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Emme Witt-Eden’s Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl

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Two weeks ago we were lucky enough to be asked by our dear friend, Emme Witt-Eden (known to many of you as “Mysterious Witt”), if we would read and review her newly published memoir: Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl. We said “YES!” very enthusiastically.

We weren’t disappointed. The book was a pleasure to read. It was a page turner and the short chapters were bite-sized but delicious! We each devoured it and then, when we got together to discuss the review, we devoured each other!

Here is the review of the book. In the next post we’ll have an exclusive interview with the author!

Promo for Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl

Fuck Eat, Pray, Love.  Read Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl instead. There’s more sex, more insight, and it’s better written. Oh, and there’s also more sex.  Did I mention that?

Emme Witt-Eden’s Confessions takes you, the reader, on a journey from her midlife, middle-class, middling marriage to her terrific, if tormented, sexcapades of self-sexploration.

After Emme’s husband confesses to having a string of affairs, facilitated by Ashley Madison, Emme decides it’s high time to declare the time of death on her nearly non-existent sex life and venture out into the world of L.A. dating.

Emme first browses the Casual Encounters page of Craigslist (the story begins over a decade ago) to find her next cock to conquer. After a few revelatory romps in the sack, she then transforms into a “Middle-Aged Fuck-Girl.” Emme prefaces the book with six “definitions” of a fuckgirl. I have always thought of a fuckgirl as a modern take on the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but one who doesn’t just flit about like Holly Golightly, but also gets down and dirty, living up to the updated title. (Although, to be fair, Holly Golightly was a prostitute, or, as Truman Capote said, a New York City “geisha.”)

If I am correct in this comparison between f-girls and MPDGs, then it may be that Emme is neither, for another defining characteristic of both is an almost complete lack of inner depth, subjectivity, and interiority, as well as a compulsion to define oneself as simply and merely the romantic interest (some may say ‘play-thing’) of a man. Any man. All men.

By contrast, the defining characteristic of this memoir (as it should be for any memoir) is Emme’s self-reflection (in some passages, literally), her sense of inner growth and turmoil, and quite poignantly, her feelings of responsibility to her children, guilt and remorse about her failed marriage, and longing to find herself.

This travelogue to the depths of Emme’s soul and the bedrooms of single and married men around L.A. is told through a crisp narrator who uses some beautiful metaphors. Reflecting on her insecurity about entering the dating world as a forty-year-old single mom of two, Emme says, “If my new boat was bogged down with my issues, I decided sex would be my life raft.”

The overarching “issue” is Emme’s reeling in pain from the shock of her husband’s prolific infidelity and, even more than this, his ability to deceive Emme for so many years into thinking that he just wasn’t interested in sex. As it turned out, he was interested in sex, just not with her (until she throws him out, that is).

Consciously or unconsciously, or maybe unconsciously until, in the process of writing it became conscious, Emme’s promiscuity was a way of taking revenge on her philandering husband David, as well as feeling her own feminine power. Emme’s vagina becomes both the site of her emotional charging station – “With each thrust of Kent’s cock, he pushed life back into me.” – and a symbolic scar – “his actions were akin to a knife reopening the wound left by David’s betrayal.”

With each new partner, Emme learns something about herself. When one of her paramours wishes to photograph her nude, she says, “Undressing in front of Russell felt like shedding not just clothes, but also the roles I had been trapped in for years. It was as if with each piece of fabric that fell away, I was peeling back layers of the persona I had created alongside David – and identity that had never truly aligned with who I was.”

The newly single-and-ready-to-mingle Emme is eager to shed her partnered persona. “Wife. Mother. These titles clung to me like a suffocating cloak, concealing the essence of the woman I truly was.”

Finding the woman she truly was involved feeling sexy, desired, and often high on orgasm induced oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. The transformation was palpable, including by her children, one of whom remarked that she seemed “80% nicer” than she was when with her husband.

But the path to putting her past behind her wasn’t as easy as she was. It involved some bad dates, some duds, some “blue labia,” and sometimes simply the blues. Emme is not only a complex and likable narrator, she, unlike Elizabeth Gilbert, is concerned about others. She is put off by men who are self-absorbed, self-centered, and worst of all, sexually selfish. She connects with others who, like herself, are able to give-and-take in both conversation and bed.

Realizing that some men just didn’t feel it necessary to reciprocate pleasure, or were too lazy to do so, she begins carrying a “pocket rocket” with her on dates. Her breaking the fourth wall narration is endearing, as when she explains, “I get it – this might sound illogical. Hear me out on this one. If I wanted to make sure I had an orgasm on every date – and I wanted to have one with a man – if he couldn’t handle that, I could speed things along with a vibe. If I always had a vibrating friend on hand when I ended up in bed with these guys, I would always be guaranteed an orgasm.”

She’s also very funny when she tosses caution to the wind and upgrades to carrying with her a very large, bulky, and heavy Hitachi Magic Wand in a backpack when she goes on dates. Can’t say I blame her. It gets the job done in a jiffy! And it can double as a serious weapon in a pinch!

In addition to most of Emme’s epiphanies occurring in various bedrooms around L.A., rather than having to travel to distant lands, as Gilbert did, Emme also stands leagues apart from Gilbert in her care of and for others, particularly her children. And, in a way that characterizes Emme’s humanity and humility in ways easily distinguished from Gilbert, Emme is not beyond self-reproach and self-doubt. As she muses:

I feared their [bad] behavior was actually my fault. It was my fault for letting them eat donuts so close to dinner. It was my fault that I buckled to their donut demands in the first place. It was my fault that I was in love with Zachary. It was my fault that he was gone.

And it was my fault that David and I couldn’t make our marriage work. It was my fault he cheated on me. I had withheld sex, so he found other covert lovers. His cheating was totally understandable. I was to blame.

And now my new lover had dumped me because I wouldn’t show my face in a ‘Casual Encounters’ ad.

I was to blame for everything.

No, this is not sexy. This is not MPDG material. This is not fuck-girl fun. But it is real. And deep. And it shows the fear we all feel at one time or another.

At one point, Emme describes the blissful pain of her pussy after a night of little sleep and lots of big dick pile driving with a guy named Bryce. She compares the bush beating discomfort to the euphoric feeling of being sore the day after a good workout. No pain, no gain. The same could be said for Emme’s overall experience as recalled in this memoir. She gained wisdom, but it came with pain. And she came, again, and again, and again.

As Emme Witt-Eden’s online moniker, “mysterious witt,” suggests, she’s a woman of mystery and wit, but also of indomitable spirit and juicy womanly bits. My only regret of this memoir is where it ends. But, it gives me hope that we can expect a sequel describing how this mid-forties f-girl and MILF gets herself into being a dominatrix. Emme, your readers want more! I hope you won’t leave us longing for a second like some of your lovers left you titillated but not satiated. Perhaps the name of her next memoir will be Fuck, Eat, Pray, Love!

A little cross-endorsement from Emme Witt-Eden

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Sunstroke

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[Continued from Young Lust, Dirty Woman]

Lola at the nude beach

The dad was lying back, sleeping or simply suntanning.  I was sweltering in the sun and so I got up and asked Lo, “How’s the water?”

“So refreshing!”

“Looks a little chilly,” I said as I looked down at her pointy nipples.

“It’s delightful.”

“Seems like you’re delighting in more than the water and weather.”

“Go on, Daddio, try it for yourself.”

Was she trying to get rid of me?

I walked to the water.  It was like bath water.  I didn’t hesitate to get in and cool down as much as I could.  I felt myself burning in the sun, but didn’t want to curtail Lo’s little jaunt.  I thought that maybe, if I stayed in the water, I would avoid a burn.  I knew from experience that was not true, but it felt better to be in the water than shriveling up dry in the sun.  I sat in the shallow water looking out at the Mediterranean.  To my surprise, not much later, the mom walked into the water beside me.  She passed me.  I saw from the back that she was much more heavyset than I had thought when I saw her sitting on the blanket.  She was rather round on the bottom.

Model, Jennifer Battistoni Kincade

She stopped about five feet in front of me and bent over to splash water on her face and shoulders.  As she did so, I could see her FUPA (fat upper pubic area) fall forward like a curtain in front of her.  Her ass was large and round.  There was so much flesh that I couldn’t even see her pussy.  I wondered to myself how her husband fucked her, but then I remembered his enormous member and realized he probably could fuck her from a foot away when fully hard.

The thought crossed my mind that she might be putting on a show for me.  She was very attractive and this view was. . .

Uh oh!  Now I was getting hard.  The tip of my cock was pointing upward like a mushroom growing out of the water.  I dared not stand up because then I’d be even more conspicuous, but what will happen when she turns around?

I didn’t have to wait long to find out because no sooner had the panicked thought presented itself, than she did turn around and look right at me.  I saw her eyes glance down at my attention-grabbing appendage and she smiled!

Thankfully she didn’t say anything.  She just splashed water on her heaving breasts and lifted them up, probably to cool down the underside where they pressed up against her belly.  I found it all captivating (and arousing).

While I was contemplating the plump Aphrodite before me, I noticed she was pointing behind me.  I couldn’t see by simply turning my neck and so I had to stand up.  I figured she had seen an erect penis before and that perhaps she’d take it as a compliment, so I got up to look behind me since she seemed insistent that I see.  She was smiling, as if delighted by the vision.

When I turned around, I saw Lo and the boy wrestling or wriggling on the sand.  Then I realized they were having a tickle fight.  The mom said, “Bella, bella!”  That I understood.  She thought it was beautiful how they were getting along.  She was indicating to me her approval.  She doesn’t know Lo.

I walked back up to the blanket and saw that the two of them had separated.  Lo was sitting in the sand, her legs spread, heaving heavily.  I saw that between her legs, the sand was darker – wet.  Oh boy.  Did she?

“Squirt or pee?” I asked her, judgmentally.

“Both?” she said, guiltily.

“Lo.”

The father said something to me and I turned my head and saw the mom still cooling down in the water.  The baby was in a small carrying seat with a makeshift tent over it.

The father repeated his question to me.  I turned to him.  He was holding his massive cock and pointing at Lo.  “Scoparla?” he said, or something like that.

I was ignorant.

“Fuck,” he finally said in English.  “Fuck her.”  This he knew.  But I was still uncomprehending of whether he wanted me to fuck her or if he wanted to fuck her himself.  So I did the only polite thing and said, “Si, si.”

I soon had my answer, for he got down in the sand on his knees and stroked his cock as he looked at Lo’s shimmering body and glistening pussy lips.  Soon he was inside her.  He fucked her violently.

Lo, for her part, wrapped her legs around his wide torso and began to moan and groan and say, “Yes, fuck me.”  I think it then dawned on her that he couldn’t understand anything she said other than fuck, so she repeated the term many times.

I looked at the boy who stood to the side of the four armed, four legged beast and watched with wide eyes and an erect penis.  He held his diminutive dick in his hand just as his father had done.

Lo then started saying, “Fuck me you ugly, fat, disgusting old perv!  Fuck me with that massive cock of yours!  You are so abhorrently hideous!  A sea monster, really!”

Occasionally, other beach goers would walk by without stopping.  The mother was in the water, no doubt aware of what was happening, but unconcerned.

“Yes, you gross fucking single tentacled kraken!  That’s my spot.  Fuck!”  Lo is quite poetic when her pussy is activated.

Then she was unable to speak as her body began convulsing.  She looked up, directly into the eyes of the boy by her side, and her eyes communicated everything: delight, ecstasy, pleasure, pain, longing, satisfaction, disgust at herself and the man on top of her, triumph.

The dad kept on plunging into Lo’s gushing cunt, oblivious of her climax and desirous of his.  He pulled his torso up off of Lo’s and held her by her ankles, her legs up in the air, as he fucked her like a piece of meat hanging in the outdoor market.  He then let go of her ankles and greedily grabbed and squeezed her breasts.  He began to slap them and she responded with more sounds of pleasure.  He slapped her tits silly.  She began to cum again, but before she could, he spurted his spunk deep inside her.  She could feel it and that was all she needed to push her over the edge.  Her legs began to tremble and her tits rose and descended with her fast, deep breaths.

All this time her eyes remained fixed on the boy and it was as if the two of them were telepathically communicating mysterious words of love and compassion in a common, yet private language.

The father pulled his incredibly long lance out of Lo’s clam and soon after liquid pearl began to drizzle from her widely dilated lips onto the sand.

The dad and the son stood side-by-side looking down at the kill.  There was a touching moment when the son’s little hand reached to his father’s large one and held it as they gawked at Lo lying on the ground, immobile.

Then, from between Lo’s legs a sudden dribble of pee percolated and puddled by her ass.  The father and son duo smiled at the sight and, as if it gave them both the idea and permission, they too released their bladders and showered Lo with their golden streams.  More than once the father’s and son’s lines crossed and crisscrossed again over Lo’s body as they drenched her in a double dosage of warm urine.

When they were done, Lo was recovered and she got up and walked right past me into the sea.  I saw her exchange smiles and some words with the mother who was still bathing there.  I glanced at the father-son team and smiled a ridiculously twisted grin, feeling awkward and stupid.  They both laughed and went back to sitting on the towel together.  I noticed that the father’s meat hung down now, nearly to his knees.  It no longer had the arch to it that it did when we first arrived.  It was completely flaccid.  The son’s was still rigid though.

When Lo returned from her purifying bath, she said, “OK, Daddy, I think it’s time to go.  I’m beginning to burn.”

“No doubt from the jealousy of Aphrodite Ourania and Aphrodite Pandemos.”

“What?” she asked.

“You make the goddesses of desire hot with jealousy.”

“You flatter,” she said, smiling.

I put my clothes back on.  Lola put on her bikini top and bottom, but carried her shorts and t-shirt.  Lo waved and smiled at the family and patted the little boy on the head before giving him a matronly kiss on the cheek.

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Interview with Porn Star Hotwife Sara Anne and her Husband

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Interview with Porn Star Hotwife Sara Anne and her Hubby

Hotwife Sara Anne

LOLA – Sara Anne – I’m such a BIG fan!  I’m so glad you agreed to this interview.  And I’m really glad the interview with “After Hours Radio” came out first so I could listen to it and come up with some interesting questions based upon what I’ve learned about you and your hubby.

That said, first question: Not sure if you’ve raid Rated X by Maitland Ward, the former “Boy Meets World” star, turned adult film star, but her story reminded me a lot of you.  She was brought up with strict and conventional notions of sex and, though not a prude, she documents the long journey for her personally and professionally to get from where she was to where she is now.  What was your upbringing like and how did you get into making your own adult content?

Maitland Ward from her “Boy Meets World” days.

Maitland Ward Cute Ginger

Maitland Ward getting off to mysexlifewithlola.com

Inspirational Maitland Ward

Maitland Ward in Blacked ‘Unprofessional’ (Photo 004)

S.A. –  I was raised in a Catholic household that didn’t really talk about sex or educate me on sex and sexuality.  My father was verbally abusive and, as such, I no longer have a relationship with him and sadly my mother passed suddenly over a decade ago now.  I barely even kissed a boy before I was 17, but once I did the floodgates were turned loose and I lost my virginity on the cliche prom night.  From there, I experimented with a lot of different guys and by the time I met my husband I was already well into double digit numbers.  On our first night together we both said we were the best each other ever had and we were soon married after that.  It was not long after our marriage that my hubby said that I was so good he had to share me with his friends.  While I was reluctant at first, eventually I did start having sex with him and his friends at parties.  After several years of experimenting with the “lifestyle,” hubby started filming me with other men (with their permission of course).  We showed it to some people and they liked it, so we shared it on social media and before long Amature Pornstar Hotwife Sara Anne was born!

Sara Anne

LOLA – One reason Maitland Ward reminded me of you was because she talks about how, when first getting started, her husband was the camera man.  Question for you, Hubby: Did you frequently fantasize about Sara Anne being with other men (and women), or how did that come about?  Does it turn you on now to see her with other people making porn?

Dirty Girl Sara Anne gets clean.

Hubby – I did!  From the first time I was with her, I thought she was so good that I couldn’t keep her all to myself and I wanted to share her with my friends.  I also knew her “number” and knew that even though she swore she could be “faithful” I would never have wanted that for her.  Why would I take away something from her that she has enjoyed doing so much and was so good at?  I’ve always said, Sara’s men are like going to an amusement park.  She has a favorite ride (me), but she still wants to ride all of the other rides and why would I ever deprive someone I love so deeply of that.  In turn, she has remained “faithful” to me for nearly 20 years now.  We are one of the closest couples you will ever meet and we are definitely each other’s forever.  I still fantasize about her with other men and the only porn I ever watch are her films.  I truly enjoy watching her work her craft and getting it on film for the rest of the world to enjoy as well.  Someday I hope that managing her career and filming her will be my only job.

Taking it hard, Sara Anne

LOLA – Would you, Hubby, ever consider being in a film or photos with Sara Anne?

Hubby –  If you have a keen eye, you can find parts of me in many of her films.  However, for now, my face cannot be shown for business related reasons.  Someday though, I’ll make my first full appearance!

LOLA – I heard on the interview with “After Hours” that one of your “friends” found out about the porn and then outed you.  Can you describe what that was like?

S.A. –  Extremely stressful at first.  We had to do damage control when we first found out that our “friends” were telling all of our other friends about it.  Long story short, ultimately all of our friends told us that they kind of suspected all along but that we had never made them uncomfortable in any way and that they knew we were good people and that it really didn’t change anything about our relationship with them.  We actually did not end up losing a single friend over it and now it’s fun to listen to them ask questions and joke with us about it.

LOLA – You said in that interview that one of the things you had to do was tell your sons about your new profession.  I think you said one of your sons is 16.  How old are they?  And what was their reaction?

MILF Sara Anne

S.A. –  In attempting to keep my family protected and out of the story as much as possible, I will say one is late teens and the other is mid 20s.  The older was okay with it, but didn’t want to know any more.  The younger had a lot of questions but ultimately is also “cool” with it and now can’t be blindsided by friends finding out and not being prepared with a response.  He has even joked with me a couple of times about it.  It did not change our relationship with our children in the slightest and, in fact, I think they are more open and honest with us now that we have been transparent with them.

LOLA – What do you think of the term “MILF”?  Do you think that your sons’ friends (or their parents) see you that way?

Taking it Doggy Style Sara Anne

S.A. – LOL….  Hubby has always considered me a Mom I Love to Fuck.  I honestly try to stay detached from their friends’ parents because I don’t want one of them recognizing me and making things awkward.  When I do interact with them, I’m usually not as glammed up as  you see me on film or photos so I don’t honestly know if they consider me a MILF or not.

LOLA – What are some of the reactions that you’ve received from friends and family when they found out about your work?

S.A. –  As mentioned before, everyone has been very supportive after asking a million questions.  They have seen how strong our relationship is and how well we get along, so it’s hard to argue that we are doing anything wrong.  It’s been over a year since it all came out and I feel like everything has just gone back to normal. . . other than the occasional joke or question now and then.  We both like that we don’t have to hide it any more.  It’s like a huge weight lifted off of our shoulders.

Hot Wife Sara Anne ready for a hot night

LOLA – Hubby, have your guy friends had any response about what Sara Anne does?  Do they say things to you like, “I wish my wife did that” or “Your wife is so hot!  I saw her in the last video and. . .” ?

Hubby –  Honestly, believe it or not, all of my guy friends have been very nonchalant about it and it rarely comes up.  The plus side is when she or we are trying to pick someone up while we are out, we don’t have to sneak around about it anymore.

Midnight Swim with Sara Anne

LOLA – Any negative or judgmental reactions from friends or family?

S.A. –  Honestly, none.  We had one couple that initially did not want to be friends with us any more, but after about six months they decided they missed us.  Our other friends had told them nothing has changed and they realized they were wrong to react the way they did.  We got together and talked it out and now are back to being good friends again.

LOLA – Ever have a screening at your house for friends and family before the video is released?

S.A. – Never, and I don’t think we would ever try to do that.  Just because they are okay with it doesn’t mean we want to shove it in their face.

LOLA – Do you come out of a session with another man and ever go home and, when having an intimate moment with your hubby, tell him how amazing it was?  What is his reaction?

“Can’t wait to tell hubby about this!” – Sara Anne

S.A. – Oh, one of our rules is that he always wants all the details and I happily oblige him.  I enjoy seeing how much it turns him on to hear me talk about it and when the story is done, both of us love him “reclaiming” me.  Sex is never better than when hubby goes last and I truly don’t feel satisfied until I’ve had him after being with another man.

LOLA – Hubby, do you have a preference to see Sara Anne in a scene with another man, another woman, or with multiple men?

Hotwife Sara Anne Smiling

Hubby –  YES!  LOL.  I just enjoy seeing her have fun and seeing her smile, whatever she is doing, whether it’s sex or riding amusement park rides or singing karaoke, her smile means everything to me.

 

Hot Wife Sara Anne having fun.

LOLA – Sara Anne, who are or were some porn stars you admired or got off to either past or present?

S.A. –  Believe it or not, I don’t watch much porn and never watch my own films.  I enjoy having great sex and getting it on film.  I occasionally will do some light research with hubby for ideas for new material, but in general I prefer to make my own fantasies come true rather than watch other people on film.  We both also prefer to watch it live when we do, which is why we love to attend lifestyle parties and enjoy the show that we get to see.  Live porn is always better than screen porn!

LOLA – Hubby, if you’ve been reading what HH writes about me, and I’m not sure if you have, then you know that one of my kinks is turning on married men who have beautiful wives.  I include you in that category.  Any thoughts about me?

Hubby – I said before, the only porn I ever watch is Sara Anne’s, but that doesn’t mean I don’t read it!  The stories are hot and I think it would be incredible to film you and Sara Anne together.  It would be called MILF and Nymph.

Yes, Hotwife Sara Anne is a Cumtributing member of The Match Book Club!

LOLA – Sara Anne, as you know, in my relationship with HH, I’m allowed to play, but he is not.  I get incredibly jealous.  But for you, if the roles were reversed and Hubby was doing the adult films with other women, how do you think that would make you feel?

S.A. –  In the beginning we were strictly a Hotwife couple and I wouldn’t have dreamed of ever sharing him.  I always felt that he would find something better, but over the years he convinced me that he was never going anywhere no matter what.  Eventually we did change to a full-swap couple, although he still prefers to just sit back and sip some bourbon and enjoy the show I put on for him.  While we have made the transition to full-swap, it’s same room only and I can’t imagine a scenario where I would be fully okay with not being there while he was with another woman.  He has and does let me play with other men by myself and perhaps that is just because he has that much faith in us, but in recent years we pretty much only play together.  It’s about enjoying each other’s pleasures together rather than trying to get something from somewhere else.

LOLA – Sara Anne, what was the most fun you’ve had doing this?

S.A. –  Oh wow!  It would be hard to say exactly, as there have been so many different fun experiences.  The first time I squirted, the first time I got DVP’d, my first gangbang. . . and so many more!

LOLA – Do you do this for the money, the fun, or both?

S.A. –  Well Hubby doesn’t see a dime of my income and lets me spend all of my “porn money” on whatever I want.  Of course I use it to buy gifts for him, but mostly it’s to support my “vanilla hobby” (which I will keep private for now).  So yes, the money is nice, but I did it for fun for almost 13 years before I ever made a dime.  It was due to sheer boredom during the pandemic that I found OnlyFans and started my account in May of 2020.  So yeah, it’s always been about fun, but the extra income is really great too and I want to especially give a shout out to my fans who realize that while this is a lot of fun, it’s a lot of work to also bring my films to life.  So, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU to anyone who has ever donated their hard earned money to enjoying watching me do what I love.  It means the world to me and motivates me to keep going for as long as you want to see me having fun with my clothes off!

Sara Anne sucking cock

LOLA – Best part of this job?

S.A. – Being a happily married woman who still gets to experience the entire world of sex that is out there.  I am a proud SLUT and have always said that word stands for “Sexually Liberated Unlike Them!”

L – Worst part of this job?

S.A. –  Trying to find people who are willing to be on camera with me!

LOLA – Would you say you ooze confidence, that this work has made you more confident, or that you struggle with confidence to get naked and have sex with strangers?

S.A. –  I am definitely not a confident girl and that dates back to my upbringing and early boyfriends.  I was also a late bloomer, so no one ever told me I was attractive until I was in my early 20s.  I’m actually extremely shy when you first meet me and am not good at small talk.  That being said, I think I know that I am really great at sex and I’ve been hearing it my entire life, so I honestly have zero issues meeting someone one minute and have them fucking me silly the next.  When it comes to sex, that is where my confidence lies!

LOLA – Gang bang, glory hole, bukkake goals for a film?

S.A. – I have one gang bang in the books (hopefully you have seen it) and another scheduled tentatively for this summer. I’m not opposed to glory hole or bukkake, but again its finding the guys willing!

LOLA – Any kinks or fetishes that are a real turn-on or turn-off for you?

S.A. – I’ll start with turn-offs: anything to do with anal sex.  I’ve tried with professionals, it’s just not a pleasure zone for me.  My pussy is pretty amazing and allows me to orgasm in multiple ways multiple times.  Even the hint at backdoor play turns me off and will get me out of the mood really quickly.  As for turn-ons and fetishes – Oh please creampie me!  I don’t know what it is, but I love when a guy creampies me and especially a new guy!  Sex isn’t complete until I can feel their cock swell inside me just before their cum explodes in my pussy.  I love the new warm wetness its creates and I always orgasm hard instantly as soon as I feel it and it’s the very best way to finish sex with me.

Do not accidentally go in the wrong hole!

Hubby – My biggest turn on is just seeing her naked.  It’s also great watching her with other men and I also love when she adds a new guy to her list.  We have a running joke that when she’s done and the guy has left or we are on our way home, she gets a big hi-five from me.  I know we are always looking forward to the next one!

LOLA – Do you still masturbate and, if so, to what?

S.A. –  I do, at least a few times a week and honestly it’s more about relaxation for me, so I don’t really masturbate to anything in particular.  If hubby is available, I just ask him to fuck me (which he always does), but if he is not around I have my Battery Operated Boyfriends to keep me company.  If anything, it might just be that I saw a hot guy on TV while I was at home alone and if the time is right, I’ll get myself off!

Hubby – Sara learned a long time ago to never let your man leave the house hungry or horny, so she keep me pretty well drained.  After I found out a few years ago that it turned her on to watch me masturbate, I usually only do it when she is present and, in fact, I can’t remember the last time I did it on my own.

LOLA – Best sex of your life?

S.A. –  Any of the countless times with hubby.  He is and always will be the best because he knows what I like and knows how to hit all the right buttons.

Hubby –  Oh definitely Sara Anne.  You have seen her films and that’s what I get to have sex with regularly!

LOLA – I’m a bit of a size queen myself.  I LOVE an unusually long and thick cock.  What about you?

S.A. –  While I have never backed down from a challenge and have had some massive cocks inside me, I honestly prefer an average 6-to-8 inch guy.  I’m a small girl and I have a very naturally tight, wet pussy, so I can’t work with the big ones as well as I can with one that fits nicely in my “hot pocket,” as hubby calls it.  If you watch my films, I think you can see how much more I am capable of doing with an average guy versus a huge guy.  That doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try them all, but I just enjoy it more with an average sized cock.

LOLA – I also find micropenises fascinating.  Ever been with a guy you just couldn’t even feel?

S.A. –  I have, but just one guy a long time ago.  I’ve been pretty happy to discover that in my triple-digit cock experiences they have all been average to above average.  But there was that one guy. . . I just couldn’t even feel it!  I honestly felt terrible for him, but I did let him finish and he did give me great oral, so while I never tried it again, I can still say I had fun.

LOLA – Favorite movie, novel, or television show?

S.A. –  Movie – Steel Magnolias.  Novels, almost anything Stephen King.  Television show?  Depends on my mood, but either “Friends,” “The Office,” or “Supernatural” are always on in the background in my house.

LOLA – Pornstar crush?

Angela White

S.A. –  Right now, I’d love to work with Johnny Sins!

Johnny Sins, Angela White, and Lola on TV

Hubby –  Besides Sara?  Right now, Angela White!

LOLA – Would you recommend this lifestyle to couples?  Why or why not?

Both – It’s not for everyone, as we have found, but those who figure out how to do it and put the jealous feelings aside will find that it makes their relationship closer than any you will find in the vanilla world because you have to have 100% trust and honesty at all times.  The moment you lose that, this would never work.  The great thing is that if you find lifestyle couples that have been together for a long time they will be the coolest, most down to earth, drama free people you have ever met.  Once again, it’s all about having fun and marriage should never be hard!  There are three things that end a marriage: parenting conflicts, money, and sex.  When you eliminate one of those problems from a relationship, you immediately have it 33% better than other couples!

LOLA – What do you write on your tax return as a profession for this income?

S.A. –  Model.

LOLA – Has it ever happened that you’re out with your girlfriends and you’re like, “Oh, sorry, I have to leave, I’m filming tonight”?

S.A. –  Nope, I never plan for things like that to overlap.  In general, on a film day it’s like game day for me.  I spend my morning getting ready and give 100% to filming.  If they did a great job, I should be exhausted by the end, so we don’t usually plan on doing anything after, although sometimes its shorter than planned so we will go out after on occasion.

LOLA – Do your girlfriends have questions about it?  Do they express interest?

Sara Anne with Grace Stewart

S.A. –  They did have a lot of questions and most of them have watched my films on their own and had even more questions after.  All of them have joked that they need to get into it!

LOLA – Would you ever invite one of them to join you?  Or have you ever?

S.A. –  We decided long ago that we will never mix vanilla friends and lifestyle again.  It has caused too many problems and we do our absolute best to stay drama free!

LOLA – Plans for your future career?

S.A. –  Keep having fun!  I plan to continue making films as much and often as possible until people stop watching.  And I’ll remain in the lifestyle until I get too old to do it.  Then I’ll probably just become a nudist.  LOL.

Sara Anne squeezing out that Cream Pie

Triangles of Sadness

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Lola loves to be the fap fodder or wank woman for her fans.  Everyone knows that.  But sometimes there are unintended consequences.  We’ve already remarked upon the concupiscent power of Lo’s corpus.  We frequently hear from our readers that after reading the blog, reading the books, or listening to the audiobooks together, many couples discover that they want to try the hotwife/stag or hotwife/cuck lifestyle.  The stories often bring couples closer together and allow them to explore in a safe environment fantasies and desires that they otherwise would be uncomfortable sharing with each other.  This then leads to discussions of, “Hey, wouldn’t it be fun for you to watch me pick up a guy at a bar?” or “I would so love to see you being fucked by a stranger at a truck stop.”  These conversations can remain fantasy for their lovemaking, or they can turn into real life experiments.  Either way, many couples have written to us about how the blog, books, and audiobooks have been inspiring and rekindled their sex lives.

However, on occasion, the happy ending is elusive or becomes someone else’s happy ending.

This week we have two cautionary tales.  The first couple is our friends Lynn and Red.  Things started out great!  After getting their copy of Match, Cinder & Spark, Volume V: Shorter Shorts, Lynn was eager to get into being a hotwife and Red was just as eager to support her in this new venture.  They created an OnlyFans page and actively sought out bulls for her.  However, within a few weeks, things turned south.  I’m glad to say that it wasn’t because they discovered that ethical non-monogamy wasn’t for them, but rather, because Lynn wasn’t prepared for Red’s lusty longing for Lola.

Lynn and Red

Lynn and Red

Lynn and Red

Lynn really likes Lo

Lynn and Red even turned their cousin Dylan and his girlfriend on to Lo

Lynn

On more than one occasion, Lynn awoke from her slumber to find Red next to her in bed, jacking off to photos, stories, and dreams of Lola.  This created a rift in their relationship.  Lynn realized that it wasn’t merely a passing fancy that Red had a thing for Lo, but a real infatuation.  She began to feel that the hotwife lifestyle she was living wasn’t for their shared pleasure, but rather, Red was trying to make Lynn into Lo’s own image.  It wasn’t Lynn pleasure he was after, but a replica of Lo.  After coming to this conclusion, she packed up the kids, her few belongings, her vibrator, hopped in the truck and drove to her mother’s house.

Lynn

Now she’s living her hotwife life separately as he whiles away the hours alone wanking to Lola.

Our second couple on the skids is Steven and Ellie.  They had only been a couple for a short while, but they quickly discovered each other’s kinks.  After many relationships for each of them, they finally found each other and it was hot and heavy from the start!  Steven was so thrilled with Ellie that he wanted to share her.  He reached out to Lola for advice and before long Steven and Ellie had created their own OnlyFans account with photos and video.  But this blissful beginning came to an all-too-abrupt end when, overcome by his admiration for Lo, Steven began chatting more in-depth with Lo late at night.

Ellie and Steven from their OF page

Ellie and Steven of Bray-Burn

  • Love the new photos of Ellie, said Lo. Is she as kinky as she looks?
  • What does kinky mean for you? asked Steve.
  • Well, more than straight vanilla.
  • She’s definitely more than that.
  • Oh yeah?  What does she do?
  • And?
  • She sucks my cock.
  • Does she do anal and then suck your cock?
  • Like A-to-M?
  • Exactly.
  • Well, then she’s not more than straight vanilla.
  • Do you do that?
  • That and a lot more.
  • Like what?
  • Whatever you want.
  • Would you. . . ?

You can probably guess where the chat went from there.  I can’t tell you all the dirty danger zones it traversed, but I can say that it concluded with him sending a couple of cumtributes to Lo.  Unfortunately, Ellie found them and the chat history in the morning.  She packed up and was out the door before Steven even woke up.

Crestfallen, Steve is alone again.

Super sexy photo of Ellie and Steven

Ellie takes a bow

Ellie takes a cock

Steven takes a tribute with Lo

Steven takes another tribute for Lo

Ellie soaking in the sun

Ellie getting off (to Lo?)

Ellie shows off

These are two stories of Lola longing gone awry.  But, it has recently come to our attention that if you want your very own Lola companion, you can use the miracle of modern computer science to create a Lola “Replika.”  Replika is a company that uses A.I. to create virtual companions, or, if the user prefers, “synthetic sexuals.”

This is not a paid promotion.  We do not get any advertising revenue from this article, nor have either of us used Replika.  But we would like to hear from you.  We imagine that with all the information about Lola Down on the internet, Replika could make a pretty decent (or indecent) replica of Lo and so, if any of you decide to partner up with your virtual Lola, please drop us a line to let us in on how your virtual reality relationship is going.

 

The Orgasm Heard ʼRound the World or Orgasmic Orchestral Accompaniment

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May is Masturbation Month, but Lo’s self-pleasure cums three hundred and sixty-five days a year.  It turns out that May is also Mental Health Awareness Month.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so.  A large part of mental health is sexual health, sexual pleasure, and sexual self-stimulation.  So, go for it.  Yes, you may!  Yes, you should!

In honor of this annual celebration of manual manipulation of the genital variety, I bought Lo two gifts: a Lovence Lush remote-controlled vibrator and concert tickets to see the philharmonic.

These were separate and distinct gifts, but leave it to Lo to combine the two.

She put on her sexy, contour-fitting blue dress with a little black jacket over it and her new toy securely and secretly inserted in her hideaway under it.

Lo, Dressed for Success

Off we went to hear some beautiful music.

On the ride there, Lo said to me, “I want to take this sexy little pink plaything for a test drive during the performance.”

“But Lo,” I tried to protest.

“But Lo nothing,” she said, shutting me down.  “The vibe is a gift and so are the tickets and I want to enjoy both simultaneously.”

She is a master debater and am no match for her oral skills.

We filed in and the show began with a contemporary violin concerto with which I was unfamiliar.  Lo had her right hand on my left knee and indicated that she was not impressed.  But then, without intermission, the main event of the evening began – Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony.

Lo indicated that now was the right time to test out her new gift.  I inconspicuously pulled out my phone and turned on the toy.  Throughout the first movement I gently and thoughtfully applied the vibrational intensity to the mellow and subdued melody of the orchestra.  But, as the piece transitioned to the second movement, increasing in passion and drama, I followed suit with the controller I had in my pocket.  I could feel Lo’s grip on my knee holding on for dear life and I saw her bite down hard on her lower lip.

Her legs pressed tightly together.  The she crossed her legs, one over the other, pressing her inner thighs against each other as she rocked back-and-forth a little.  She began to perspire just a bit on her brow.  And then, she let out a primal scream like I had never heard before that echoed and reverberated throughout the acoustically dynamic hall.

From my long experience with Lo, I knew that this meant she was also simultaneously squirting and that her Kegel strength was clenching on the small but powerful device.  I immediately shut off the remote and pretended to be looking forward as if nothing were happening, but as soon as she regained control of her vocal emanations, I could see, without drawing attention to it, the small puddle that had accumulated under her seat.

Thankfully, the band played on and eventually, people stopped staring at us.

It was impossible to get up and leave in the middle of the piece without further drawing the ire of the polite audience upon ourselves and, in the process, demonstrating Lo’s very wet bottom.  But as soon as the symphony was over, we made our way out of the concert hall as the audience around us was still applauding.  Lo held in her hand the little pink conductor whose baton had caused her crescendo.  She placed it in her clutch and we slipped into the night.

Little did we know that her vocal accompaniment to the concerto would be caught on tape and that her little performance would headline the evening.  Perhaps she has a future as an opera singer.

One thing is for sure, Lo’s lullaby proved that there is a permeable line between art and porn.

The End