It was Thursday. The Thursday before Super Bowl Sunday to be exact. It was just your average Thursday until, unable to shake a persistent cold, I went to the doctor. After a check-up, X-rays and bloodwork, I was diagnosed with pneumonia and ordered to get bedrest. Lo, of course, was as caring and fussing as the most attentive nurse and she took pity on my pain and suffering.
“Daddio?” she said Thursday night.
“What?” I replied in a raspy whisper.
“You know, it’s been so long since. . .”
“Lo, don’t tell me you want to fuck.”
“OK, I won’t tell you,” she said, reaching her hand to my groin, “but I’ll show you.”
She pulled out her double-ended dildo and, before she could go to town with it, I interrupted. “Lo, I just need to get some sleep. If you want to fuck your brains out with that thing, can you do it in the living room?”
“Daddio, it’s been days!”
“According to my calculations,” I replied, “I think it’s been since Tuesday.”
“Yes! You see – two days!”
“Living room.”
She moped away, dildo in hand, her intentions of seducing me shattered.
I didn’t hear much more from her that night because I quickly fell off to sleep, the Nyquil silencing any extraneous noise she may have made during her solo session.
The next day when she came home from work I was recuperating on the couch, watching mind-numbing TV. I turned to Lo and asked, “Why is everything on TV so stupid?”
“Because smart doesn’t sell,” she said without missing a beat.
“Where are you going?” I asked her as I saw her put down her work bag and pick up her clutch.
“Out,” she said simply. She pulled a piece of paper out of her clutch and looked it over.
“What is that?” I asked.
“It’s my ‘to do’ list.”
“Oh yeah? Whose names are on it?”
“Funny. Do you need anything?”
“Some more orange juice and throat lozenges.”
“What you need is sex,” she said, bending over to put on her pumps.
“I still have a 102 temperature.”
“I’m just saying, sex, it does a body good,” she smirked, looking at me upside-down between her legs.
“It sure does your body good, but mine is beyond repair.”
“Oh, Daddio,” she said as she blew an air-kiss my way, “I’ll get you your OJ and lozenges. Kiss kiss.”
Later, as I lay on the couch wallowing in my misery, Lola sent me a pic on my phone. It was of her topless in panties. “Like?” she asked in the text.
“Where are you and what are you doing?”
“Shopping. I thought you could use a little lingerie photo shoot.”
She was in the changing room of Victoria’s Secret or something, taking seflies for me. I can’t deny that, even in my state of dysphoria, I found her antics alluring.
I texted her which panties I liked. There were not many that I didn’t like.
“Maybe I can sell them on-line?” she texted back.
“People can buy them themselves from the store, you know.”
“I meant my used panties,” she responded.
“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. Yeah. Go for it.”
“I’m coming,” she texted.
“Lo, this is no time for you to be masturbating in public!”
“I mean, I’m coming home now.”
“Oh.” Phew.
Soon she was walking in the door and she asked me how I was feeling.
“The same. Still watching mind-numbing cable TV.” A cooking show was on instructing how to make a baked pastry filled with fruit.
“I love those,” said Lo, sitting next to me. “Do you?”
“I hate tarts. . . . Present company excluded, of course.”
“Mmmm, this is making me hungry,” said Lo. “Did you eat anything today?”
“Yes. I made myself lunch.”
“What did you have?”
“I had a grilled cheese and a chocolate milk.”
“You realize,” said Lo, “that that is the lunch of an average fifth-grader.”
“Are you implying that I’m average?”
“Ugh. Are you hungry?”
“No dear.”
“You should eat.”
“No thank you.”
Lola went into the kitchen and, before long I heard her cussing at something. I got up and saw her having a devil of a time trying to flip her omelet. “Stand back,” I said, “it needs a man’s touch.”
“Well, I know something does,” she said to me. After I flipped it she asked, “Do you want me to blow you?” and she dropped to her knees on the kitchen floor.
“No, I don’t want you to blow me. I’m sick.”
“And I’m horny. Each of us can cure the other,” she said looking up at me, fumbling in my pajama bottoms for my cock.
“Lola, your omelet is ready.”
She sat down and I served her. As she ate she asked me, “How do you reconcile my silly and sexy sides?”
Sitting across from her, nursing a drink of water, I said, “You’re a complete cable package with porno channels and Comedy Central.”
“I like that,” she said. “I can’t wait to show you my new panties.”
“You already did – virtually.”
When we went to bed, I was still feeling miserable. I rejected Lola once more and she made a little tent of the sheets and opened up her phone and went to town on herself to who-knows-what naughtiness of pornographic material. We had gone to bed early, around nine, and when I woke up around eleven, she was still at it. Ignoring her, I used the bathroom and returned. She didn’t even notice my brief absence, or at least she didn’t indicate any notice.
The next morning, Saturday, she sauntered naked into the living room where I was sitting, sipping my tea and honey. “Morning dear,” she said.
“Oh, what a long fucking night,” I responded, having slept very poorly.
“Back in the day we’d have a long night fucking,” she quipped, followed by, “Those days can happen again, Sugar.”
“Not today they won’t!” I insisted, exhausted by her libido without having enjoyed any of its fringe benefits in days.
“Awww,” she said, cuddling up to me, “still not feeling well?”
“A little better,” I said. “At least I’m hungry. That’s a good sign.”
“I’ll make you breakfast,” she offered enthusiastically. “How about pancakes?”
“OK.”
She went to the kitchen and I followed her when I could smell the delicious aroma.
“Uh oh,” she said.
“What?”
“Too high, too long.”
“What?”
“My pancake. The heat was on too high and I left it on too long. It burned.”
“Oh no it didn’t. That’s just how I like it!”
I ate and was feeling better. We needed to do food shopping and I offered to go with Lola to the store. She drove and when we got there, she said, “You stay here. I’ll go in.”
“No, I can go,” I protested.
“You rest. I’ll go in.”
“Why can’t we both go in?”
“I’ll give you three good reasons: I’ll make it quicker, cheaper, and easier. Now that I think about it – that’s exactly what people said about me in college.”
“You are incorrigible.”
When we got back home, having missed work on Friday, I tried to do a little work from home that afternoon since I was feeling slightly better (at least I had no fever). Lo came in the room, naked again but for her new thong, trying to seduce me. I tried telling her that I had a lot of work to do. “I’m really quite behind.”
As if on que, she bent over and showed me her ass, the thong hardly visible.
“That’s quite a behind too,” I said.
“And it’s all yours, Daddio.”
“Let’s not exaggerate. All?”
“Well, you can have it all right now, if you want. And then later someone else can have it all.”
“At least you’re more accurate now.”
“Well?”
“Not now darling.”
“Fine!” she said, pouting. “I’m going out tonight.”
“Fine.”
Later she appeared, all dolled up, wearing her favorite earrings designed like little anchors and a sweater with a nautical theme designed into it.
“Well, don’t you look cute,” I said, trying to be nice.
“I look like a little sailor!”
“Trying to find semen.”
She threw a pillow at me. “You’re crude and rude!”
“It’s true.”
“Even if it is true, you have a vulgar mouth.”
“As Jesus said, it’s not what comes out of the mouth that makes it vulgar, it’s what you put in.”
“Well, darling, when I come back home tonight and tell you what I’ve put in it, I guarantee that Jesus never imagined such a string of words coming out of anyone’s mouth, especially not from such a little angelic beauty as I.”
“I can’t wait. Pack your condoms! A sailor doesn’t want to get caught without a rain jacket!”
“Don’t you worry,” she said as she kissed me goodbye.
I heard nothing from her the rest of the night.
When she got home, long after I had turned in for some much needed sleep, I heard her undress and slither under the sheets, pressing her chilly skin up against my nice, warm, almost feverish body.
“Did you have a good time, darling?”
“Frustrating,” she whispered.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“We went to a gay bar.”
“Where’d you go and who’d you go with?”
She gave me the details and then told me that they went to see a burlesque show. It got her all riled up without any release.
“And, let me guess – now you are crawling back from your fishing expedition looking for my rod.”
“Let me have it.”
“No,” I said.
“Let me suck it.”
“No.”
“Please. Let me just hold it.”
“Lo, I’m still sick.”
“Me too. I want you to catch what I have.”
“Lo.”
She knew I wasn’t joking around. For a third night in a row she was reduced to playing with her toys rather than me (or someone else).
The next day was Super Bowl Sunday and we had been invited over to Mark and Stephanie’s for the game. I still wasn’t sure if I was up for it. I was feeling light-headed and dizzy, occasionally perspiring and having the chills. I didn’t think it was a good idea. Lo pleaded with me, however. She did her level best to nurse me all morning and afternoon, and when 4:00 came around and a game-time decision had to be made, I conceded and said I’d go.
It was a big crowd and Mark and Stephanie had gone all out to make it a super Super Bowl party. There were dips and sandwiches, a fully stocked bar and coolers of beer, and Mark was even manning the grill outside on the deck next to the Jacuzzi. And apparently it was a no-kids party, since I saw neither hide nor hair of the little rug-rats.
We got there and Lo took as little interest in the game as I did in the food. Unfortunately, due to my infirmity, I had no appetite. Lo, got me comfortably seated close to the TV and then she flitted around in her short skirt and sexy blouse. She looked good and I enjoyed watching her go from circle to circle smiling and seducing with her charms. At one point she came over to check on me and she grabbed my bicep and said, “Mmmm, I want you.”
“You don’t fool me, Lo,” I responded back.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I know perfectly well what it is you want.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You want Mark’s meat – and I don’t mean all the burgers and sausages he’s cooking on the grill.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Her apology was an admission of guilt. “But he’s wearing that short sleeve shirt and, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,” her tongue made a purring sound, “he’s so hot. But I really do want you.”
“You want to hop on my cock and use me while you think about him.”
“Just the same, I still want you.”
“I’m flattered,” I said flatly.
“Come on, I’ve been denied for almost a week now!”
Cock substitutes are no substitute for cock according to Lo.
The party and the game went on close to midnight and when it was over someone – the safe money is on Lo – suggested getting into the hot tub.
By this time, I was long ready to go, but I stuck it out on Lo’s account. She, of course, had no bathing suit, but that wasn’t going to stop her. Mark descended the staircase in his Speedo and carrying a few robes and towels for people. There was room for six or eight in the tub, but I abstained, not wishing to catch double pneumonia. Mark, a couple of other neighbors, and Lo all were game, however. The neighbors and Lo took turns getting out of their clothes and into their birthday suits under their robes in the downstairs bathroom. Then it was out into the cold dark night, on the deck, beer and wine in hand, and, down fell the robes, in went the naked bodies to the tub. I could see the crew from the kitchen window where I stood, next to Stephanie who also chose to forego the midnight hot tub excursion. Whether it was due to disgust at Mark’s behavior, jealousy of Lola, compassion (or some other feeling) for me, or her stated reason, “to clean up,” I don’t know. All I know is that as she collected and cleared off the dirty dishes, I helped by arranging them in the dishwasher.
Occasionally, I peeked out the window that looked out from the kitchen over the deck, but, not intending to gawk, I made conversation with Stephanie, who, I spied, also was monitoring the situation in the tub from her perch behind the kitchen sink.
“It was so nice of you and Mark to have us all over for the game. You two throw a great party.”
“Oh, we’re just so glad you could make it. I was really worried when I heard about your pneumonia.”
“I’ve been taking my antibiotics and I’m no longer contagious, I promise. I’ve been taking my antibiotics for four days now. I’m just feeling lousy at this point.”
“Well, you really rallied for tonight.”
“It’s always nice to see you. . . and Mark and it was sweet of you to invite us.”
“To be honest, we think you two are a great couple!”
“Thanks. I wish I could live up to my part of the bargain tonight.”
“You are. See, we’re getting to talk now.”
The truth was, I was feeling weak-kneed, but was rallying for both Stephanie’s sake and to keep a close eye on Lo.
“I wish I could be more fun. It looks like they’re having a good time out there in the hot tub surrounded by the snow.” I gestured out the window in an attempt to get a sense of Stephanie’s thoughts on it.
“I’m sure Mark is having the time of his life,” Stephanie said, almost to herself.
“What? What’s that?” I asked as she passed me a plate.
“Oh, nothing.” She dismissed her comment.
“I hope that Lo isn’t making. . .” I didn’t know what to say, but luckily Stephanie rescued my faltering ellipses.
“Me jealous? That’s not it. Can I be honest with you?”
“Yes, please do,” I said.
“After our second kid, I just lost all of my sex-drive. I feel terribly guilty about it. I love Mark. I love him so much and I know he loves me.” She grabbed a paper towel to wipe her eyes that were watering up. “But, I just don’t feel it anymore. I don’t know what happened. I want him to be happy and I know that he. . . never mind.”
“He what?” I was desperate for her to continue. “You can tell me. It’s ok.”
“I know he finds Lola attractive. Who wouldn’t? So, let him have his fun. But I shouldn’t say that. Doesn’t it bother you to hear me say that?”
I took ahold of Stephanie’s elbow and I said to her very quietly, “You both deserve to be happy.” I had no idea what I meant by that and I think that Stephanie didn’t know what to make of it either. Those were just the words that came out of my mouth in a moment of connection and compassion.
I was keen on giving her a hug, but the truth was, I wasn’t sure exactly how non-contagious I was and I didn’t know if it would be welcomed at that moment. As I held Stephanie’s arm, she and I both gazed out the window and we saw Lo emerge, naked as Venus from the churning sea, grab towel, wrap it around herself and then she popped into the kitchen.
“I’ll just be a minute,” Lo said.
“Are you ready, so soon?” I asked, half mocking.
“Thanks for being a dear. Yes. I’ll just get dressed and. . .” She closed the bathroom door and a moment later she popped out. We waved a friendly good-bye and thank you to our hosts and their guests, still outside, and then Lo drove home.
“How was the hot tub, darling?” I asked.
“It was good,” she said. She was speeding.
“Take it easy, the cops are just looking for a reason to pull anyone over tonight.”
“I want to get home and do you!”
“What happened out there?”
“Nothing. I just want you. It’s been a long time.”
“Nothing? Really? Now why don’t I believe that?”
“OK, ok. Fine,” she said, reaching over to grab my crotch.
“You’re driving, you know. And this ain’t a stick-shift.”
“I was sitting across from Mark, naked, looking at his big broad shoulders.”
“Dreamy,” I said sarcastically.
“Dreamy,” she repeated, “especially as the steam wafted off the surface of the water. I would keep on ‘accidentally’ popping my nipples just above the water line so he could see.”
“And everyone else.”
“And everyone else,” she repeated, again groping at my crotch. “Are you getting hard?”
“Never you mind and continue with your story.”
“Well, I had one hand down between my legs.”
“You’re bad.”
“I couldn’t help it, Daddy.”
“Did anyone notice?”
“I don’t think so. But, as I stroked it, I kept playing footsie with Mark. He didn’t say anything, but I know he liked it. At one point, he got up out of the tub to grab another beer and. . .” She pulled her hand from my crotch and placed it in hers.
“And what?”
“And he was so hard, he was practically exploding out of that tiny bathing suit he wore!” Her hand was up her short dress.
“You came.”
“I’m cumming.”
“I mean then.”
“Yes. And now.”
“That’s why you wanted to go. You couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Right.”
“I can’t take you anywhere.”
“You’re going to take me to bed and fuck me senseless!”
That was the last thing I remember of the ride home. I suppose I passed out from exhaustion. The next thing I felt was Lo trying to wake me gently from the driver’s seat as we sat in the garage at home. Like a somnambulist, I found my way to bed. I was the one senseless, not Lo.
The next day, Monday, was a blizzard. Both Lo and I could have slept in. But I had missed work since Thursday of the previous week. I had to go in, at least for a little while. So, early in the morning, before the flakes had fully accumulated, I snuck out while Lo was still soundly asleep, naked in the warm bed. I got to work, feeling much improved, took care of some urgent matters, and then drove home carefully through the poorly plowed streets.
When I got back, I found Lo still in bed. I took one look at her and said, “You masturbated, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t mean to. It was an accident.”
“Well, I’m going to shovel.”
“What should I do?”
“You could help me shovel, if you’re not too wet.”
“I don’t want to catch a cold.”
“Alright. See you later,” I said, and, bundling up I went outside to clear the driveway.
I wasn’t upset. I wasn’t mad. I was actually glad. Yes, I was still recovering from pneumonia. Yes, I had gone into work on a horrible winter’s day when most of the city stayed home. Yes, Lo had been inside all morning, sleeping late, sexing herself up, and probably jillin’ it once more even as I shoveled away. But the thought of her, nestled up under the covers pleasuring herself filled me with joy. I’m a lucky guy. I can lose sight of that sometimes. Not this time. I shoveled with a smile on my face. When I was done, to my surprise and delight, Lo was not in bed, fucking herself silly to her favorite Tumblr pages. She was in a silky black negligee, helping me out of my bundled jackets and scarves, and then bringing me a hot cocoa as she tucked me under a throw on the couch.
“What’s all this for?” I asked.
“I just love you and I want you to know that I’m the luckiest gal in the world to have you, Daddio.”
“What do you want, Lo?” I asked in my Ricky Ricardo tone.
“Nothing, Daddio. Honest. I just was lying in bed and I realized all you do for me. I just wanted to do something nice in return.”
I sipped my hot cocoa and read a little of the Sunday paper that was still lying out on the coffee table from yesterday.
Lola sat on the couch next to me, her left hand slowly made its way under my covers to my crotch. She grabbed my cock and then began pumping it as I read.
“Lo?”
“Yes, Daddio?”
“What are you doing?”
“Do you like?”
“What are you doing?”
“Giving you a hand-job.”
She continued for a little while. Then she pulled her hand away and, like a groundhog or ferret, she nosed her way under the blankets, getting her face buried between my legs and went to work on me with her mouth. At a certain point, I put down the paper and began guiding her head gently up and down.
She abruptly stopped before I was ready to spout. “Let’s go to the bedroom, Daddio. I want to tell you something special.”
She led me down the hall, hopped on the edge of the bed in her little black nighty, revealing her naked ass and puss to me. “Mount me,” she commanded. I did as she said.
“What did you want to tell me?”
When she had caught her breath, she whispered over her shoulder, “I was so bad last night.”
“Yes, Lo, you were. That’s what you wanted to tell me?”
“No, there’s more but. . .” She was enjoying herself at this point, too much to talk. She came in about fifteen seconds. As she came she was yelling, “I love your cock! I love your cock!” When she was done she said, “Flip me over and fuck me.”
I did as she asked. I put her on her back on the side of the bed, held her heels up by my shoulders, and went at her.
“Do you think he liked seeing my pussy, Daddy?” she asked.
“Yes, Lo. Who wouldn’t?”
“I had got it all smooth for him.”
“So, you had that all planned out?”
“No. But a woman should be prepared for the unexpected display of her pussy at all times.”
“A woman, or a slut like you?”
“That’s right, Daddy. Tell me what I am.”
“A slut. A trollop. A dirty, cheap, exhibitionist.” I went on and she came to the cadence of my nasty names. She came so hard she sqeezed me right out and squirted on the floor. I grabbed my throbbing rod and watched.
“Can you hold it in for just one more?” she asked. “I’ve got one more BIG orgasm to go. Pleeeease, Daddio. I know you haven’t cum in a long time. Just hold it in a little longer and then you can cum all over my face. Promise.”
“How do you want it?”
“Here,” she said, positioning me on the bed. “Lie back. I want to taste myself on you.” She lay me down on the bed and got on her knees and went to town between my legs. If she wanted me to withhold my orgasm until she had one more, this was not the way to do it. I felt like her face was in imminent danger of being in the direct line of my fire.
She stopped just in time. She knows me (or cock) well. She went to climb up on top of me, straddling my body with her legs, her knees on the bed. Before she lowered herself down on my very stiff and erect phallus, I said, “No. Wait a minute.” I closed my eyes. Just looking at her may have put me over the edge. I took deep breaths, but all I could think about was seeing her getting in and out of the hot tub the previous night. Just the thought was enough to coax a slow orgasm out of me. I tried to change the channel of my imaginings, but it was as if that special was playing on every station!
“Put a condom on me,” I said.
“What?” she asked in disbelief. We never use condoms. We only keep them around for her special guests.
“Put a condom on me. It’s the only way.”
She hopped off, rummaged through the nightstand drawer, pulled out a string of condoms and hastily slid it over my ramrod. The interval was a good distraction for me. When she was done, she resumed her position and began bouncing up and down, pulling her tits. The barrier between her dripping pussy and my hard, throbbing cock was just enough to keep me going without my going too far.
I reached up to her breasts. “Pull and twist,” she said. “Harder.” I was stretching out her nipples by about an inch and then turning them clockwise a full 180 degrees. She wanted more. I pulled further, twisted further. She was moaning and bouncing and dripping – I could feel it on my lap.
“When you cum, call his name,” I said. I wasn’t sure if she heard me. She was in a frenzy with her eyes closed tight, biting her lip, bouncing her tits up and down. “Call out Mark’s name when you cum.”
No sooner had I repeated the instruction than she started yelling, “Oh FUCK! Mark! Fuck! I fucking love your cock! Mark! Mark! Mark Mark Mark Mark Mark Mark Mark Mark!” She was saying his name every time her hips descended down to bounce off of mine. She was riding fast, at a gallop until she stopped, frozen, held it, and gushed a waterfall downward. At that, I finally gave myself permission to cum and I did, filling the condom with all the pent-up desire that I had unspent over the past week. It was amazing.
When we were done, after catching our breath like runners at the end of a marathon, we lay looking at each other. “He really riles you up, doesn’t he?”
“Not like you, Daddio.”
“Lo, after all of that, don’t you think you can tell me the truth?”
“It’s true. You’re the one for me.”
“But he turns you on.”
“A lot of things turn me on. Does that make you jealous?”
“It would, except you’re right. A lot of things do turn you on and if you weren’t turned on by Mel Brooks, Abbi Jacobson, and certain specimens of other species I actually might be jealous. But due to your pansexual nature, I try to take it all in stride.”
“That’s why I love you, Daddo. You really get me.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you rile him up as well.”
“Really?! She said, her eyes lighting up, her body jumping to all fours like a puppy ready to play fetch.
“Yes. Stephanie told me as much last night.”
“What?! Tell me. Tell me.” Her imaginary tail was wagging with anticipation.
“When you were in the hot tub, playing footsie and showing off your tits. . .”
She interrupted with a long moan of pleasure at the memory.
“Stephanie and I were talking in the kitchen and she told me that she and Mark haven’t had sex since there second kid was born.”
“I knew that already.”
“And she went on to say that she thinks we’re a great couple and that Mark deserves to get his rocks off to the likes of you.”
“She said that?!”
“Well, not in so many words, but the message came through.”
Lola was running her tongue over her teeth in excitement now.
“Maybe you should clue him into the blog?”
I saw her wheels turning and the exciting prospect of having Mark getting to see Lola up close in all those sexy pics of her and hearing all about her nymphomaniacal exploits, jackin’ it to her every untoward adventure. But then she said, “No. Impossible. We can’t reveal our secret selves to anyone we know. It’s too incriminating! You didn’t tell Stephanie, did you?”
“Of course not, dear. That’s your story to tell.”
“Well, I did leave a calling card of sorts.”
“You left one of your Lola Down cards there?! But you just said. . .”
“No no no. I may have, accidentally, totally not on purpose left my panties at their house.”
“You what?!”
“I’m sorry, Daddy. It was an accident. I think they must have fell when I was picking up my clothes.”
“I’ve heard of Freudian slips before, but this takes the cake! How could you not know you didn’t have your panties on?!”
“I knew I didn’t have them, I just couldn’t find them. They must have fallen out somewhere when I bunched up my clothes after getting into the robe. I don’t know. Should I text Mark to look for them?”
“No! Of course not.”
She gave me a quizzical look.
“Oh no, Lo. Don’t tell me you already did.”
“I just didn’t want Stephanie to find them.”
“And what did he say?”
“He said he found them and could return them to me.”
“And what did you say?”
“I said, ‘That’s OK. You can throw them out. . .or do whatever with them.”
“Lola!” Now it was really Ricky and Lucy.
“Why?”