Category Archives: Lesbian

“This is my body, given for you.”

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“What are those for?”
“These are for later.”

 

Lo is naked in bed.  “Come, Daddy.  Fuck me.”

“No, I’m writing.”

“Oh, please!!!!”

“Later.  Not now.”

“Then be a doll and fetch me a cucumber.”

I get her the vegetable from the kitchen and bring it to her in the bedroom.

“Now give me a condom.”

“Why?”

“You know what sort of stuff they put on this thing?  Insecticides, wax, who knows what!  Put a condom over any phallic-shaped object and you’re good to go.”

“Thanks for the free advice,” I say as I pull a condom out from my nightstand drawer.

“You’re welcome.”

I begin to leave the room.

“You sure you don’t want to get in on this?” she asks as she spreads her legs and puts the cucumber in her hole.”

“I’ll pass on the salad.  I haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

“Well, you’re missing out.  The dressing is homemade.”

I leave the room and return to my computer where I try to continue writing.  My thoughts are disturbed by the moans, groans, and then screams and sighs that I hear my little nymphet producing like a primitive mating call, signaling to all within earshot that she is eager for cock, or pussy, or something.  I believe I read about that as an actual scientific theory in the book Sex at Dawn.  Women are louder than men when it comes to sex because their sounds are an enticement for other men to fuck them, thus increasing the likelihood of fertilization.

Just a fun photo I found featuring Sex at Dawn

That morning I was able to prove the theory true through the scientific method of replication of results.  No sooner had Lola howled to the heavens about how filling and nutritionally valuable her ‘vagetable’ was, than there was a knocking at the door.

Annoyed, I get up from my computer, where I hadn’t been able to write more than a sentence, and I answer the door – Lola’s sex-singing still quite audible in the background.  Standing at the door is a FedEx delivery guy.  He seems to be in his fifties.  Old, tired, rundown.  However, he hears the post-self-coital cooing coming from the bedroom.

“I have a package for delivery.  It needs your signature.”

I look at the package.  I see Lo’s name on it.  “Oh, it’s not for me.  It’s for Lola,” I say, looking up at him.

“Whatever,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.  “I just need a signature.”

I’m feeling particularly wily that morning and so I insist that it be signed by Lola.

“Lo!” I call, “Oh Lo,” I repeat in a sing-song fashion.

“I’m busy!” I hear bellowing down the hall and I also just perceive the sound of her Hitachi Magic Wand buzzing in the background like a distant hedge trimmer.

“There’s a man here to see you,” I say in a loud voice.  I look at the delivery man and give him a knowing wink.

Lo comes stomping down the hallway, barefoot, naked, her inner thighs glistening with the glaze of her last orgasm, her breasts flailing from left to right with each deliberate footfall.

“What?  Who?”

She stands behind me and sees the delivery man.

“Signature, ma’am,” he says, unflustered.

Lo wedges herself in front of me and stands, stark naked in the doorway, grabbing the electronic signature board, scribbling her name and taking the package.

“It’s a big package” she says, not about what is in her hands, but about the delivery man.

“Thank you, ma’am,” he says.

“You need something?” she asks.  “A drink?  You look parched.”

“No ma’am,” he says, so politely, “I must be going.”

“OK, too bad,” she says, licking her lips.

He turns and walks to his truck.

“What is that?” I ask Lo of the package.

“The latest from ErosettiPress.”

“Oh really?!” I say, excited.

“Yep,” she says, tearing open the package.

She pulls out the very handsome hardcover book: The Anthology of Erotic Narrative, Volume I: Fetish.  “Look!  Our story!”  She shows me the chapter, “Crisscross,” which includes a sexy illustration of Lola, on her back, as sushi is displayed upon her for a nyotaimori feast.

“Dante Remy, the editor, had to condense it from the original,” she adds by way of explanation.

“I frequently have that problem – too much length.”

“Not with me you don’t,” she says.  “Oh!  And look!  They even included a little blurb about us!”

She reads from the bio page:

 

H.H. & Lola, based in the US, push the boundaries of conventional relationships, captivating their readers and followers with their unapologetic exploration of desire and the endless possibilities of a love that knows no limits.  Their large erotic cult following includes tribute artwork and photos from readers, often displaying their books in explicit context.  These fan images and art are published along with the stories in their books, and on their active blog and social media presence.  They are at the center of a community of erotic art and expression.  You can engage with them on their blog site mysexlifewithlola.com and their X and Instagram social media.

 

“What do you think?” she asks me.

“You didn’t write that?” I ask her.

“No, silly!”

“Well, I like it.”  I take the book from her hands to read it over once again.  “I especially like the ‘unapologetic’ bit.”

“Yes, that describes you,” she said, not without a hint of irony.

“And the ‘large erotic cult following.’  That’s nice.”

“Yep – and true.”

“He says we are ‘the center of a community of erotic art and expression.’”

“Well, aren’t we?”

“I guess.  I just never thought of us like that.”

“I’ve thought of me like that,” she remarks.

“Of course you have.  Too bad we have since been banned from X and Instagram.  If the Marquis de Sade lived today, he wouldn’t be locked up in the Bastille, he’d be banished from social media!”

“You keep on having grandiose thoughts of you and Sade and the evil electronic geniuses aligned against you, I think I’ll go back to my regularly scheduled programming,” she says, taking the book and walking down the hall.

“Hey,” I call to her.

She stops and turns around.  “Yes?”
“What’s put you in this Saturday morning self-abuse mood?”

“Do I need a reason?”
“No, but you usually have one.”

“If you must know, I’ve been getting a lot of fan mail ever since we posted the interview with Hani Miletski.”

“Totally Taboo?”
“Yeah, that one.”

“What sort of fan mail?”

“Why don’t you cum and read it with me?  I mean, wait, reverse that.”

“Very funny.”

I follow her down the hall to the bedroom where she has the cucumber, her Hitachi, and her laptop all spread out over the bed.

She turns the computer screen toward me and shows me an image from a female fan.  It is of a young, mid-thirties woman, in bed, a towel wrapped around her hair as if she had just got out of the shower, with her two children, a girl and a boy, suckling at her breasts.  Above and behind her, on the wall, are mounted two framed paintings from the blog.  One of MILF Meri and her son, the other of Lola as a little girl with her panties over her head, standing naked and defiant.  Both artworks were made by our dear Ukrainian friend Sergii.

Pam at home breastfeeding with art by Sergii above her

“And who is this?” I ask.

“Her name is Pam and she’s a housewife raising twins – a boy and a girl.  She doesn’t believe in setting an age for ending breastfeeding.  She told me she’s inspired by Sophie Rose.”

“Who?”

“Oh, never mind.  It’s a movement to breastfeed kids later into life.”

“That’s a movement?”

“Yeah, but she’s on the fringes of that movement?”

“What’s that mean?”

“She is advocating for breastfeeding-self-care.”

“Now you’ve lost me.”

“She enjoys a wank-spank under the covers while the twins are latched onto her tits.”

“And that’s a movement?!”

“Well, not yet, but she is hoping to make it one.”

“You find all kinds,” I said in astonishment.

“It’s not all that uncommon,” remarked Lo, rather clinical about it.  “Pam discovered, like a lot of women who breastfeed, that it is or can be stimulating.  Sexually stimulating.  She got all tingly between her legs.  One day, at the airport no less, she was breastfeeding and, to her complete and utter surprise. . .”

“You mean udder surprise,” I suggest.

“Just full of wit this morning, aren’t ya, ole man?  She suddenly squirted, right out of the blue, right there in public!  She realized later that it was probably a combination of being sexually frustrated – she was going to see her husband who was stationed across the country for work – and the excitement of having her breasts exposed in public where she was getting a lot of stares.”

“Don’t they have special rooms for that?”

“I don’t know,” says Lo, returning the cucumber to its holster inside her as she places the Hitachi on her clit and looks at the photo again.  “But now she does it all the time.  She says it creates the most intense orgasms and bonding experience she’s ever felt.  Now she’s trying to spread the word.  That’s why she wrote to me.  When she saw the interview with Melitski, she thought that our blog would be a good way to publicize the masturlactation method, as she calls it.”

“A portmanteau of ‘masturbation’ and ‘lactation’ I assume?”

She is too fully engaged in her own masturbation to answer me.

Without looking at me, she simply says, “Suck my tits, Daddy.”

I comply, leaning over to latch onto her left breast while my right hand fondles and pulls on her right nipple.  She instantly climaxes – her clenching pussy shooting the cucumber straight out of her pussy like a torpedo!  That is followed by a tsunami of squirt.

“Holy FUCK!” she says, as she apparently surprised even herself.

“Feel better, Love?” I ask.

She laughs to herself.

“What?” I ask.

“As I was cumming, I had the weirdest thought.”

“What was that?” I ask, realizing that we have been in the realm of weird for quite some time.

“I wondered if all those millions of images of the Madonna and Child – you know, of the Virgin Mary and Jesus as an infant at her breast – I wondered if in all of them, if the Holy Mother is in the state of orgasmic bliss.  Isn’t that weird?  I mean, wouldn’t that be something?”

Mary and Baby Jesus

“Only you could have a theophany to put you over the edge.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to write.”

“What are you going to write?” she asks, skimming through images of the Madonna and Child.

“All about you.”

Caravaggio – Madonna and Child with St. Anne

Fan Photo

Totally Taboo: Interview with Hani Miletski

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WARNING! THIS POST MAY NOT BE FOR YOU. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, JUST IGNORE IT.

But, it may also be educational for you.

Statue of “Lola Takes a Lover” surrounded by art of Lola on the Left and Right, and MILF Meri, center.

Totally Taboo

For all you devoted readers of MySexLifeWithLola, you are probably aware that some of our posts are on the more risqué side of sex blogging.  Various of our friends – MILF Meri, Lilly, and even Lo and her sister Robie – engage in sexual practices that are not to everyone’s taste.  We have heard from a lot of you and, for those of you who love these relationships and those of you struggling, we bring you this insightful interview with the pioneer researcher and therapist of some of the most ticklish taboos: bestiality and incest.  Consider this your trigger warning.

Taboos – Popular, Hidden, and Unthinkable – and Interview with Hani Miletski:

In her groundbreaking work on Mother-Son incest, Hani Miletski says about her study that it “provides arguments to support the assumption that the apparent rarity of mother-son incest has more to do with society’s inhibitions and inability to accept the fact that this form of incest exists than with the actual taboo’s strength.  It is as though the taboo is about preventing the belief that mother-son incest exists rather than about preventing it from actually happening.”  Over a hundred years since Freud’s famous “Seduction Theory” shocked the Victorian Age by suggesting that incestuous relationships (mostly involving minors and abuse) happened far more frequently than anyone suspected or was willing to admit, society is still unwilling to admit one form of incest – that involving a desiring mother.

Match, Cinder & Spark on Audible dot Com

Mom & Daughter have “the talk.”

Mom & Daughter

In addition to Miletski’s work, there is also the fine scholarship done in 1992 by Beverly Ann Ogilvie who wrote The Experience of Mother-Daughter Incest, and one earlier work, from 1987, by Karen Louise Kenney, who wrote, Maternal Incest: An Annotated Review of the Literature on Mother-Daughter and Mother-Son Incest.

Desiring Moms

Crime & Punishment

Taking the taboos of society one step further, there is the radical study by Miletski, Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia, in which she engages in primary research with 26 men and 6 women, all of whom engaged in some degree of bestiality and/or zoophilia.  The research was undertaken to understand these people and how they understand themselves.

MILF Meri and son

If you’re interested in this work, then you will want to read this brief interview with Miletski.

  1. You really tackle the most difficult, taboo, and even repressed topics – Mother-Son incest and bestiality. Why? What originally got you interested in these topics?

I like to research topics that I don’t know much about.  It makes any research project much more interesting.

Mother-Son Incest started as my master’s thesis.  I was doing my MSW at Catholic University in DC, and I knew I will be pursuing my certification in sex therapy as soon as I graduate.  So, I wanted my thesis to be about some topic related to sexuality.  But, being at a Catholic university, I couldn’t write about orgasms or erectile dysfunctions, for example, so I chose to write about sexual abuse.  My advisor wanted me to be more specific, so I chose incest.  That was not specific enough for my advisor, so I chose mother-son incest because I had never heard of it at that time, and I was thinking that my thesis will end up being about why mother-son incest never happens, until I started researching it…

Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia started as my doctorate dissertation.  At that time, I was already working as a sex therapist, and one of my clients was into sex with dogs.  I had already started researching the topic because I didn’t know what to do with her, so when it came time to choose a topic for my dissertation, that was an obvious choice, as there was really nothing out there about people who cannot stop thinking of, and wanting to, and having sex with animals.

Lola and Woman’s Best Friend

  1. What was your approach with that patient who was into sex with dogs then and how would it be different after you did your research?

My approach has not changed.  I believe the most important thing as a therapist is to be non-judgmental, open-minded, empathic, curious, attentive, and supportive.  The answers to any questions/problems come from working together with the client, as a team, as we explore various possibilities until we find the best solution.  In my client’s case, she felt extreme shame about her behavior, and she wanted to stop having sex with dogs, but could not.  I helped her realize and accept that this was a sexual orientation that she, obviously, did not choose for herself.  I helped her realize and accept that she was not doing any harm to the dogs (she only had sex with male dogs – they were penetrating her).  And I helped her learn how to be careful so she doesn’t get caught.

Movie Poster from a mainstream movie about bestiality

  1. You mentioned that you had been turned down by at least ten publishers. Did you find it difficult to get your work peer reviewed and published? What sorts of obstacles did you face? What did publishers or even your colleagues say about your work?

I tried to get the book Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia published, but no publisher wanted to touch this subject.  They simply told me that this is not a topic they were interested in, so I ended up self-publishing the book and I have not tried to get it published by a publishing house anymore.   This was 22 years ago.

My colleagues were against my writing my dissertation about this topic, let alone publishing it.  They thought it would pigeon-hole me and it would make potential future clients shy away from seeking my help.  I obviously did not listen to them.  There were probably people over the years who did not contact me for this reason, but the people who did always told me that they felt comfortable telling me all their hidden secrets because if I could deal with bestiality, I could probably deal with everything else.

Art by Pulpbrother

  1. In Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia, you explicitly open up the question as to bestials or zoophiles being a “sexual orientation.” But you don’t ever take that approach with the mother-son study. Do you think that there is a certain contingent of women out there who are only attracted to either their children (sons, daughters), or to young people? In the wake of every sensational news story about women who seduce minors, especially if the perpetrator is attractive, like Debra Lafave, people always ask, “Why would she do that if she could get anyone she wanted because she’s so beautiful/sexy?” But they don’t seem to understand that it’s not merely about getting physical sexual needs met. What do you think?

Debra Lavave and Ex-Husband, Owen Lafave

Debra Lafave

Debra Lafave

Not Debra Lafave, but purported to be.

Tampa, the Novel inspired by Debra Lafave

I believe there are women who are sexually oriented toward minors, just like some men are.  I honestly never thought about a sexual orientation toward one’s own children, but I guess anything is possible.

  1. Have you read the book Tampa? If so, what are your thoughts?

I have not read this book, but just from the write up about it, it looks like a similar story to the Mary Kay Letourneau scandal, in the early 90s.

  1. When you published Mother-Son Incest in 1995, were you aware of or had you read Beverly Ann Ogilvie’s 1992 study, The Experience of Mother-Daughter Incest? If you’re familiar with it, what similarities and differences do you find in the two taboo relationships?

Mom & Daughter Tease

Unfortunately, I have not been aware of this study.  I was aware of Rosencrans’ (1997) study of 93 daughters and nine sons who had been sexually abused by their mothers.  Nine men heard about her study and asked to participate in it.  She ended up adding a chapter in her book (The Last Secret: Daughters Sexually Abused by Mothers) about these nine men.  Although all nine men admitted to having had incestuous relationships with their mothers, 89 percent of the sons (eight men) believed they had a normal childhood, compared to only two percent of the 93 daughters.  All nine men felt they were their mothers’ lovers and did not perceive themselves as victims.

Mom & Daughter

  1. When you did your study on bestials and zoos, you mention a few times about how new the internet is and how new you were to it. Since then, the internet has developed quite a bit. Have you seen what people are posting now depicting bestiality? What are your thoughts?

Knotty Fairy getting off to Lola

Last I checked, it’s all about pornography.  All the online groups/listservs/websites/etc. that used to be around when I was doing my study, they all disappeared.  The ones that came after, came and went.  They always face threats from outsiders and sometimes even from within the community.  It’s a shame.

Fan pic, getting off to Lo

Fan pic, getting off to Lola

Fan Photo Getting off to Lola

Fan Photo, Getting Off to Lo

Fan Photo, Getting off to Lo

Fan Photo, Getting off to Lo

  1. Desiring women have become more prevalent in popular culture, whether we’re talking Frankie Shaw’s character in MILF, Mary-Louise Parker’s character in Weeds, Zooey Deschanel’s character in The New Girl, or Y tu mamá también. All these popular shows include the desirous dimension of women in ways that were taboo not long ago. Do you think that, as a culture, America is ready to explore the famous “dark continent” of women’s sexuality, as Freud called it?

Marie-Louise Parker

Frankie Shaw of SMILF

Frankie Shaw, SMILF scene

SMILF with Frankie Shaw Look Carefully and you’ll see what gets Frankie Shaw off.

Zooey Deschanel

I think this question is too theoretical.  I think the U.S. has come a long way regarding the acceptance of women’s sexuality, but the U.S. is very large, with a huge population, many various cultures, and countless opinions, so I would not attempt to make such a guess.

Art Appreciation 101 – The Minotaur

  1. Both bestiality and mother-son incest are among the more prevalent themes in Greco-Roman mythology. How do you account for that?

Meri and son – very Oedipal

They are among the most taboo in practically every culture.  The more something is taboo, the more curious people are about it.  It’s human nature.  And, by the way, these two themes are also among the most popular pornographic themes and the most visited sites.

  1. One of the most obvious, yet least discussed, images of mother-son incest is in the depiction of Venus and Cupid/Aphrodite and Eros.  They are considered mother and son and often depicted in sexually suggestive poses.  Given that these are the mythical origins of sexual desire, do you think there is something deep in our psyche that ties sexuality with this primary relationship?

There probably is something deep in our psyche that ties sexuality with this primary relationship.  I talk about it in my book.

From the Bible – Lot and His Daughters

Sisters – Lo and Robie

  1. What about mother-daughter incest?  Though you call mother-son incest “the unthinkable broken taboo,” wouldn’t mother-daughter incest, since it is almost never depicted (in myth, legend, art, or psychological studies), be even more “unthinkable” for that very reason?

Very possible.  In my book/thesis I was focusing on mother-son incest, but that does not mean that mother-daughter incest is not, or maybe even more, unthinkable.

MILF Meri

Chimera (pt. 2)

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“What is happening?” asked Lo in her host’s ear.

“You saw the dessert table and, before I could stop you, you ate a large slice of cake.  More THC infused chocolate cake.  You had forgotten what I told you – all the sweets are full of pot!  You are going to be ok.  But things will seem weird for a while.”

Art by Jana Brike

Her voice was so gentle and calm that Lo felt transported out of her body to some ethereal place where she met the Brike.  The Brike are, according to Lola, small, beautiful, Alice-in-Wonderland-type creatures.  They are of no gender because there is only one gender.  At birth, they all look like girls.  They all have the same anatomy of girls, that is.  But when they begin to hit puberty, an odd thing happens to them – they develop tail-like structures at the top of their butt-crack, that is, right by their tailbone.  The growth begins as merely a small bump – like a wart or boil, or like their nipples just budding.  But then it continues to grow like a long flap of skin.  That’s how it is most of the time, but when these “girls” or creatures get sexually aroused, which is often, the flap of tail grows.  They get erections.  Their tails point in the air and then they copulate.  Usually one sits atop the back of the other, either cowgirl style or reverse cowgirl, letting the erect tail penetrate either the vagina or the anus.  The copulation is not for procreation purposes.  They procreate parthenogenically.  When they feel the need for reproduction, their “tail” grows to an enormous length – perhaps two feet in some – and enters their own vagina.  It is said to be the best sex they will ever experience.  The tail ejaculates and then, after a recovery period of about two hours, it is shed.  The “girl” goes back to being a-sexual as the baby gestates in her.  She dies in childbirth.  No exceptions.  The newborn Brike baby is then raised on Chimera Milk of the mystical Chimera Matron – a griffin sort or creature with four breasts hanging below that are ever-full and lactating.  Then the cycle begins again.

Art by Jana Brike

Lo was feeling not herself.

Gathering Griffin Milk

Tara recommended that Lo try some deep breathing exercises and a little meditation to ground her.  They sat on Tara’s bed, both naked, and as Lo looked at Tara, sitting in the lotus position, Tara transformed from the present-day host of a drug-infused kink party to a timeless goddess of Theravada or Tantric Buddhism.  She sat serenely in a landscape beyond time and space, infusing all living things with her beauty, grace, life, and love.

Tara

As Lo witnessed this, a change occurred in herself whereby she suddenly felt her entire being metamorphosize from flesh-and-blood into a porcelain statue.  She became timeless herself, but in a way that was beyond the vicissitudes of life.  She became still and immobile like stone.  Impervious to all things.  But, thereby, beyond pleasure and pain.  She did not like it.  She did not like it at all!

Mystical Tara

Lo as a statue, art by Boom Beach

She heard Tara speak to her, but without moving her lips.  It was mind-to-mind communication.  Tara encouragingly, sweetly whispered to her, “Let go of all illusions – of me, of yourself, of the world, of your mind.  Pleasure, pain, pure, impure, sacred, profane, divine, debased – these are all the same.”  The sound of her disembodied voice sparkled and glittered like the sound she heard before of the windchime in the breeze.

Fragile Lo, art by Boom Beach

Opening her eyes, she saw Tara suddenly split into many pieces that hovered in the air.  It was terrifying at first, but then Lo saw that this was just her illusion breaking apart.

Tara Goes to Pieces

The next thing she knew, she was being dropped off at home by Mr. Biggs, who, as she looked back at the car, appeared to be the fat, jolly Buddha known as Hotei, naked and cheerful behind the wheel.

Art of Lo and Tara by Rigs Usually Hidden Drawings

Chimeras

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Tara led the lion right up to Lo in the center of the circus.  Lo was lying in the muddy dirt of the center ring.  The entire floor of the circus was dirt, but now, where Lo was, it had turned to mud from the copious amount of cum ejaculated by the elephant that had just copulated with Lo.  The viscus, warm, white jizz had spilled out of Lo’s cunt and created a sloppy mess right where Lo was recovering from her dazzling display of big dick penetration.  The elephant put its trunk in a bucket of water nearby and sprayed Lo down, showering her affectionately.  Lo struggled to get to her feet as a new drama unfolded.

With the elephant, the audience was on the edge of their seats wondering if Lo could take the massive pink missile.  And they were ecstatic to see Lo mounted successfully.  But now there was an ominous sense of foreboding under the big tent as everyone held their collective breath wondering if the lion would also mount Lo or if it would eat her – and not in the good way!

Tara stood, holding her whip, ready to smack the lion back into submission, but there was no need.  Apparently this lion had been trained since early age to take women as trophy lionesses.  It approached Lo and quickly, without any feline foreplay, mounted and fucked Lo from behind.  The audience was silent this time, afraid that any loud, enthusiastic encouragement might scare the lion into destroying his mate.  When it had reached climax, Lo realized why a lion’s pack is called a “pride,” since anyone who can handle that cock has to be full of pride, as was Lo.  She was also full of a lot more than that and it was dripping all around her in the ring as Tara led the satisfied animal away and Lo was left standing in the spotlight, soaking in the love of the audience.

Lo and the Lion

As Lo stood, she realized that she had worked up an incredible appetite.  All she could think of was food.

“Cartoon characters get hungry, I guess,” she thought to herself.

She looked at Tara, who was now walking towards her and she said, “Can we eat something?  I’m starved!”

Tara laughed and with the sound of her laugh, which struck Lo’s ears like the gentle, magical and musical cadence of a windchime in a gentle breeze, Lo slowly emerged back into flesh-and-blood.

“Why don’t you put your phone down?” said Tara, as if talking to a child.

Lo looked in her hands and saw her phone open to the “Danger Girl Dating” app.

She was naked on the bed.

Tara helped her up and asked, “Do you want your clothes?”

Lo heard the question.  She understood it, but it was difficult for her to form words.  She simply shook her head, ‘No.’

Art of Lo by Rigs Usually Hidden Drawings

Tara slowly led Lo down the stairs.  Lo was walking on two feet this time, not like on the way up.  All the guests looked up at the secret agent girl leading the naked and high girl to the living room.

Art of Lo as Leia by Rigs Usually Hidden Drawings

“Sit here,” said Tara to her docile, amused little love doll, assisting her into the large, comfy chair.  “I’ll be right back.  I’m just going to grab you some snacks.”  Off went Tara on her mission to grab some of the diced cheese cubes, crackers, and a little sparkling water for Lo.

Art of Lo as Leia by Rigs Usually Hidden Drawings

Sitting in the chair, zoning out, Lo saw Mr. Biggs across the room talking to a woman who was as large as, if not larger than, he!  She was dressed as Mrs. Roper from ‘Three’s Company,’ wearing nothing but a muumuu.  He saw Lo out of the corner of his eye.  (Apparently, he didn’t see her as a nude descending a staircase.)  He brought his new friend over to Lo and introduced them.  Lo couldn’t stand up.  It was all she could do to lift her arm and limply shake the woman’s hand.

“Nice to meet you.”  Forming words was difficult.

The woman smiled, while looking deeply into Lo’s eyes.  Lo was looking at the woman’s eyes, thinking about the Beatle’s song, “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.”  All she heard in her head was “the girl with kaleidoscope eyes.”  The sound looped around in her brain again and again.

Tara returned with cheese and crackers and literally had to feed Lo because Lo was unable to feed herself without making crumbs that fell into her naked lap.

Mr. Biggs apparently enjoyed the “show.”  He was staring intently at the feeding of Lo by Tara.

Mrs. Roper noticed this and before Lo knew what was happening, she found herself atop the large woman who was kneeling on the floor, naked, and lapping up Lo’s labia with her mouth.

Lo gets eaten out at a party

Whatever was happening to her, or being done to her, by the large woman upon whom she sat like on a hopper ball or bouncy ball, in Lo’s mind the woman morphed into a giant Cephalopoda of some undefined sort.  She was slippery and filling every hole all at once.  Lo slipped back into the “Danger Girl Dating” app and back into her “Catnip” alter-ego.

Krakin

The next thing she recalled was voices, seemingly from all directions, asking, “Is it ok if I touch you?” “May I feel you?” “Do you consent to being fucked by me?”

Unclear

Tara appeared in her trench coat and beret and said, “She cannot consent.  She’s tripping her face off on the desserts.”

The next thing she knew, Lo was in the bathtub, filled to the brim, with Tara, transformed into a cartoon as well, lying on top of her and an octopus or squid or something with tentacles lying on top of Tara, filling both her holes and both Lo’s holes at once.  It felt delightful as Lo reached around to squeeze Tara’s breasts.

Lo and Tara in the bath.

“What is happening?” asked Lo in her host’s ear.

Food for Thought

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The next morning the sun was streaming in the front windows across the living room where I was sleeping on the couch.  I was slightly roused from my slumbers by the aroma of coffee brewing, but I thought it was just a dream until Lola sauntered into the room holding two mugs of coffee and wearing only a t-shirt.  Her nipples were protruding from under the shirt and her pussy was on display.  She sat down next to me and placed my mug on the coffee table in front of me.

“Sorry Daddy,” was all she said.

I looked at her and said, “Lo, what happened last night?”

She proceeded to tell me that she met up with Mr. Biggs at their designated rendezvous spot, since his wife was at home with the baby.  She hopped in his car and he wasn’t in any costume.

She was surprised, but he assured her that his costume was in the trunk.  He drove them to the party and pulled out his costume that fit right over his clothes.  Lola suspected that it was custom made since he was already one of the largest men she had ever seen.  How could it be so large as to fit even over his clothes?  It was a Jabba the Hutt outfit, as he had promised, but it literally covered him from head to toe.  The mouth of the costume was an opening through which he could see.  Meanwhile, Lo was scantily clad in her Princess Leia slave girl outfit, exposing her tummy and also, if one gained a glimpse at her bikini bottom, her bushy pubic hair.

“Where’d you get that?” asked Lo.

“My wife made it for me,” he said from within the mask.

“Talented.  Did she make one for herself?”

“No.”

“Does she know you’re wearing it out with me.”

“Of course not.”

Lo shrugged her shoulders.

The theme of the Halloween party was popular TV shows and movies from the ʼ70s.  At the party, Lola spied a Barney Rubble and Betty, a gay “CHiPs” duo, a “Bewitched” couple, and a “Three’s Company” throuple, among others.  As Lo scanned the guests, one stood out for her – a woman wearing only a trench coat and a red beret.  Lo approached her, curious to find out which 1970s celeb she was supposed to be, but also trying to be tactful about it.

“I know,” said the woman even before Lo could ask, “who am I?”

“Well,” said Lo, “now that you mention it.”

“I’ll give you five guesses and four hints, if you need them.”

“OK.”

“Hint number one: The original aired in the sixties, but ended in the seventies.”

Lo thought, but that didn’t help her at all.  She guessed, “‘Brady Bunch’?”

“No, silly,” said the woman, affably.  “Hint number two: The show had a remake in 2008 as a movie.”

Lo pondered, “‘Charlie’s Angels’?”

“Warmer,” said the woman.

“Hint number three: “I am smarter than the star.”

Lo knew that this was somehow a big hint, but she still had difficulty.  “‘Pink Panther’?”

“Really, really close!  OK, hint number four: I’m a secret agent.”

“Inspector Gadget?”

The woman laughed and said, “I can see how you’d think that, but that’s from the eighties.  OK, I’ll give you one more hint.  Last chance!  I go by the name ninety-nine.”

“Oh, I know!” said Lo, “Ninety-nine from ‘Get Smart’!”

“You got it!”

“What do I win?”

The woman then opened her trench coat and let Lo see her totally naked body underneath.  Lo’s jaw dropped.  Her mouth salivated.  She felt wet between her legs.

Agent 99

“Your secret weapon,” quipped Lo.

“Not so secret,” said her new friend.  “Hi, I’m Tara.”

“Tara, like the goddess?”

“Yes, exactly.”

“Hi, I’m Lo.”

Tara looked Lo over approvingly, but Lo said, “Don’t be grossed out, I didn’t have time to shave.”

“What are you talking about grossed out?!  You’re gorgeous!”

“Well, I’m a little self-conscious,” said Lo, well aware of her protruding bush down below.

“Don’t be,” said Tara, “You can see, I left a little fluff down there too.”  Tara then flashed Lo once more.  Lo looked carefully this time, since it wasn’t a total shock to her.  She did see just a tuft of brown between Tara’s legs.

“Is Maxwell here?”

“Maxwell Smart – Agent 86?” asked Tara.  “No.  It’s just me.  A solo mission tonight.  I think I saw your date – Jabba the Hutt – earlier.”

“Can’t miss him,” said Lo.

“How long you two been together?” asked Tara.

“Second date,” said Lo.

“What?!”

“True.”  Then Lo told Tara the back story, about me, her, and how Lo likes to explore kinks, fetishes, taboos, and possibilities.  “What about you?” asked Lo.

“Well, funny you should mention your interest in kinks.”

“Why’s that?”

“This is my party – my kinky Halloween party.”

“This is your house?  I had no idea!”

“Yep.  Welcome!”

“You certainly are very hospitable.”

Just then Mr. Biggs approached Lola and Lo introduced him to her new friend Tara.

“I’ve been looking for you,” said Mr. Biggs.  “Let’s make sure I don’t lose you again.”  He proceeded to hook a leash to Lo’s collar and Lo then dropped to the floor in the Gorean Kajira slave position.  “That’s better,” said Mr. Biggs.”

Original art by Sergeii-g.

Lo looked up at Tara submissively.

Tara said to Mr. Biggs, “May I?” indicating that she wished to take the lead of the leash.

Mr. Biggs couldn’t say no.

Tara then led Lo, who crawled on all fours, to the upstairs bathroom.  People got a kick seeing Lo from behind as she crawled up the stairs.

In the bathroom, Tara said, “Shall we tidy you up?”  She indicated her shaving equipment.  Lo didn’t object.

Lo got out of her costume and stood before Tara, nude, while Tara prepared everything.  Tara then removed her only clothing – the trench coat and beret, and had Lo sit on the edge of the tub as Tara hopped in the tub, spread Lo’s legs, turned on the warm water, and began shaving Lo’s unruly bush.

A couple of times one of the guests happened to walk into the bathroom, which had the door wide open, only to find it occupied by the two naked water nymphs.

“It’s ok,” said Tara, “if you need to use the bathroom.  We don’t mind.”

No one took them up on it.

Tara grabbed Lo’s belly and pulled it up so that she could get a better angle on the triangular territory below to be trimmed.

“You’re beautiful,” said Tara.

“I’m trying to lose a few pounds I gained during the pandemic,” said Lo.

“Why?  This is hot,” said Tara, squeezing Lo’s roll.

Lo blushed.

Within a half hour, Tara had shaved Lo perfectly clean with her expert and steady hand.  Lo said, “Shall I return the favor?”

Tara, eager to prolong the intimate time with Lo, said, “I’d like that.”

They switched places and, with a few strokes of the wrist, Lo removed what little pubic hair remained at the nether point of Tara’s mons pubis.

The two of them rinsed, dried off, and then there was a knock at the door, even though the bathroom door was wide open.  It was Mr. Biggs.  How he managed to get up the stairs is a mystery.  It certainly involved struggle.  He was perspiring under his Jabba costume.

“Yes?” asked Tara.

“Just seeing that Lola’s ok.”

“I’m in good hands,” said Lo, looking at Tara who was cupping Lo’s breasts with her hands at that moment.

“You two look pretty there,” he said, stating the obvious.

“Oh yeah?” asked Tara, “Does the Hutt have a hard-on?”

“Help me out of this costume and you’ll find out.”

Lo and Tara walked with him to Tara’s bedroom where they helped him remove the elaborate getup.

He then removed his clothes.

“Lola tells me you have a feeder/feedie kink,” said Tara.

“Yes,” replied Mr. Biggs.

“Well, then, I’ll be right back.”

Quick as a flash, Tara sprinted out of the bedroom, down the stairs to the main party area in the living room and kitchen, her naked bum bouncing as she slid between all the costumed guests.  “A new outfit Tara?” said one of them.  “Let me guess, the Emperor’s New Clothes.”  She got a plate of chocolate covered strawberries, chocolate covered bananas, brownies, and dark chocolate in the shape of little pumpkins, and sped upstairs again.  A few people did double-takes as they saw the nude nymph dash past them and dart up the stairs.  “What’s going on up there?” asked one guest of another.

Tara smooth

Tara reentered the bedroom, catching Lola and Mr. Biggs in an intimate moment as he was leaning over in order to kiss Lo, who only came up to his chest.  Lo’s right hand was reaching for his small cock, hidden under the round, protruding roll that began over his waistline and flopped down, covering like a curtain his diminutive pecker.

“Hey you two,” said Tara, standing in the doorway, leaning up against the lintel of the door, her right leg resting on the frame, bent at the knee, and holding a plate of chocolate desserts dramatically, “hungry?”

“Mmmm,” moaned Lo, “What you got there?”

“Some sweets I made for the party.”

“You made these?!  They’re adorable!”

A Valentine’s Day treat package

Tara got on the bed – her bed – that was made very neat and tidy for the party.  She sat by the headboard with her legs spread.

Lo crawled on the bed like a leopard, slowly making her way to Tara’s tray of goodies.  Mr. Biggs stood behind Lo at the foot of the bed watching the show.  Tara held up a chocolate covered strawberry that had a white chocolate swirl around it.  Lo craned her neck to get a bite of the not-forbidden fruit.  Lo was able to grab it with her teeth and ate it.

Mr. Biggs was grabbing at his pud watching Lo eat the sweets.

Tara repeated the treat theater with a piece of the dark chocolate pumpkin.  Mr. Biggs liked what he saw.  He came around the side of the bed to get a better look.  He passed Lo a sealed condom that he apparently had been holding in his hand.

“Will you put it on?” he asked politely.

“I’ll try,” said Lo, looking up at his daunting frame.

“I’ll help,” said Tara.

Tara got under the large, drooping belly and lifted to allow Lo room to see and manipulate the condom.

“Reminds me of middle school,” said Lo, looking up at Mr. Biggs.

“Middle school?” asked Tara.

“I’ll tell you another time,” said Lo, enigmatically.

Lo was desperately trying to get the condom on the hard, but small penis.  Every time she thought she was successful, it fell off.

“Here,” said Tara, moving to one side, “you’re going to have to lie down on the bed.”

Mr. Biggs, embarrassed, but not surprised by the difficulty, got on the bed and rolled on his back.  His large stomach rested like a hump, allowing Lo more access.  The act of getting back on the bed had diminished his hard-on, so Lo put her mouth to his cock to revive it.  Tara held it for her.  Mr. Biggs’ pud grew in her hand and in Lo’s mouth and soon he was erect enough for Lo to slide on the condom.

Mr. Biggs stood up again and this time he stood by the middle of the bed.  Lo got back on all fours and Tara was on the other side of the bed, opposite Mr. Biggs.  She stood and fed Lo her snacks as if feeding a dog.

Mr. Biggs lifted his big belly and plopped it down on Lo’s ass, resting it there, as he grabber her by her hips and pulled her in so he could enter her from behind.  Once he was properly penetrating her, he let go of her hips and grabbed the leash to pull her back.

“Heel,” he said to Lo, as if talking to a dog.  “Heel.”  She pushed backwards with her ass, further enveloping his cock in her wet pussy.  She liked being treated like a bitch.

Tara said, “Want another treat?” to Lo, as if talking to a dog.  Lo licked her lips.  Tara fed Lo another strawberry.  Then Tara took the banana and held it between her legs as if it was her own cock and Lo took it in her mouth, demonstrating for Tara her talent for deep-throating.  Lo looked up at Tara as the banana went nearly all the way in her mouth.  She then pulled back and began eating the chocolate covered banana bite-by-bite.

This turned on Mr. Biggs so much that he was perspiring and breathing hard as he bounced his thick thighs off of Lo’s ass.

Unbeknownst to either Mr. Biggs or Lola, since their backs were to the door, some of the partygoers from downstairs had followed Tara’s naked butt up the stairs and were congregated by the door, watching the show.

Each deliciously decorated fruit fed to Lo brought Mr. Biggs closer to climax.  Lola, for her part, couldn’t even feel him in her, but she could feel his weight resting on her lower back and his hips hitting hers forcefully.

When all the food was gone, Lo pulled forward and rolled over onto her back, spreading her legs and raising them in the air so Mr. Biggs could enter her missionary style as Tara lowered her hips down on Lo’s face.  Lo licked Tara’s delicious labia and Mr. Biggs got a full view of Lo’s torso and all of Tara’s naked body as he slammed into Lo’s pussy with his pud.  Tara was too skinny for Mr. Biggs’ taste, but that didn’t stop him from admiring her body as her breasts bobbed up and down and as she pulled her nipples.

Lo could feel him only slightly more in the missionary position, but she sensed he was getting close to orgasm.  His thrusting increased in tempo and soon he was calling out as he grabbed Lo’s rolls and held on for dear life!

He suddenly tipped forward like a felled giant Sequoia.  He crashed down on Lo’s body as Tara cautiously backed up.  Poor Lo couldn’t even be seen under him anymore.  His full dead weight was upon her.  She struggled to whisper, “I can’t breathe.”  And she suffered a momentary panic attack as she thought that maybe he died and collapsed on her!

Luckily, he rolled off of her onto his back, breathing heavily, as was Lo after being released from the crushing weight.  At the sight of him, the people at the door scattered since the show seemed over.

Lo was feeling dizzy, lightheaded, and strange.  Had she nearly passed out when he was on her?  Everything seemed odd to her – sounds, her body, the ceiling as she looked up at it.

Tara caressed her forehead and the feel of her hand on Lo’s skin was nearly enough to bring Lo to a climax.

Lo pulled Tara down to her so that Lo could suck her tits.  Then she guided Tara’s body over her so that they were in a full-on sixty-nine on the bed.  Lo had never experienced anything like this.  Every inch of her body felt tingly and alive.  Her tongue probed and tasted Tara’s twat with the discerning sensitivity of a wine connoisseur finding the hints of oak and tints of sunset.  Lo didn’t know what was happening to her, but she liked it.

She felt Tara’s tongue protruding in her own hole as if the tentacle of a horny Cephalopod.  Suddenly Lo imagined she was under water, making love to and being made love to multiple sea anemones.  It was blissful!

Lola lost herself in an orgy of tentacles and wave after wave of intense orgasms as Tara’s pussy around her face felt like she was diving into the cunt of a kraken as it swallowed her with its enormous mouth.  Lo was suddenly swimming inside Tara as if ingested by her fluctuating, full vulva.

Lola dove in!

Emerging from the many leagues under the ‘C’ of Tara’s cunt, from between her wet legs, Lo came up for air.

“What is going on?” she asked out loud.

“What?” inquired Tara.

“The room is spinning – and breathing.”

“Lola, you know that I’m a cannabis confectioner, right?  All those chocolate strawberries and bananas you ate were infused with THC.”

“I had no idea, but I suddenly feel like Alice in Wonderland!”

“Oh boy,” said Tara, “you’re going to be feeling pretty strange for a while.”

Lola’s Lips are Sealed

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“Lola,” called her sister as Lo was getting dressed, “no panties today.”  Robie sat in the bed and watch Lo as she was reaching into her underwear draw.  This request, or command, was not unusual for Robie to make.  Lo looked at her sister and then moved on to pulling out socks from her top drawer.  She chose white with a pattern of little pairs of red cherries.  She went to her closet and pulled down a white and green dress.  Her pigtails were already neatly tied with green bow ribbons.

“Come here,” said her sister.

Lo walked to the bed, carrying her clothes for the day.

Robie reached into the nightstand next to her side of the bed.  She pulled out a handful of wooden clothespins.  She kept a drawer full of them to spice up sex with her boyfriends and for personal use.  But this time she told Lo to stand before her.

“Spread your legs.”

Lo spread.

Robie took one clothespin at a time in her right hand.  With her left hand she squeezed Lo’s labia together, making the lips bulge, and then she applied the clothespin to the two tightly pressed lips together.  She did this a total of six times, causing tears to form in Lo’s eyes.  Between Lo’s legs a straight line of wooden clothespins hung down, compressing Lo’s vagina together.  Not that Lo needed this at all, but this was Robie’s punishment for Lo’s indiscretion of yesterday when she unconsciously moved her index finger to her pussy and stroked her smooth slit while the three guys fucking Robie looked on with intense interest.

“You are to wear these all day at school.  Only when you get home will you be allowed to remove them.  No.  You will come to me and beg me to remove them for you.  If they fall off, you replace them.  Immediately!”

“Yes, Robie,” said Lo obediently.  The pain was excruciating, but it did not outstrip the secret enjoyment of pleasing her older sister.

Lo slipped into her dress and walked to the kitchen to eat breakfast.  It hurt to walk.  It hurt to sit.  It hurt to stand up.

The pain between her legs while she rode the bus to school nearly made Lo pass out with every jarring bump.

At school she couldn’t concentrate at all.  Her entire mental focus was directed between her legs.  Occasionally, she dropped her right hand down below the desk and up between her legs and flitted her fingers across the tips of the clothespins, making them jiggle.  She was praying that none of them slipped off in the middle of class.

And then it was gym period.  There was absolutely no way she was going to go into the girls’ locker room, remove her dress and put on her tight, white shorts!  Even if she could do that without everyone seeing her clothespins, there was no way she could easily conceal them under the shorts, let alone play volleyball or badminton or whatever the day’s activities were.

 

She went to the gym teacher and said she wasn’t feeling well.  The gym teacher looked at her askance and sent her to the school nurse.

At the nurse’s office, she entered shyly and explained that she wasn’t up to playing in gym.  The nurse went through a series of questions: Stomachache?  Headache?  Fever?  To all of which, Lo responded, “No,” shaking her head and dangling her pigtails.  The nurse took her temperature.  Normal.  The nurse asked her to have a seat and, when Lo sat extremely gingerly on the hard, plastic chair, the nurse asked if the problem was “down there,” pointing between Lo’s legs.  Lo turned a bright red!

School Nurse

The nurse asked to lift up Lo’s dress.  Lo didn’t know what to say.  She acceded to the request.  When the nurse saw the row of wooden clothespins pinching Lo’s pussy lips together, she gasped in horror!  “What is this?!  Who did this to you?  Why are you wearing these?” she asked in rapid succession as she removed the clips.

“Lola, show me.”

Lo was speechless.  She could not turn in her beloved sister.  So she lied.  She said her mother told her to wear them to school.

“Why ever would she do that?” asked the nurse, alarmed, but trying to sound soothing for Lo.  The nurse reached into her drawer and pulled out some ointment.  She put on her rubber gloves and applied the ointment to Lo’s nether region, gently rubbing the moist, cooling gel into Lo’s labia.  Lo liked the feeling and liked the nurse.

Lo tried to speak, but she couldn’t.  She just shrugged her shoulders and asked the nurse to keep rubbing in the ointment.  “It feels good,” she said, totally unaware of how that sounded to the nurse.

The nurse stopped rubbing and told Lo to pull her dress back down, covering her triangle, as the nurse stepped out.  Of course she called the principal.  The administration of the school alerted the authorities.  The Department of Children and Family Services was called and within days a full-fledged investigation was underway.

For years, Lo though that the reason her older sister was sent off to boarding school in Europe was because her father didn’t like Robie’s “slutty” behavior with the boys.  She believed that Robie had been caught with a boy in the house.  She suspected it might be that they feared for Robie in some way.  But she didn’t know that it was because DCFS had discovered the source of Lo’s torment and the Department threatened to take Robie from the family and put her in foster care or a special psychiatric ward.  There was literally no other place for her to go in America to be outside the reach of the authorities and so her parents, in a last-ditch effort to keep Robie in the family, sent her to boarding school abroad, leaving Lo alone and bereft of her sister until, well, you know the rest.

Lola worships her sister Robie

Interview with Author, Dominatrix, and F-Girl Emme Witt-Eden

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This week our good friend and talented writer, Emme Witt-Eden, a.k.a. “Mysterious Witt,” became a full-fledged author with the publication of her memoir: Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl. (You can read our review here.)

She was generous enough to sit down with us for an interview about the book, writing, marriage, and of course, sex.

Promo for Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl

 

L – Congrats on your new book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl! And thank you for letting me (or us – me and my man, H.H.) read it ahead of time to write a review. We loved it! We each devoured it in about three days. When we got together to talk about it, we devoured each other. What a sexy ready. But it’s also so personal – I mean, it is a memoir after all. Since it is a memoir, as opposed to an autobiography, it only portrays a sliver of your life – from the time your marriage fell apart to your emerging as a self-aware, self-confident f-girl. Tell us how you’d characterize yourself in your marriage and before. I mean, in the memoir you say you “claimed” your sexuality, not “reclaimed it,” because you felt like you never actually had it to begin with, but what was your sexuality (real and fantasy life) like before?

EWE – Ha-ha! I wouldn’t characterize myself as a completely self-confident f-girl in my book. I was still suffering from quite a bit of insecurity and was working my way through this throughout the entirety of the book. But I did definitely find myself again through sex, even though I still met with other challenges, such as some bad matches in bed and a guy who totally broke my heart.

But back to the other part of your question. I would say that my sexuality has fluctuated quite a bit throughout my life. I was very prude and full of shame in my younger life, even if I had sex for the first time at 15. I really didn’t enjoy penetration and a lot of it was because I felt like I was doing something bad. I come from a very conservative family and sex was always framed as something that I was giving up to a man who would use me if I wasn’t careful (and prude). And even after I got married, I should still feel shame surrounding sex, because my parents definitely treated their sex life – or what I knew about their sex life – in that way. Sex was something to hide at all costs, they were not going to talk to me about it, and I was not allowed to ask about it. I hate to say, but as I came into my own as a young woman, I suffered quite a bit from the mother wound, meaning my mother had a very negative view of sex, and I, sadly, adopted that.

I only started to open up – sexually speaking – when I became a dominatrix after college (pre-marriage!). But I didn’t see that job as sexual. I thought domming was just about treating men like garbage. (If you’d like to learn more about this era of my life, please read my newsletter The Accidental Dominatrix.) Nevertheless, my job as a pro-domme helped me deal with some of my shame. Little by little, my body image improved, and I started to explore myself sexually. And yet, during that time, I still maintained the belief that I had to keep my body count low or no man would ever want to commit to me. I did not embrace, nor did I completely own my sexuality, in that era, though I was on my way to getting there. This is why I say that I only finally “claimed” my sexuality after I left my first husband, as even when I was working in the sex industry as a dominatrix, I was still quite prude and felt like I was always at the mercy of men whom I let have so much control over me emotionally.

Fortunately, after my divorce, I finally worked through these issues. Finally, I was able to enjoy sex just for sex – and that was incredibly liberating! In that regard, I say that I finally “claimed” my sexuality. I hope that makes sense.

And…. to fully answer your question, I would say that I did have some BDSM fantasies even when I was working as a pro-domme. I had the desire to be dominated, but for the reasons I explained, I wasn’t ever able to experience it in a satisfying way. Back then, kink wasn’t viewed as it is today, as this fun thing that’s pretty benign, just a way to spice up sex. Back then (this was the 90s), kink was seen as a pathology. Though I had kink fantasies, when I would tell my lovers about them, they always thought I had some sort of mental issue. This was extremely painful and I’m very glad that we’re much more open today about the healthy, normal reality of kink.

A little cross-endorsement from Emme Witt-Eden

L – You’ve been in the lifestyle for some time now. As I recall, you used to not show your face in your posts on Medium.com and other social media, but now you do. Does this mean you’re “out” to your friends and family? And, I guess most importantly, does your ex-husband David know about this memoir?

EWE – Yes, you’re right, there was a time when I didn’t show my face because I was very keen on protecting my family from scandal. LOL. But seriously, I have kids whom I wanted to protect. I was also protecting my conservative family from embarrassment and pain. I’ve already been told that I’ve hurt my family. Quite a few of my family members know about my dominatrix past. It’s just so much pressure on me to feel like I’m bringing people so much pain just for exploring and writing about my own sexuality. I know this sounds crazy! But to make everyone happy and to keep the peace I once decided to hide my identity.

Not just that, there’s a part of me that likes privacy. I have a social life with other parents from my kids’ school and I just don’t feel like having to explain some of my life choices to these people. And I think many of us are like this. We have a face we show one set of friends and colleagues and a face we show another. We might have a professional face that we show our workplace friends, but they don’t know what goes on in our bedroom. I’ve happened to have chosen to make a profession out of what goes on in my bedroom and so it’s created this tension. A lot of people are simply not the appropriate recipients of the spicy news of my sex life. So, when they find out about it, I have to first listen to their judgments, and then decide whether we’re going to continue to be friends. This has basically resulted in me having much fewer friends, because, as a rule, people are very close-minded.

A couple of years ago, when I decided to show my face, several things had happened. I realized that I wasn’t going to get ahead in my writing career unless I started revealing what I look like. And when I did, I knew I would lose people. And so I basically had to get to the point where I was so tired of hiding parts of myself that I realized it was better to lose everyone. I’m just not interested in perpetuating the balancing act of ensuring certain people like me by hiding so much of myself. I’m finally ready to own up to who I am and that’s why I started showing my face. Of course, I still write under a pseudonym for now. Part of that is to just protect myself from trolls. It’s a crazy world out there, I’ll tell ya. Oh, and David does know I’ve written about him. He doesn’t care enough about my writing to give a crap, though. God, I’m glad we’re divorced.

L – Are your kids old enough to know about your “alternative” lifestyle? Have you told them or did they find out? Or will you be telling them at some appropriate time?

EWE – My kids still aren’t old enough and it’s really not appropriate for me to talk about it with them. However, my second husband, the man whom I’m currently married to, really applauds the way that I talk about sex with my kids. I’m very open and I talk about sex in a very calm and clinical manner. I don’t clam up and feel shame or tell my kids to stop asking questions. My current husband wasn’t like that with his kids and so he looks at my openness as this wonderful thing. I am able to guide my children as they learn about their sexuality, and I can do this in an open and honest way. And that is the result of the life I’ve led. But when the time is right, when my children older, I will tell them more about my life. I no longer feel shame. I’ve led the life I have because I’m curious and felt like a major part of my humanity was basically off-limits to me because I’m a female. I simply decided to explore those taboo territories. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Emme Witt-Eden

L – In the book you mention taking a creative writing class (and crushing on the professor). Would you workshop your erotic stories in the class, or did you keep it PG for the other students (and the hot professor)?

“Hey Emme, where you going?”
“My creative writing class.”

EWE – Hells no, I never workshopped my erotic stories in class. But I was writing a novel about the implosion of my marriage. It was basically a thinly veiled memoir, and a couple of those chapters did make it into Confessions, though in different form. I published a lot of the other stories under a different account on Medium. Yep, I get around… But no, I have never workshopped my erotic stories, and honestly, even my novelized stories have scandalized people. Sometimes I really hate other writers. I find writers to be the most conservative group of creative people. Musicians and visual artists are so much more chill.

L – What inspired you to turn your shorter works of writing into a book-length memoir?

EWE – Once again, I felt like I could get farther ahead in my career by actually having a book. A book gets people’s attention the way shorter pieces don’t, even though my shorter pieces have been quite lucrative. But writing a book is also a huge risk. If a shorter piece bombs, it’s no big deal, you just write another one. If a book bombs, then you’ve spent quite a while writing it and that sucks. Fingers crossed this project does well.

L – Care to share some of your favorite authors and/or books?

EWE – In the last year, I’ve been reading a lot of Annie Ernaux, Virginie Despentes, and Guadalupe Nettel. In my heart, I’m a literary fiction fanatic. Oh, and Maggie Nelson’s books are the bomb.

L – Care to share some of your favorite erotic authors and/or books and/or porn?

EWE – I like Japanese porn a lot because the actors tend to look like they’re actually enjoying the action, instead of just acting for the camera. American porn is so histrionic with the actors acting so fake, continually looking toward the camera because they know they’re being filmed. It’s obvious it’s a performance, and as a female, that’s a turn-off for me. Men probably don’t notice it, but I do. I’m not sure how you categorize your Match, Cinder & Spark series, but your man, HH, writes some of the best erotica I’ve read! And the photos and art of you are – well, let’s just say “inspiring”!

Emme Witt-Eden getting off to Match, Cinder & Spark, Volume V: Shorter Shorts, in public. An author, avid erotica reader, dominatrix, and exhibitionist!

L – I noticed in the memoir that, with all the f-girl shenanigans you got up to, there was no girl-on-girl, anal, bondage, or water sports. You make it very known in the book what you do and don’t like. Are those not on your kinks list or did you grow into them later?

EWE – Oh, there was a little bit of bondage in the first chapter of Confessions. You’ll have to wait for the girl-on-girl action for the new book I’m writing. In terms of anal, that’s not something that I typically engage in as a hookup, so there wasn’t much in this book. Luckily, my current husband is the one who gets to enjoy having his dick up my ass. In terms of water sports, that’s something I explored as a dominatrix but honestly, I’m not really into that.

L – What advice, if any, would you give to young married mothers who are in committed, but rather unstimulating relationships, somewhat like you were in just at the start of the memoir?

EWE – My advice? Well, they committed to this guy for a reason, so they might as well make the best of it. I would advise doing everything they can not to let the passion die. I would schedule date nights and sex. A lot of people don’t like to schedule sex because they think that’s not romantic. Well, this is just the way it is once you get married and have kids. We can no longer drop everything and have sex whenever we want. So schedule sex. Don’t, and watch the passion fizzle away.

Then again, if you’ve tried everything and it’s still not working out, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with considering a divorce. That or an open marriage. Non-monogamy is no longer perceived as the crazy thing it once was, so I think it’s a great way to deal with mismatched libidos

L – Any bucket list goals you hope to achieve this year?

EWE – I really want to get the sequel of this book done!

L – What can we expect from future publications by you?

EWE – You can expect my second book in this series: Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-girl in Costa Rica. And then my third: Diary of a Middle-Aged Sugar Baby.

L – Thanks Emme! We cannot wait to see those books come out as well as a prequel about your time as a dominatrix!!!

You can find Emme Witt-Eden, a.k.a. Mysterious Witt here:

F-girl dating Instagram: @mysterious_witt

Kinky consultant Instagram: @emmewitteden

www.emmewitt.com

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