Lola and I were discussing my latest publication and the woeful lack of financial reward gained from it.
“Do you think that the problem may be with the world, not with me?” I asked, tired of being responsible for the failure of monetizing our sexy, silly, sensuous, serious, sappy, serial story.
“Yes, of course,” she said, “the problem is the world, not you. The blog is the best writing you do.”
“Thank you dear,” I said, “you are an inspiration.”
“The world just isn’t ready for you,” she said. The way she said it, I couldn’t tell if she was being sincere or sarcastic. I shrugged and allowed myself to take it as a compliment.
“You know, you’re right. I’ve put a lot of thought to this and I honestly can’t think of one author who is comparable in terms of range.”
“Oh boy,” she said, “here we go.” Her tone was that of exasperation, as if she had heard this all before. But I had never mentioned this to her.
“Aren’t you going to ask me about range?”
“Yes dear, please, tell me about your range.”
“Well, I’ve written plays, screenplays, works of philosophy, art theory, novels, poetry, and, erotica – don’t forget the erotica.”
“I am aware.”
“Perhaps,” I said, gazing off to the middle distance, rubbing my beard, “there is one, one author who has an equal range.”
“And who would that be?” she asked as if reading from a script.
“Marquis de Sade. Yes, yes,” I said more enthusiastically the more I thought on it, “he had range – plays, philosophy, theology, erotica.”
“And look at how the world treated him.”
“Precisely, my dear, precisely! They put the genius in prison! I suppose I should count my blessings that I have not been arrested, charged, indicted, found guilty and imprisoned.”
“By that reckoning, you’re ahead of the game.”
“No matter how things go, I am fully confident that someday my true talent will be recognized, like with Sade. It may just have to be posthumously.”
“Great,” she said totally devoid of enthusiasm.
“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll be remembered as more than my mistress. You’ll be known as my divine muse.”
“Just what I’ve always aspired to in life.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“And you sound like a pompous ass! You know, I’m more than just your muse. I have great achievements in my own right.”
“Of course you do,” I said, “but we’re talking about an immortal legacy. For that, you’ll be remembered as I see you; as high priestess in the holy church of Venus.”
“As a porn star, you mean.”
“A priestess of porn.”
“A slut.”
“An entelechy of the divine feminine.”
“A pinup calendar model.”
“Why must you speak in such pedestrian terms?”
“Your speech flies to the heavens. I’m here to keep you grounded. Earthly delights, remember?”
This woman (Emma McGowan) gets off to mysexlifewithlola.com
