Tag Archives: Sex
Interview With a Sex Addict
Interview with a Sex Addict
This week, we bring out our resident admitted and diagnosed sex addict, AL, who goes by “Al.” He graciously agreed to answer a few questions about sex addiction, for educational purposes. Lo enthusiastically put on her correspondent’s had (and nothing else) and went to work interviewing him and then, took off the newsgirl hat and teased him, as she does.
- How do you define “sex addict”?
Without Googling, I define a sex addict as someone who compulsively engages in sexual behaviors, despite any negative effects created by said behaviors. They’ve shaped/changed their arousal palette, neural pathways, and reward center to release that sweet, sweet dopamine when engaging in their desired sexual behaviors, even if those behaviors result in negative consequences affecting self, family/friends, job, etc.
- Do you consider yourself a sex addict?
Yes, and if not a sex addict—then definitely addicted to lusting after HH/Lo’s pictures and words! Some days I’ll wake up with Lo on my mind and even though I could just stroke right there and cum—I’d much rather click through her pictures and read their words, first.
- Tell me more. How did you come to the conclusion that you are a sex addict?
Obviously, I was living life under the self-delusion that I just had high sex drive and a wandering eye. But after multiple therapists—which were a waste of time in the beginning since I never was actually honest about the extent of my situation—I had one in particular suggest that maybe I have a sex addiction. She also stated that it wasn’t her expertise, so she couldn’t help me in the way I needed. After some reading and podcasts, I reached out to a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and decided to “come clean,” which coincided with my “rock bottom.” It was through her that I was diagnosed as having a sex addiction.
- Tell me what “rock bottom” meant for you since we all have different bottoms (no pun intended).
What I mean by rock bottom…long story, short: I racked up multiple thousands of dollars on credit cards in my name (via webcam girls, buying girls things, etc.); I was constantly checking sites like PornHub, Xvideos, eFukt, mysexlifewithlola.com; stopping by strip clubs for lap dances; even seeking out guys with whom to share naked photos/videos of my wife; seeking escorts for random encounters; cheating on my (then) fiancée with girls that she hated.
- You’re married to a beautiful, sexy woman. How’s that relationship?
Yes, she is very beautiful and sexy. We’ve been married five years, and together for over ten. We’ve definitely experienced our share of ups and downs. It’s the downs that seem to linger, but that is part of the work. She picked up on some red flags but continued on (as did I). Historically, she hasn’t had a ‘high’ (or medium for that matter) sex drive, and mistakenly, I used to ascribe a lot of the blame on her for my acting out. That was wrong of me. Part of the process involved a ‘disclosure’ of all events/actions that I had hidden away—that was difficult, borderline catastrophic. I ended up making it worse by not being completely honest during my first disclosure, meaning I didn’t come clean to all the details until a second disclosure months later.
Ironically, we’re closer and more strategic (in a non-sexual way) with our relationship now that I’m in recovery. She also sees a therapist who is familiar with partner betrayal (which is very important, or else sometimes the partner receives an unfair share of shame and blame). She doesn’t fully understand (can anyone, really?) but she’s working hard, as am I (sometimes). We do not have sex often, as I’m sure one might wonder…in fact, I’m lucky if it’s once a week and not a quickie. I can see that a day doesn’t go by where it doesn’t hurt her, but life is complicated, and the goal is to be in a better spot than we were.
[Trigger Warning – non-consent]
- Did you have any formative sexual experiences in early life?
Yes. At age 3 or 4, my next-door neighbor—who was around 5- or 6-year-old—introduced me to kissing and touching. She would take me in to the closet and show me first-hand what she must have been introduced to by whomever was (sadly) showing her. Additionally, when I was six, I had a handful of experiences involving my cousin (same age) and her friend, “trying to be like adults.”
I would also add that access to pornography at a young age was formative in itself. The internet really changed things, as well. I grew up in an unstable household; I sought pleasure and seclusion. Given those needs and that environment, it’s no wonder to me that I latched on to the pleasures of ‘sex’ to escape.
- Best sexual experience?
This is a tricky one…my best sexual experience would most likely be with one of my exes— she was amazing in bed…always wanted to fuck, loved to swallow, and LOVED doing it in public places. I think we were at some random party and their bathroom suited us just fine!
- Worst sexual experience?
Is that possible? JK. One of the worst experiences would be one of my first escort experiences. The situation was shady AF, which only prevented me from getting (and remaining) hard. I hadn’t experienced that before, and it was awkward. I remember desperately trying to squeeze my flaccid condom-covered cock inside of her. She understood, but I ended up having to settle for a hand job.
- Who knows of your addiction, if anyone?
As it stands right now, five people are aware of my addiction: my counselor, my wife, my wife’s best friend, one of my closest friends from high school, and oddly enough, one of my professors from my first year back at school. I’ve debated sharing with my brother (I think he has some similar issues) and my 14-year-old son.
- How long have you been in treatment for sex addiction? And do you feel it has worked?
I’ve been in treatment for 3+ years now with a CSAT. It definitely helped me become more aware. I’m sure there are workbooks, strict plans, etc. Before disclosure, we simply identified the really ‘bad’ behaviors (escorts, strip clubs, webcam girls) and put in mitigation efforts (GPS tracking on phone, website filters on phone and laptop). That’s actually the easy part. The hard part is the act of disclosure (if you’re honest enough), and all of the ‘work’ when no one is looking—that’s where the real gains can be made (or lost).
- What would you say to people reading this who are asking themselves: Am I a sex addict or do I just have a healthy sexual appetite?
I would say: enjoy sex. I personally see it as a life enhancer (similar to good food or music); however, if things start getting bad and you’re hiding a lot from people, that can spiral and add so much (unnecessary) stress. Long story short, if there are bad things happening because of one’s sexual appetite, then one should at least look at their impact and see if any adjustments should be made. Life is much more fun being authentic!
- Have you ever met a female sex addict? If so, describe what that interaction was like?
I’ve only read about and been told about them, never meeting one in person. I know they’re out there, but the stereotypical addict seems to fall on males and the partner role is assumed to be female.
- Why do you think sex addiction has become such a popular topic lately?
I think it’s because sex sells and some people look at it as a crutch or excuse to do what they do. (Which is fine, unless you’re causing unnecessary damage as a result of it.)
- Have you read any literature out there about sex addicts or sex addiction? If so, what do you recommend?
Facing the Shadow, Patrick Carnes
“Sex Help with Carol the Coach” (podcast)
“Behind Closed Doors” with Dr. Kate Balestrieri (podcast)
- Would you prefer if you were not a sex addict? Why or why not?
I like being who I am, and I like what I’m into. What I’d prefer is being upfront with significant others, and saying: “Hey, this is me…like it or leave it.” I think I grew up in shitty situations, so I’d use sex, love, flirting, etc. as my drug. Throw in the internet, and being someone who is good at lying, and that’s a potent combination.
- Biggest trouble that sex addiction got you into?
This list is ongoing, but you’re only in trouble if you get caught! (JK) Gigantic credit card bills…I’m a sucker for spoiling a slut or camgirl, lol. Racking those up was the primary driver in hitting my bottom.
- You seem to be successful at your job and still married and a parent. Is there such a thing as a “high functioning” sex addict like there is for a “high functioning alcoholic”? Describe.
Actually, I do think there is such a thing. I was so intrigued by this question, that I even asked it of my counselor—she agreed. Part of being a high functioning sex addict would require being able to compartmentalize almost anything and any time. In doing so, you’re able to build a rationale on the matter. I also know the things I cannot do—although I want to: the strip clubs, seeing escorts, flirting with a slut. And so I am able to navigate the decisions I make, and the steps I take to cover up those decisions if they are of the variety that would ‘give me away.’
- Pros and cons of being a sex addict?
Pros: Good ol’ fashioned dopamine at a relatively inexpensive cost (not including the externalities); typically, a more open, and inclusive mind… Cons: Can be relationship killer, money-drainer, and/or source of depression if not approached correctly (is there a correct way? Asking for a friend, lol).
- Top five fantasy fucks?
#1 – You!
#2 – An all-night bang session with my wife and her best friend.
#3 – Be part of a gangbang…with some amateur local wife.
#4 – DVP (Double Vaginal Penetration, or two penises in the vagina) with my wife.
#5 – You!
- Sexual experience you haven’t had yet but would like to try?
I’ve always wanted to try a threesome, both MMF and MFF. Also, I’ve ALWAYS wanted to share my wife…I can think of multiple scenarios involving her…me watching, not watching, listening, being shown, etc.
- Bonus question: From what you know of me, do you think I’m a sex addict?
From what I’ve gathered, and if analyzed with the actual truths, I do. But do I think there are huge negative consequences affecting you? Probably not, given our society.
After our interview was over, Lo was naughty and engaged in the following interaction:
Lola: I wonder how your jacking off to me plays into your current recovery and relationship with your wife. For instance, what happens when I send you a photo like this?
AL: Besides the mini dopamine rush and flinch of my cock? Or, are you looking for how many times I’ve already clicked on the picture, to enlarge and admire it?
Lola: I like to know that you think about me when you stroke that lovely cock of yours to my photos. Now write about that experience. Include where your wife is. How you keep this solo session from her? How it makes you feel? How I make you feel?
AL: Right now, my wife’s sleeping next to me naked. I’m in the bed, hard as a rock, looking at your photos. To tell the truth, I forgot how hard I get reading about you; way harder than looking at porn, that’s for sure.
All solo getting off has to be done on the sly for me. My wife and I have a soft agreement that I’m supposed to inform her when I ‘take care of myself.’. . . I often seek out your photos to simply admire and your stories to see what you’re up to, but. . . one thing leads to another. I don’t always tell my wife when I got off alone and I certainly don’t disclose what I looked at/thought about, especially when it was you. But these behaviors do cause me to develop a guilt factor when I’m wanting to take care of myself—which I don’t necessarily like.
I am fully aware that you don’t help my addiction. However, I am also aware that I have needs too, and my mind is fully capable of rationalizing the fact that getting off to your pictures is a lot safer than the ‘acting out’ behaviors I used to engage in.
Keeping you – your pictures and your stories – hidden away from my therapist and my wife certainly doesn’t help my situation, but, as long as I am careful and respectful, it doesn’t necessarily hurt. I like to think it keeps me in somewhat of a steady-state (which I think is only possible because of the fact that I am ‘high-functioning’ sex addict, as you called it). Deep down, I know that these are behaviors that need to change in order to fully ‘recover.’ But I have to ask myself two things: “Is recovery what I really want?” and “Where’s the fun in that?”
Lola: So you’re saying that getting off to me is what we might call ‘harms reduction’?
AL: That’s an interesting take, but yes, sort of a lesser of two evils (although you’re not evil; naughty, yes, but not evil as far as I know, haha). It’s kind of like, I know it is still reinforcing neural pathways that I’m trying to change, but still I pursue that behavior because of my brain’s ability to rationalize and compartmentalize.
Lola: Thought experiment – what would happen if you were married to me and I constantly had guys (and gals) coming over in order to cum over, in, on, to, with, and for me and you were there to watch? Would that be a cure?
AL: Now that just sounds hot! If that scenario were real, and guys and girls were coming over to cum with, in, and on you, then I think I’d be in my happy place, as long as you (as my wife) wanted it, and so did I. (I do, btw, I very much do!)
Crisscross
It was Labor Day weekend. The COVID numbers were down low. Lo Down’s libido was up high. She always wants summer to last forever, but this particular year she was fearing the worst about the fall and winter. Predictions were dire. After her relaxed restrictions with MILF Meri and the brothers, she was increasingly feeling like a cornered animal as the days grew shorter.
Though her camping trip with MILF Meri and her son was way more than she had anticipated and it resulted in a couple of weeks of added anxiety, it seemed that the whole matter had just blown over. She and Meri had been in frequent communication together, trying to suss out implications of their rendezvous. Nothing seemed to come of it, to their great relief.
At the same time, they had been conspiring to create a way for Lo to politely bow out of her irregularly scheduled, but frequent, meetings with the brothers and for Meri to have an extramarital affair that could fulfill her desire for young, virile, and large cock, without her having to look too close to home. Occam’s Razor – simply swap Meri for Lo as the brothers’ playmate of choice and Lo for Meri at home. But the best laid fans require groundwork. Lo and Meri set their minds to pulling off the switcheroo. The opening gambit was introductions.
A backyard barbeque, socially distant, with only a few select guests presented itself as the most appropriate, convenient, and expeditious option. To our little affair, Lo invited the brothers and Meri.
You might recall that the last time the brothers had paid a booty-call to Lo, they brought over a little something. After they left, I said to Lo, “That sure is a big package.”
“Whose, Gary’s or Roy’s?” Lo asked.
“Whichever one left it.” I still don’t know who is who. It’s not like we engage in any actual conversation when they come over to pay a visit. That is, when they pay a visit to cum over Lo.
“Oh,” sung Lo, “that package. I thought you were talking about something else.”
The brothers had left something on the living room coffee table before they abruptly left.
“You know Lo,” I said, thinking about the way they treat her, “those two had better not go into the stock market.”
“What makes you say that?” she asked, picking up the big box and looking at it with curiosity.
“Because their only technique is classic pump and dump.”
“Funny,” she said with sarcasm.
“And you had better get out of the stock market.”
“What?” she asked, confused.
“You cause things to get over heated and that leads to dangerous inflation.”
“You are taxing the economic analogies,” she said.
“And you’re a quick wit.”
“And a faster fuck.”
“What’s in the box?” I asked, returning to the large item on the coffee table.
Lo picked it up, shook it, and then slowly slid off the top.
“Oh, look at that! The brothers’ mother sent over a little thank you gift.”
“Is it a large box of condoms?”
“No, silly. Besides, it would be a box of large condoms for those two!”
“Then what is it?”
Out of the box she pulled a hefty blue glass vase.
“Isn’t that sweet,” I said, “a wide receptacle in which to place long stems.”
“Enough of the single-entendre. There’s a note. ‘Dear Lola, Thank you so much for all your care and concern for my boys. They have told me how sweet you are to them and, as their mother, I appreciate it.’ That was nice.”
“Little does she know how sweet you are to them!”
“Let’s hope so,” said Lo.
We hadn’t seen them since then. Lo was busy with her MILF Meri. And the brothers, well, who knows what those boys were up to.
But now Lo and Meri had it all perfectly choreographed. The brothers were to join and finally meet MILF Meri who had been keen to bed them ever since Lo hatched this plan. Matchmakers’ schemes rarely ever come off without a hitch and this was no exception. As if still attached to his mother by the umbilical cord, MILF Meri’s youngest son, the one who tagged along for Lo and Meri’s camping weekend, also came, uninvited, to the BBQ. As if that wasn’t bad enough to upend Lo and Meri’s machinations, Roy or Gary (I still can’t tell them apart, though they’re not identical twins or even twins at all!) brought his girlfriend, unannounced. The young, innocent doe was everything Lo despises in a female competitor (and let’s face it, she views almost all females as competitors). The girlfriend was a thin waif with long blonde hair, big blue eyes, and she was quite young – still in high school. She wore a cutoff t-shirt, proudly displaying her midriff and navel piercing, almost displaying her underboob, and she wore tight blue denim shorts (fashionably ripped and faded of course), and flip-flops.
The moment she walked into the back yard with one of the brothers, I could see Lo’s soul fuming, even as Lo pleasantly said, “No, it’s not a problem at all that you came. What’s your name?” The word façade is from the word face and Lo’s face was a true façade – concealing her inner green-eyed slayer.
“Ell, short for Ella. Everyone calls me Ell,” she said with a bubbly, vapid smile.
“And you’re whose girlfriend?” I asked, impolitely, reinforcing the interchangeability of the siblings in my mind.
“Gary’s, of course,” she said, grabbing his arm. I took note that Gary was wearing a blue shirt and Roy wore a black shirt.
“I see. How long have you been dating?” I asked, offering them a drink.
“No alcohol,” called Lo over her shoulder as she eavesdropped on our conversation. “She’s not old enough.”
I passed Ell a ginger ale.
“We started dating just before COVID. It’s been so difficult,” she complained, “because his mother has been so strict about him and Roy seeing anyone. We’ve only been able to meet in person once or twice since then and all without his mother’s knowledge.”
“Please don’t say anything about her being here today, HH,” requested Gary. Those were, perhaps, the most words he had ever spoken to me, though he had been banging Lola all through COVID, along side his brother.
“Oh, I can keep a secret. Rest assured,” I replied, well aware that his trysts with Lo were a secret to innocent, young Ell as well as his ever-watchful and protective mother.
“Thanks,” said Ell, flirtatiously with me. It was transparently obvious that she was trying to use her sex-appeal to get me on her side. “And you’re Lola’s father?” was her follow-up question.
Before I could answer, either affirmatively or negatively, she added in her bubbly attempt at charm, “I can see the resemblance.”
“Now you’re just flattering me,” I said. Luckily, Lola was out of earshot and neither Roy nor Gary let on otherwise. I think they were dumbstruck, metaphorically scratching their heads at Ell’s inappropriate and incorrect question and my hesitance to disabuse her of the notion. I winked at the boys, including them in my little ruse. If they were going to implicitly include me in their deception of Ell, then they owed me an old man’s little joke.
MILF Meri approached and introduced herself and her son, as if he needed her to do everything for him. He too was still in high school.
“You’ll excuse me,” I said, “I have to get the food ready. I’m sure you all have lots in common.” I knew very well that the one thing they all had in common was that they all had fucked Lo, with the exception of Ell, who was in the dark about it all.
MILF Meri was wearing a long, flowy orange skirt with a sexy slit that originated at her waist. She wore a tight tank-top with a bra that accentuated her cleavage. I wondered if her son knew that she was attending this party specifically to seduce the brothers.
“Looks like you have some rearranging to do,” I said when I met Lo in the kitchen.
“What do you mean?”
“MILF Meri has her horny son hanging on her and Gary brought a third-wheel who’s not you.”
“I’m never the third wheel,” she protested. “If anything, I’m the hub at the center.”
“You mean the hole that fits the axle?”
“Whatever. I’m a well-oiled machine.”
“With lots of horsepower.”
She laughed and said, “Do you think you can distract Shell?”
“Shell?” I asked. “Her name is Ell.”
“Whatever,” said Lo dismissively, “she’s a shell of a person.”
“Just because she’s young, blonde, stick-skinny, and flirting with me doesn’t mean. . .”
“Flirting with you?!”
“Yes. Is that so surprising? You should know better than anyone that I am irresistibly attractive to younger women.”
“Get out of here before I turn you into a gelding!” she said, raising the knife she was using to cut the tomatoes.
I quickly left with a laugh and returned to our company in the backyard. Soon after, Lo emerged with a plate of appetizers.
“Help yourselves. HH will fire up the grill and take your orders,” she said cheerfully.
I fulfilled my hosting role, as instructed, and Lo disappeared back inside. Little did I know at the time that Gary had followed her, leaving his girlfriend to talk to me while I put the meat over the flame.
“I wish you had told me you were bringing Ell,” said Lo to Gary, reproachfully.
“I’m sorry Lo, but she insisted. I couldn’t say no.”
“You couldn’t? It’s not your house. You could have just said that it’s an invitation-only party and she wasn’t invited.”
“It’s not as simple as that,” said Gary, meekly.
“What is it, then?”
“Well, I was hoping she’d meet you.”
“Me? Why?”
“Well,” he began without confidence, “she’s just not like you.”
“Few women are. Few men are, for that matter.”
“I mean, she’s so inexperienced. In bed, that is. She doesn’t do the things you do.”
“Of course not,” said Lo matter-of-factly, “she’s a skinny chick.”
“What does that mean?” asked Gary.
“Come with me,” she said, grabbing his belt buckle and leading him out of the kitchen, down the hall, to the bathroom. She shut and locked the door. She got naked. She sat on the toilet and unbuckled Gary’s belt, unzipped his pants, pulled out his cock and took it in her mouth. He was very hard. She peed and looked up at him, saying, “Guys use me. I’ll do what a skinny chick won’t. Would Ell do this?”
Gary reached down and pulled Lo’s head closer to him, causing her to envelop his meat with her mouth until it was in the back of her throat. While he was enjoying Lola’s oral pleasures, he glanced out the window into the backyard where he could see his girlfriend chatting with me.
Lo pulled her head back.
“Uh uh,” she cautioned. “You need to stay eager for your girlfriend.” She wiped, flushed, got up, bent over the sink until her bare rear was pressing up against Gary’s cock.
As she washed her hands, he attempted to penetrate her. “Can I have you, really quickly?”
“Na-ah,” she said, denying him.
“Just two minutes,” he pleaded.
“I’ll give you one minute. In my ass.”
Lo reached in the medicine cabinet, took out a tube of lube and circled it around and then in her special spot. Gary slid right in. He was desperately trying to cum in under sixty seconds. Lo was bent over the sink taking it and keeping track of the time. She had no intention of letting him cum. She needed him hard for MILF Meri.
At the sixty-second mark, Lo pulled forward and got on her knees, taking Gary in her mouth and looking up at him with a smile.
She could have easily coaxed him to cum in her mouth, but she released him and stood up, saying to him, “You see, boys use me when a skinny chick just won’t do.” She kissed him, open-mouthed, for a long time while her hand held his hard cock in her palm. “Maybe I should get a t-shirt that says that,” she mused, “Use me when a skinny girl just won’t do.”
She got dressed and led him out of the bathroom. Luckily for both of them, the coast was clear.
Back in the kitchen, Lo continued with the food prep as if nothing had happened, but Gary was stunned by Lo’s revelation about the difference between thick and thin. He was thinking it over as Lo washed some cucumbers.
“You mean,” he began to formulate a question.
“Pass me the pepper,” said Lo, with no time to spare for looking deep in his eyes and explaining the finer facts of life to him.
He passed the pepper unconsciously. His mind was elsewhere. “All the stuff you do. . . in bed. . . that. . .” He didn’t even know how to phrase it.
“Look,” said Lo, “I’m not saying every skinny chick is a missionary-two-minute-no orgasm-might-as-well-fuck-a-slice-of-warm-pie chick. I’m just saying that if you want to have what you have with me, you should be looking at a woman more like Meri. Fish where the fish are, you know?”
“Meri?” he said with shock. “That kid’s mom out there?”
“Yep.”
“But she’s married. A mom. A –”
“Amazing in bed!” Lo said, interrupting his slack-jawed confusion.
“What?”
“She’s a fucking animal in bed. I should know.”
“You and Meri. . . ?”
“That surprises you?”
“Um, well, ur. . . she’s married,” he protested again. “And a mom.”
“You have to stop seeing only labels. She’s a woman of flesh-and-blood. She has needs, wants, desires, drives. I’m with HH. That doesn’t stop me. Or you. Or your brother. Or Meri. Or her son.”
“Her son?!”
“Never mind I said that,” said Lo, happy to have planted the seed of jealousy. “You should see her tits,” continued Lo. “Here, will you carry this out to HH?” she asked, handing him a plate of hotdogs. “Tell him I’m done with them.”
“You didn’t. . . ?”
“No, I’m just kidding,” said Lo. “Or am I? Not to worry, I have lots of fresh, long, stiff cucumbers.”
Gary went outside with the dogs and, no sooner had he left than Meri walked into the kitchen.
“What the actual fuck?!” asked Meri dramatically.
“I don’t know,” said Lo, preparing the steak, “what?”
“You didn’t tell me his girlfriend would be here.”
“I assure you, I didn’t know. But really, remember the story of the kettle and the stove?”
“What?”
“You come in here accusing me of inviting Gary’s girlfriend and you show up with your son. He couldn’t stay home and make himself a pb&j?”
“I had no intention of. . .”
“After what happened last time, I don’t want to hear it.”
“Lo, really, I. . .”
Lola wasn’t in any mood to hear yet another excuse for why Mamma’s Boy was tagging along with MILF Meri to the party Lola planned especially for Meri to hook up with the brothers.
“You’re making my job a lot more difficult, you know.”
“What did Gary have to say to you?”
“Gary?”
“Yeah. He was just in here with you, wasn’t he?”
“He wants me to turn his inexperienced, prudish, girlfriend into a slutty sex goddess like me.”
“Ha! Good luck!”
“I redirected his attention to you.”
“That’s my good little pimp,” said Meri as she grabbed Lo around the waste to give her a kiss.
Just then, her son barged into the kitchen.
“Ma,” he whined, not realizing what he was interrupting.
“What?” asked Meri, turning away from Lo.
“Oh, come on, Mom! Give it a rest. Can’t you be around her for more than a minute without trying to get in her pants?”
“I imagine your intentions for coming with me were lily-white!”
He turned around, walked out, and slammed the door behind him.
During all of this, I was talking with Ell. Since Lo had invited all of her paramours here, I figured I had license to make her just a tad jealous while also teasing the unfortunate girl.
She and I had struck up a pleasant conversation, but she eventually asked to use the bathroom. I told her where it was and watched as she disappeared inside just as Lo was returning to the party with the salad bowl.
Lo loves to play hostess to large crowds. One of the most painful sacrifices she had to give up for COVID has been throwing parties. Well, that is the second most painful sacrifice for her. The first, of course, was no longer being the community cockbox. But the brothers had helped mollify her. She delights in feeding people and seeing them enjoy in her food and drink. I think that on some deeper psychological level that primal pleasure is connected with the sexual satisfaction she seeks from providing for others to feast on her carnal sweets. It is as if feeding people is how Lo vicariously fucks them.
Soon after, Ell returned and, acting glad to be in my company, picked up the conversation where she had left off.
“Where do you live?” she inquired of me.
“Oh, I live here, with Lola.”
“Is this your apartment?” she asked, a little surprised.
“I share it with Lo,” I said, matter-of-factly.
“Just you two?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Well, I didn’t mean to snoop or pry, but I couldn’t help seeing all those photos of you two inside.”
“We make a great couple, don’t you think?”
I could see her effervescence flattening as she continued learning about us.
“Does she have a boyfriend?” she asked, clearly disturbed by what she had seen.
“Many,” I replied, truthfully. “And a few girlfriends too.”
Now I could see the wheels turning. She was wondering if I was misunderstanding her questions. Maybe I was so old that I wasn’t clear what she was trying to get at, she thought.
Just then, Lo came over to me and slid her arm around my waist. “What are you two talking about?” she asked, giving me a kiss on the lips to emphasize to Ell Lo’s complete ownership of me.
Ell seemed to blanch.
“We were just talking about you and all your boyfriends and girlfriends,” I said.
Lo let out a little laugh and said, in a show of confidential solidarity with Ell, “He’s very good to me. He lets me do whatever I want.”
“I see,” was all Ell could muster.
“The bedroom has had a lot less traffic since the pandemic, but every once in a while she still asks that I sleep on the couch to allow her and her lover some privacy.”
“And a bed,” said Lo, confused by Ell’s outrage. “Only I’m allowed to play. He’s not.”
“That’s fine by me,” I said, with a wink to Ell, “with a beauty like Lola, it would be a sin to keep her all to myself. But she always asks permission first.”
“He’s so paternalistic,” commented Lo, “But that’s ok by me, because of my daddy issues.” Lo let out a little laugh as if it were a joke with a hint of seriousness, but poor Ell was horrified.
“I, I, I think I have to get going.”
“So soon?” asked Lo. “We haven’t even gotten started yet.”
Ell walked over to Gary.
“Strange girl,” remarked Lo.
“Yes, but cute,” I said to get Lo’s goat.
She elbowed me playfully in the stomach.
“Keep it in your pants, old man,” Lo said, “she’s in high school.”
“Like you have the moral high-ground in that regard.”
“Whatever. If you want her, you can have her. I’m much better and badder.”
“Oh Darling, you know I’m only teasing you.”
“Such a big tease,” Lo said sarcastically.
“Speaking of tease, I guess I should also let you in on something.”
“What’s that?”
“Ell thinks I’m your father, not your lover.”
“What?!”
“Or, rather, I guess she now thinks that I’m your father and your lover.”
“Oh boy! That’s why she had to leave so quickly.”
“Yep.”
Roy, Gary, and Ell were sitting together on one side of the small backyard patio, while Meri and her son were on the other side. Lo and I were by the grill. We knew something had to be done to get these groups to mingle more.
Just then, to my great surprise, Lily made an appearance in our backyard, sans Jim. I had no idea she was invited. Was she?
In any case, this new addition served a convenient purpose. Lily’s stag arrival allowed her to mingle within and among the three distinct groups of people: the brothers and Ell; MILF Meri and her son; Lo and me. However, it also made Lo and Meri’s design a little more complicated, for the brothers were captivated by Lily’s beauty and, I surmise, her wedding band. She was off limits and that is always an attractive feature in a person.
I found out later that Lo had told Lily about our Labor Day garden party and that Lily was extremely curious to meet all the people Lo had been pleasing during the pandemic. But she was not sure if she would make it since Jim and Lily had another engagement at the same time. It so turned out that Jim was enjoying himself there more than Lily and so Lily politely excused herself to inspect Lo’s summer conquests.
“Maybe we should introduce an ice-breaker party game?” I suggested to Lo.
“What did you have in mind?”
“We could play find the hidden dildo?”
“That wouldn’t work. Too many dildos lying around the house.”
“Even better – everyone can be a winner!”
“How about Pin the Butt-plug on the Mommy?”
“MILF Meri?”
“The only mommy here.”
“Sounds like it would take too much skill.”
“Any other ideas?” she asked.
“Each of the women has to hold a beer bottle in her cleavage and pour a sip into a guy’s mouth.”
“You’ve got some perverted ideas,” she said. “And I like them all. But that wouldn’t work. Ell over there is no more than an A-cup.”
We compromised and chose “Heads-Up!” – the charades game you can play using a smart phone.
Lo chose teams: MILF Meri and Gary, Roy and Lola, Lily and me, Ell and Meri’s son.
We played for a little while and as the adult beverages began to work their magic on the adults at the garden party, Meri became gradually more comfortable with Gary and attempted to engage his brother Roy. Lily and I played nice, but she knew I was off limits and was more interested in teasing out the brothers, creating conflict and friction with Meri. Finally, Ell and Meri’s son couldn’t have been more awkward together.
We only played a couple of rounds and it became quite clear that Meri and Gary were the hands-down winners of this game. When it was over, the purpose of the game proved a success – the various parties were mingling and getting to know each other better.
To my consternation, after Lo went inside to prepare dessert, Meri’s son approached me. He hadn’t said a word to me the entire time. Not even a hello. But now he walked up to me and looked starstruck.
“Did you really go to Japan?” he asked. No introduction. No small-talk.
“Yes,” I said, politely.
“And studied in a Zen a monastery?”
“That’s right.”
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but he approached me like I was a famous explorer or a celebrity.
“I want to do that someday.”
“I’m sure you will,” I said, mindlessly.
“And Lo really fucked all those guys there?”
He had blurted it out as if it was common knowledge.
“Where’d you hear that?” I asked.
“The blog! And the books!” he said enthusiastically.
“Shhhhh,” I said, pulling him closer to me in confidence. “Look, it’s all well and good that you know about the blog and have dotingly read every story, but not everyone here knows about it,” I said, looking around at our guests. “And some of the people here are in the blog.” Namely: Roy, Gary, and Lily. Now we can add Ell to the list of characters, I suppose.
“Oh,” he said, comprehending the need for secrecy. “Well, I guess I just wanted to say, uh, that, I really admire you.”
“Thanks kid. Good to hear,” I said, feeling like Hemingway.
At the same time Lily had begun to make conversation with Ell. As I cooked, I eavesdropped. I don’t know how they got on the topic, but Lily was telling Ell about her time in New York City.
“When I lived there,” she was saying, “I was in a thruple.”
“What’s that?” asked the naïve Ell.
“Well, in my case, it was an older married couple. They took me into their place. I had my own bedroom and when either the husband or the wife needed more sexually, they’d page me. I’d go into the bedroom and service whichever one had need of me. Sometimes both, but not often.”
Ell’s eyes widened. Her jaw dropped. Lily was bragging, but trying to play it as if it were nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary.
“Some nights she wasn’t in the mood, so he’d call me in to help him. Other nights he might have fucked her, but came too early, so I’d use my mouth on her until she was satisfied.”
“What about you?” asked Ell, engrossed by this alternate lifestyle as if hearing for the first time about an alternate universe.
“Me? Oh, I got a lot of pleasure from it. I’m like Lo in that way. I enjoy pleasing others.”
“Like fucking them?” asked Ell.
“Yeah. But, with me, I’m chaste.”
Now Ell’s mind looked as if it was about to explode.
“What?” she asked in disbelief.
“I’m what’s known as A.O.L. – anal only lifestyle.”
“So he’d fuck you in the. . .”
“Well, not always,” said Lily nonchalantly. “Sometimes he would bind my hands behind my back and my ankles together, have me sit kajira, and fuck my mouth.”
“Kajira? What is that? A Japanese term?”
“No, Gorean.”
“What?”
I could see that Ell was in for an education in the subtleties of fantasy fiction fan sexual positions, so I made my way over to Meri on the pretense of offering to refill her glass. She was busy trying to entice both Gary and Roy into her den of maternal delights by speaking to them about sports, specifically hockey, as she feigned not knowing how much cleavage she was showing. I saw the brothers struggling to keep eye contact with her while they desired to look down the V-neck opening of her tank top. Simultaneously, the slit of her skirt was sliding further and further up her left leg, revealing just about everything, including her pantiless crotch.
I indicated that I would like to pour her some more wine. She didn’t even look up at me. She just waved her hand toward her glass, as if I were a waiter and she was indicating a refill. She had the boys and she knew it. She wasn’t going to let anything interrupt the seduction.
Everything seemed to be going fine and now that the awkward introductions were over and we were well past the getting-to-know-you period, time sped by. Before any of us knew it, the sun had begun to go down and we had seamlessly transitioned from an afternoon lunch to thoughts about dinner. No one wanted the party to end, especially since, due to lock-down and COVID, we had not spent time with this many other people in a long time.
Lo and I, reading the crowd, but lacking the provisions, discussed what to do. We finally turned it over to our guests, letting them know that they were welcome to stay, but that we didn’t have enough food for dinner.
After a bit of discussion, Meri suggested Sushi. She said she’d pay for it and the Grubhub delivery. Everyone gave Meri their orders and she took care of it. After she was done with the extensive list that must have cost her over $200.00, she said, half jokingly, “We should make Nyotaimori of it.”
“What?” asked some of our guests.
“Nyotaimori,” she repeated, explaining, “You know, body sushi.”
Most people still looked confused.
“It’s an ancient Japanese tradition of serving sushi on a naked body – a woman’s body, traditionally, but it could be a man’s, I guess.”
“Ewww, that’s gross,” blurted out Ell.
“I think it’s sensual,” replied Lily. “For a lot of people, the closest they come to embodied existence is eating, and even then they do it mindlessly. This tradition really drives home the experience of living in the flesh.”
“Maybe it drives it too close to home,” added one of the brothers.
“Do we want to try this?” asked Meri, persistent and clearly eager to do it.
“Who would be the, er, serving table?” asked Ell nervously.
“The host should, of course,” responded Meri, quick to volunteer Lola.
“Oh, I don’t think you want to see me naked,” I chimed in, playfully.
“I wasn’t talking about. . .” began Meri, before she realized I was just joking.
“I’m game,” said Lo. “Luckily I showered and shaved just before you all got here. Hun,” she said to me, “will you light the firepit?”
“Sure.”
It was a warm evening, but Lo loves the ambiance of a firepit. Lighting it wasn’t a problem since it was a propane fueled fire. Living in the city, we couldn’t have a wood-fueled firepit. We’re lucky to have a postage stamp sized backyard.
Lo went inside, stripped, put on a bathrobe, grabbed a couple of rarely used blankets, and returned to our company outside. She spread the blankets on the long-neglected picnic bench and the brothers and I lifted it and moved it to the center of the yard.
Not much later, Meri’s phone alerted her that the food would be delivered momentarily. She told Lo, who went around front to greet the delivery boy. He had stopped on the street in front of the apartment building and got out with the large bag of food. He was about to go in the front door when he saw Lo saunter up the side of the building in her white, plush, terrycloth robe. He looked startled.
“I’ll take that,” said Lo.
“Meri?” he asked, making sure he was delivering the food to the right person.
“Yes,” replied Lo.
He passed her the bag. Lo reached out for it, allowing her robe to open slightly in the front, revealing her nakedness.
He cast his eyes away as he scurried off like a frightened deer. Lo chuckled. She returned to the crowd in the back.
“Food’s on!” she called, adding, “On me!”
Lo slowly removed her robe and passed it to Roy as she climbed naked up and onto the flat surface of the picnic table covered by the blankets.
While Lo was getting the food, Meri had gone inside to grab a head of lettuce from the fridge.
“The proper way to do this,” she said, authoritatively, “is to place a leaf of lettuce under each piece of food in order to prevent contact between food and skin.”
“Very sanitary,” whispered Ell under her breath sarcastically.
“It actually is quite sanitary. I had the pleasure of being exposed to this time-honored tradition when I was in Japan many years ago.”
At this point, Lo was the one being ‘exposed’ to the tradition. She was lying, baring all, on the table and looked, if I do say so, good enough to eat.
Meri took the lead and said to Lo, “You’re going to have to lie perfectly still. Very shallow breathing. No sudden moves. Can you do that?”
“I’ll try,” replied Lo, a little nervous. It was a lot of sushi that rested literally on her shoulders, and other body parts.
Meri placed the lettuce leaves down on Lo’s body, strategically – breasts, navel, the two corners of her Delta of Venus. She placed a few more on her legs, and in between the other cardinal points. Then she began to arrange the sushi pieces delicately on their little lettuce plates. She arranged the soy sauce, ginger, and wasabi on the table, next to Lo.
“Who’s first?” she asked, handing out chopsticks.
Before anyone could answer, Meri turned to me and said, “I think, as co-host of this evening, you should do the honors.”
I took the chopsticks and found a succulent, deep red slice of tuna sashimi resting right over the topmost part of Lo’s slit.
Picking it up with dexterity, I dipped in the soy sauce and ate it all. It was fabulous!
Others followed suit. Ell notably refrained with a disgusted look on her face. She tried to prevent Gary from indulging, but was completely ineffective.
Perhaps the most notable aspect of this cross-cultural culinary immersion was its lack of eroticism. At least that was my experience of it. Lo was so focused on her breath and remaining still that it was more like a meditation session than a sensual, sexual foray in exhibitionism. The guests were careful to grasp their food in their chopsticks without incident to such an extent that they hardly noticed the body upon which they feasted. It was only, perhaps, in between bites that one could take in the whole scene and even then, there was so little action on the part of Lo that her seductive charm seemed dormant.
The one aspect of it that did particularly strike a chord for me was that this form of hospitality yoked Lo’s two great loves: stylishly satisfying her guests’ appetite for food and elegantly gratifying her lovers’ desire for her body.
When we were all done feasting, and Meri had even popped a few sushi rolls in Lo’s mouth so that the conduit of the cuisine wouldn’t go hungry herself, Lo asked, “Anyone for dessert?” as she spread her legs and scooched down to the edge of the table.
Gary had his girlfriend, Ell, to keep him in line.
Meri thought it might appear unseemly to partake of Lo’s parted pussy lips in front of her son.
Roy seemed vicariously inhibited by his brother’s girlfriend’s harsh judgment.
Lily, though open-minded, preferred thick cock in her ass to giving oral pleasure.
That left Meri’s son. Maybe he was intent on making his mother jealous after all of her overt interest in the two boys where were just slightly older than he. Maybe he was tired of being the background wallpaper to his mother’s grab for attention. Who knows, but after approaching the table, bashfully, he stepped up and indulged exactly the way Lo had taught him on their camping excursion earlier that summer.
Lo’s hands held on to the side of the table as she let him lap her up like a thirsty dog sloppily licking every last bit from his water bowl.
Meri stood at the opposite end of the table and fondled Lo’s breasts, pulling and tugging at her nipples. Eventually she alighted on a creative way to inflict more intense pain. She picked up a couple of chopsticks and turned them into a miniature vice in which she trapped Lo’s nipples and twisted them in the primitive torture implements.
Predictably, Lo came and came a lot all over Meri’s son’s eager and enthusiastic mouth, to such a point that his shirt was soaked from the collar to the navel. Her climactic ejaculation was a revelation to Ell who, if she had ever had heard rumor of such a thing, certainly had never witnessed it.
When the waterworks were complete, Lo slowly got up from the table and found her way to a chair by the fire. She sat, her bare legs crossed, her head drooping back, as she breathed heavily, catching her breath, causing her exposed chest to heave up and down. Her nipples were erect and red with the results of Meri’s sadism and from them all the way up to her face her complexion was flush with the rush of blood following her orgasm.
Everyone sat staring at the Sushi Strumpet until I interrupted their gawking disbelief with an offer to refresh their glasses or grab them a drink.
Lo asked for a tall glass of ice water.
The night continued on with polite conversation as Lo sat among our circle around the fire, nude among the other clothed guests. Occasionally she got up to get something or use the bathroom and her entrances and exits were dramatic by design.
Eventually our guests began to file out, beginning with the brothers and Ell, who had to be home early, so she said.
Then, seeing the night had reached its apex, Lily bade us all a good night.
Lastly, Meri and her son said they were off to their sleepy suburban home.
This left just Lo and me to clean up and, let’s be real, Lo wasn’t going to clean up anything. She went into bed and said she’d welcome me there when I was done.
I found her with her legs spread wide saying, “Oh, Daddy. Have me.”
There’s a deep, hidden connection between feasting and fucking, I thought. It is not coincidental that the early Christian Eucharist was an orgiastic experience. Feasting on the flesh, sacrificing the body to the spirit, elevating the soul through the nourishment of the corporeal house in which it lives, communing with the Holy Spirit through a physical act – all of these could be viewed as metaphors and substitutes for the sacred act of carnal connection and the interrelatedness of all life through the hollowed act of ingestion. Man/Woman, Life/Death, Self/Other, Sacred/Profane, High/Low, Animal/Divine – all these pairs become intertwined and indistinct in and through the dual acts of copulation and ingestion. Two uniting into one. One becoming two. The interplay of all things in the divine dance of a match: a fading cinder; a spritely spark. They come together and form a fire that radiates light and warmth, around which the ever-widening concentric circles of the world emanate out toward a horizon whose circumference is nowhere and center everywhere.
Penny’s from Heaven
“Penny for your thoughts,” I said to Lo.
“Actually, Penny is all for your thoughts.”
“What?”
“Penny xox – an OnlyFans content creator. She’s loving Match, Cinder & Spark, Volume V: Shorter Shorts.”
“How do you know?”
“Take a look for yourself.”
Lo showed me some of Penny’s sexy “May is Masturbation Month” promotional photos.
“Wow!” I said, “Photogenic.”
“You don’t mind if I have a little Masturbation Month time before May, do you Daddy?” asked Lo as she reached under her jeans and began sliding her fingers up and down her crotch.
“I’ll leave you and Penny to enjoy each other.”
“Good, because I already got my subscription to her page.”
“Of course you did,” I said.
“We sex goddesses have to support each other.”
“Indeed,” I said as I went to leave the bedroom and close the door behind me.
“You can leave it open,” she said, just to rub it in, so to speak. She likes for me to hear the pleasure she gives herself when getting off to other people.
Ten minutes later, she sauntered into the living room, pantless, wearing just her t-shirt.
“Feeling better?”
“I’m ready for you now, Daddio.”
She bent over by the window, looking outside as the Sunday strollers sauntered by on the sunlit sidewalk.
Her hands were resting on the windowsill and she looked over her shoulder at me. “Well? Are you going to fuck me?”
“Do you want me or do you just want to be fucked?”
“Is there a difference?”
“That’s cruel.”
“I mean, I want to be fucked by you.”
“Me specifically, or would anyone do?”
“Are we playing Twenty Questions, or are you going to penetrate my wet pussy?”
“For you, fucking is a physical act. For me, I take pleasure in the cerebral interplay of personalities.”
“Well, you’re not going to get any play – cerebral or corporeal – if you keep talking.”
“And you’re going to get nothing but corporal punishment,” I said, as I took out my belt.
“I don’t know why you’re punishing me, but I like it,” she said, preparing for her lashing.
SMACK! – I gave her one strike across her bum. She didn’t cry out.
SMACK!! – I gave her another. She made a little peep in the back of her throat with her mouth closed. Her head bobbed up a bit as she vocalized the yipe.
SMACK!!! – I gave her a third, much harder than the first two.
“YEOW!” she cried out through the screen of the window. People on the street certainly heard her. Admirably, her hands remained on the sill.
I stood behind her. I entered her red bum. She let out a gasp of delight.
“Penny will be pleased,” she said.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“She’s married, has two teenage sons, and her greatest thrill is turning people on.”
“Just to be clear,” I said, “you turn me on.”
“Oh, I know that. But she turned me on. You’re just reaping the rewards.”
“Looks like we both are reaping a pretty good return on just one penny,” I said as she began to squirt, her legs buckling as she bit down on her lower lip.
She had to jump off my cock and she squeezed her legs together as tightly as she could, futilely trying to stem the stream of satisfaction. Within moments she screamed as her ejaculate puddled around her bare feet on the hardwood floor.
“Looks like it’s raining,” I said.
“Penny’s from heaven,” she concluded.
Swing
[The following story, which took place a few years ago, was published in the March edition of ENM Magazine – Ethical Non-Monogamy. Unfortunately, despite heroic efforts by its publisher, this month is the last month of its short existence.]
Saint Patrick’s Day in Chicago, where the river runs green and the jazz of a bygone era still swings. Lo and I had gone there for Lily and Jim’s wedding. It was an extravagant affair. All the quaint rituals and odd practices of the public betrothal symbolizing holy monotony. I mean monogamy. I mean matrimony. Sorry, I struggle to find the right words sometimes. All the focus on the bride as an unblemished princess performing for her solid, stoic king. There’s just something about it that provokes the puckish prankster in me. Especially when I know that the beautiful bride in her pure white gown has a devilish desire for exceptionally large cock and that her groom comes up short.
But Jim is a good friend of mine and a sometime paramour of Lo’s, so we took added delight in the carnal knowledge that behind all the nuptial vows, the oaths of fidelity, and the pomp of the ring ceremony, both Lily and Jim hadn’t any plans of restricting their bodies and pleasures only to the one legally bound to them.
So, as all the other guests let out gentle expressions of awe and shed a tear in reflection of this display of love and affection, I grinned a wicked little grin as I sipped my expensive scotch.
Lo saw my mischievous look and rubbed her leg up against mine under the table, indicating that she had some ideas of her own.
We both knew Lily and Jim to be swingers and so, when the formalities were over and the dancefloor opened up for revelry, Lo missed no opportunity to scandalize the evening.
We sat at the table next to the newlywed couple. Rather than the usual choice of two entrées, there was a choice of four and so people were passing bites from their plates around for each other to taste.
“You are so generous!” said one guest to me after I let her have a bite of my food.
“Whenever I experience something amazing, I just want others to share in it,” I replied, rubbing Lo’s arm.
“I’m the opposite,” said the young woman to me. “Whenever I find something amazing, I keep it all to myself.” She also rubbed the arm of her partner.
“You can have him,” I thought.
Meanwhile, Lo was seated next to Lily’s Uncle Collin. He arrived to this event without his wife Suzanne and no one blinked an eye about it. The family was used to their “independent” social schedules. This wedding happened after the shenanigans that had taken place at Collin’s mountain cottage, so Lo was very familiar with ‘Uncle Collin’ and his love of young women and his E.D. issues. The whole night, any stranger would have thought that Lo was Collin’s date for the evening. Given the age difference, they might have thought Lo was his hired companion as his FGE – “Full Girlfriend Experience.”
They danced together – marvelously, I might add – and reminisced, quite loudly at the table, about the days at his cottage. He repeatedly alluded to Lo suntanning nude along side Lily, going to a farm and milking goats, and they laughed about how Lo lost her bikini bottoms while tubing behind his boat on the lake.
As they told these stories, Collin gradually drew the other guests at our table into their intimate stroll down Memory Lane. He is charismatic and a good storyteller, but the whole time I was silently fuming, ready to burst out with, “Yeah, you could read all about it on our blog! With photos!!! I wrote it better than he tells it!!!” But I remained silent and let the senior statesmen have the spotlight that he so craved.
He subtly hinted at, without giving too much detail, the nudity, sex, and other debauchery that took place at the cottage. He was in on the secret we shared with Jim and Lily – that they got married prior to this large ceremony to appease their Catholic families and that, though they lived “in sin” prior to the private wedding, Lily was and continues to be an A.O.L. girl (Anal Only Lifestyle).
After Collin regaled them with his tales of titties and sun, one of the young women at our table, noticing Collin’s wedding ring and Lo’s “hotwife” ring, asked, “So you two are. . . married?” She asked it hesitantly, knowing it was an inappropriate question that was only sparked by the gaping age difference between them. Yet the curious guest was inebriated enough to broach the subject and display her incredulity.
“Oh no,” said Lo, laughing and delighting in the twist of the knife that was about to take place, “I’m not married!”
“Oh, so you’re. . . ?” the woman’s half-formulated question hung in the air awkwardly.
“We’re just friends,” said Lo. “This is my partner, HH,” she added, as she put her delicate hand on mine.
The fact that they weren’t married, but had shared so much together, compounded with the fact that Lo was dating another, yet different, older man who was seated right next to her as she laughed about these sexperiences, seemed to blow the mind of our dinner companion.
“Oh,” she said, feigning comprehension, but displaying complete befuddlement.
The band began to play again and Lo begged me to dance with her.
I demurred, saying, “Dancing is emblematic of our relationship. When we dance, you do whatever you want. For me, though, the goal is to have fun. But all you do is criticize and then, when I stop, you criticize because you always have to have an object of your derision. Without it, you feel a tremendous void. And whatever I do – driving, cooking, dancing, cleaning – I’m your eternal object of derision.”
Lo replied, “Well, when dancing, it’s more fun for both partners if one is not stepping on the other’s toes.”
“That’s only possible if you’re dancing solo.”
“You’re right, dancing is emblematic of our whole relationship.”
As harsh as this banter sounds, it was all said lovingly, tongue-in-cheek.
One of our friends at the table overhead us and said, “You two should write a book chronicling your lovers’ quarrels.”
“That’s a great idea!” I replied “That way I could document my long suffering. I could call it, ‘The History of my Calamities,’ after Abelard.”
“Your calamities,” chided Lo, “you should be so lucky to have an Eloise like me!”
Having fully lost our audience with our theological allusions, Collin remarked, “You two have great erotic tension.”
“Yeah,” I said, “but no erotic release.”
“There’s a difference,” said Lo, “between erotic tension and sexual tension.”
“And what is that?” I asked.
“Erotic tension is in your head. And you have a great release for that – the blog. Sexual tension is between your legs and you have a great release for that.”
“What might that be?”
“My puss.”
“How’s your sexual tension?”
“I never have sexual tension,” said Lo casually, “I only have sexual release.”
“I suppose that’s what it means to be ‘a liberated woman.’”
She got up to dance with Collin some more.
Louis Armstrong’s “Just a Gigolo” was being sung by the crooner and Lo, wearing her green velvet dress in honor of the Irish holiday, looked stunning as she twirled and dipped with Collin.
As they kicked up a storm on the dancefloor, one of the women at our table sat next to me. “Aren’t you jealous,” she whispered in my ear. I couldn’t help but think of her as Iago. Though green was the color of the day, it was not the color I was seeing as I watched my Desdemona dance with her Cassio.
“No,” I replied with a smile.
“Not at all?”
“Not in the slightest.”
“Want to get some air?” she asked.
“Sure.”
I followed my femme Iago out onto the balcony of the hotel and, though it was freezing in the windy city, she offered me a few puffs from her vape pen. Not wishing to be rude, I accepted.
Suddenly my Shakespearean companion transformed into a jovial leprechaun and the next thing I knew was Lo, Collin, the sexy pixie elf and I were at The Green Mill, a dancehall throwback to the age of Swing. A big band was playing with a tall, lean black trumpeter in the lead. They were pounding out “Tain’t What You Do” as Lo was passed from partner to partner in the crowd that was jumpin’ and jivin’ to the beat.
In my mind, the spotlight was on Lo and her eyes were on the prize – the trumpeter who seemed to be singing the words especially for her, with a peculiar emphasis on them, changing the meaning from, “Tain’t what you do, it’s how you do it” to “Taint, what you do. It’s how you do it.”
“How you feeling now?” asked the leprechaun.
I felt as if a green wave was carrying my Lo further and further out to sea as I was stranded on the shore watching her recede into the distance.
There, far on the horizon, I saw her up by the stage, talking with the trumpeter who was standing, his crotch eye level with Lo’s face. She was looking up at him, saying something.
The band took a break and Lo disappeared, as did the band leader.
Collin returned to the table and I inquired about her whereabouts.
“It’s Saint Patty’s Day!” he said, “The luck of the Irish. I believe that Lo is getting lucky!” He slapped me on the back and bought me another drink that I didn’t need. “When in the Emerald City, anything can happen with a little magic from the Wizard,” he said, removing a teal handkerchief from his jacket pocket that suddenly turned into Lo’s satin panties. He handed them to me and said, “Improbable, yes. Possible, perhaps. With Lo, all is green go-go and Eternal Return of the Dame.”
When I heard these words, I knew that I was slowly losing my grasp on reality.
The last thing I recall from the evening was a Julie London song, “Hey Daddy,” being played by the band as an instrumental number.
When I woke up, I was in my hotel room in the bed and Lo was rising and descending on a large bottle of champagne.
Groggily I rubbed my eyes and looked at her to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I then said, “Be careful darling, I wouldn’t want that bottle to break.”
“Not to worry. I’m wide, wet, and willing.”
As she proceeded to hump to her heart’s content, she said, “Will you order some breakfast from room service?”
Always the dutiful daddy, I said, “Sure, what do you want.”
“A bowl of Lucky Charms.”
99 Problems: A Valentine’s Day Tale
[Dear Lovlies, this story was published in the February 2021 issue of Ethical Non-Monogamy Magazine. If you would like to get your free Match, Cinder & Spark book, send us an email at: downloladown@gmail.com]
“Well, Darling, I guess it’s just you and me: Santa and his little sexy elf,” I said to her as she snuggled up to me under my arm on the couch. She was still wearing her sleek red dress and nothing else. We had the fire going (on the T.V. thanks to Netflix).
“It was a nice day,” she said, a touch of melancholy in her voice.
We both knew it wasn’t like Christmases past. It was COVID Christmas. No kissing friends and strangers under the mistletoe or unwrapping presents with a large crowd looking on to see your reaction to their gift.
We had spent the day delivering goodies to friends and family, driving all around town, making stops from noon until nine at night. Each stop was accompanied by a little chat outside in the brisk air with a shot or two to warm us up. It was good to see familiar faces and bring them gifts, even if we couldn’t hug, kiss, dance, or sit in their comfortable living rooms for some schnapps and grog.
We were determined to make the day as special as we could. Now that we were home (and a little tipsy) I told her she could look under the tree to see what Santa had brought for her.
“Have you been naughty or nice?” I asked.
“Which gets me more gifts?” she asked as she rummaged under the tree and found the little box I had carefully hidden.
She immediately knew what it was. She opened it extremely carefully. The diamond ring was illuminated by a tiny light that automatically turned on when the ring box was opened. It looked magical in the dimly lit room. The cute case glowed with an aura of heavenly mystique.
“Oh Daddy!” she said, giving me a big kiss. “How did you know?”
She was being very facetious since she had designed the piece of jewelry, ordered it, and tracked its delivery. All I did was pass her my credit card and then wrap it when it arrived.
“Is there anything there for me?” I asked.
“Yes, there is. Wait here and come into the bedroom when I call you.”
A few moments went by before her sing-song voice invited me in.
She was wearing a new red satin negligée. “My Santa suit. Second only to my birthday suit.” She spread her legs to reveal that she also had shaved.
“No more Hannukah bush?” I asked.
“You know what they say.”
“What’s that?”
“Hair today, gone tomorrow.”
“You’ve been hanging around me too long. Leave the puns to dads who like dad jokes.”
“Do you like, Daddy?” she asked as she gently tugged at her pussy lips.
“Very much.”
“You’re not hard to please. You know that?”
“Yes, but when you please me, I am hard.”
“Show me! Let me drink your eggnog.”
“Your ring looks good on your finger,” I remarked as she stroked herself.
“Yes, now maybe you’ll make me a proper hotwife!”
“Oh no, Lo. I can’t make a descent woman out of you. You’ve spent a lifetime cultivating being an indecent woman.”
“True. But you know, either way, I’m happy. Deep, deep inside, I’m happy. And you can be too.”
“Be happy?”
“No, deep, deep inside me.”
She stood up from the bed, bent over, and looked at her exposed rear in the full-length mirror behind her. “It’s weird,” she said, “how horny I get looking at myself naked.”
I have to admit, she had me excited just looking at her like that.
I fumbled to remove my pants as she pouted, “Daddy, I just can’t wait.”
As swiftly as I could, I slid into her impatient peonies petals, already wet with dew.
Within moments she sensed the inevitable and spun around in order to receive her reward.
Though that may have been my climax, it is not the climax of our story.
Drunk on my cum, she looked up at me and asked, “Which part did you like the most: the first ten seconds or the last ten seconds?”
“Hey, I might have been fast, but what or who can give that much pleasure in so short a time?”
“Are you talking about my ability to give pleasure or yours? Never mind. I’ll show you what can give even more pleasure,” she said as she reached under the bed to take out her Hitachi.
As she was on her solo journey to Pleasure Town, I pulled out my laptop and read a few emails written to our shared downloladown account. There were a number of thank you notes from the men, women, and couples who had received our “XXX-mas” gifts – a free Match, Cinder & Spark book or audiobook.
It was nice to hear from our fans that we helped cheer them up in this otherwise dismal time.
After Lo had ‘spouted off’ in the best possible way, she sat up to look over my shoulder. Glancing at the screen, I sensed she was a bit disappointed.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
“No, it’s something Lo. What is it?”
“Just the thought that put me over the edge was that you were looking at photos of me, not reading emails.”
“Well, it’s the next-best-thing. They’re emails about you. Besides, why would I look at photos of you on my computer when you’re lying next to me vibrating your va-jay-jay till the levee breaks?”
“Exactly! And why would you be reading emails when you have this at your disposal?!” she said, slapping her sloppy puss for emphasis.
Changing the subject slightly, I asked, “Do you think it was egomaniacal of me to give my own books as a Christmas gift?”
“I think it’s egomaniacal of you to write those books.”
“That wasn’t egomaniacal. That was a gift to humanity.”
“Never have I seen such a self-satisfied narcissist!”
“Didn’t you just look in the mirror?”
“Shut up and pass me Glindo,” she said, referring to her glass dildo that was next to me on the nightstand.
“Why? What are you up to now?” I asked, seeing her with her legs spread wide on the bed, dildo in hand.
“Nothing, but I’m open to doing something.”
“What are you open to doing?”
“You.”
“Now?”
“Well, after I do myself.”
“Again?”
Never one for false modesty, she implored, “Read to me some of the things people are saying about the book.”
“While you jill it?”
“Yeah, it’s a turn-on to know that I get guys hard and women wet.”
“Well, one person called you a slut and said that you do all this just for attention.”
“That is not true,” she said emphatically, “being a slut is its own reward.”
“You could call the attention a fringe benefit.”
She was too busy now to laugh at my pun.
Overcome by her perspicuous paramour, Lo lunged forward with a long, lusty moan.
As she recovered from her self-inflicted squirt, I asked her, “Do you think we should do it again for Valentine’s Day?”
“I’m hoping we’ll do it long before then!”
“I mean a free book for fans.”
“Oh,” she said, realizing her mistake. “Sure. Maybe we could ask our readers to send in their Valentine’s Day stories and send a free book to the top ten that we publish.”
“That’s a great idea!”
“Photos are also welcome,” she added. “Now do me, Daddy. I’ve only had two orgasms tonight and you know I need at least three.”
“Lo, you really are a slut for attention!”
“I got 99 problems, but being a slut ain’t one.”
Sore, but not Satisfied
We watched Boogie Nights up until the scene where the newbie pornstar, Dirk Diggler (Mark Wahlberg) is filmed by the seasoned director, Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds), making love to his wife, Maggie/“Amber Waves” (Julianne Moore). At that point, Lo was too turned on from watching the movie while cock-warming me to continue. We retired into the bedroom where she proceeded to ask me, “I bet you’d like to film me auditioning all those men who want to be pornstars, wouldn’t you Daddy?”
“I thought you were sore?” I asked her, referring to her masturbation marathon earlier in the day.
“Sore, but not satisfied. Fuck me. I like it when it hurts.”
I slid in her slippery snatch and she moaned with pleasure and pain.
“I think you’d like to be auditioning them,” I responded to her.
By the way her eyes rolled to the back of her head, I could tell that the image of her being the older seductress, seducing young, aspiring actors, getting them to break through the role and into the authentic enjoyment of her body, was turning her on.
While her fantasyland role was screening in the adult theater of her dark and dirty mind, my own thoughts were scrawling across my cerebrum. Since I had cum on my own earlier that day, my stamina was augmented. I had plenty of time, while Lo bounced up-and-down on my rod to the beat of her own drum, to explore the following musings.
I began with Boogie Nights and the thought of how, yes, Lo was right, I could easily see myself in the role of the director, Jack Horner, filming his own wife as she slept with various pornstars. Turning her lustful liaisons into works of art was already my forte. My mind then turned to the late, great Orson Welles and his love affair infatuation with Oja – his muse, mistress, and movie star of films such as F for Fake, and The Other Side of the Wind. A documentary about the making of the latter movie came out a couple years ago and in it, those who were on set with Welles recalled how he wanted to film, at great length, a pornographic sex scene starring Oja with Robert Random (actual actor’s name). Perhaps the aging Welles (he was between 55 and 61 while making it) took delight in seeing his young mistress (she was between 24 and 30 while making it) getting delight from a younger man who could give it to her. Sounds familiar.
“Deeper, Daddy, please,” she whined as she rode me, startling me out of my musings.
I opened my eyes and saw her pulling at her nipples over me. “Am I your pornstar?” she asked.
I tried to meet her descending hips with ascending thrusts of my own. She needed to feel the tip of my shaft on that magic spot deep inside her. If I were larger, longer, harder, I would press that button without even trying. But, alas, that was not the case.
Her question turned my thoughts from directors making their muses the material of art, to that wannabe pornstar who used her creative powers of writer, director, and actor to live out her clear fantasy of being fucked on camera. Frankie Shaw, in her series SMILF, used every opportunity to get naked, get laid, and get herself off in her show. I wondered how her husband, Zach Strauss, enjoyed watching her perform completely gratuitous sex scenes on the show. Let’s be clear, none of her sexpoloits were essential to the story – from her fantasy gangbang in the pilot where she is fucked by a basketball team of black men, to her seducing the boy she babysat, to the creepy scenes of her naked in a bathtub with her fictional child. None of that advanced the plot in a way that it couldn’t have done without those scenes. But, given the creative license she had, she used it to be as licentious as she could, making her the star – the pornstar.
Lo wasn’t cumming. She got up, off of me and commanded, “Get behind me and fuck me, hard!” She was on all fours on the bed and needed me to stand up, perpendicular to her, as she looked in the full-length mirror before her, watching us fuck, as she might watch a porno.
“Come on, Daddio! Really ram it home,” she called over her shoulder.
I thrust at her with all I had. I was panting, sweating, wondering if my back was going to be sore for a week.
Mercifully, she began to cum. I could feel her pussy clenching, preparing to eject me and ejaculate. Her voice was insistent. “Cum! Cum!” she demanded, knowing that there were mere seconds left before I wouldn’t be able to remain deep inside her.
“Where do you want me to cum?”
“Inmeinmeinmeinme!”
I don’t do well with cumming on command. If she had said, “Whatever you do, don’t cum,” then there would have been no problem. Besides, I had, at her recommendation, already cum once that day. I was near my limit.
It was already too late. The torrent had been unleashed. The spillage had gushed down her legs and now the dam was about to break, flooding me right out of her.
Her legs were quivering and she was pounding the bed with her fist as she screamed “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”
I backed up and watched the demonic possession take hold as she lost control of her faculties, senses, bodily movements, and sanity.
Her orgasms are simultaneously a full-body and out-of-body experience. They are sublime to watch, in the full sense of that word: terrifyingly beautiful.
The bed covers were drenched; her body lifeless on top of the mess she had made.
Slowly, her breathing steadied and resumed regularity.
She rolled over as if she had been hit by a Mac truck.
“Wow!” was all she said. And then, a little while later, “I won’t be able to walk, sit, or cross my legs tomorrow!”
“I guess you’ll just have to lie in bed all day.”
“That’s ok, it’s my favorite place to be and my favorite position.”
She got off the bed and began cleaning up the sodden bedding, throwing all of it in the laundry basket.
“Feeling better?”
“You didn’t cum,” she had the gall to complain.
“I did, just not with you.” I knew that remark would piss her off.
She gritted her teeth and growled at me.
“You told me to fuck Stoya, remember?”
“But on these short days in January, I really needed an injection of vitamin D, if you know what I mean.”
“It would have just come out in the wash anyhow.”
“That’s not the point.”
“What is the point?”
She thought for a moment. “I like to have the power to make you ejaculate on command.”
“Talk about a control freak. I did ejaculate on command – your first command. You told me to jack off while you masturbated to oblivion.”
“But I thought you knew the Golden Rule: Love thy woman as thyself.”
“Oh, is that the rule? I thought you said it was: Love thyself and often.”
“That’s my rule. Not yours.”
“So, why did you tell me to go away instead of letting me watch?”
“Well, you made me jealous when looking at all those women.”
“You’re the one who wanted to look at them with me!”
“Fiddle-dee-dee,” she said, dismissively. “I wanted to make you jealous.”
“Oh, so it had nothing to do with being turned on by them?”
“There was that too. But now I feel so slutty.”
“You should.”
“No, Daddy. I mean, not only was I cheating on you. . .”
“It’s not really ‘cheating’ if I know about it and condone it.”
“I was corresponding with a guy online.”
“Today?”
“Yeah, well, like every day.”
“And?”
“His name is John. I call him my internet boyfriend.”
“I think you mentioned him to me.”
“And I was cheating on him with another guy. Or maybe I was cheating on the other guy with John. I don’t know. It all gets so confusing.”
“Let me see your other boyfriends.”
She showed me their cumtribute photos.
“Looks like I have stiff competition!”
Masturbation Marathon
Lo and I were in the living room, sitting on opposite ends of the couch. She was looking at her phone. I sat with my laptop open, reading emails, when suddenly, up popped an email in our shared account. Unlike most of our fan mail, it wasn’t directed to Lo, it was addressed to me. And it had a few photos attached. Sexy photos. Of my female fan.
“What are you looking at?” Lo asked, never one to be unobservant.
“Nothing,” I clumsily lied.
“What do you mean nothing?”
“Just an email,” I said, telling the truth, trying to pass it off as nothing.
“Let me see,” she said, scooting over, closer to me, suspicious.
How does she do that? How does she know when something is amiss?
My heart was racing. She gets so jealous.
There was nothing to do but give in to the inevitable.
I showed her the email and the photos.
“Nothing huh? Who is she?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. Just a fan. A connoisseur of fine literature. A grateful reader. A woman of exquisite taste in art.”
“You really don’t know who she is?”
“I swear.”
“She just wrote to you for the first time?”
“Yes.”
“You haven’t carried on a correspondence with her?”
“No, absolutely not.”
“You like her?”
“What do you mean, like her?”
“You find her attractive?”
That is a very dangerous question. The female author of the epistle in question was, in point of fact, appealing. As her missive made clear, she was a wife and mother whose sex life had fallen fallow in the past few years as the children occupied more of her time and energy. But reading about my sex life with Lola had rekindled something deep down inside her and she just wanted to show me exactly where it was rekindled.
“She’s not unattractive,” I said, attempting to be as neutral as possible.
“Let’s play a little game,” said Lo. I was quizzical. “I’ll go through photos of our fans and you tell me if you find them sexy. But let’s do it in the bedroom.”
“What?”
“Yeah, just be honest,” she said as she walked down the hall.
“Are you trying to get me deeper in the hole?” I asked, following behind her.
“Depends on which hole you mean.”
GULP.
“Let’s start,” she said as she took out her computer and went to her special stash of emails and photos. She unzipped my pants and grabbed onto my flaccid member as she pulled up photo after photo. Honestly, I was too scared to get hard.
After about five or ten, she paused and looked at me a moment.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Lo, you know perfectly well what’s wrong. For years now, you’ve made the nature of our relationship clear. Now you want me to look at other women? I think that I’m being set-up.”
“No no no,” she said with a smile. “I’m just feeling like changing things up a bit.”
“You know, I could get just as hard looking at photos of men who’ve sent you cumtributes.”
“Well, maybe I’ll throw in a few of those as well. But don’t be bashful. Let’s keep on playing.”
She scrolled through scores of sexy photos and, for each one she gave me a bit of backstory, telling me the names of each woman and a bit of bio.
“That’s Floss,” she said.
“Yes, I know Floss,” I responded as she went through photo after sexy photo of her.
“And this is Karla.”
“I know Karla too. In fact I wrote about her.”
“Yes, that’s right. Did you know her hubby, Chris, gets off to me when he has her at home?”
“Doesn’t surprise me.”
“This is the author, Larry Archer’s wife.”
“Is she a fan?”
“I don’t know, but I’m a fan of hers. . . and his!”
“And this is. . .” The list went on-and-on. With each new set of photos that Lo opened from her password-protected fap file, she grew a little more excited. If she was a guy (and she sure acts like one), she would have had a raging hard-on at this point. I have no doubt that her clit was fully tumid. She was reaching for it.
“Um, can you give me a minute?” she asked.
“What?”
“Here,” she said, passing me the Stoya Destroya vagina. “You can use this if you want to wank. But only use my photos.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m gonna have me a wank too.”
“But you want me to leave.”
“Yeah, is that ok?”
“Um no. Not really.”
“Just give me a little while.”
She got out of bed to escort me to the door as she got out of her clothes. She put her panties on the doorknob as if she had a paramour over, but it was just her and her fingers, toys, and binders full of women.
I went back to the living room, confused, carrying my vagina. Well, Stoya’s vagina. Carrying a vagina.
I returned to the bedroom and knocked on the door furtively.
“What?” she asked, not opening the door.
“Lube,” I said. “You didn’t give me the lube.”
The door opened a crack. I saw her standing naked. She looked good. Her arm extended, dropping the tube of lube in my hands.
“OK?” she asked, shutting the door.
I walked away again.
Finding my way onto the couch, I began writing – this story.
Lo’s orgasmic arias were audible throughout the house. They rose and fell, crescendo, decrescendo. So many ups and downs I lost count. I looked at the vagina sitting next to me and said, “It’s bad enough she needs more from me. Don’t you just sit there and look despondent at me that she’s getting all the action. It’s not my fault you don’t have arms, hands, or fingers to help yourself out.”
Finally, I made use of Stoya, more for her sake than mine. She looked so sad there.
I came, one brief onanistic climax, looking at Lo’s photos on the internet while Lo, in the flesh, was having a grand old time fucking herself just down the hallway. I got up to do the proper aftercare cleaning of Stoya in the second bathroom and saw Lo’s panties still prominently displayed on the doorknob as Lo went at it.
I returned to the couch and took a long nap.
I was woken up by the feeling of Lo’s lips on my flaccid cock.
“What are you doing?”
“Cock-warming,” she said as she lay naked on the couch between my legs, looking up at me.
“You want something?”
“No, Daddy.”
“No?”
“I’m sore.”
“What the hell was going on in there?”
“You really want to know?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I started off jilling to the women I was showing you, but then I was into the cumtributes I’ve been getting. I’m such a slut.”
“Agreed.”
“No, you don’t know why I’m saying that.”
“Do tell.”
“Well, I guess it’s bad enough that I am not faithful to you.”
“I don’t mind. . . usually.”
“But I have a sort of internet boyfriend.”
“What is that?”
“You know, like a work wife or a work husband.”
“You mean when people become overly chummy with people they work with?”
“Yeah, like that, but in my case, it’s with people I’ve met online.”
“Go on.”
“Well, I’ve been cheating on one of them with another guy.”
“I’m sure they don’t expect monogamy from you, dear.”
“Yeah, they’re both married themselves.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“That’s just it!”
“What?”
“Do you think I have a problem?”
“Other than being a nymphomaniacal, egomaniacal hotwife attention whore?”
“Yeah, other than that.”
“No, not at all.”
“Really?”
“If your biggest problem is that you’re sexting with someone behind the back of your long-distance lover while shutting me out of the bedroom so you can fist-fuck yourself because you’re turned on by your fandom, well, hey, we all should be that lucky!”
“I love you, Daddy,” she said, before returning to cock-warming me.
“Want to watch a movie?”
“Sure. What?”
“How about Boogie Nights? Have you ever seen it?”
“No.”
“Oh, then you’re in for a treat.”
- Photos used with permission.
Sweet Charity
It was late and all through the house not a creature was stirring, only Lo, clicking her mouse.
I was on my side of the bed, facing away from Lo, but I could feel the side of her thigh up against my back and the gentle rocking of the bed. I gave it a minute, or twenty. But when the motions didn’t cease and the moans increased, I rolled over to face her.
She was sitting up in bed, naked, her legs bent at the knees, one of them had been resting against me. Her computer was between her legs, as one of her hands manipulated it and the other manipulated her clit. The thin white strings of her earbuds dangled over her bare breasts on their way to their hidden nooks under her thick dark hair.
“Daddy,” she complained, as if my rolling over interrupted her activities.
“You know I’m trying to sleep here, Lo, right?”
“Just a couple more minutes,” she said without taking her eyes away from the screen. “I’m getting close.” Her voice was unusually loud because of the sounds kept out by the earbuds and their volume in her ears.
“Your onanistic sessions are taking longer and longer,” I observed.
“Shhhh,” she hissed, unconsciously. I don’t even know if she heard what I said.
I rolled back on my side, away from her in order to allow her her privacy while she finished. She seemed put off by my lack of interest.
“Daddy.”
“What?”
“Don’t you want to know what I’m looking at?”
I was going to be informed either way I answered so I said, “Yes, Lo, what is it that has you all riled up?”
“My friend Sam.”
“Sam? Who’s Sam?”
“I told you. He and his wife are big fans.”
“OK.”
“Well, he just wrote to me. You want to hear what he said?”
“I’m on the edge of my seat.”
“I’m on the edge too.”
“What did Sam say?”
“He said: ‘I had a sex dream about you the other night. We were having sex in my bed, next to Alia as she slept, and I came inside you four times before I woke up with a major hard-on and had to stroke to you until I came for real.’ And you know what I said?”
“What?”
“‘I’m so flattered! It would feel soooo good to have you cum inside me four times! I’d be oozing your cum all day. Did you tell Alia about your dream?’”
“OK, and he said?”
“He said, ‘I didn’t tell Alia about the dream. It never came up. I did use her as a cumdump last night though. I was reading through your posts and got super horny, but she wasn’t in the mood for sex, so I asked her if she would mind if I came inside her pussy and she was fine with that. I was so horny from reading about you that it only took maybe 30 seconds of pounding her before I blew my load deep inside her. It was so hot using her as a cumdump. I really enjoy giving women pleasure, but sometimes it’s nice to focus just on my own pleasure.’ Isn’t that hot?”
As she asked, her orgasm began to take over her body, causing her to twitch and convulse. She moved her laptop just fast enough to avoid squirting on it. I grabbed it from her and viewed the photos Sam had sent accompanying his little virtual postcard to Lo.
When Lo was done, she got up (and got me up) to change the soaking sheets.
“Sam says that Alia wants to be more like you.”
“I know! Isn’t it flattering?”
“Lola Down – inspiring hotwives everywhere.”
“I like that. Did you just think of it?”
“A stroke of genius.”
“Did you say stroke?”
“I did, but not with the meaning that Sam has for stroke.”
“Can I stroke you, Daddy?” she asked, getting into the newly made bed with me and grabbing my cock.
“You still want more?”
“I’ve yet to find my upper limit when it comes to sex.”
“Fine. Turn on your back and spread your legs.”
If there was a male equivalent to what Sam described his wife, Alia, as – a “cumdump” – then I was it. I was a prop for Lo’s pussy to palpitate upon.
I was balls-deep into her soaked, sloppy pussy. Her secretions slathered me from my crotch to my knees. She was so slippery at this point that I could hardly feel anything as I repeated the motions that turned on her spigot.
“I want you to gift me,” she said, breathing heavily.
“What?” I asked, looking down at her face as it contorted with pleasure. Her eyes were shut and she was clearly envisioning something with her imagination.
“Instead of just passively giving permission for me to fuck other people, I want you to give me —- as a gift.”
“To whom?”
“Anyone.”
She came yet again as she said it.
I pulled out, allowing her body to recover. The sheets were drenched. Her puss was gaped. Her breaths were deep, long, and loud.
“Why’d you stop?” she eventually queried.
How to tell her that her extreme arousal made fucking her indistinguishable from dipping my cock in a widemouthed jar full of warm water?
“I’m old,” I said. “I need a break.” Not a lie, but maybe not the whole truth.
“That’s why I want you to gift me,” she replied. “If you can’t handle me, then might as well give me to someone who can.”
“Can’t handle you, or can’t satisfy you?” I asked.
“A little from column A, a little from column B.”
“How about you gift me your ass and I’ll show you a column that will satisfy you, if you can handle it.”
“I thought you said you need a break.”
“Breaktime is over. Show me the back door and I’ll get to it in the workroom.”
“Nah,” she said, nonchalantly.
“What do you mean, nah?”
“Not today, ole man.”
“But you ‘gift’ your ass to the brothers and they don’t ask, or even beg like I do.”
“I do that for you.”
“How is it for me?”
“It makes you jealous. It’s practically the only thing I can do to make you jealous. And when I don’t allow you to have my ass, it makes you even more jealous.”
“You know me too well.”
“Why do you want my ass so badly?”
Rather than tell her the actual reason – that her pussy had become too much of a bath for me, I said, “It’s like Peter Gabriel sings.”
“What?”
“Don’t you know the song?” I asked. Her perplexed look indicated I had to recite it for her:
In your ass
The light, the heat
In your ass
I am complete
In your ass
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your ass
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your ass
I see the light and the heat
In your ass
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see in your ass
“I don’t think those are the lyrics,” she said, laughing.
“Close enough. Now show me the doorway to a thousand churches.”
“Do you have the church key?”
“That I do!”
“Fine, but only because you’re such a fool.”
“If that’s what it takes to have your ass, then I’ll be the court jester!”
“Hurry up and use your bauble and jingle your bells,” she said, rolling on her tum and spreading her ass cheeks for me.
I slid right in and she repeated, “I want you to gift me.”
“Give you away, like a father giving away his daughter, the bride.”
“Oh my God, that would be even better.”
“What would?”
“If I wore a white wedding gown.”
“Maybe I could give you away in a church. We’d call it Christmas charity.”
“FUCK!!! I’m cumming. . . in my ass!”
Unlike her pussy, which squeezes me out when she squirts, her ass clenches, but just enough to make it feel even better, but not evict me. She sprayed the newly replaced sheets beneath her as I ejaculated deep in her orifice.
I slid out of her slowly, taking my sweet time.
She was lying in her own puddle, panting.
“Are you going to clean me off or. . .”
“Come here,” she said, not moving.
I put my cock in front of her open mouth. She took it in and sucked it clean.
“That’s my good girl.”
She smiled.
COVID Birthday
“Happy birthday!” said Lo in a sing-song tone.
I rolled over. It was early. Earlier than Lo gets up in the morning. She wanted to make the day special for me since she knew that we couldn’t have a party or celebrate in any way that resembled birthdays past.
“Wanna have birthday sexy?” she said, rubbing her large breasts up against my bare back in bed, swinging her right leg up and over my hip and sliding her pussy up and down my hip.
“Not now,” I said like a real ingrate.
“Oh, don’t be like that. Let’s get it on. You’ll be the oldest person I ever fucked. Again.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Just checking.”
I slid my legs over the side of the bed and sat up. I sat for a while contemplating the day before me. I’m not a very social or sociable person. That’s Lo’s department. But this COVID thing did drive home just how much I actually enjoy being with people.
This year there would be no party, no rowdy crowd, now carousing. Just a few cards. Maybe a phone call or two. I had already told Lo, absolutely NO Zoom party.
I stood up slowly and made my way to the bathroom.
“Leave it open!” Lo called, as usual. She has a fetish for seeing a man pee.
I shut the door behind me.
When I emerged from the privy, I found Lo on the bed, legs spread, finger placed between her labia.
“Ready Daddio?”
“Not now, Lo.”
She rolled over and stuck her bum in the air. “Birthday spanking?”
I patted her behind gently as I walked by it, exiting the bedroom to go make my coffee.
It was a weekday and so I went through my usual morning routine to get ready for work.
Lo, to my surprise, got dressed and was ready to go out the door before I was.
“Forget to buy a card?” I asked sarcastically. It was cruel.
“Yeah,” she said, “I’m going to buy a condolence card since you seem to be set on mourning everything you don’t have.”
She left and I suddenly felt very alone. Having Lo around to spout off my spoiled whining to was better than having no one around.
I ate breakfast, got dressed, hopped in the car, and drove to the office.
There would be no one at the office, again, thanks to COVID. Everyone was working remotely.
I climbed the stairs to the floor that my office is on and turned to walk down the long hall to it when, looking up, I saw that the door to my office was open and, sitting there, framed by the doorway, was a sexy blonde wearing, it appeared, nothing but her black facemask.
I practically rubbed my eyes thinking I was still dreaming. Was this a femme fatale straight out of a fifties’ movie? Was I going to walk up to my office and she’d sit there, light a long cigarette in an even longer black filter, and speak to me in a sultry voice? “Mr. H. I would like to hire you to sue my husband. It’s a hard case. Do you like it when it’s hard? I know I do.”
I walked slowly down the silent hallway. Her eyes were trained on mine. I got to the doorway. She uncrossed her legs and spread them wide. I could see now she was wearing merely an extreme micro bikini. I stopped at the threshold.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“Happy birthday, Mr. H,” she replied.
Before I could ask how she knew it was my birthday, how she got into my office, or even who she was, she added, “Why don’t you come inside and shut the door behind you so we can have some privacy?”
I took a step in and closed the door. It was then that I saw, inside my office, just out of sight from the doorway, was Lola, sitting in the waiting room chair. Oh, thank God!
“Lola,” I said in my Ricky Ricardo voice.
“Hi Daddy! Surprised?”
“What’s going on here?”
“This is Candie. She’s a strip- er. . . exotic dancer, and she’s here to perform for you.”
“For me?”
“Well, for us.”
Candie stood up and just smiled. She stood in the middle of the reception area on the hardwood floor in her tall stripper heels.
Lo turned on some music, Candie’s playlist, I imagine.
I smell sex and candy here
Who’s that lounging in my chair
Who’s that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Very appropriate, especially since her long blonde hair did smell like candy – cotton candy. I sat down in the leather club chair where Lo had been and enjoyed the show. She danced for a bit in her teeny-bikini, and then the top came off. I saw her nipples were very hard. That’s when I realized it was chilly in the office. Lo had opened the windows to keep the air circulating. Can’t be too careful.
To my surprise, Candie’s bottoms, what little there were of them, also came off. As they did, Lo found her way to me and slid me out of my jeans. She reached down to see how hard I was. Very. She got between my legs and went down on my rod like it was her candy. I put up no resistance.
Lo looked up at me and said, “You like, Daddy?”
I looked down at her and said, “I do. But I’d rather have you.”
That didn’t take much convincing. Lo stood up and, as if she were on stage with Candie, removed her blouse, bra, skirt, and panties. She kept her heels on. Then she sat on my lubricated lingam and I eased into her dripping yoni. She was facing away from me, toward Candie. Lo put her right hand down to her crotch and made small circles on her clit while gently rising and lowering, as if riding a horse English style. Candie was clearly performing for Lola and only secondarily for me. She seemed to like what she saw and, judging from how wet Lo was, Lo enjoyed Candie’s performance just as much.
Candie sat on the floor and diddled her own pink parts. Her breasts were small and perky. She was probably Lo’s age or maybe a little younger. She was confident in her performance. I whispered in Lo’s ear, “Where’d you find her?”
“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” said Lo.
“I am older, today!”
“Sit back and enjoy the show.”
I did just that. I was too self-conscious to cum. But Lo wasn’t. Thank goodness the chair was leather and the floor hardwood. Easy clean-up.
When her performance was over, Candie again wished me a happy birthday and thanked Lo. She said, “I haven’t worked in months. This was really helpful. And I thoroughly enjoyed it.”
She got dressed as Lo used paper towels and all-purpose cleaner on the chair and floor.
Candie let herself out, wearing a long leather trench coat like a character out of The Matrix.
“Well, well, well,” I said to Lo. “Do you have any more surprises up your sleeve for me today?”
“You’ll have to take off all my clothes again to find out.”
“All your clothes are off!!!”
“Does it look like I have anything up my sleeve?”
“I imagine you have more creative places to hide my birthday gifts.”