Abstract

I was sitting up in bed, my glasses on, reading silently.

Abstract painting

She was next to me, naked, legs spread, knees up in the air.  Her position reminded me of a frog stuck on its back, its vulnerable underbelly exposed.  Not a flattering juxtaposition, but that’s what went through my mind as I looked at her, caressing her spread, dewy pussy with her right hand, her left squeezing her left breast and then her right.  She was clearly trying to give herself the love and attention she wasn’t receiving from me.  Filling her pussy with her three fingers, pinching and pulling her nipples, rubbing her hand over her tum, licking her fingers.  Moaning.

“Don’t you ever tire of reading?” she finally asked, pouting.

“Don’t you ever tire of fucking yourself silly?” I retorted.

“Say what you will, I am a damn good fuck.  Better than most.”

“Present company excluded,” I added.

“I wouldn’t say that necessarily.”

She was trying to get my ire up, or something up.

“What are you reading, anyhow?” she asked out of frustration.

“An abstract.”

“What?”

“An abstract.”

“Is that the title of the book?”

“No, but that would make a good title,” I said, pulling out my little notebook and writing the thought down.

nude

“Oh no, now you’re reading and writing!”

“An abstract is a summary of the contents of a book, a paper, a dissertation.”

“Then why don’t they call it a summary?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t make the rules.”

“Well, is that abstract so good that you wouldn’t have the full-color, complete package, right here in-the-flesh?”

“Darling. . .”

“You prefer the abstract over the real?”

“I. . .”

“Philosophers should come with a warning label!”

“And what, prey tell, would that warning be?”

“WARNING: Prefers to contemplate own navel over contemplating your anus!”

“You want me to contemplate your anus?”

Lo minimalism

“No, never mind.  I can do it myself,” she said, putting her knees behind her head and curving her torso forward while simultaneously grabbing her butt cheeks with her hands and pushing her ass toward her face.

“Nice parlor trick,” I said.  “You’ve been doing yoga while I’m at work?”

“No, I’ve been contemplating my anus.”

“And what have you discovered with all that contemplation?”

“That it is eminently fuckable and sublimely beautiful.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“May I fuck it?”

“Do you want it for real, or merely abstractly?”

“You know, there’s a branch of mathematics that is strictly theoretical.”

“Is there?”

“Yes.”

“So, what’s that have to do with my ass?”

Contemplation of the Anus

“I’m merely pointing out that even something as grounded and concrete as math can exist on a fictional plane.  People think that there is nothing more basic than one-plus-one equals two, that these numbers are based in empirical facts like stones or sticks.  But even the number one and the number two are abstractions.”

“I’m interested in making one and one equal one.”

It took me a while to understand her mathematical metaphor.

She was still twisted in her pretzel shape.

“Can you lick it?” I asked.

“I’m working on it since at this rate, it’s the only cunnilingus I’m going to get.”

“You remind me of the ouroboros now.”

“What is that?”

“It is the image of a snake eating its own tail.  It became the symbol for infinity because it never ends.”

“Appropriately symbolic, for you never stop talking and start fucking.”

“And your desire is infinite.”

“Everyone’s desire is infinite.”

“I’m afraid you are generalizing from the specific.  Quite the no-no in logic.”

“Do you want my ass, or don’t you?” she asked impatiently.

“If you’re offering it, then sure I do!”

She released from the yoganidrasana pose.  “Well, you’ll have to use your imagination because that’s something you’re only going to experience on a fictional plane.”

“But. . .”

“Imagine it vividly and then you can write all about it.”

“But Lo, you know that I’m not a fiction writer.  Our readers expect accounts of my sex life with Lola!”

“What sex life?  It’s more like Lola’s sex life with Lola as H.H. exists on the astral plane.”

“Have you ever had sex in the astral plane?”

“No, I’ve had cocks in my ass and it felt divine.  And I’ve had sex on a plane (with myself).  Maybe one day I’ll have anal sex on a plane and be transported to that heavenly realm again.”

“The astral plane?”

“No, the anal orgasm.”

“I’ll take you there.”

“To hell you will.  I want you in my cunt.”

“Why won’t you give me your ass?”

“Because you simply don’t deserve it.  Make me cum in my cunt and then we’ll see if you graduate to the advanced class.  If you can get it up for one, you can get it up for the other.”

“Isn’t it more like, if you can get it up for two?”

“You know what I mean.  Do you want to spend our time in bed discussing nomenclature and numbers, or do you want to ram your cock hard in my cunt?”

“You wax poetic when you’re horny, you know that?”

She was done with language and she reached down to grab my member.  I was very hard by this point.

“Looks like you are ready to give me what I want.  I know how to excite you.”

“Your intellectual conversation of theoretical planes of existence was a real turn-on.”

“I bet it was, now get behind me and show me how deeply you love me.”

She rolled onto her tum and put her ass in the air.   I mounted her from behind and pulled her hair.  She instantly gushed like an overripe fruit, sensitive to the touch.

“Yeah, Daddio, that’s it.”

I delved deep inside her.  I could feel the tip of my rod touching the target, tantalizing and teasing that tender tuft of nerves that turns on the tap, unleashing a torrent.

Within mere seconds, she was flooding the bed with her happiness.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” she repeated again and again, grasping the sheets and holding on for dear life.

I don’t mean to give myself much credit for any special sexual talent.  It really wasn’t very difficult.  She was primed and ready before I even penetrated her.  The time it took to bring her to climax was approximately half the time of our conversation about it.

When she had recovered her senses, she looked over at me and smiled.

I picked up my book again and said, “I’m glad I could please you darling.  Had I known it would only be a matter of a moment, I wouldn’t have protested so much.”

She simply said, “It was the talk about abstractions that turned me on.  You know I’m a sapiosexual.”

“Indeed,” I replied.

“What’s the abstract about, anyhow?”

“Abstract art.”

“Of course it is.”

The End

Sticky Fingers

Work on Top, Party on Bottom

“MmmmmHmmmm. . .  Yeah. . . That’s right.  Yesssss.”

These are the words I heard Lo saying as I walked in the door for lunch.  I turned the corner and entered the living room where I saw Lo at her makeshift home office desk in front of the open window that looks out onto the street from our apartment.  She was business on top, naked on bottom.  Her legs were spread.  She had a small oscillating personal fan on the floor under her desk blowing on her bare mons Veneris.  She held her phone with her left hand and was stroking her air-cooled puss with her right.  There was a small puddle on the hard wood floor beneath her task chair.

She looked over her shoulder at me and interrupted her self-pleasure just long enough to communicate to me in primitive sign language that the computer screen in front of her, on her desk, was on for a Zoom call with work.  She covered up the speaker of her phone and whispered, “It’s on mute.”

“You sure about that?” I asked.

She gave me the finger before going back to finger herself.

“MmmmmHmmmm.  Yeah, I’m here.  Yeah.  Tell me again what you are doing.”

I walked away from the sight and left her to her own coping strategy for remote work.

I was on a mission: Lunch.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed some bread, lettuce, tomato, and. . .

“FUUUUUKKK!”

I dropped everything.  Startled for a moment that Lo fell off her chair or that she lost all her work on her computer, I stopped cold in my tracks.  Then I quickly recalled what she was up to in the living room.

I walked in to find Lo in the same spot, larger puddle under chair, phone hung up, and her panting.

I looked out the windows onto the street and there definitely were people looking into the building trying to ascertain the source of the alarming scream.

“Lo,” I began to rebuke her.

“Get me a paper towel, a mop, something!”

I returned with a whole roll of paper towels.

“Can you clean it up?” she asked.

“What?”

“Can you clean it up?  Just stay out of sight of the camera.  I’m still on this Zoom call for work.”

“Multitasking?”

“Yeah, I’m very talented.”

I surreptitiously got on my hands and knees and cleaned up the mess under her chair.

“This is all from you?” I asked, incredulous.

“Well, I started with an ice cube on my puss, then in my puss.  But it melted.  The rest, yeah.  An artesian spring.”

“Maybe we should bottle that stuff. We could make more money than San Pellegrino.”

“Shhhh, I have to unmute.”

She clicked a button and then said, “Yes,” in a very professional voice – so different than the voice she was using with her paramour.  “I think that sounds good,” she said to some pixilated person in the ether.

I took the wet towels and left Lo to her work.

As I sat eating my sandwich and drinking a cold beverage, Lo sauntered into the room, still pantless.

“Thanks Daddio,” she said, sitting across from me.

I grunted and continued to chew.

She could tell I was displeased with what I found.  She tried to explain it away.  “It’s just so hot in here.  I don’t have central air like you at your office.  I had to improvise.  The fan and the ice cube helped.”

“And your phone-a-friend?”

“Well, that Zoom call was just so long and boring!”

“It’s called ‘work,’ Lo.  Not every moment of every day is filled with magic pixie dust and populated with penises for your own personal pleasure party.”

“Oh, but why not?” she asked in her little girl voice.

“Who was on the call?”

“Who do you think?”

“Robert.”

“Nope.”

“One of the brothers.”

“Nope.”

“Both of the brothers.”

“Wrong again.”

“MILF Meri.”

“Getting warmer.”

“I’m out of guesses and I’m almost out of time and patience.”

“Oh, you’re no fun!  It was Scott.”

“Scott?!  MILF Meri’s husband?”

“One and the same.”

“You called him or he called you?”

“Neither.”

“Someone called somebody.”

“Well, he sent me an email and asked if I could talk.”

“Did you talk or did you listen?”

“A little of both, Daddio.  You wanna know what was said?”

“I know what you’re up to and I’m going to tell you, I have to get back to work.  No hanky-panky.”

“You use the oddest, oldest phrases.”

“I’m odd and old, so I can get away with it.”

“Well, you’re going to have to wait anyhow.  I have to hop on another Zoom call.”

“You going to put on your pants?”

“What’s the matter, don’t you think work on top, party on the bottom is home-office appropriate?”

“Is this call for work, or are you sex-camming with an admirer?”

“I told you, I don’t do that anymore.”

“Well, the times, they are a changing.”

“Would you like it if I went back to it?”

“I’ve told you, Lo, you’re free to do whom or what you want whenever you want.”

“I know, Daddio, but I like to hear you say you want me to.”

“Would you do it?” I asked.

“Oh, gotta dash!” she said, returning to her makeshift desk.

She sat back down and I let myself out of the house to return to work without interrupting her work or pleasure call.

I wasn’t back at the office for more than ten minutes before I got a frantic call from her.  “Daddy, Daddy!”

“What’s the matter Lo?”

“I need you!”

“Is this a mid-day booty call?  Because I just. . .”

“No,” she interrupted, “come home right away!”

I returned to the house as quickly as I could and I found Lo on the living room couch, her panties around her ankles, her right hand on her pussy.

“Lo,” I said, suspiciously.  “What’s this all about?”

“I’m stuck.”

“What?”

“I’m stuck.”

“How’s that?”

“I accidentally broke the handle off of my favorite teacup and I was trying to fix it with superglue.”

I’m a little teacup

At that moment I noticed the cup and the superglue tube on the coffee table in front of her.

“And?”

“And somehow my index finger got stuck to my clit!”

“Somehow?”

“This is not the time to tease.”

“I’m not teasing.  I just don’t know how that’s possible.”

“It’s very possible.”

“Only if your diddling the bean while engaged in a repair job.  Were you diddling the bean?”

“That’s not the right question now.”

“Seems like a very pertinent question.”

“The question is how I unstick myself.”

“Maybe I should just let you stay stuck.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” she growled, anger in her eyes.

“I might.”

“Grrrrr!”

“I might even invite the neighbors over.  Maybe I’ll charge five dollars admission.  ‘See the nympho who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar!’” I feigned being a circus barker.

“You’re mean and cruel.  I don’t know why I love you.”

“You love me because I’m mean and cruel and I’m the only person on this planet who puts up with your hijinks.”

“What are you going to do about this?” she asked, indicating her sticky situation.

“Let me look up home remedies for girls who superglue their fingers to their clit.”  I pulled out my computer and added, “Or maybe I should post on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and ask the hivemind what they think.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Woudn’t I?”

I Googled it.

“Do you have nail polish remover?”

“Why?”

“It says to soak a cotton ball in nail polish remover and apply to the stuck spot.”

“DON’T YOU DARE apply nail polish remover to my clit!!!”

“No?”

“NO!!!”

“OK.  Let me look up other remedies.”

I continued searching.  “Ah-ha!  You’re in luck!”

“What’s it say?”

“There are two mildly erotic ways we can go about undoing your masturbatory mess.”

“I wasn’t masturbating!”

“Of course you weren’t.”

“What’s it say?”

“We could either soak you in a nice warm bath with some soap.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Or, apply some vegetable oil to the affected area.”

“Hmmmm, that could be fun too!”

“Let’s do a little of both.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Follow me.”

I led her to the bathroom and got her in the empty bath.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed some vegie oil and returned to her, dripping it on her hand and pussy, soaking both.

Then I turned on the warm water and let it fill up the bath.  It only took a few minutes before she was unstuck.  I poured more oil over her pussy and slid my fingers over her clit.

“Is this where you were stuck?”

“Yes Daddy.”

“How’s that feel?”

“Good Daddy.”

I slid in a finger.  Then another.  Then three.  Then four.  Then my thumb as well.  They all slipped right in without resistance.

Lo moaned.

“What were you doing?”

“When, Daddy?”

“When you got so attached to yourself.”

“I did it unconsciously.  I didn’t even know I was touching myself.  I swear.”

She reached down and pushed my hand from the wrist.  In it slipped, a full fist inside her pussy.

“Yeah, Daddy.  That’s it.”

The water was up around her ankles.  She slowly stood up in the bath and bent over, keeping me inside her the whole time.

“Put your other hand in,” she said.

I slowly wedged my left hand in until it was clasped with my right hand inside her pussy.

“Have you ever been double-fisted before?”

“Noooooooo,” she said, cooing.

Her hips were rhythmically rocking forward and back, humping my two hands until she came.  I felt her Kegel muscles clench, but, unlike when my cock is in her, she couldn’t possibly squeeze my hands out with her orgasm.  I waited until she was good and done before I slid them out slowly.

“That was fun,” she said, sitting down in the bath, putting her legs up on the wall, letting the water splash down on her pussy.

“You may go now,” she said dismissively as she let the waterfall bring her to another climax.

I didn’t leave though.  I dropped my pants and did what she always longs for me to do.  I stroked my cock, using the vegetable oil as a lubricant.   I stroked it over her naked body as she let the water run over her clit.

“You know,” I said, “Cleopatra used to bathe in a bath filled by her slaves with semen.”

“You’re so hot,” she said.

“I bet you’d like to have enough men surrounding you, stroking to the sight of your naked body, to fill your bath with their warm, pearly cum.”

“You know me too well, but right now, if you’d give me just enough for a nice facial, I’d be a happy girl.”

I needed no further encouragement.  I provided the beauty cream she requested and she, in turn, reached orgasm #3.

“There’s nothing like learning history while masturbating,” she said.

“I hate to break it to you, but that story of Cleopatra is an urban myth.”

“Really?!”

“Sad, but true.  Its origins are unknown.”

“Hmm,” she said, pensively.

“What?”

“I wonder if two thousand years from now stories about me will make a loving couple orgasm together.”

“If the reports of your contemporaries are any indication, then, yes, it’s very likely.”

“Good.  Maybe they’ll report that you were able to fill up the tub with your semen single handedly just by looking at my face.”

“It sure feels that way.”

“I’m sure it does, to you anyhow.”

Wet

Grist for the Mill

Tanning while reading Match, Cinder & Spark

Strolling through the park on a bright summer’s afternoon.  “What a glorious day,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said lasciviously.

I looked at her eyes and followed her line of sight.  She was watching two sunbathers.

“Lo, what are you thinking about?”

“Nothing, Daddy, I just can’t wait to get home and bang you,” she said while biting her lower lip.

The female sunbather turned over, revealing that she was wearing merely a thong.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, accusatorily.

“Darling, the difference between you and I is that I am an aesthete.”

She rolled her eyes.  “This again?”

“And you are a hedonist.”

“Really?”

“Yes.  Quite so.”

“What makes me a hedonist for looking at the exact same thing you were looking at?”

“I was looking at the entire composition of the sun, the clouds, the green grass, the spatial relations of the various persons and trees upon the sward, the mathematical ratio of the low lying buildings to the rectangular outline of the park’s boundary.  I could go on.”

“I’m sure you could, you pompous ass-thete!”

“While you, my dear,” I continued, ignoring her invective interruption, “were simply thinking about the heat of the sun, the cool of the breeze, the tingling between your legs stimulated by the physical appearance of those two bodies over there, going home, fucking and eating.  That’s what makes you a hedonist and me an aesthete.”

“You are unbearable!”

“Why do you take such offense?”

“Because you’re basically saying that I’m a simpleton with animalistic cravings and you are a cerebral demigod!”

“Darling, but don’t you see – that’s why we’re are made for each other.  You admire that about me and I admire you for your primal desires.  You wish you could be more like me and I wish I could be more like you.  That is the law of attraction.”

“Primal desires?!”

“I don’t mean it in a value-laden sense.  It’s merely descriptive.  As the great philosophers of Utilitarianism – Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill. . .”

“Oh boy, here we go!”

“As the originators of that philosophy of pleasure, Bentham, in contrast to Mill, put no greater weight on the enjoyment derived from eating bonbons than that derived from reading Balzac.”

“If you could shut up for ten minutes, I’d love to eat your sword and fondle your ball sack.”

“Darling, when I said ‘sward’ earlier, it was with an ‘A,’ meaning a green pasture.  And the Balzac to which I just now referred was to the French author Honoré de. . .”

“Please, please give it a rest!”

“All I’m saying is that the utils that you get from. . .”

“The what?”

“Utils.  The unit of measurement of pleasure in Utilitarianism.”

“Oh, back to that are we?”

“The utils that you get from seeing a curvaceous and scantily clad female are no better or worse than the utils I derive from viewing a Kandinsky painting.  I’m much more sympathetic to Bentham’s egalitarian theory than Mill’s hierarchy of pleasures.”

“Really?  You?  Mr. aristocrat himself?”

“If, by ‘aristocrat,’ you mean that I subscribe to a ranking of merit, then guilty as charged.  But one can excel in merit while still deriving pleasure from the simplest of things.”

“You are such an asshole!”

“But if pressed,” I said, again overlooking her impulsive outburst, “I would have to admit that I do not subscribe to Utilitarianism at all.”

“OK, I’ll bite.  What do you subscribe to?”

“I think Nietzsche understood that humans are not such simplistic beings as brute beasts, merely out to diminish pain and increase pleasure.  Observation of any great artist shows that the highest exemplars of the human race make great sacrifices and endure terrible suffering for the sake of art.”

“Oh, and what sacrifices and sufferings have you had to endure?”

“The subheading of our blog is ‘the trials and tribulations of dating a nymphomaniac.’”

I am the source of your suffering?!”

“The source of my art, and thereby, the source of the suffering that I go through for it.”

“What suffering is that?  Having sex with a goddess multiple times a day?”

“No, no, no dear.  It’s the, the, um, creative process.”

“What does that mean?”

“Like this conversation, for instance.  It’s all just grist for the mill.”

“So, conversing with me is a source of suffering for you?”

“No, no.  You take my meaning all wrong.”

“I really don’t see another possible interpretation.”

At this point, we were at our front door.  Just as we arrived, a sun-shower began.

“What a weird season,” said Lo.  “It’s wet like spring, hot like summer, and beautiful like autumn.”

“You just described yourself: wet, hot, and beautiful.”

Lola Down – Wet, Hot, and Beautiful

“What about smart?”

“Lo, you know how I admire your intelligence.”

“Do I?  You just performed an oral dissertation about how I am a hedonist given over to carnal desires.”

“There’s wisdom in that.”

“What does that mean?”

“You are wise beyond words.”

“I know what you’re saying.  You wish I’d shut up and you could simply enjoy my beauty without having to listen to me talk.  You think you’re so smart.”

“No.  I’m just wise beyond your years.”

“I don’t need your stamp of approval.  I know I’m smart,” she said with a grin indicating just how content she was with herself.

“Then why do you get so upset when I talk?”

“Because you say the dumbest things.”

I must have looked mortally wounded by her words because she followed that up with, “I mean that with love.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“The dumbest things for someone so intelligent.  That’s what I meant.”

Once we were inside, I sat down at my computer to transcribe this little conversation of ours.  She was in the bedroom, naked no doubt.  She hollered down the hall for me to join her.

“Can’t you see I’m writing?  Why do you keep distracting me?” I called back.

“You think that life is just writing and that everything else is a distraction.”

I heard the quiet purr of her Hitachi start up, followed by her moans of pleasure.

When I had completed the reporting of our peripatetic discourse, I sauntered down the hall to check on her, following the sounds of her self-copulatory female vocalizations.

Her right hand held the mechanism between her legs as her left held her phone and scrolled through various images.

Lo’s Little Friend

I turned to leave.

“Hey,” she called to me, “where are you going?”

“It seems that you have matters well in hand,” I said.  “You give no indication of needing assistance.”

“For many species, masturbation is the mating call,” she responded.

“Oh, so you want me?”

“If your superior intellect can deign to do me – a mere mortal full of base desires.”

“Like the immaterial Nous infusing the nether pleroma with its animating spirit.”

I had penetrated her as I spoke those words.

“You’re lucky I’m such a sapiosexual, or else I’d take offense at that,” she said, looking up at me.  “But the mere fact that you not only know what those terms mean, but can use them when fucking turns me on.  And, I might add, your emanation is hardly immaterial.”

Within moments she had reached the apogee of her venereal excitement.

I slowly removed my sword from her scabbard and stood over her recovering body.

“What?” she asked.  “You’re not going to cum?”

“That was strictly for your pleasure, my dear,” I said.

“You got nothing from it?” she asked, insulted.

“Your enjoyment gives me satisfaction.  Now, back to my writing.”

“Good grief!  You’re lucky you have me or you’d have nothing to write about except ideas!”

Cum-Covered

Later that day, a friend sent an email asking, “How are you two?”

Lo responded, “We’re doing fine.  HH is writing.  I’m masturbating.  Once in a while he puts down his pen and picks up his penis and gives it to me.  But mostly he gives me his stories to edit.”

I turned to her and said, “You know, my writing makes you immortal.”

“And my body makes you mortal.”

“Are you saying that without your body I’d live forever?”

“No, I’m saying that without my body, you wouldn’t even live once.”

10 Yoga Poses

[We offer here a sneak peek at the article just released in Ethical Non-Monogamy Magazine, September 2020 Issue.  Here is ENM’s editor’s introduction to the story:

Hermann Humbert, writer for www.mysexlifewithlola.com and husband to beautiful hotwife Lola Down has been contributing stories about Lola’s exploits with us for months… this one may be the hottest one yet!!! You can read this story in its entirety right now in our September issue of ENM Magazine on Kindle, or we will publish it as a Patreon exclusive later this month.

Illustrations by H.H.]

Ten Yoga Poses

Dear Reader, you may recall that Roy and Gary are the young, twenty-something brothers from across the street with whom Lo has become acquainted back before COVID-19 shuttered us all in.  She seems to enjoy toying with them the way one might with two adorable puppies.  One day, not long ago, as things began reopening, she amused herself by going on a date with them to do some clothes shopping.

They went to a nearby mall and they followed her as she bounced from store to store trying on skirts, blouses, dresses, and shoes.  She would make them wait close to the dressing room to render an opinion for her.  Unless it was two thumbs up, or rather, four thumbs up and two cocks up, she didn’t make a purchase.  This scratched two itches for Lo: 1) flirting in the flesh and; 2) shopping.

This little tease titillated her and the boys for hours.

She told me all about it, eager to arouse my jealousy, when I got home from work, but she was let down when she realized that I was quite pleased with her excursion because it saved me countless hours of waiting by the dressing room for her to toggle back and forth between her natural impulse to purchase and her attempt to avoid buyer’s remorse.

“I bet you’d like to see me toggling back and forth between Roy’s dick and Gary’s,” she said, latching onto that word which placed the naughty image in her dirty mind.

“If it makes you happy,” I said, appearing aloof and disinterested in her foolish frolics.

She stomped her foot out of frustration and beat her fists on my chest, playfully.

“You will change your tune!” she said.

“My tune?  What will be my tune?”

“I Want You.”

“You do?  I thought you wanted your two boy-toys.”

“No, silly.  I Want You, by the Beatles.  That will be your tune.”

“You know, the subtitle to that song is, ‘She’s so Heavy’”

She flipped me the bird and said, “Of course you would know that.”

“But I think you’re just right.”

“So do the boys,” she added.  “Finally, a package deal: FOBO.”

“What is ‘FOBO’?”
“Fuck one, blow one.”

“I see.  And here I thought you just liked the company while you shopped.”

“I do!” she said enthusiastically.  “And I got this,” she said as she pranced around the room like an exotic dancer on stage.

“What?” I asked, befuddled.

“These,” she said, prancing around some more, her hands on her hips.

“Your hips?”

“No, silly.  These jeans.  They’re $250 jeans, but you’d never guess what I got them for.”

Lola’s New Jeans

“You blew a kiss to the shop clerk.”

“No.  Don’t be daft.”

“You blew the shop clerk.”

“If only.  But he was clearly not into my type.”

“Slutty?”

“I’m offended.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I meant, horny with a young man on each arm.”

“No.  He wasn’t into women at all.”

“I see.”

“Don’t you want to know what I got them for?”

“Who, the two young men?”

“No!  The jeans.”

“Oh, right.  What did you get them for?”

“It doesn’t matter now.  What matters is what I’ll get out of them for.”

“What will you get out of them for?”

“The two brothers.  They’re coming over.”

As she said that, there was a knock at the door.  I answered it and let in Roy and Gary, not knowing who was who.  Once they were in, Lo blurted out, “They say I need some caulk.”

“What?”

“Yeah, a lot of caulk.”

“Really?”

“Yes, to fill all the holes.”

“How’s that?”

“They just stick it in there and out it comes.  Voila!  There might be some overflow, but we can just wipe that up.”

“Sounds like you know what you’re doing.”

“Oh, I’ve handled caulk before.”

“You have?”

“Oh yeah.  Lot’s of times.  I’m practically a pro with caulk.”

“Is that so?”

“Yep.  One hand.  Even two!”

During this whole performance, the boys just stood around and looked on dumbly.

“Where’s the bathroom?” one of them asked.

“Right down the hall there,” I said, pointing to it.

“And the caulk?” asked the other.

“I thought you two brought your own,” I said.

“No, silly,” said Lo.  She then went into our little tool drawer and pulled it out, along with a caulk gun, a box cutter, a sponge and a bucket.”

“Here you go,” she said to the other brother.

“Oh, caulk!” I said, with enthusiasm.  “I thought you were talking about. . . ah, never mind.”

“Yeah, what did you think we were talking about?” asked Lo, as if she hadn’t meant to confuse me all along.

She led the second boy down the hall and showed him the seam where the tub meets the tile and how discolored it had become.

The two boys set to work while Lo went into the adjacent master bedroom and slipped out of her jeans.  She wore only her thong and her blouse.  They were unaware until she called into the bathroom and offered a cool drink.  The boys looked up, dumbfounded.

Lola’s Thong and Blouse

“Uh, sure,” said one of them.

“Two lemonades ok?”

“Fine,” said the other, drawing out the vowel as if talking about Lo and not the lemonade.

Lo turned and went to the kitchen to grab the drinks for the boys.

“Don’t turn up the heat too much,” I said to her.

“Whatever do you mean?” she asked like Scarlett O’Hara from Gone with the Wind.

She turned tail and walked away from me.  I followed just to see what would happen next.

She went into the bathroom and bent over to the kneeling brothers and handed them the drinks.  “Oh, that looks much better!” she said of their job.  Truth be told, it was a hack job by two amateurs.  That didn’t matter to Lola.  That was strictly beside the point.  All the more reason to invite a professional contractor in and give him an encore performance of her Emmy Award winning act.

The boys, clearly distraught at the difficulty of the task and the distraction of Lo, wiped the little sweat from their brows and drank the lemonade.

“Maybe now that you fixed that so quickly, you two could help me with something else,” she said.  I was very curious what she had in mind, as were our two fix-it men.

Lo crawled across the bed, her ass cheeks seductively contorting like a proud lynx prancing before her prey.  She got to the edge, her top half disappeared off the side of the bed, and then reemerged with her Hitachi.  She looked over at the captivated cherubs and said, “I don’t know if the motor blew out or what, but I can’t seem to get it to turn on.”

The boys practically fumbled over each other trying to get to her.  As they did, she cast me a knowing look.  She had just used the masturbatory machine that morning.

One of the boys held it, flipping the switch on and off to no avail as the other inspected the wire.  Both of them stood over Lo’s prostrate body on the bed.  She smiled up at them.

“Did I overdo it?” she asked.  If there was a portmanteau that combined ‘innocently’ with ‘guiltily,’ like the word frenemy, then that would be how she asked that question.  And what a frenemy she was to me just then!

One of the boys flipped a switch on the power cord under the bed and the giant white ball began vibrating ferociously in the other’s hand.

“You did it!” squealed Lo.

“Yeah,” said the one who flipped the switch.  “You must have tripped the circuit breaker on this,” he said, holding up the power cord and showing Lo the emergency shut off button (that I’m sure Lo purposely shut off for just this reason).

“Oh, I see,” she said.  “Thanks!”  She spread her legs wide, indicating where the vibrating ball of the Hitachi should go.

The one holding it eventually got the hint.  He placed it between her legs, over her thong.

“Yeah,” said Lo lustily.

He let it rest there for a while.  Lo rotated her hips to get the vibrations where she wanted them.

“Turn it on hi-power,” she instructed.  He obeyed.  Lo raised her hips and pulled down her bra.  The other brother reached down and began pinching her nipples as Lo cupped her tits with her hands.

“Yeah,” she moaned again, “do that.”  Lo slowly unbuttoned her blouse and then removed it to let him see and touch her breasts.

She looked up at the boys and asked, “You two have been under strict quarantine?”

“Yes,” replied one of them.

“No going out?  No seeing anyone?” asked Lo.

“Yeah,” said the other, “not for the past two or three months.”

“No girlfriends?”

They both laughed a little.  “Even if we had girlfriends, which we don’t, our mom would never let us see them.  Not during this pandemic.”

Lo ran her tongue over her teeth as she looked up, her head very close to their bulging cocks.  “So, you two haven’t been able to. . .”  Before she finished her sentence, she grabbed the Hitachi and manipulated it to flip her switch and, without warning she was convulsing, cursing, and cumming with a wave of wetness flowing over her thong, soaking the bed covers.  All the time, I watched in silence from the doorway.

The two guys gawked at Lo’s percolations.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” she said to the two of them when she caught her breath.

Each of them looked over at me standing in the doorway, smirking just a little at Lo’s mode of flirtation.

She slid out of her soaked panties and asked, “Who’s first?” as she spread her legs wide and smacked her pussy.

One of the boys pulled down his pants and pulled out his cock.  He was large and very hard.

Lo licked her lips at the sight of it.  She turned on her tum.

Anahatasana – Melting Heart Pose

  1. Anahatasana – Melting Heart Pose

She rotated horizontal on the bed and got into the anahatasana, or melting heart pose, protruding her ass over the side of the bed prominently, while her arms were stretched out far in front of her head.

The boy whose pants were down – Roy or Gary? – slid in and Lo showed her appreciation with a long low moan.  As he was sliding in and out of her, his brother dropped his pants around his ankles.  He tapped out his brother and tapped into Lo with enthusiasm.  Lo seemed to enjoy the change of length, girth, and rhythm.  His brother stood next to him spreading Lo’s ass wide apart for his brother’s easy access.

Without warning, Lo’s body involuntarily squeezed him out – the first physiological sign that she’s about to have a violent squirting orgasm.

“You’re going to have to ride that pony better than that if you want to stay in the saddle,” I jibed, knowing full well how difficult it is to avoid slip-sliding out when her trap squeezes shut.

“Let me try,” said the other brother, thinking he’d have the superior technique.  He slid right in after Lo’s sprinkle (which soaked all the clothes on the floor) had subsided.

Bitilasana – Cow Pose

  1. Bitilasana – Cow Pose

Lo propped her torso up on both arms and her back made a concave curve causing her ass to protrude upward.  She used her arms to push backward to meet the boy’s thrusts.  Bang, bang, bang he bounced off of her butt.  Smack, smack, smack she slid down on his rod, her tits flailing forward and back with the rapid back-and-forth of her torso.  I should mention that, unlike in the first position, when she had her head down, facing the bed, now she was looking directly at me as she took the shocks from behind.  Our eyes were locked and she was feeding off of how much delight I took in her sexual prowess.

“Fuck me!” she commanded over her shoulder, as if he wasn’t giving it his all already.  “Come on, can’t you do better than that?”  She was just taunting him now.  I knew very well that she wasn’t used to this sort of rough ride.  The poor young fellow put so much force into it that I was worried he might pull a muscle in his back.

I saw Lo’s fingers curl up and clutch the bed sheets as if she were hanging on vertically to the bed, trying not to fall.  I saw her toes curl and I knew what was about to happen.

Sure enough, she shot contestant #2 right out of her convulsing cunt just as forcefully as she ejected the first one, followed by a torrent of orgasmic flow.

The two brothers watched, amazed at the quantity and velocity of her ejaculation.

Balasana – Child Pose

  1. Balasana – Child Pose

Lo curled up her knees under her and stretched her arms out far in front of her, tucking her head down between her arms as she caught her breath.  The boys were polite enough to give her the time she needed to recuperate.  They stood there, flanking her naked body, like silent sentinels at attention, their spears raised.

“Slide your hand over her soaking snatch,” I instructed them, breaking my silence.

“What?”

“Slide your hand over her soaking snatch,” I repeated.

The kid did what I said.

“Now, use that to rub around her asshole.”

“Daddy,” Lo objected.  She doesn’t like vulgarity to be used about her body.

“Around her special spot,” I corrected myself.

The kid did as he was told.  Lo moaned.

“Slide it in, gently.  Not too quickly.”

This kid needed step-by-step diagrams.

Lo moaned again.

“When she feels loose, insert two fingers.  She likes that.”

“Loose?” Lo asked, looking up at me from the bed.

“Relatively loose,” I corrected.

Uttana Shishosana – Extended Puppy Pose

  1. Uttana Shishosana – Extended Puppy Pose

Lo extended her arms out in front of her and lifted her ass up in the air for the boys to have it closer to their level.  Her knees were still tucked under her torso.  One of the brothers was wiggling his finger in her rear.  He eventually added a second finger.  The other brother held his cock in his hand, gawking awkwardly.

Lo was making small circles with her ass.  She moved one hand and slapped her ass cheek hard.  She did it again.  She looked back over her shoulder, enjoying the view of the brother with his cock in his hand.

Eventually she began to inch backwards, sliding off of the bed.

Uttanasana – Forward Fold Pose

  1. Uttanasana – Forward Fold Pose

Standing, Lo bent over at the hip, deeply plunging her torso down toward the floor as the young fella plunged his two fingers deeply in her ass.

“That’s enough,” said Lo.  “Fuck my ass.”

Both boys looked bewildered at the bounty of benefits they were getting.  The one who had been holding his cock took the lead and slid it right into her accommodating back door.

As he was going at her, Lo put her hands around her ankles and held the pose perfectly.  Though I couldn’t see from my vantage point, I imagine that she was looking up at the action from down below.

Eventually the other brother maneuvered onto the bed and sat in front of Lo.  Lo pulled up her torso out of the folded pose and placed her mouth on the boy’s rigid cock, sucking and slurping.  I was very impressed with the endurance both these youths had.

Malasana – Garland Pose

  1. Malasana – Garland Pose

Lo was very capable of bringing the brother before her to climax, but she was very careful not to.  Instead, she pulled forward, leaving Mr. Backdoor standing firm.  She lifted her lips up off of the cock they had covered with wet caresses, and she climbed up on the bed.

“You,” she said.  I think she was as confused as to who was Gary and who was Roy as I was.  “You, come here,” she commanded like a director on set before a shot.  She placed him flat on the bed, his staff protruding upward.

She straddled him, facing him.  Her hands grabbed her ass cheeks and spread them wide apart as she slowly lowered herself down on his eager erection, penetrating deep into her pussy.  She remained on her feet over him.

“You,” she instructed to the other brother, Mr. Backdoor.  “Get behind me and back in my ass,” she said, still spreading her ass cheeks apart.

He responded rapidly, hopping on the bed and, on his knees, sliding up and in her awaiting hole.

Now she had both brothers inside her.  She extended her hands in front of her to keep her balance and their pistons alternated in-and-out of her like a two-cylinder engine.  She moved her right hand down to her clit and began circling her bean.  Knowing Lola as I do, I knew that this move always preceded —————-

There it is!  Like a whale spout going off, her high pressure pussy precipitated all over the boy beneath her accompanied by her tirade of Tourette’s-like string of profanities.  I think she actually scared both boys.

Ustrasana – Camel Pose

  1. Ustrasana – Camel Pose

The boy behind her slipped out of her ass as Lo was drenching his brother caught between her legs.  Lo, thinking he was on the cusp of cumming himself, turned around rapidly and enveloped his cock with her mouth, taking it deep into her throat.  She could feel how powerfully the pressure was building.  At precisely the right moment, she pulled off his cock, drooped her head back, and grabbed onto her ankles with her hands, displaying her chest prominently for the young man to douse with his abundant display of gratification.

Covered in one brother’s cum, the second brother still lying between her spread legs, Lo leaned forward to lick clean any remnants of the first brother’s ejaculate.  But then she devoted her full attention to the second brother.

Lo turned over, and lay on the boy’s sculpted torso, slathering him in the cum that was on her breasts.  She kissed the brother on the lips, open mouth, and slid, kissing her way down his neck, shoulders, chest, stomach, and right down to his rock-solid passion pillar.

When her mouth had alighted on the object of her desire, she turned to the other brother and said, “Hold it for me.”

“What?” he asked in disbelief.

“Hold his cock for me.”

Having been the beneficiary of Lo’s abundant generosity, he obliged.  He reached out with his right hand and held his brother’s phallus firmly for Lo to lavish attention on it with her labia.

Marjaryasana – Cat Pose

  1. Marjaryasana – Cat Pose

Lo was on her knees, supporting herself with her arms, drooping her head down and lightly licking the tip of the youth’s cock as his brother controlled the large limb with his right hand, circling it around Lo’s lips and slapping it on her cheek, just the way she likes.

Merudandasana – Spinal Column Pose

  1. Merudandasana – Spinal Column Pose

Lo said, “Get up.”  The boy who’s tip she was teasing, looked momentarily stunned.  A questioning look appeared in his eyes.  But, by now he should have known better than to question Lo.  He sat up.  “All the way,” said Lo.

He got up.  Lo took his place, lying flat on her back.  She spread her legs wide, lifting them in the air, and grabbing her toes with her hands.  Her pussy, drenched and glistening, clean shaven, and pink, was spread wide.

“Stand there,” she said, indicating right in front of her, between her legs.

The youth was on his knees, his cock raring to plunge into Lo’s gorgeous glazed open pussy.

“You like what you see?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Are you ready to cum?”

“No.”

“Good.  Fuck me, then,” she said.

He got up and into her.  Her arms and legs enveloped his body.  Her face turned toward me.  “Daddy,” she said as she received rapid thrusts from the youth.

“Yes,” I responded.

“I’m thirsty.”

I disappeared to the kitchen where I got Lo a large glass of ice water.  I returned with it.  The boy was pounding her, oblivious of my movements.  Lo reached out with her left hand and took the water from me.  Her forehead was sweating.  Her hair matted down in front.  She gulped the water as the boy continued his enthusiastic jousts at her cunt.  I could tell that by this point, she wasn’t even feeling him, she was so wet and wide.

After she returned the water to me, she pushed the boy back, interrupting his irreverent attempts to cum inside her.

“Are you about to cum now?” Lo asked as he sat on his haunches in front of her, between her legs.

“I’m close,” he said.

“Grab it,” she instructed, but not to him, to his brother.

He took his brother’s hard cock in his hand.

“Jack him off.  I want him to cum right here,” said Lo, slapping her pussy.

The two went at it, cock-in-hand, as Lo spread her lower lips with her fingers and slid a few deep inside.

“You like seeing me fuck myself?” she asked.

The boys couldn’t answer.  They were mesmerized.

“You like how much of a slut I am?  You like that I fucked you both right here in front of my man?  You like my pussy?  You like my ass?” she asked as she began fingering her special spot for them.

Suddenly, without any warning, the youth ejaculated with more force, volume, and velocity than I had ever seen.  He covered Lo from head to pussy in his cum as his brother encouraged the multiple eruptions of his quaking cock.

“That’s it,” said Lo.  “That’s it.  Cum.  Good boy.  Cum all over me.  Yeah.”

Ananda Balasana – Happy Baby Pose

  1. Ananda Balasana – Happy Baby Pose

When the brother finally completed his composition on Lo’s canvas, he smiled, obviously very pleased with himself.  Lo smiled too and she bent her knees and curled her back a bit, pulling at her toes with her hands.

“Daddy,” she said.

“Yes Lo?”

“May I have my glass dildo please?”

I opened the night table drawer and pulled out “Glindo,” her glass dildo, and handed it to her.

She inserted it slowly in her wet pussy.

“Um,” said one of the boys, “we had better get going.”

“OK,” said Lo as she masturbated.

“This was fun,” said the other boy.

Lo was moaning at this point.

The boys were putting on their soaking wet clothes.

“Just tell your mom that you washed our car,” I said.

“Right,” said one of the boys.

“Bye Lo,” said the other one.

“Bye,” said his brother.  “And thanks!”

Lo was too self-absorbed to respond.

 

“Fuck Me Like a Pornstar”

Lola and H.H.

It’s midday.  Lo’s in the bed, naked.  “Come here, Daddy, and fuck me,” she says.

I get naked and slide into her.  “You’re so wet,” I say.

“I just jilled it.”  As I’m inside her with her legs spread, she says, “You know, all the blinds are open and all the neighbors can see us.”

“Do you want me to shut them?”

“No!” she says, “I was telling you so that you’d fuck me like a pornstar.”

“You are a pornstar.  My pornstar.”

“Not just yours.”

“What did you jill it to?”

“Get behind me and I’ll tell you.”

She gets on all fours, facing the open windows, and I mount her from behind.

Lola in the Window

“That’s it,” she says.  “I jilled it to the thought of yesterday at the beach.”

“Which part?”

“Watching the girls in their thongs.”

Before she can say anymore, the image of her masturbating in the car, her legs up on the dashboard, watching two girls wearing skimpy bikinis splashing about before her as Lo intently faps flashes before my mind.  I pull out and fire a shot that lands squarely between her shoulder blades.  A few more shots follow.

Bikini Girls

“I think you just set a new world’s record – and not in a good way,” she complains over her shoulder.

“Well next time, don’t talk.”

“I hardly had time to say a sentence.  My story certainly hadn’t reached its climax before you did!”

“In my mind, it had.”

“You know the drill,” she says, expecting me to clean her up.

“I just drilled you.”

“To hell you did!”

I grab a warm washcloth from the bathroom and gently caress it over her back as she remains bent over, her tits hanging down, framed by the window. Lo says, “I expected more.  Is that the best you could do?”

“If you predecease me, I am going to see to it that those words are your epitaph.  ‘Lola Down says of life: I expected more.  And for all those who come to visit her tomb, on it will be etched: Is that the best you could do?’”

“Don’t worry, ole man, just like in sex, in life I’ll last a lot longer than you.”

“Any neighbors watching?” I ask.

“I sure hope so.”

As she says that, she sees my cock exhibit a flicker of life.

“Got any more in you?”

“Stay just like that,” I say, returning to the bathroom to put the washcloth in the sink.

I get behind her again and sit on the edge of the bed, stroking my cock to the view, thinking about the neighbors watching her in the window.  She must have read my mind because, as I was coaxing my cock into a repeat performance, she says, “I hope the neighbors are enjoying this.”

Cum-Covered

When I’m rigid enough for reentry, I resume the position.

She moans and says, “Noon is a good time for you, Daddio.”

“Yeah, the caffeine kicks in full-force right about now.”

“Well, you can kick in full-force.  Slam me.  Fuck me like a pornstar.  I’ll put on a good show.”

I give her my all and she begins calling out, right out the open window, “Fuck, fuck!  Yeah, fuck!  Fuck me.  Harder.  Fuck me.”

I can hear the women who live upstairs walking.  The hardwood floor amplifies their footsteps and they are walking right above us.  No doubt they hear the soundtrack to Lo’s porno.

I can feel her cunt-clenching convulsions beginning.  Her voice is at peak volume.  Her pussy pushes me out as she begins to squirt on the floor and her fingers grab onto the windowsill as if she were on the outside, holding on for dear life.  “FUUUUUCK!” she cries as she sprays the floor.

“Get back in me,” she instructs desperately.

I slide in.

“Fast.  Hard.  Deep.”

I do my best.

Repeat.  I’m squeezed out, she squirts.

I sit on the bed and watch.

Desperate for her third (Lo loves to cum in threes), she lowers her dripping slip-n-slid down on my shaft.

Now she is in control of the penetration as she lifts and drops at her own pace and to her own desired depth.  Quickly she goes from slow and gentle glides to rapid, repetitive sloppy slams like a pile driver dropping at 150 beats per minute until she hits just the right spot and the dam doors burst.

Pleased with winning the Triple Crown, she falls on the bed next to me, panting.

“I tried to stay in you,” I say, apologetically, “but I’m no match for your Kegel muscles.”

“You’d have to knot me to stay in me,” she says matter-of-factly.

I’m exhausted from the workout, but Lo says I have to get up and grab a mop to clean the floor while she changes the sheets.

“Can’t we just nap and clean up later?”

“No!  I can’t sleep on soppy sheets.”

“You’re so sensitive.  You’re like ‘The Princess and the Pee!’”

Stress Relief

It was Thursday night.  I walked in on Lo taking a shower.  “Why is there a wineglass in here?” I asked.

“Because I thought I’d have a sensual, romantic evening.”

“Only you would make a sensual, romantic date with yourself in the shower.”

“Hardly.  But, if you must know, I had originally planned on a bath, surrounded by candles.”

“And?”

“I wanted to cut to the chase.”

I looked in at her and saw that she had the hand-held shower head between her legs.

“Only you could cheat yourself out of a romantic date in order to get lucky – with yourself!”

After her climax, she got out of the shower and as she was drying off, she said, “I’m trying to cultivate pleasurable habits.”

I snickered.

“What?”

“Pleasurable habits are your forte.  I don’t think you need to ‘cultivate’ them.”

“No, no.  Not those sorts of pleasurable habits.  Normally it would be things like getting coffee at a café, strolling through a museum.  Doing yoga.  But during these pandemic times we’re in, I need to discover and foster different pleasurable habits.  What are your pleasurable habits?”

“You.”

“Damn straight.”

“Glad we’re agreed on that because I was afraid you were going to tell me to work out or eat better, or, God forbid, cut out beer!”

“Speaking of that. . .”

“Oh no!”

“No, no, no, silly.  I was just going to say that since I can’t go to the gym, I am going to have to find a way to do workouts at home.”

Lola Today

She put on her workout shorts and sports bra and told me to get out of the bedroom because she was going to do some exercises.  I left and about five minutes later I heard her grunting and breathing heavily.

The next day Lola went into the bedroom to do her exercises again.  When she came out she told me about a workout video that got her hot – about burning your buns off.

On the third day, Lola went into the bedroom to do her exercises and I heard her grunting and breathing heavily.  I was curious.  I went to check on her.  I cracked the bedroom door and found her masturbating on the bed to the sexy woman in the exercise video.

“Is this how you work out?!” I said, walking in on her and interrupting the strenuous physical discipline.

“I told you, I am cultivating pleasurable habits.  If my exercise turns into a digitally manipulated cardio session, that counts as a pleasurable habit.”

The next day during her exercise time I caught her in the bedroom pounding her pussy with her glass dildo instead of doing pushups.

“I felt like I needed to work out, but needed to work it out first!  I had a really hard day.”

“Oh, is this your homeopathic remedy?”

“Why do you ridicule me?  I don’t poke fun at you when your idea of exercise is typing fifty-words-per-minute.”

“I’m not poking fun at you.  I’m in awe of your capacity for poking your yum-yum.”

“Good grief!  Could you leave me to my own devices and take your puns into the other room?”

The following night she began masturbating during a movie we were watching.

“Lo, what are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing?”

“It looks like your finger-fucking your pussy while we’re trying to watch a movie.”

“Keen observation.”

“But why can’t we just watch the movie?  Before too long, you’ll make yourself cum and then you’ll want to fuck me and we’ll never get through the movie.”

“We’re watching Brad Pitt take off his shirt.  Everyone masturbates to that!”

“You’re extrapolating.”

“What?”

“Because you do it, you’re extrapolating from yourself to everyone.”

“And everyone extrapolates.”

“Now you’re confusing extrapolate with masturbate.  Everyone masturbates, but not during every movie.”

“Extrapolate, masturbate, fornicate, what’s the difference?  Can you please press PLAY so I can get on with this?  You interrupted my rhythm.”

“You’re just going to exacerbate the problem by persisting in it.”

“Exactly.”

As I sat watching the scene unfold, I can’t deny that it got me hard.  Lo noticed and said, “If we go to bed, will you stay up?”

“What about the movie?”
“You’ll fall asleep during it anyway.  Let’s get into the bedroom where you can get into me.”

I agreed and got up.  She remained on the couch.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked.

“I hope to be soon.  Brush your teeth, get in bed and I’ll be right there.  I’m just going to finish this up,” she said as if she were in the middle of making a spreadsheet for a work project.

In bed, I fell asleep waiting for her.  She must have entered without my noticing, pulled out her Hitachi and, after cumming once, she put it on my back and jolted me awake.  “I was just using the defibrillator to bring you back to consciousness,” she said wickedly.

After I awoke, she sucked me off, climbed on top of me, and began riding my erect cock.  It is well trained to react to her while the rest of me sleeps.  “Fucking you is like fucking a geriatrics patient.”

“You say the most romantic things.”

“I need dick.  Give it to me.”

I was almost asleep again as she bounced up and down.

“This is like fucking a cock on a corpse after rigor mortis has set in.”

“You sure know how to turn a guy on.”

“I want your cum, Daddy.  Give it to me.  Fill me.”

Relieved to hear her request since it meant the culmination of my satisfaction and the fulfillment of her nocturnal necromancy, I released my draught of desire deep inside her to her delight.

“Thank you, Daddy,” she said, falling into my arms.

“So, am I on your list of pleasurable habits to cultivate?”

“Of course you are, silly!  Number one on the list is ‘Jill it. Drill it. Fill it.’”

“What’s number two?”

“Actually, it’s the only thing on my list so far.”

Stress Relief Tools

Separately Together

Lola Beating Batter

“Whatcha doin’?” I asked as I saw her whisking some batter in a bowl wearing just one of my t-shirts.

“Making whole wheat banana muffins.  Will you try one?”

“Darling, I’ll eat your muff any day.”

“Well, this is the only muff you’re going to get today because my donut hole is oozing jelly, if you know what I mean.”

“You’re confusing food metaphors.”

“Well, there should be no confusion.  If you don’t want our bed to look like something out of C.S.I., then I suggest you be content with just my banana muffin.”

“But you look so very edible in my shirt.”

“You can look, but no touch.”

“What about my banana?”

“Oh, is that what you have in your pants?  You looked a little large to me.”

“This is all natural,” I said, pulling the elastic waistband forward for her to see.

“Keep it in your pants,” she said, still looking at it longingly.

“But Darling.”

“No buts,”

“Just your butt, how’s that?  The perfect compromise.”

“Compromise?  Seems more like first prize for you.”

“That it is.”

“We’ll see,” she said.

“And then I’ll give you some of my batter.”

Later that night, we both got in bed and I asked, “So?”

“So what?”

“Do I get my prize?”

“No, dear, not tonight.”

I was a little disappointed, but I knew better than to press the issue.  She usually reserves her ass for other men, especially to make me jealous.

“Can I ask a favor?”

“What’s that?”

“Will you hold Stoya for me?”

“Sure.”

I got up and took my Stoya Destroya Fleshlight out of the closet.  “Do you wish to lube her up, or shall I?”

“I will,” she said.  “Just stand there.”

“Why?”

“I like to see how my fingering her makes you hard.”

“OK.”

Stoya Destroya Fleshlight

She circled Stoya’s pussy lips like she was pleasuring her before dipping deep in her silicon cunt.

“You like that, Daddy?”

“I like that it looks like you like it.”

“I only wish she was here for me.”

“I bet you do.”

“You ready to fuck her?”

HH

“I am.”

She held Stoya’s pussy between her legs and said, “Go for it.”

I was positioned over Lo and Stoya.  Lo was in the Missionary position holding Stoya steady for me.  I slid right in.  I was fucking her for maybe ten seconds before Lo said, “Daddy.”

“Yes?”

“Try it this way.”  Lo turned onto her tum and placed Stoya between her inner thighs so I could go at her from behind.  I was sliding in and out as Lo read a magazine, dismissive of my masturbatory movements.

“Lo,” I said, interrupting her focus.

“Yeah?”

“Whatcha reading about?”

“Nothing.  It’s boring,” she said.  Then she pulled out her phone.  I could see she was looking at a naked couple.

“Who’s that?” I asked.  I didn’t have my glasses on as I looked over her shoulder.

“Just a couple.  They sent me a photo of them getting off together while reading Match, Cinder & Spark.”

Mike & Alia

She scrolled through a bunch of photos.

“Are all of those them?”

Mike Getting Off to Lo

“Yeah.  They really like it.”

“What about you?”

“I love it.”

“The book or that they’re getting off to it?”

“Both silly.”

“Good,” I said, as I continued fucking Stoya.

“Daddy,” asked Lo, “can you move to my side?”

“Why’s that?”

“I want to use my Hitachi.”

“OK.”

I got on her left side.  With her left hand she absentmindedly held the contraption steady.  With her right hand she pressed the giant vibrator on her clit, clearly focused on that action.

I went at it.  She went at it.  Each of us separately together.

I looked at her naked body as I made my moves on Stoya.  I observed Lo’s closed eyes, her heaving breasts, her tum tightening and relaxing as her right hand pressed and released the vibrating bulb on her clit.  I wondered what scenes were playing out on the inside of her eyelids.  Was she thinking of a man she saw today?  A woman?  A lover from her past?  Someone she is yet to conquer?  Was there a chance she was thinking of me?  Unlikely.  I was right next to her, physically, but she was somewhere else mentally.  She was enjoying the scene.  Maybe she was picturing the couple who sent the photos.  I could see her body tensing up.  Her shoulders grew concave as her right hand pressed harder.  Her breasts heaved and became flush.  Her brow furrowed with the intensity.  Her knees buckled and her hips rose.  Everything was teetering on tipping and spilling over.  The moment was taut with anticipation and anxiety.  There was always the slightest chance she wouldn’t pull it off; that the big O would slip from her grasp.  It seemed so palpably near, but far from certain.  It felt like there were many spirits in the room cheering her on to succeed as if she were running the last few yards of a marathon, the tightly stretched ribbon just aching to be snapped by the victor.

And then, there it was, her great reward for her efforts.  Her entire body heaved and went into spasms as wave after wave of pleasure rippled over her flesh.  She cursed and groaned, grunted and sighed while remarkably still holding the Fleshlight with her left hand.

Her pleasure was enough to put me over the edge.  I came, filling Stoya with my cum.

We put the sex toys away and fell asleep satisfied with the job our prosthetic lovers did for us.

Mike & Alia

Only Love Can Fill the Hole in Your Heart

The Hole at the Center of the World

“Daddy.”

“Yes?”

“Daddy, I want your attention,” demanded Lo in her spoiled-brat tone.  I was busy reading a book.  I looked up at her.

“Yes?”

“Daddy, are you proud of me?”

“Am I proud of you?”

“Yes.”

“Of course I’m proud of you,” I said.  I’ve said it before, but of Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” – 1) words of affirmation; 2) quality time; 3) receiving gifts; 4) acts of service and; 5) physical touch – Lola requires all five and a few more.

“Why?” she asked.

Where to begin?  An open-ended question like that really is difficult to answer, especially after having written five published books about Lo and thousands of yet-to-be-published stories – all expressing my awe of her.

“You know,” I said instead, “it is Father’s Day, not Lola’s Day.”

“Every day is Lola’s Day.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“Please, just give me three reasons why you’re proud of me.”

At this point it began to dawn on me why, on Father’s Day, she suddenly needed to hear my praise.  Because she’s been estranged from her father for so long and, on this day in particular, his absence and lack of appreciation of her was being felt more strongly than on others.  As a result, she needed to hear from me – her father-figure/lover – that I held her in high esteem.  The highest in fact.

“OK, Lo.  Well, first off, you are incredibly beautiful and sexy.”

“Though that’s true,” she said, “that doesn’t count.  No physical qualities.”

“Alright.  You’re an incredible lover.”

“Also true.  But nothing to do with sex either.”

“You’re just looking to increase the minimum of three to an indefinite amount by disqualifying my answers.”

“Try again.  You still need three.”

“You’re a great cook.”

“It can’t be something I do for you.”

“But you cook for lots of people.”

“Right.  That’s another reason why sex doesn’t count either.”

“This is hard.”

“It shouldn’t be, Daddy.  Can’t you think of three things about me that make you proud?”

“I just gave you my top three.”

“Try again.”

“Well, you’re very accomplished.”

“Go on.”

“You’ve got a graduate degree.  You’re successful in your field.  You’re a rising star.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“OK, that counts as one.”

“You’re funny.”

“Funny?  Funny how?” she asked.  “I mean funny like I’m a clown?  I amuse you?”  She said all this doing a spot-on imitation of Joe Pesci from Goodfellas.  We both cracked up.

“And you’re smart.”

Suddenly there were stars in her eyes.  “Smart.  You think so?”

“Of course I do, Lo.”

“Do you know how much that means coming from you?”

“Plethora.”

“What?”
“Plethora.  It means a lot.”

She laughed at my old joke.

“Let’s do it, Daddy,” she said.

“Why all of a sudden?”
“Because your wit turns me on.”

“And you like hearing that I think you’re smart.”

“That too and I want to learn more.”

“What could I possibly teach you in bed?”

“I don’t know, but I’m a big fan of hands-on learning.”

When we got to the bedroom and she removed her clothes, I said, “Now can I compliment your physical features?”

“No,” she said, “just pound me Daddy.  I need to be filled up.”

As I gave her what she asked for and she called out to me “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,” it dawned on me (again) that she has a gaping hole in her heart that she attempts to fill through a stuffing a different hole.  Her long line of lovers, past and present, most of whom have been older men, are mere substitutes.  But I, the eldest of them all, what am I to Lo?  Lover?  Paternal benefactor?  Security?  Challenge?

As I continued the quick dips deep into her, she began convulsing and clutching my member.  Tears began flowing from her eyes and greater gushes spurted from below.  A cathartic, quaking, crying orgasm that left her breathless and sopping wet everywhere.

Still hard and sheathed deep inside her, I held her firmly, yet gentle enough to allow her to breathe deeply, her breasts heaving up and down under my chest.

“Daddy,” she whispered as she regained her composure.

“Yes?”

“Are you proud of me?”

“Yes, Lo, I’m very proud of you.”

Fill the Void with Art

Alliterative Agony

[The mini-series “Mount Bliss” continues from “I do it dirtier.”]

I admit, I had been sleeping for untold hours when I finally heard Lo’s sweet whispers coaxing me to awake.  “Daddy.  Daddy.  Are you up Daddy?”

Her hand was caressing my chest.  Her bare leg was draped over mine.  She was all sex.  All desire.  All mine.  Forget that last bit.  She certainly wasn’t all mine physically, but she knew whose bed to return to at night.

My eyes opened.  Her hair was wet, her body was hot.

“Fuck me, Daddy,” she said softly in my ear between nibbles on my earlobe.  “I’ve been a bad, bad girl.”

“Fuck me, Daddy. I’ve been a bad girl.”

She could feel me getting hard in her hand.  She liked that I reacted to her.  She enjoyed her power.

“Get on your back.  Spread your legs.  Open your pussy.”

“It’s open, Daddy.  And wet.”

She wasn’t wrong.  I slid in deep.  She moaned.  I think she might have climaxed with that very first penetration.  But it wasn’t the climax of her climaxes.

“Where have you been?” I asked, whispering in her ear as I conjoined with her.

After a moment of deep breathing, she began telling me the story that I have just related to you, dear reader.  Her narrative was punctuated repeatedly by her orgasms.

When she was done telling me about her golden shower with Collin, she then said, “Are you disappointed in me?”

“No.”

“Am I disgusting?”

“No.”

“Am I a sick, worthless, slut?”

“No, Lo.”

“Yes, yes I am,” she insisted.

“Yes, no, either way, I love you.”

“I am bad,” she said.  “Defiled, degraded, debased, dirty, depraved, dishonored, deflowered, debauched, dissolute, disgusting, dirty, a dick-hungry cum bucket.”

With each alliterative self-depreciating descriptor, I thrust harder into her as if punishing her for her shame.

“And I love you,” I said when she was done.

She had climaxed her climactic climax and now she was crying into her pillow.  “No,” she said, “I’m not worthy of love.  I’m not worthy of anyone or anything.  I’m a sick, fat, fuckhole.”

“Lola,” I said, caressing her back as she wept heavy, body heaving sobs into the pillow.  Her body convulsed much like it did when orgasming, but now she was weeping.  “I love you.”

She had to get it all out and then, after many minutes of the tears streaming from her eyes like the juices had from her pussy just a little while ago, she finally took some deep breaths, put her head on my chest, and just let me hold her.  She fell asleep like that, peaceful in my arms.

Interview With a Nympho

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Working from home? Enjoy mysexlifewithlola as you do.

[I, Lola Down, recently was asked to do an interview about my sex-life under lockdown. Even though HH just wrote an article about it for Ethical Non-Monogamy Magazine, I was happy to give an interview in my own words. It ended up on the cutting room floor, but here it is for your reading pleasure.]

1. How has your sex life changed since practicing social distancing?

My sex life with my man, HH, is pretty much the same. I mean, we have lots of time together and, actually, that’s been great for both of us. But, to fill you in on our relationship, he’s in his fifties and I’m in my mid-twenties. His libido isn’t quite where mine is. In fact, he says that my libido outstrips that of a teenage boy. Well, maybe he’s right. So between us, things have remained the same — about once or twice a day. However, with “social distancing” (which is really physical distancing since I am still very social, just physically distant) I cannot meet men and women in person like I used to. HH and I have an understanding. I’m given free reign (to be a ‘hotwife’) and he saves himself for me. But now, all my hotwife activity is only virtual — through email (downloladown@gmail.com) or tweet or other social media. There’s a lot of men and women out there who are trapped. Either they’re alone or they are with partners that don’t satisfy them. They’re happy to find me.

Caught!

2. What is it like when you do decide to leave your apartment, flat or home?

Where we are, when we go out it’s probably much like where you are. People walking around or jogging or biking. Some have masks on, some don’t. I get really upset at those joggers who sneak up on you and don’t have a mask on and they come within a foot of your personal space. Go jog somewhere else! You know? Shopping is a pain, but you know, as they say, we’re all in this together. I can’t complain any more than the next person.

3. How do you control your urges or cravings on a daily basis?

Working from home makes it easy. Simply put, I don’t have to “control my urges or cravings” as much as I would at work. I can simply hop into the bath, turn on the warm water, spread my legs and have a little mid-day me-time. No sneaking around to the office supply closet or an empty bathroom.

Lola Social Distancing

4. What is the hardest part of being a sex addict in quarantine?

Am I a sex addict? Like Jessica Rabbit says, “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.” HH depicts me as a sex-craved nympho. I just think I’m sex-positive with a healthy libido. I think that this “social distancing” is as draining on me as anyone. I thrive on social interaction. The other day I woke up and turned to HH and said, “I had such a vivid dream. I was at a restaurant and had just finished an excellent meal and a great cocktail. I even asked for the bill. It was amazing!”

“Was it as good as a sex dream?” he asked.

Honestly, it was better. I just want to be outside with people, dining out, seeing and being seen, dressing up or dressing down and, did I mention, being with people? Zoom just doesn’t do it for me.

Write me!

5. How do you cope as a sex addict in quarantine?

Didn’t the CDC say that sex with yourself is the safest sexy you can have? Well, I try to follow rules. Except when I break them. No, just kidding. That’s a rule I don’t break. I have a lot of self-pleasure sessions. Nothing new there, really. But now I can’t just call up a friend and have him or her come over to give me benefits.

6. Are you still having sex with other people while in quarantine? If so, please explain.

No sex in real life, just in my imagination. I had another crazy sex dream about Peter Dinklage the other night. I know, right? If only he and I were dining together in my dream. . .

7. How often are you watching pornography, using sex toys, or engaging in sex addicts that do not involve a partner while in quarantine?

Daily, hourly, right now. . . I mean, if you’re reading this, I’m engaging with you, right?