer to watch it live when we do, which is why we love to attend lifestyle parties and enjoy the show that we get to see.  Live porn is always better than screen porn!

LOLA – Hubby, if you’ve been reading what HH writes about me, and I’m not sure if you have, then you know that one of my kinks is turning on married men who have beautiful wives.  I include you in that category.  Any thoughts about me?

Hubby – I said before, the only porn I ever watch is Sara Anne’s, but that doesn’t mean I don’t read it!  The stories are hot and I think it would be incredible to film you and Sara Anne together.  It would be called MILF and Nymph.

Yes, Hotwife Sara Anne is a Cumtributing member of The Match Book Club!

LOLA – Sara Anne, as you know, in my relationship with HH, I’m allowed to play, but he is not.  I get incredibly jealous.  But for you, if the roles were reversed and Hubby was doing the adult films with other women, how do you think that would make you feel?

S.A. –  In the beginning we were strictly a Hotwife couple and I wouldn’t have dreamed of ever sharing him.  I always felt that he would find something better, but over the years he convinced me that he was never going anywhere no matter what.  Eventually we did change to a full-swap couple, although he still prefers to just sit back and sip some bourbon and enjoy the show I put on for him.  While we have made the transition to full-swap, it’s same room only and I can’t imagine a scenario where I would be fully okay with not being there while he was with another woman.  He has and does let me play with other men by myself and perhaps that is just because he has that much faith in us, but in recent years we pretty much only play together.  It’s about enjoying each other’s pleasures together rather than trying to get something from somewhere else.

LOLA – Sara Anne, what was the most fun you’ve had doing this?

S.A. –  Oh wow!  It would be hard to say exactly, as there have been so many different fun experiences.  The first time I squirted, the first time I got DVP’d, my first gangbang. . . and so many more!

LOLA – Do you do this for the money, the fun, or both?

S.A. –  Well Hubby doesn’t see a dime of my income and lets me spend all of my “porn money” on whatever I want.  Of course I use it to buy gifts for him, but mostly it’s to support my “vanilla hobby” (which I will keep private for now).  So yes, the money is nice, but I did it for fun for almost 13 years before I ever made a dime.  It was due to sheer boredom during the pandemic that I found OnlyFans and started my account in May of 2020.  So yeah, it’s always been about fun, but the extra income is really great too and I want to especially give a shout out to my fans who realize that while this is a lot of fun, it’s a lot of work to also bring my films to life.  So, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU to anyone who has ever donated their hard earned money to enjoying watching me do what I love.  It means the world to me and motivates me to keep going for as long as you want to see me having fun with my clothes off!

Sara Anne sucking cock

LOLA – Best part of this job?

S.A. – Being a happily married woman who still gets to experience the entire world of sex that is out there.  I am a proud SLUT and have always said that word stands for “Sexually Liberated Unlike Them!”

L – Worst part of this job?

S.A. –  Trying to find people who are willing to be on camera with me!

LOLA – Would you say you ooze confidence, that this work has made you more confident, or that you struggle with confidence to get naked and have sex with strangers?

S.A. –  I am definitely not a confident girl and that dates back to my upbringing and early boyfriends.  I was also a late bloomer, so no one ever told me I was attractive until I was in my early 20s.  I’m actually extremely shy when you first meet me and am not good at small talk.  That being said, I think I know that I am really great at sex and I’ve been hearing it my entire life, so I honestly have zero issues meeting someone one minute and have them fucking me silly the next.  When it comes to sex, that is where my confidence lies!

LOLA – Gang bang, glory hole, bukkake goals for a film?

S.A. – I have one gang bang in the books (hopefully you have seen it) and another scheduled tentatively for this summer. I’m not opposed to glory hole or bukkake, but again its finding the guys willing!

LOLA – Any kinks or fetishes that are a real turn-on or turn-off for you?

S.A. – I’ll start with turn-offs: anything to do with anal sex.  I’ve tried with professionals, it’s just not a pleasure zone for me.  My pussy is pretty amazing and allows me to orgasm in multiple ways multiple times.  Even the hint at backdoor play turns me off and will get me out of the mood really quickly.  As for turn-ons and fetishes – Oh please creampie me!  I don’t know what it is, but I love when a guy creampies me and especially a new guy!  Sex isn’t complete until I can feel their cock swell inside me just before their cum explodes in my pussy.  I love the new warm wetness its creates and I always orgasm hard instantly as soon as I feel it and it’s the very best way to finish sex with me.

Do not accidentally go in the wrong hole!

Hubby – My biggest turn on is just seeing her naked.  It’s also great watching her with other men and I also love when she adds a new guy to her list.  We have a running joke that when she’s done and the guy has left or we are on our way home, she gets a big hi-five from me.  I know we are always looking forward to the next one!

LOLA – Do you still masturbate and, if so, to what?

S.A. –  I do, at least a few times a week and honestly it’s more about relaxation for me, so I don’t really masturbate to anything in particular.  If hubby is available, I just ask him to fuck me (which he always does), but if he is not around I have my Battery Operated Boyfriends to keep me company.  If anything, it might just be that I saw a hot guy on TV while I was at home alone and if the time is right, I’ll get myself off!

Hubby – Sara learned a long time ago to never let your man leave the house hungry or horny, so she keep me pretty well drained.  After I found out a few years ago that it turned her on to watch me masturbate, I usually only do it when she is present and, in fact, I can’t remember the last time I did it on my own.

LOLA – Best sex of your life?

S.A. –  Any of the countless times with hubby.  He is and always will be the best because he knows what I like and knows how to hit all the right buttons.

Hubby –  Oh definitely Sara Anne.  You have seen her films and that’s what I get to have sex with regularly!

LOLA – I’m a bit of a size queen myself.  I LOVE an unusually long and thick cock.  What about you?

S.A. –  While I have never backed down from a challenge and have had some massive cocks inside me, I honestly prefer an average 6-to-8 inch guy.  I’m a small girl and I have a very naturally tight, wet pussy, so I can’t work with the big ones as well as I can with one that fits nicely in my “hot pocket,” as hubby calls it.  If you watch my films, I think you can see how much more I am capable of doing with an average guy versus a huge guy.  That doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try them all, but I just enjoy it more with an average sized cock.

LOLA – I also find micropenises fascinating.  Ever been with a guy you just couldn’t even feel?

S.A. –  I have, but just one guy a long time ago.  I’ve been pretty happy to discover that in my triple-digit cock experiences they have all been average to above average.  But there was that one guy. . . I just couldn’t even feel it!  I honestly felt terrible for him, but I did let him finish and he did give me great oral, so while I never tried it again, I can still say I had fun.

LOLA – Favorite movie, novel, or television show?

S.A. –  Movie – Steel Magnolias.  Novels, almost anything Stephen King.  Television show?  Depends on my mood, but either “Friends,” “The Office,” or “Supernatural” are always on in the background in my house.

LOLA – Pornstar crush?

Angela White

S.A. –  Right now, I’d love to work with Johnny Sins!

Johnny Sins, Angela White, and Lola on TV

Hubby –  Besides Sara?  Right now, Angela White!

LOLA – Would you recommend this lifestyle to couples?  Why or why not?

Both – It’s not for everyone, as we have found, but those who figure out how to do it and put the jealous feelings aside will find that it makes their relationship closer than any you will find in the vanilla world because you have to have 100% trust and honesty at all times.  The moment you lose that, this would never work.  The great thing is that if you find lifestyle couples that have been together for a long time they will be the coolest, most down to earth, drama free people you have ever met.  Once again, it’s all about having fun and marriage should never be hard!  There are three things that end a marriage: parenting conflicts, money, and sex.  When you eliminate one of those problems from a relationship, you immediately have it 33% better than other couples!

LOLA – What do you write on your tax return as a profession for this income?

S.A. –  Model.

LOLA – Has it ever happened that you’re out with your girlfriends and you’re like, “Oh, sorry, I have to leave, I’m filming tonight”?

S.A. –  Nope, I never plan for things like that to overlap.  In general, on a film day it’s like game day for me.  I spend my morning getting ready and give 100% to filming.  If they did a great job, I should be exhausted by the end, so we don’t usually plan on doing anything after, although sometimes its shorter than planned so we will go out after on occasion.

LOLA – Do your girlfriends have questions about it?  Do they express interest?

Sara Anne with Grace Stewart

S.A. –  They did have a lot of questions and most of them have watched my films on their own and had even more questions after.  All of them have joked that they need to get into it!

LOLA – Would you ever invite one of them to join you?  Or have you ever?

S.A. –  We decided long ago that we will never mix vanilla friends and lifestyle again.  It has caused too many problems and we do our absolute best to stay drama free!

LOLA – Plans for your future career?

S.A. –  Keep having fun!  I plan to continue making films as much and often as possible until people stop watching.  And I’ll remain in the lifestyle until I get too old to do it.  Then I’ll probably just become a nudist.  LOL.

Sara Anne squeezing out that Cream Pie

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Erica Garza Exposes Herself

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Lola and Erica Garza’s Getting Off

We are incredibly pleased to share with you all Lola’s exclusive interview with the writer and sex-positive advocate, Erica Garza!

In case you don’t know, Erica Garza is the author of a beautiful memoir, published in 2018, about her struggle with shame, sex, and self-pleasure/self-punishment: Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction.  I had heard about it and immediately recognized a soul-sister and got the book.  I read it cover-to-cover in one night – a night punctuated by masturbatory intermissions.  HH found it hidden in the closet (how appropriate) one day and that turned into a little story he wrote about our trip to a wedding.

Other people found our blog through Erica and Erica through our blog.  Erica and I struck up a friendship and recently I interviewed her to find out some of the things that left me panting for more after putting the book down.

Erica Garza and her book, Getting Off

 

L – Your book starts off with the passage: “My favorite porn scene of all time involves two sweaty women, fifty horny men, a warehouse, a harness, a hair dryer, and a taxicab.”  You go on to say, no matter how you imagine these elements interacting, “I bet you still can’t imagine just how revolting the scene actually is.” At the end of the book, you are talking to your boyfriend, soon to be husband (spoiler alert!), and he asks you about your favorite porn.  You realize that to tell him about this “revolting” scene is dangerous.  But telling him was necessary in your journey from sexual shame, guilt, and deception to self-love, acceptance, and honesty.  You realize that your greatest fear is “being exposed.”  Not as in being naked in front of others, even strangers, but being seen, for who you really are, as a compulsive masturbator who gets off to the revolting.  I mention all this because, did you know, that when one does a Google search for “porn, two women, fifty men, warehouse, harness, hair dryer, taxicab,” you pop up as one of the top hits?  (After this interview goes live, mysexlifewithlola will probably be the top hit.)  Seems like your book was an exercise in “exposing yourself.”  How does that make you feel now?

E – You are 100% correct. My book, essays, and interviews are all exercises in exposing myself in the same way as telling my husband about my favorite porn and baring my soul to a room full of addicts at a 12 step meeting. Every time I reveal the things about myself that I used to hate and keep secret, I’m taking the power away from those feelings and transferring that power back to me. Every time I utter a secret aloud and people nod their heads in recognition, I feel less alone, more connected, and more at peace with myself. The things I’m into and the things I’ve done are not so bad, I’ve realized. And that means I’m not so bad either.

L – Your book is dedicated to, “the wankers, the loners, the weirdos, the perverts, the outcasts, the bullied, the flawed, the awkward, the shunned, and the shamed.”  Isn’t that all of us at some point in our lives at least?

The author, Erica Garza

E –Totally. I’ve had a lot of different people connect with my story who come from entirely different backgrounds. I’m a 41-year-old Latina from Los Angeles who was raised in a Catholic household, but I’ve been contacted by readers ranging from 12 to 70, men and women, of all different ethnicities, religions, and income brackets. So many of them had the same story: They grew up thinking sex was bad and they hated themselves for enjoying their sexual proclivities in secret. Like me, they were desperate for self-acceptance but didn’t know how to find it. This desperation usually led to destructive and compulsive behaviors and broken relationships. Had we just been taught that there was nothing wrong with us from the start—would that have changed everything? Would we be happier people? I think yes.

L – Throughout the book you mention how you would often bring yourself to orgasm by thinking about “what a miserable slut I am.”  Can you explain a bit more how this thought got you off?

E – Shame and pleasure are intricately connected for me. When I first masturbated to orgasm in the bathtub at age 12, I distinctly remember how good it felt and yet how bad I felt once it was over. Nobody had ever talked to me about sex except to say it was something dirty and wrong and so I had this heavy feeling I had discovered something I wasn’t supposed to. And I LOVED it, which made me sick and defective. The only solution to these bad feelings was to go after the pleasure again, reinforcing this intoxicating dichotomy. Later, I would seek out porn that gave me this dose of pleasure and shame, typically scenes of degradation. To be turned on, I had to be turned off, disgusted with myself. This then transferred over to my relationships. I wanted men to make me feel used in bed, demeaned, and then discarded afterward.

L – Your book is fascinating because it’s not only a personal coming-of-age story, but it also tracks the development of on-line porn.  You talk about watching porn on VHS with your brother’s girlfriend and sneaking sex chats on-line right in front of your parents, then you chronicle the first porno sites on the internet right up to the proliferation of humiliation, extreme BDSM, and more.  It’s like you grew up with porn and the porn industry grew up with you.  Your book is also unusual as a memoir because it contains a lot of footnotes to studies and research about the effects of porn and women self-reporting about their use of porn.  What is your take on porn’s popularity now and how women in particular use it.  I guess, I’m thinking especially of OnlyFans and the many women during the pandemic who found ways of becoming entrepreneurs (or “entrepornors”).

OF Content Creator StrawberryWine @swtlikestrawber

E – I’m here for it. I find OnlyFans to be a fantastic addition to the porn world because it allows women to be in charge of their own content. Sure, we have many more female porn producers/directors, but I think it’s safe to say it’s still a male dominated industry when it comes to who’s operating the camera. I’m excited to see women taking initiative in making porn as long as they’re not merely perpetuating what they think men want. But I’m even more excited about women as viewers. I’m not sure about how many women are turning to OnlyFans for porn, but it would be fascinating data. If more women talked about what we like and what we want and what we’re willing to pay for, the less shame we’ll feel about our desires.

It’s funny you say I grew up with the porn industry and the porn industry grew up with me. It’s so accurate. And while I’m not anti-porn (unless the porn is made without someone’s consent of course), I do worry about what kids have access to when they’re just starting to explore their sexuality. When I was 12 and first started masturbating and looking at porn, I only had access to softcore scenes on Cinemax. They were so mild and still left a lot of room for my imagination. And when I advanced to watching porn online, scenes took so long to load so I couldn’t get caught up in a binge—endlessly searching for a harder, darker, sexier scene than the last. It was too much effort. Now the internet is at a place where a 12 year old could look up “two women, fifty men, a warehouse, a harness, hair dryer, and a taxicab,” or any other hardcore scene. And this is the new mild. Once they get bored with that, they can instantly search for something harder but they haven’t even discovered sex in real life yet. When they do start to explore with someone, their idea of what sex should look or feel like is likely to be distorted. They’ll probably end up performing; instead of naturally discovering what they like or what feels good, their desires will have been finely curated by whatever they had access to. I think this could be really damaging.

Porn Star Shannon Tweed

Dreaming of Shannon Tweed and Lola Down

L – You mention being enamored of such VHS stars as Shannon Tweed, and lusting for Tommy Lee’s long shlong, Pamela Anderson’s tits, and the power Gwyneth Paltrow’s character of Estella had over Finn in Great Expectations.  Does anyone come to mind today as either a quick fap fave, a girl-crush, or a role model?

Gwyneth Paltrow

E –Besides you, Lola? 😉 I don’t watch porn much these days (which is so weird to say), but when I do I like Megan Salinas who I’m not sure even performs anymore. I think her videos are a few years old. My girl crushes are always evolving though I just finished watching White Lotus so the Italian actress Simona Tabasco (Lucia) comes to mind. I’m also inspired by Paulina Porizkova who is nearly 60 and so hot and comfortable in her skin without looking plastic.

Scene from White Lotus Season II

L – You say, “In all the movies I’d ever watched, men were the ones who made the first move.  Women, it seemed, either played hard to get and were labeled dick-teasing prudes, or they quickly gave in and were called sluts and whores.”  This is the old Freudian dichotomy of Virgin/Whore.  For a long time, it seemed that either/or was the only choice society or culture presented for women.  If you were young, you were either a virgin or a whore.  If you were older, you were either matronly or a whore.  Women could never be both.  What do you think of the movement to reclaim the word “slut” from being a pejorative to a badge of honor?

Megan Salinas

Simona Tabasco

Paulina Porizkova is a dirty girl

Paulina Porizkova wins the solitary mud-wrestling prize

Paulina Porizkova – wash me!

Paulina Porizkova like a fine wine

E –We’re making some progress with more women being open about their sex lives but we still have a long way to go, especially in the U.S. This country is so ridiculously misogynistic. Just scroll through the comments section of any article written about a woman’s love life and the evidence is in plain view.

L – Along those same lines, one thing I’ve encountered, even with my man, HH, is people saying, “Wow, you have the libido of a man.”  Isn’t that also a double-standard?  I mean, men who do or did the things you did are just “guys being guys,” but a woman doing it is somehow labeled with a disorder and many of them feel guilt and shame about it.  But if you were a man, would you feel that sort of shame or guilt?

E –The only solution to this is for more women to speak up. But to speak about what you want and need sexually requires self-awareness. If you’ve been taught that sex is shameful, it’s possible you ended up in a cycle of repression. You don’t even know what you like anymore and if you do, you’re keeping that to yourself. The more honest and comfortable women are about their sexuality, the more we’ll see that men and women are more alike than we think.

L – I love when you talk about the power that Gwyneth Paltrow had over Finn.  Do you think that writing your book was a way of reclaiming your feminine sexual power?

Female Sexual Power

E – Absolutely. When I first suspected I had an addiction to sex and porn, I thought I had to put myself in a box to be “recovered.” I would never watch porn again, I’d go to 12 step meetings, I’d only be in a monogamous relationship. But that quickly started to feel inauthentic. It felt like an extension of my early childhood shame, like I was desperate to stop doing things that felt good. I realized that the driving force of my addiction all along was that shame. That’s when I started to explore how I could be a sexually open-minded, experimental person and not feel bad about it. This entailed not lying to myself and not lying to others, being open in my communication, and ultimately not thriving on destruction. Realizing I could be sexual without shame was an empowering revelation.

L – You talk about the sexy and nude photos and homemade porno movies you made with different boyfriends and the fear you have of those ever resurfacing.  Has that happened?  I mean, after the success and popularity of the book, one of your exes must have heard about it and read about you.  Did any of them come forward, either privately or publicly, with “naughty” goods?

E – Surprisingly, no! And I didn’t even use a pen name. I also expected past lovers to reach out and comment on the book, ESPECIALLY if I wrote explicitly about them! But it never happened. No videos have ever resurfaced (yet!) though I would be curious to see that younger version of myself tbh.

L – You say that your “preferences were changing all the time.  I loved ‘old and young’ clips.  I’d also taken a liking to watching drunken girls get walked around on leashes at parties or get fucked by groups of men while seemingly unconscious.  I’d discovered the category ‘bukkake’ and felt simultaneously disgusted and excited every time I watched multiple men come all over a girl’s face before urging her to lick up the drips that had fallen on the carpet beneath her.  I didn’t consider any of this normal.”  It wouldn’t exist if people didn’t watch it.  I mean, what is normal anyway?

E – Who knows. That line of thinking came from a place of deep shame and self-disgust and judgement. I felt so isolated and broken in this shame and couldn’t imagine anyone else would understand. But, like I said, if more women spoke up about what they liked and what they’re into, the less alone people like me would feel.

L – I love the passage where you combine what you learned meditating with your active imagination.  You say, “Suddenly I was the girl on the shore of that river I’d imagined in meditation.  I watched a boat come by with a skinny blond college girl spread-eagle on its main deck getting fucked by a whole fraternity.  And then another boat where a girl on a leash was held facedown by a man’s boot while another man fucked her from behind.  Each time I came, I returned to my breath.”  When you’re done, you admit to yourself that you’re “out of control.”  For people wondering, how would you characterize unhealthy from healthy masturbatory practices or porn viewing?

Role Models

E –That’s not up to me to say. Each person’s experience is different. For me, feeling incapable of stopping seemed to be a clue. Even when I felt sore or numb. Finding that I’d wasted hours trying to find the perfect clip, especially if it meant neglecting other plans or responsibilities was another. Failing to nurture real relationships or friendships in pursuit of another orgasm also seemed problematic.

L – At one point you talk about a guy you were with and how when you ran out of things to talk about or it got awkward, you reached for “what I’d always reached for to help me with the awkwardness.  I initiated sex whenever I felt things getting weird.  I was tireless with blow jobs, encouraging him to come on my face, begging him to slap me, to fuck me harder, to hurt me, to do whatever he wanted, playing the role of the perfect, pleasing porn girl.”  Do you think that your exposure to hard-core porn led you to believe that this was what men wanted, or was it a thrill and a turn-on to play this role?  I mean, so much in life is role playing, including sex and it can be fun.  And sometimes it can be difficult to disentangle where your own desire ends and trying to meet the desire of someone else begins.  Or maybe there is no clear distinction.

E –I think it’s all about balance. If your fetish is that you’re into degradation, rough sex, humiliation, role play, then why not? You do what feels good, but then at some point you leave the bedroom and life goes on. For me, that degradation leaked out of the bedroom and into real life. I didn’t just expect a guy to make me feel used and demeaned in bed as roleplay, I also expected him to ignore my calls, say abusive things, and lie to me afterward. I did not feel worthy of love and respect, so when someone tried to give those things to me I’d run away and destroy the relationship. But I desperately wanted love and respect. I felt lonely and isolated and the only company I could keep was sexual company. What was friendship? What was intimacy? What was connection? I wanted to know these things but had no idea how.

L – Was there anything that you had originally written for the book that the editor or publisher asked you to remove?

E – The footnotes were originally integrated into the text, but they were found to be distracting. They were almost cut out completely but I really wanted to keep them in. The research proved that what I was going through (and what my reader might be going through) was way more common than most people think. So many of our struggles are universal, yet we feel so alone much of the time. I hoped that the research would show readers they’re not simply “fucked up,” but that there’s likely a scientific explanation behind their feelings and actions.

L – As I mentioned, your memoir is intertwined with the historical development of internet porn.  One of the positive things I see about that development is that a lot of people, especially women, trans folk, and others have been able to connect with communities out there and realize that they’re not alone, not the “the wankers, the loners, the weirdos, the perverts, the outcasts, the bullied, the flawed, the awkward, the shunned, and the shamed” to whom you dedicated the book, but that they are part of humanity in all its beautifully multifarious forms.  HH, because he’s older, frequently tells me that so much of what is normal human activity was totally in the closet when he was younger, especially female masturbation.  One thing that the internet porn might have influenced is the normalization of women pleasuring themselves.  I mean, once upon a time you never saw it, but it’s now part of so many popular shows and movies – Sex & the City, Seinfeld, Weeds, Fleabag, SMILF, New Girl, The Shape of Water, Sex Education, Broad City, just to name a few.  Women are sexual beings.  We can be students, moms, daughters, sisters, wives, bosses, and also get off without going to Hell.  Do you think that girls growing up today are exposed to a healthier view of women’s sexuality than when you grew up?

SMILF with Frankie Shaw Look Carefully and you’ll see what gets Frankie Shaw off.

SMILF

Frankie Shaw asks, “Do you like my poster of Lola Down?”

Frankie Shaw in SMILF in a scene where she gets off to Lola Down

E – Yes, our entertainment has become more inclusive and I love seeing these realistic, multi-dimensional folks be represented. But let’s not forget that Roe v. Wade just got overturned, which has everything to do with female sexuality and bodily autonomy. Sexism still exists because the wage gap still exists, because doctors still gaslight women, because we still haven’t elected a female president…and so forth. These things may seem unrelated to  women masturbating, but the personal is political. It always has been. Female pleasure is powerful and people are afraid of this power. Women and lots of marginalized folks are still socialized to believe our pleasure doesn’t matter. And d this has huge implications. I’m so inspired by pleasure activism, specifically the work by author adrienne maree brown who ways capitalism creates a “false scarcity” of pleasurable experiences for the marginalized. We’re taught that “our health, our votes, our work, our safety, our families, our lives don’t matter – not as much as those of white men.” Simply put, being denied pleasure makes us easier to control. So, yes, I get excited when I see female characters on our TV set pursuing personal pleasure just as male characters always have, but I won’t be satisfied until I see those larger equalities at play in other aspects of our lives.

L – Toward the end of the book, after you met the man who would become your husband, and after you began writing publicly about your struggles and began being honest with him and yourself about your past, you begin to find some balance or at least a temporary truce with your inner demons, for lack of a better description.  If I’m not getting too personal, how much of your past plays a role in your present?  Or, another way of asking that is, do you and your husband enjoy “getting off” to some of your past sexcapades?  Does he find it sexy to hear about, or is it something that you two avoid?

Erica – Take me as I am

E – My husband does not like hearing about my sexual past. Not because he’s judgmental or embarrassed or possessive, it just doesn’t turn him on I guess. I’ve written about us going to a swingers resort where we we explored quite a bit and enjoyed ourselves, but he didn’t like watching me with other men. And I didn’t really watch him either, which is weird because I do sometimes fantasize about him sleeping with other women. I just haven’t felt the need to watch the real thing happen. Sometimes, the fantasy is hotter.

L – In 2015, in an article you wrote for narratively.com, you said, “Masturbating beside my husband while he sleeps is the last secret I’ve kept from him.  Although I’m beginning to fear that it’s actually just the latest secret.  My resistance in telling him only proves how fragile recovery is.  This week it’s masturbation.  But maybe next week it’s back to porn binging.  Or obsessive scrolling through Craigslist personals.  Or lying about my whereabouts.  And so forth.  Abstaining from these habits, when so readily available, without abstaining from sexual pleasure completely, or the shame I’ve long bound to it, is a challenge I face daily.”  Looking back on that now, how have you fared over the past seven years?

E – It has been a rollercoaster of up and downs. Of me (and us) figuring out what we like and what we don’t, what’s right for us and what’s off limits, what feels safe and what feels dangerous or destructive. But I like the process. Humans evolve and so do our sex lives and I’m grateful to be with someone I could be 100% honest with.

L – What is your sexual life like now – I mean, with yourself and with your partner or partners?  In the book you seem open to threesomes and other non-monogamous situations.  Have you found a way that works for you individually and you as a couple?

E – We’re open minded but not in an open relationship. So while we do experiment with others, we only do so as a couple. Honesty is sacred to us. We always have conversations before we do anything with anyone else and then we have conversations after that about what we will or won’t do next time.

L – In some articles you wrote after the book came out, you talk about going to nudist resorts with your husband and having “soft-swaps.”  You also mention “relapsing” after marriage and sneaking off to masturbate to porn – at least until you came home one day and caught him doing the same thing.  Then you lifted the prohibition you had on porn in your relationship and found out something surprising – you two could integrate it into your lives together.  Can you talk about that balance?  I mean, unlike drug and alcohol addiction, you can’t really ever cut sex, sexuality, or sexual fantasy out of your life 100%.  No one is a tee-total reformed sex addict, because we, as human beings, are sexual beings.  How have you and your husband been able to navigate that?

E— Unless you’re joining a convent, you’re going to have to find a way to integrate sex (and maybe porn) back into your life in a healthy way. For me, I know the difference between when I’m watching porn to escape a difficult feeling or watching because I simply want to, because it feels good. It’s a fine line and takes a lot of self awareness but it’s possible.

L – In an article you once wrote about the difficulty of being a porn-addicted feminist.  You said, “You want to stop because the hypocrisy is so intense it makes you nauseous.  You call yourself a feminist, an activist, a conscious citizen, but then you watch women get walked around on leashes and your panties get soaked through. . . [and] you’ll scan over all the gangbangs and golden showers, convinced (or at least hopeful) that your sickness isn’t a sickness, but a natural fascination.”  That was in 2016, three years after Belle Knox, a.k.a. Miriam Weeks, was outed as the Duke University porn star and she defended her decisions as her form of feminism.  Since then many women have made names and careers for themselves in porn – both in front of the camera and behind it – and have promoted ethical porn and feminist porn.  What’s your take on the possibility that porn and feminism are not mutually exclusive?

E – Bodily autonomy and consent is everything. If a woman wants to be a sex worker, she should be allowed to do that. It’s her body. If a woman is coerced into sex work and she feels she has no other choice, that is an entirely different thing.

L – Something I love about the book is your frequent literary references.  In addition to porn, you clearly have an affinity for literature.  Some favorite authors, books, or movies you go back to frequently?

E – I don’t often reread books, but when I do, it’s usually A Moveable Feast because I find Paris and Hemingway both sexy as hell. Otherwise I feast myself on memoirs, biographies, journals, anything confessional and real. Right now I’m reading (and adoring) I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy, who also had some familiar conflicted feelings about sex and love and her body.

L – A little self-indulgent inquiry now.  You reached out to me recently and hinted that you’ve been reading the blog.  Are we – HH and me – a part of your sexual fantasy life or your erotic life with your husband?  Be honest.

E – For now, your blog is a solitary pleasure. I’m not ready to share you yet 😉

“Don’t be. Erica Garza says you’re just a woman with a healthy libido.”

Op-Ed from the Politico-Parody Press

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Breaking News: Sanna Marin, the thirty-six year old, female, Finnish prime minister had fun!

Prime Minister of Finland Sanna Marin

Yes, there is evidence and she has even confessed to it publicly.  At a news conference, she admitted to being “boisterous” with her friends at a party.  Subsequently, a photo of two women, kissing, and revealing their breasts, though covered by a sign that said “Finland,” appeared on the TikTok of Sabina Särkkä, a thirty-three year old “influencer” and friend of the Finnish prime minister.  She was one of the two women engaged in the now infamous kiss/flash, though Sanna Marin was not the unknown second woman.

This appalling, immoral scandal raises serious political questions, not only for Finland, but for us all across the globe.  If women must be politicians and national leaders, where are the respectable, upright, joyless, sexless prime ministers such as Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, and Golda Meir?  They didn’t party.  They didn’t dance.  And they certainly didn’t pose for an official photoshoot in just a pantsuit and jacket, no bra, with a neckline that goes down to the navel!

Do you see cleavage on Sanna Marin?

Ever since the United States Food and Drug Administration approved contraceptive pills, or “the Pill,” in 1960, it would seem that women were given license to enjoy sex without consequences, that is, to be licentious.  Historically, for millennia, that right was the exclusive province of men.  And so, in the face of such unabashed enjoyment by the female sex – that has had many other culture-controverting effects such as women in the workplace, in the armed forces, and even in politics! – it is entirely appropriate to censure Sanna Marin for her public display of enjoyment, even if she was enjoying in private.

Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin visits the Rogue’s Gallery, before a portrait of the author, HH.

Women enjoy dancing, singing, and displaying their breasts has the desultory implication that they may also enjoy sex.  This cannot be!  Such heresy to the patriarchal hierarchy that has existed since the dawn of civilization must be excoriated from our society.  To that end, we are beginning to see the pendulum shift in the other direction.  In America, the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization has put an end to the formerly constitutionally protected right for a woman to obtain an abortion.  There are many new laws that have either been passed or at least proposed to make it illegal to purchase, sell, or mail contraceptives and/or “abortion pills.”  A few states are making it illegal for parents of so-called “transgender” youth to seek gender reassignment surgery and/or for doctors to perform it.  States such as Texas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Utah, and Florida have passed or proposed laws censoring books deemed “sexually explicit,” “obscene materials,” “sensitive materials,” and “pornography.”

To this end, America should reinstate the Comstock Act, criminalizing using the U.S. Postal Service to mail any obscenity, contraceptives, abortifacients, or sex toys and authorizes the postal service to confiscate birth control sold through the mail.  That will teach women that sex is not something to be enjoyed!

Is it really surprising that Sanna Marin has exhibit such behavior?  After all, she is a woman who is the product of divorce and was raised by two women in a loving relationship.  Perhaps it is due to this lesbian influence that Marin was recently spotted at a preview for the scandalous art exhibit, the Rogue’s Gallery, featuring the notorious nymphomaniac and porno-star, Lola Down.  If ever a woman took pleasure, delight, and enjoyment in the act of sex – whether between her and a man, her and many men, her and a woman, her and many women, her and women and men, or with herself (most often) – it is Lola Down.  The whole exhibit should be shut down and confiscated as deplorable depictions of degenerate art!  Most damning of all, Sanna Marin is reputed to have said about the Rogue’s Gallery that it was “stimulating to both mind and body.”

Need I say more?

Prime Minister of Finland visits a preview of the Rogue’s Gallery and admires the paintings and drawings depicting Lola Down

Anti-Lola protester

Pro-Lo supporter of sex for women

The (Not So) Secret Life of Lo the Nympho

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Lo’s kungfu Grip

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuuuuuck!”

That wasn’t Lola firing off those five fucks in a row, that was me.  Lo had just used her left hand, filled with moisturizing cream, to get me off in my pajama bottoms.  This has become an almost nightly routine for us now.  We get into bed – she naked, me in my pajama bottoms – and she says, “Do you want me to milk you Daddy?”

I almost always say yes.

On the rare occasions that I ask her if I can have her, to fuck her, you know, the old-fashioned way of intercourse, she usually just reaches down between my legs and squeezes her cream-filled hand around my hard rod.  I am powerless to protest.  She strokes to climax – always my climax – and then I fall off to sleep in my cum-filled pjs, too spent to change.

This nightly ritual has spurred me to purchase five or six more pajama bottoms in order that I have something to wear the next night.

What Lo does after my dissipated desire allows me to nod off is a mystery.

But recently I have gained a glimpse into that dark, hidden recess.

After hearing from Ginger and her transformation from housewife to hotwife, Lo became curious about the legalized brothels of Nevada.  Apparently, she had been doing internet research on her own late at night.

Fit Ginger Hotwife

Fit Ginger Hotwife

“Daddy,” she said one day over breakfast, “it has been a long time since we went on a vacation.”

“True,” I said, sipping my coffee.  “What do you have in mind?”  I knew she was up to something nefarious.

“Well,” she began, looking off into the middle distance to conjure her vision like a fey dreamer, “in Nevada prostitution is legal.”

“With certain qualifications,” I said, being a cold, hard realist.  Very hard.

Undeterred by my interruption, she continued, “And I’ve looked into it.  They have special vacation, well, uh, sort of sex-tourism packages.”

Lola’s eye is always attracted to a big package.  “I’m confused,” I said.

“Daddy, they issue a special license for tourists to prostitute themselves.”

“No – really?”

She nodded enthusiastically.  Then she looked up at me with those pleading puppy eyes.  “Please, Daddy.”

I’ll spare you all the details, but basically there are a lot of costs involved: licensing, STD testing, room rental, etc.  It seemed to me very much like a day trip on a recreational fishing boat.  There’s the cost of the boat, the fishing license, the taxes, etc.  Built into the cost of the day excursion on the boat are all the hidden costs.  We had to discover all the overhead ourselves for our sex-tourism jaunt.

Once all that was done, we flew to a remote part of Nevada.  Setting up the clientele was easy, given our high-profile web presence.  There was no shortage of johns eager for pay-to-play with Lo.

Other than suggesting the idea and knowing what our special vacation was for, Lo had no other insights into the details.  She wanted it that way.  In order to keep her both figuratively and literally in the dark, I arranged the flight to land at night.  We drove through the veiled desert to the remote, rather dilapidated brothel.  It looked more like a repurposed old motel.  Lo and I found our room and, as she was exhausted, she fell into a deep sleep.

Early the next morning, only a few hours after we had arrived, I woke up to begin preparations for Lo’s stay.  As Lo soundly slept in the buff on the king-sized bed, I collected all her clothes – every last garment.  I put them in my suitcase and simultaneously unpacked the special outfits I had purchased for her, especially for this occasion.  They consisted of thong panties, lace panties, satin bras, elaborate strappy one-piece lingerie, fishnet stockings, and the like.  There was not one item of clothing left in the room that she could possibly wear outside.  She was trapped by her own undergarments, imprisoned by G-strings and sheer mesh fabric.  A fitting metaphor for the Veil of Maya in which we all find ourselves.

I then snuck out of the room with her suitcase.  She had no idea, but I had rented the room adjacent to hers.  The walls were paper thin, allowing me to be a clandestine interloper in her affairs.  About nine that morning I got a text from Lo: “Where are you?”

“I had to go out.  Your first appointment is at noon.  Enjoy.”

“Out?  Where to?”

“Running some errands for your vacation.  His name is Peter.  Call me if you need anything, I will be close by.”

“Daddy, breakfast,” she wrote, complaining.

“It’s being delivered.”

I had arranged for everything.  The room service arrived, finding Lola naked in the hotel room.  I suppose that sort of thing was not unusual, given the purpose of the establishment.

I returned to my adjacent room around ten after getting some greasy grits for myself and I heard Lo in her room.  It sounded like she was showering and then masturbating.  Then, repeat.  I texted her, “Turn on the TV.”

I had arranged that I could cast from my computer to her TV.  I put on one of her favorite shows: Playboy’s “Swing.”

“Oh, Daddy!” she texted back.

I could hear the muted sounds of the TV from her room.

Around noon her first customer, I mean john, that is to say, Peter came.

And boy did he cum!

I heard muted voices.  Then I heard Lo saying, “Fill me!  Fuck me!  Stretch me!  Cum in me!”  That last bit was screamed so that it was exquisitely distinct through the wall.

I heard her repeating at the top of her lungs, as if an incantation or mantra: “I love cock!  I love cock!  I love cock!  I love cock!!!”

There were a few moments of quiet and then I heard the door close.  A few moments later Lo texted me, “First done and gone.”

“How was it.”

“Well, it’s only 12:20, so, I’d say pretty quick.  When’s my next appointment?”

“Not until 1:00.”

“Can you come here, Daddy?”

“No, Lo.  I’m out.  Running errands.”

She sent a sad-face emoji.

I heard her fire up her Hitachi Magic Wand (which I had strategically left for her to find).

Screams.  Silence.  Screams.

A knock at the door.

John #2.

This time there was a lot of talk, but no climax.  No yelling or screaming.

At exactly two o’clock I heard the door close.

“Two down,” texted Lo.

“How was it?”

“He just wanted me to stroke his cock while I looked into his eyes and talked to him.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Anything that came to mind.  He just wanted me to talk.  I tried to make sexy talk, but he preferred that I just say anything.  I basically told him the history of Elizabethan Theater and the history of Shakespeare plays.  That made him very hard and horny.”

“You’re kidding,” I texted back.

“Gotta go!  Next customer.”

I heard the knock at the door even before she texted me.

This time she was loud and proud.

After a little less than an hour, I heard the door close.

“So many kinks,” she texted.

“What do you mean?”

“This one just wanted me to masturbate the entire time.  You have no idea how tingly my pussy lips are.  I had the Hitachi – thanks Daddy! – on my cunt for almost an hour!”

There was another knock at the door.

“Don’t I get a lunch break?!” she texted.

“No rest for the randy,” I texted back.

This time I heard what sounded like her being thrown against the wall in a rhythmic pattern.  I was worried.  I watched my phone like a hawk.  I thought the two of them were going to pound right through the thin wall into my room.

After about twenty or thirty minutes of the constant banging, I heard nothing at all.

Ten minutes later I heard a man’s voice yelling, “Whore!  Cunt!  Fucking Slut!”

A few minutes later I heard the distinct purr of Lola.

Then the door shut again.

“Are you ok?” I texted her immediately.  I was so concerned.

“Divine,” she wrote back.

“Please explain,” I responded, dryly.

“He was rough and violent and he said so many derogatory things to me. . .  I loved it!”

“Really?”

There was another knock at the door.

This time, after a while of no sounds, or at least none that I could hear, I detected Lo’s quiet voice saying, “I love you.  I love you.  I love you.”

Then it stopped.

At ten to five, I got a text: “I’m starving, Daddy.”

I was too enraged and jealous – yes, jealous! – to respond.

At five sharp, there was another knock at the door.

This time I heard nearly nothing except the loud groan of a man’s voice.

At five-thirty the door shut.

“Well, at least I got a snack,” texted Lo.

“Ready for dinner?” I asked.

“I’m always ready, and hungry, and horny.”

I knocked at her door, even though I had the key.  I was curious as to her reaction and I also thought it would be an ironic joke.

She answered the door the way I imagine she answered it for all the six other guys who had preceded me: wearing a black negligée that barely covered her ass and pussy.  Nothing else.  Her tits were practically falling out of it.

Lo, Dressed for Success

“You’re a welcome surprise,” she said.  “I actually thought you had booked me straight through to midnight!”

“Would you like that?”

“I’m a hard worker and I work best when my customers are hard.”

“Well, good news – you and I are going to grab dinner together.”

“First, where?  Second, I have no clothes, remember?”

I handed her a sleek black dress.  She had panties and bras and high heels in the room already.

She put on the heels, not the bra or panties.  She looked dressed more as if in a negligée than a party dress.  Her nipples were visible through the thin, shiny material.

She looked good – dirty, dissolute, disheveled, devilish, and desirable.

“Don’t you want me, Daddy?” she asked as she hiked up her dress and spread her pussy lips to show me the cum dripping out.   Whose cum?  Could have been anyone’s.

“Later, Lo,” I said.  “We’ve got reservations.”  I almost chuckled to myself as I said it.

“Really?!” she asked, excited as if we were still in our metropolis and able to pick from a few hundred eating establishments.

We walked out into the cool, dry Nevada night.

“No car?” she asked as we walked in the dirt across the parking lot.

“Here we are,” I said after about fifty feet, when we got to the door of the dive bar and restaurant across from the brothel.

“Here?!” she moped.

“Lo, there ain’t another Michelin rated restaurant for at least a hundred miles from here.”

“I don’t need Michelin rated, but I do need edible.”

“Relax, this place is fine.”

“We walked in like two invitees to the Emmy’s, only to find a juke box greeted us, followed by a long, worn wooden bar, and tables with plastic picnic-table cloths covering them, pitchers of Miller Light upon them, and people wearing cowboy hats unironically dancing.

“You’re kidding, right?” she asked as all the male eyes in the place magnetically rested upon her sweet, antipodinal angelic aura.

“Couldn’t be any more serious,” I said as the kind hostess showed us to our picnic-table.

We ordered the less-than-mediocre meal and a pitcher of their finest Miller beer.

“Daddy,” Lo inquired, “do I have a busy day tomorrow?”

“All booked up – ten to six.”

“I don’t know if I can handle it,” she said, almost admitting defeat.

“I believe in you, Lo.  Did you not enjoy today?”

She was quiet for a few seconds.  Pensive.  “I enjoyed it well enough.”

“What’s that mean – ‘well enough’?”

“I was hoping to get fucked like a broken screen door in a hurricane.  But only one guy was like that.  Don’t get me wrong,” she said, her eyes lighting up, “that was wonderful, but the other guys – they were kinda weird, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

The meal came and Lo started eating like she hadn’t seen food in a week, even though the food was far below her standards.

She never completed her thought.

“I have something special planned for you tomorrow,” I said.

Her eyes lit up.  “Tell me!”  She can’t stand a surprise.

“Nope.  You’ll find out tomorrow.”

We finished our meal and ordered another pitcher of beer.  We weren’t driving, so, why not?

After downing two pitchers, we felt oddly attracted to the silly country dancing that we had observed among a few of the regulars.  We joined in.  Lo’s black, strappy heels were a comical contrast to the other women’s cowboy boots.  Lo’s sleek black dress also looked out of place among the other women in their jeans or denim shorts and plaid, button-down shirts.  But the biggest contrast was that the other women were all at least ten years older and heavier than Lo, by far.  They were like ranch hands.  It was clear that they were all married and moms.  Though the brothel shared a parking lot with this restaurant, it seemed as if the other prostitutes all went home to their husbands and families at the end of their shifts, or they went somewhere else, but they certainly were not grabbing dinner here.  I’m not saying any of that in a disparaging way, just pointing out the ways in which Lo stood out like a rosebush among the cacti.

And I wasn’t the only one to notice the difference.  The men in the place looked over their wives’ shoulders as they danced with them, staring at Lo.  The wives, for their part, gave Lo the meanest of looks, judging her and silently despising her.  They knew where she had been all day and where she’d be all night.  These good Christian women, with God, guns, and glory on their side, stood in judgment of Lo’s heretical goddess, gams, and gloryhole.

Perhaps mistakenly, we ordered another pitcher of beer to quench the thirst we developed while dancing.  Soon Lo was dancing in the arms of many of the different men at the bar, letting them feel her nipples over the sheer material of the dress, slide their hands down over the curve of her rear, and partially up her thigh.  I could tell Lo had a long day and was getting too tipsy to tear up the dance floor and so I politely cut in and escorted her back to her room where she had worked the day as an escort.

Samantha Massie reading Match, Cinder & Spark

Country Girls with Samantha Massie

Reverse View of Samantha Massie and friends

Samantha Massie and her besties

Samantha Massie and friends

One more of Samantha Massie’s behind

Back in the room, Lo quickly slipped out of her dress and into a slip, pulled out her Hitachi and her phone and began going at it on the couch as I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth.  By the time I returned to where she had been stimulating her stretched and sore pussy, I found her, motor of the Hitachi still vibrating, her phone still open to the photos she was using to get off – pics of her friend Samantha Massie and her crew of country MILFs.  I had been in the bathroom for maybe three, four minutes max!  But by the time I came to the couch beside the bed – the same bed upon which she had prostituted her body – she was sound asleep with her breasts hanging out of her slip.

Lo, Sleeping with her Best Friend

The next morning I woke up early.  I snuck out with her dress.

“Daddy, where are you?” she texted.

“Errands,” I responded.

“What could you possibly have to do?”

“I guess not you.”

“What?”

“You fell asleep on me last night, leaving me hard up.”

“Sorry.”

“Should I find a prostitute?”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Can you fit me into your busy schedule?”

“I’m very flexible – I could probably fit you and a couple more guys in.”

There was a knock at the door.

“Time to find out how much more of this I can take.  Where’s my breakfast?”

“It should be there any minute now.”

“Well, my john is here now.”

There was another knock at the door.

“Oh, never mind.  Breakfast arrived,” she texted.

About twenty minutes and a few howls later, I heard the door close.

“How’s breakfast?” I asked.

“He fucked me as I ate it.  He said it was a real turn-on for him.”

“Full, or still hungry?” I texted back.

“I can always take a little more,” she wrote.

I heard the bath running.

I heard a knock at the door.

I heard Lo open it and talk to the customer.

About twenty minutes later I received a text.  “He jacked off to me as I took a bath.  That was easy!”

There was another knock.

Lo texted, “Daddy, they’re arriving every half hour.”

“That’s your surprise.  Today is economy class.  They only paid for thirty minutes.  Later they will be arriving every fifteen minutes.”

“What?!”  She included a number of emojis to demonstrate her displeasure with that.

There were three more visitors to her room before lunch.

“Will you join me for lunch?” she texted.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

I knocked at the door.  She opened it wearing only a transparent and skimpy negligée through which I could see everything.

Lo, Falling Out

“You said you could fit me in.”

“That was before you told me my schedule.  I’m full up.”

“I hope not.  You have ten more appointments today.”

“Ten?!”

I finally walked in the door.  Lunch was delivered.  A sandwich, fries, and a lemonade.  I watched her eat as I observed the room.  It was a mess.  The bed was a mess and looked well-used.  Various undergarments were strewn around the room.  Used condoms were hanging over the side of the trashcan and were in it as well.

“How’s work?” I inquired.

She spread her legs for me to see the commingled cum of various men dribble out of her.

“It’s a complicated business,” she said in between bites, “a lotta ins, a lotta outs.  You know.”

“I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“Everything tastes like cum,” she said as she put down her sandwich and took a sip of her drink.

“Your favorite flavor.”

“Do I have cum in my hair?” she asked.

I looked.  “A little.”

“The last guy was all about cumming on my face.”

“Bad aim?”

“No.  For the most part, he hit the target.”

“Any other standout performances?”

“One of the guys, I forget which one, wanted to use my ass.”

She knows exactly how jealous that makes me.

“Did you let him.”

“He paid for hit, didn’t he?”

“I suppose.”

“He went ass-pussy, ass-pussy, ass-pussy, ass-mouth.”

“Covered all the bases.”

“Then he repeated it.”

“All in a half-hour’s time?”

“He made the rounds quickly.”

“Where did he finally arrive?”

“Ass, then mouth.”

“Well, you’ll have to speed up the spin cycle because all the rest of today’s engagements are only a quarter-hour.”

“Don’t you worry.  Just as I can make you cum in under five minutes, I will give each of them their money’s worth.”

“Your talent never ceases to amaze me!”

I left and returned to my post.  As I was outside, I saw the next customer pull up.  A middle-aged man with a wedding band on his left ring finger.

I slipped in the door to my hotel room as he knocked on Lola’s door.

Soon I could hear him knocking on Lola’s back door too!

He was gone quickly.

A new customer came in and exited in under fifteen minutes.  Lola texted me, “I had to pee when the last one arrived.  I told him so.  He asked to watch.  He stroked it as I was on the toilet and then came on my face as I continued sitting, fingering my clit in front of him.  It was hot!”

Cleanup

Ready!

Another customer.  Lo texted me after that this one had a foot fetish and came on her toes.

There were many more before her last appointment for the night.  The last one had paid for two hours and had a very particular fetish.  It was a husband and wife and they wanted Lo to dress up as a bride in white lingerie: mesh lace pushup bra, matching thong panties, harness suspender belt connected to white garters and of course a tiara with flowing lace veil.  I had packed all this for Lola with a note on it that said, “Finale.”  Now she understood what I meant by that.

They were into roleplay.  The husband and wife team told Lo that the scenario is that they are her parents on her wedding night and they are going to teach her how it’s done.

“You want to be sexy for your groom,” she said to Lo.

“OK, Mom, tell me how,” replied Lo.

“I’ll show you instead,” she said as she got naked and bent over the bed.  “Put your ass in the air like this.”

Lo stood next to her as if her magic mirror.  Gazing into the looking glass, the older woman beheld the younger.

Her husband approached her from behind and mounted her.

“Make sure you’re good and wet,” she instructed.

“Oh, Mom, I’m always wet.”

“He’ll enter you like so,” she said as she moaned.

“Is he big?” asked Lo.

“Try for yourself,” she said.

“Lola, spread your pussy for me,” he said to her.

Lola did as told, very dutifully.

He entered her.

“That’s it, honey,” said her ersatz mother as she grabbed Lo’s ass cheeks and spread them for her husband to penetrate her.  Then she got in front of Lo and began smacking at Lo’s tits as they hung down and undulated forward with each thrust from behind.

“Mom,” said Lo, “that hurts!”

“Does it?” she asked, pausing from pawing Lo’s breasts.

“I didn’t say stop,” said Lo.

The wife resumed slapping Lo’s tits, gently at first but gradually with more force as her husband also grew more forceful from behind.

“I think you have done this before,” said the wife.

“Once or twice.  Why?  Am I good at it?”

“So good,” said the husband.

“Are you going to cum?” asked his wife.

“Fuck, yes!  I am.”

“Cum on my tits!” said his wife.  “And let me taste you after,” she added, opening her mouth wide.

He pulled out of Lo and came right on his wife’s breasts as she held them together tightly.  Then he put his cock in her mouth for her to taste Lo’s juices.

“Lick me clean,” she instructed Lo.

Lo didn’t need to be told twice.

“That’s it.  You’ll make a good wife to your groom.  But, darling, I’m going to have to instruct him how to properly fuck you.  You don’t mind, do you?” asked the older woman.

“No, Mom.  He’s been hoping to be schooled by you.”

“Good.  I hope he’s longer and thicker than your father over there,” she said, nodding at the sated man in the chair.

“He is, by far!”

The couple eventually cleaned up and left, each of them kissing Lo goodbye first.

I then returned to my love and got the full story from her as she made passionate love to me, calling out numerous times, “Daddy, am I a bad girl?  Am I a slut?  Am I a proper, passionate, pliable little prostitute?”

“Yes, dear,” I said, “you’re a good whore, but more than anything else, you’re my whore.”

She liked that.  She liked that very much.

On the plane home, Lo turned to me and whispered, “Thank you Daddy, that was the most wonderful birthday present ever.”

“Birthday present? – it was your Valentine’s Day gift.”

“So I still have a birthday present coming to me?”

“You sure do!”

Her eyes lit up.  “When we get back?”

“If you’re a good girl,” I said, patronizingly.

She held my hand.  There was a silence during which I knew exactly what she was thinking.

Three, two. . .

“What is it?” she asked, right on queue.

“That would spoil the surprise.”

“But Daddy, I can’t wait.  Give me a hint.”

“No hints.”

She looked disappointed and then put her finger to her lips and furrowing her brow as if she were in deep thought.

“Now Lola,” I said, “if you do that, you’ll give yourself wrinkles prematurely.”

She looked at me, surprised.

“Do you think I’m getting wrinkles?” she asked in a panic, putting her hands to her forehead to smooth her skin.

“No,” I laughed, “no I don’t.”

“When do you think I’ll get wrinkles?  Do you think I’ll go grey?  You think my boobs will sag?”

“You realize, Lo, you’re ageist.”

“Ageist?  Me?  Impossible.  I’m dating you and you’re ancient!”

“You see.  There you go again.”

“Oh, come on,” she said.

“Well, thank God you don’t age.”

“No, I don’t, do I?”

“Not a day over twenty-four.”

“But I will be soon,” she said with fright.

“No you won’t.”

“What?”

“How old were you last year?” I asked.

“Twenty-four,” she said as if it were an obvious question.

“And how old did you turn the year before that?”

“Twenty-three.  Duh.”

“Nope.”

“What?”

“You turned twenty-four.”

“I think you failed math.  Twenty-three comes before twenty-four.”

“How old will you turn this year?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Nope.”

“We are in a plane, but are you high?  How ‘nope’?”

“Because, my dear, I am the author of this here story.  You have been twenty-four since we started this account of our sex lives together.”

She looked at me like I was crazy.

“OK,” I said, “how old am I?”

“That’s easy,” she said, looking a little nervous.

“Then tell me.”

“You’re fifty-something.”

“Fifty what?”

“Fifty-er-uh-something.”

“I had a birthday last year.  Remember?”

“Of course I do!  I got you a private stripper.  Do you remember?”

“Yes,” I said, dreamily.

She teasingly punched me, “Hey, I’m over here,” she said.

“And how old did I turn last year?”

“Fifty. . . one?”

“Nope.”

“Two?”

“Nope.”
“How old?”

“Fifty-something, exactly.”

“That’s silly.”

“I have always been fifty-something and you have always been twenty-four.  I will always be fifty-something and you will forever remain twenty-four.”

“Forever?”
I nodded affirmatively.  “Forever.”

She thought about it for a while before finally asking, “But I still get a birthday present?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Then I’m ok with that.”

Lo Exhausted