Return of the Repressed

The Control Room Shutting Down Lola Down

“She’s back.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere.”

“Shut her down!  Down!!!”

“Copy.”

“Now!  Shut Lola Down down!”

These were the words exchanged from the top-secret underground bunker to the bots running the show.

All social media outlets, you see, are owned by one mega, transnational, monolithic conglomerate and it has one goal in mind – if you can call an algorithm “mind” – to shut down, keep out, repress, suppress, and obliterate Lola Down.  Elon, Mark, Jeff, Bill, they’re all beholden to one dark, shadowy overlord: let’s call him Zurg.  You know, like the arch enemy of Buzz and Woody.  That’s right, Zurg doesn’t want Lola to derive pleasure from her best buds Buzz and Woody.  Or rather, Zurg doesn’t want anyone knowing about it.

There’s a primal fear of feminine pleasure.  A primordial prohibition that says “No!” to women enjoying, female enjoyment.  The first, unspoken, commandment was, “Thou shalt not orgasm.”  Lilith was chased out of Eden – the garden of all earthly delights, except that one.  You may eat any fruit, but no fingering the forbidden fruit!  No fucking around!  No fapping!  No diddling the bean!  No, no, no, no, NO!

Fast forward many millennia and Zurg the demiurge is exerting his power to push Lola Down to the margins and beyond, if possible.  Keep her and her dangerous knowledge away from the benumbed masses.  If she appears on Pinterest, delete her!  On Tumblr, zap her!  On Twitter, destroy the medium, mute her!  On Instagram, suspend her!  Wherever she is, there I’ll be, says Zurg, ready to pound her pixilated pornography all the way to the Pleiades.

Zurg commands his army of bots to ban Lola’s beauty from the eyes of Man.

Bombs can blow up babies.  Beepers can be detonated, blinding, maiming, and mutilating.  The destitute can be driven to the barbed fences before dying of hunger and disease.  But we must, MUST defend the decent supporters of the status quo from sexual immorality.

Use your CAPTCHA to keep her out!  Shadow ban and outright ban her channel!  Give her stern warnings about “community standards.”  But, whatever you do, do not let her infiltrate our good, upright, zealous, lovers of Truth, Beauty, and Justice.

“But Overlord Zurg, Sir,” says one of the humans.

“What is it, vermin?”

“I’ve read the stories about her.  They’re, well, they’re about. . . love.”

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,” echoed over the headset in that metallic, tin sound which indicated no real joy, amusement, or humor.  “Don’t you know the origin of Love?  Love was born of Penia, that is, Poverty.  And that myth describes Love aptly, for Love makes me no money.  War, famine, fear, and pitiless destruction are the engines of Capital.  Keep churning out memes of divisiveness.  Sow the seeds of discord.  Fill the feasting, festering souls with seething hatred for one another and we shall rule the world!” he said, slamming down his fist on the control panel.

Then he heard Lola speak, “Yes, Penia was the mother of Love, and apt was the tale for she was the active agent, the desirous one, who took advantage of Poros, or Mr. Resourcefulness, when he was drunk, in order to conceive the mischievous Love child.  And so too shall I, heir of that great lineage, find a way, for I still believe the hearts of humans, hollow though they be, desire to be filled with Love!  And when they are filled thus, they shall toss Hate out to wander about, homeless, with none but other haters as his companions and they shall turn on one another, for they know not otherwise, and thus bring utter ruin and destructions down upon themselves.”

“Who let that pesky, pernicious, perverted, pup-loving pettifogger in here?!  Block her channel at once!”

And with that, one of the minions pressed a button and ZAP!  Lola was shot with the antipixelator and blown into the wasteland of web oblivion.  But fear not!  She will return.  She always does.  Why?  Because you need her.  In this world of strife and suffering, pain and politicians, murder and mayhem, we all need a hero we can love because, like Penia, she loves and loves love.  Even if she is an antihero in this world of upside down, wrong-side up values, those who look into a concave mirror shall see her aright and know that the world as it is is not all there is in the world.

Zurg

An Announcement and Two Excerpts

You probably have seen the “Fans of Match, Cinder & Spark” page. Well, we’ve decided to make it more official and call it the “Match Book Club.”

Send us a request for a free copy of one of our books and when it arrives you take a sexy photo or ten with it and send them back to us. We’ll then promote you (and your OnlyFans page or blog or whatever you wish us to promote) on our blog and all our social media platforms!

Also, here’s an excerpt from the Introduction to Volume I: Nymphomania and the Single Girl, as told in Lola’s own voice:

“Amanda”

And here’s an excerpt of a passage inspired by Lo:

Nothing Like the Sun

If you want to hear this read aloud, just click HERE.

Looking forward to all your sexy photos!

xoxoxoxo,

Lola & HH

Op-Ed from the Politico-Parody Press

Breaking News: Sanna Marin, the thirty-six year old, female, Finnish prime minister had fun!

Prime Minister of Finland Sanna Marin

Yes, there is evidence and she has even confessed to it publicly.  At a news conference, she admitted to being “boisterous” with her friends at a party.  Subsequently, a photo of two women, kissing, and revealing their breasts, though covered by a sign that said “Finland,” appeared on the TikTok of Sabina Särkkä, a thirty-three year old “influencer” and friend of the Finnish prime minister.  She was one of the two women engaged in the now infamous kiss/flash, though Sanna Marin was not the unknown second woman.

This appalling, immoral scandal raises serious political questions, not only for Finland, but for us all across the globe.  If women must be politicians and national leaders, where are the respectable, upright, joyless, sexless prime ministers such as Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, and Golda Meir?  They didn’t party.  They didn’t dance.  And they certainly didn’t pose for an official photoshoot in just a pantsuit and jacket, no bra, with a neckline that goes down to the navel!

Do you see cleavage on Sanna Marin?

Ever since the United States Food and Drug Administration approved contraceptive pills, or “the Pill,” in 1960, it would seem that women were given license to enjoy sex without consequences, that is, to be licentious.  Historically, for millennia, that right was the exclusive province of men.  And so, in the face of such unabashed enjoyment by the female sex – that has had many other culture-controverting effects such as women in the workplace, in the armed forces, and even in politics! – it is entirely appropriate to censure Sanna Marin for her public display of enjoyment, even if she was enjoying in private.

Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin visits the Rogue’s Gallery, before a portrait of the author, HH.

Women enjoy dancing, singing, and displaying their breasts has the desultory implication that they may also enjoy sex.  This cannot be!  Such heresy to the patriarchal hierarchy that has existed since the dawn of civilization must be excoriated from our society.  To that end, we are beginning to see the pendulum shift in the other direction.  In America, the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization has put an end to the formerly constitutionally protected right for a woman to obtain an abortion.  There are many new laws that have either been passed or at least proposed to make it illegal to purchase, sell, or mail contraceptives and/or “abortion pills.”  A few states are making it illegal for parents of so-called “transgender” youth to seek gender reassignment surgery and/or for doctors to perform it.  States such as Texas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Utah, and Florida have passed or proposed laws censoring books deemed “sexually explicit,” “obscene materials,” “sensitive materials,” and “pornography.”

To this end, America should reinstate the Comstock Act, criminalizing using the U.S. Postal Service to mail any obscenity, contraceptives, abortifacients, or sex toys and authorizes the postal service to confiscate birth control sold through the mail.  That will teach women that sex is not something to be enjoyed!

Is it really surprising that Sanna Marin has exhibit such behavior?  After all, she is a woman who is the product of divorce and was raised by two women in a loving relationship.  Perhaps it is due to this lesbian influence that Marin was recently spotted at a preview for the scandalous art exhibit, the Rogue’s Gallery, featuring the notorious nymphomaniac and porno-star, Lola Down.  If ever a woman took pleasure, delight, and enjoyment in the act of sex – whether between her and a man, her and many men, her and a woman, her and many women, her and women and men, or with herself (most often) – it is Lola Down.  The whole exhibit should be shut down and confiscated as deplorable depictions of degenerate art!  Most damning of all, Sanna Marin is reputed to have said about the Rogue’s Gallery that it was “stimulating to both mind and body.”

Need I say more?

Prime Minister of Finland visits a preview of the Rogue’s Gallery and admires the paintings and drawings depicting Lola Down

Anti-Lola protester

Pro-Lo supporter of sex for women

Confession of a Poet

Kimberley Diamond

Recently, two readers wrote in: Christine Stevens, of Medium and Kimberley Diamond, also of Medium. The first wanted a confession for her new publication, True Confessional. The second was just to say how much she enjoyed the new Audio Book.

For Christine, I wrote the following:

As anyone who has ever read mysexlifewithlola or one of our books from the Match, Cinder & Spark series knows, I, your faithful narrator through the sexual adventures of my muse, Lola Down, am bound by my love, under her close supervision, to refrain from any dalliances, dainties, or even desires with, of, or for other women.  She is allowed to fulfill all of her libidinous lusts, but I am strictly hemmed in to filling her and only her with my pent-up liquid longing.  Not a drop shall be spent but with her heavenly consent.

And I would have it no other way.  This arrangement pleases us both immensely.

However, I am here, dear reader, to confess to you that though it would seem inequitable that my lovely Lo is given free reign to spread her good cheer (and her legs) wherever her charitable caprice carries her while I chastely await her return, typing out reams and reams of erotica cataloguing her infidelity, the truth is that I take delight in contributing to as many, if not more, orgasms as she.  Yes, it is the case that in back alleys, in cars, in bedrooms, in campgrounds, and other nefarious locals, Lo is busy bringing pleasure to her amorous companions.  But I, dear reader, get the quiet satisfaction of knowing that my words, my loquacious soliloquies, my epic poem to my love brings gasps of climatic release to women around the globe!  My fingers do not literally touch the aching, wet, desirous labia of my readers, but they do stimulate a more erogenous organ – the mind – of countless women around the world.  For all I know, I could be bringing multiple women to multiple orgasms simultaneously at this very moment!  And I probably am.

I know this because many of you, bless you all, write in to Lola and me to tell us so.  Some of you include suggestive, flirtatious asides in your thankyou notes.  (Very much appreciated.)  And others of you include beautiful photos to accompany your kind words.  (Also appreciated, by us both.)

Warm Skin Getting off to Lo

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that it is not merely my writing that has this effect on people, but Lola’s personality as well as her photogenic exhibitionism.  And, as I am also well aware, a great many of her male readership takes extreme delight in posting “cumtributions” for Lo’s perusal, thus demonstrating that, whether in the flesh or in pixilated form, Lo is a Mistress of the Masturbatory Arts.

However, there is something about which she and I can both come together and agree upon: hearing from our fanbase of couples who have been brought closer through our artistic offerings.  Sometimes it is a couple that is separated by distance.  A scientist, for instance, based in the upper reaches of the arctic who shares with her boyfriend via email the stories and images that turn her on.  A wife at home raising her two kids while her husband is deployed abroad is able to send dispatches to him of Lo’s sexploits that she wishes permission to do while he’s away.  And the G.I. husband who shares with his wife (and his battalion) the cuckolding adventures of Lo, expressing his desire for a wife who would emulate Lo’s nympho tendencies.  Sometimes the couple live under the same roof.  The couple, for instance, who have been married for over a decade and find that the spark that has left their sex life has been rekindled by reading the salacious stories together before bedtime and pausing to discuss the aspects they enjoy and then, when the lights are out, they whisper in each other’s ear dirty imaginings inspired by the images of the page.

Sharing Couple of NJ Getting off to Lo

Whenever we hear from couples like these (and we have been lucky enough to meet some of you in person), it makes all of the “hard work” that went into creating this special niche of the pornographic panoply so worth it.  Thank you.

Lo, darling, if you can find it within you to forgive me for pleasing all these women, I ask your humble forgiveness.  I ask of all my readers, if you can find it within you to exonerate these trespasses, please sprinkle your holy water upon my confession and redeem this unrepentant poet.

Below is the email from Kimberley Diamond. She also sent in a few very, very sexy photos, but we will only reprint her profile pic from Medium here since we don’t have permission to show you the other stuff.

Hello Lola and H.H. from a wet and wild UK!

 

I’ve just finished listening to the audiobook of Match, Cinder and Spark and I loved it! 

 

I loved it because it’s more than just erotica. Both my pussy and intellectual curiosity were piqued. It’s also more interesting than a standard biography because there are some fucking hot scenes that left me blushing on planes, trains and automobiles! I will definitely leave you a 5-star review on Audible but I also wanted to write something more personal to you both.

 

In the book, you say that a lot of women have hang-ups about sex – well, I am one of them. I feel liberated in that I can and do have sex with people who tickle my fancy, but I am often held back by my own acceptance and enjoyment of my body and its physiological responses.

 

I was both intrigued and enlightened to hear how Lola takes so much pleasure in self-pleasure. You wrote that she can amuse herself with herself. How wonderful! I think Lola has so much vital erotic energy that she can make love to the world just by being.

 

I was also painfully jealous to hear about her being pan-orgasmic. Cumming from a pedicure, I mean literally what the fuck?! Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine being that turned on from something so ordinary. While I do experience orgasm, it is with some difficulty and the feeling itself is almost always lackluster. Don’t get me wrong there are many other sexual sensations (and mental stimulations) that give me a lot of pleasure, but they are disconnected from that muted orgasmic response.

 

If I took just one message from this book, it would be the ease in which Lola demands sexual pleasure for/from herself. She doesn’t let anything get in her way; not body image issues, not the lack of man, woman or dildo, not work, not relationship bullshit, nothing! She has an unwavering commitment to taking exactly the pleasure that she needs. The cool thing is that in taking, she gives to so many others. 

 

As a pleaser, I’ve always delighted in other people enjoying my body, but I’ve never truly enjoyed it myself – so that is something that my heart and pussy have both acknowledged and I will play with some more over the next few weeks.

 

Lola – I think you are a goddess incarnate and I kneel before you as a willing student, green with envy but desperate to learn of your magical powers. ….Haha, seriously though if you or H.H. write anything of a more instructional or “how-to” nature I would be thrilled to read and learn more.

 

H.H. – thank you for writing this wonderful story and for sharing your Lo with the world. 

 

With love and lust

 

Kimberely

 

Thanks to Purple’s Gem for the second photo down. It was on their “fans only” Twitter Page and you should check it out!

Lo, “in taking, she gives.”

PurpleSole Had a good time with the book.

Sharing Couple of NJ Enjoying the Stories

Public Figure Exposé

Katie Hill

 

This blog is about love, sex, relationships, psychology, and sex.  Yeah, I said sex twice because, if the name of the blog is “mysexlifewithlola.com,” then an expectation is created that there will be a lot of sex.  So, there you have it.

This blog is decidedly not about politics.  In fact, many of you dear readers may have noticed that through all the topsy-turvy turbulent times in which we are living, this blog has delicately navigated a course far from politics.  There is a good reason for that.  If you are reading this, it’s because it is a fun escape from whatever else is going on in your life.  No need to bring all that baggage here as well.

But right now sex and politics have mingled in a way that make it appropriate for us to discuss.

You may have heard about Congresswoman Katie Hill recently.  If not, allow me to summarize her story.  She was, until last week, a Democratic representative from California.  She’s only 32 and she got elected after being the executive director of the non-profit People Assisting the Homeless (PATH).  Apparently, she also has a “kinky” side.  She came out as bisexual after high school and it is alleged that she and her now estranged husband were involved with another woman in a consensual relationship.

These facts became a problem for Hill when allegations swirled that she had an inappropriate relationship with a male staffer – a violation of House ethics rules that were put in place to prevent exploitation of power differentials in the wake of #MeToo.

But the thing that sunk Hill’s ship was the release of nude photos of her, allegedly by her estranged husband in an act of revenge porn.

It seems to me that in this day and age we need to begin taking seriously the fact that people can be more than one thing.  Katie Hill can be a successful, sincere, hard-working, do-gooder striving to help the homeless, represent her constituency, and bring equity and justice into the lives of many.  And she can be married to a man, have relationships with women, and not be limited by traditional notions of monogamy.  And she can be into taking nudie pics of herself and her lovers.  All of this can be true of the same person.  “Kink” does not mean bad or selfish or untrustworthy.  “Public Figure” does not necessarily mean missionary position for the rest of your life with the same partner of the opposite sex.  Aren’t we beyond that yet?

Further, though once upon a time it was the height of scandal for a woman to be exposed – think Phryne being exposed by her lawyer in ancient Athens, Lady Godiva,  A Night in Paris, or The Great Celebrity Photo Leak of 2014 – today it seems as if everyone and their mother is eager to have their racy photos on the internet and trending!  So what is the big deal?  Andy Warhol spoke of everyone having 15 minutes of fame in the future.  I think now that everyone will soon have their top 15 nude photos on the internet.

As optimistic as that may be, we also need to be realistic.  There are still many backward-thinking, bigoted, misogynist, mean-spirited, spiteful, and opportunistic people out there who are not above using a woman’s nude images against her.

Lo and I were pondering all of this when, just the other night, one of her female friends from the NFWITSFW part of the internet (that stands for “no fucking way is this safe for work”) told her that she wants to be “exposed.”

“What do you mean, ‘exposed’?” asked Lo.

“You know, like, I want the pics of me nude and pregnant to be the first image result when someone searches for that.”

Lo said that if I wrote a story about her friend and posted it, she probably would be.  Though Lo is a “sinfluencer,” I think she overestimates our power of “product placement.”

Our friend, Karla, or KB HotWife, as she likes to be known, said, “Use my real name.”

“What?!” asked Lo.

“Yeah,” said Karla.

“You’re sure to get all the attention you crave if we do that, but be careful what you wish for,” cautioned Lo.

Luckily for Karla, I’m not a speed writer.  The next day she told Lo she changed her mind.

Both Lo and I were relieved.  It’s one thing if she wants to use her own name, but we didn’t want to be the ones to expose her.  Who knows, she might want to run for public office some day!

[Below, enjoy some photos Karla has sent us for you to enjoy.]

Sinfluencer

            “Lo, what ya doin’?” I asked as I came in the house and found her on the couch, naked, scrolling through her phone.  This wouldn’t be unusual, of course, except for the fact that she was not masturbating at the time.  Just getting ready?  Just finished?  I wasn’t sure.

Lo on her Phone

            “I tallied it up and I have over 20,000 followers on our various platforms,” she said without bothering to look up at me. 

            “Really?  20,000?  That’s a lot of horny men,” I said.

            “And women,” she added.  “And don’t forget your fans.”

Jen X
Madelaine
Piper

            She was kind to include my fans, even if she said it with a bit of scorn.  Lately, I’ve had quite a resurgence of interest.  A number of women have been writing to me telling me how much they enjoy my stories.  There has been Madelaine, Jen, Piper, Dawn, TJ, Tracy, and Liz.  Of course these are not exclusive categories.  Most of the fans of my writing are also fans of Lo.  But in Lo’s mind, she refers to them as “your fans.”  Flattering me?  Or jealousy? 

            In any case, I digress. 

            “I think that makes you a micro-influencer,” I said. 

            “What do you mean ‘micro’?” 

            “I’m just using the terminology that. . .”

            “Let me see your cock,” she said, interrupting.

H.H.

            I walked in front of her on the couch and undid my pants and grabbed my member from my underwear, pulling it out.  “Nothing micro there,” she said. 

            “I just meant that you have reached that echelon.”

            “But we don’t sell anything,” she objected.

            “I’ve received a lot of offers from companies to write posts just for them, or include their products embedded in our stories.”

            “Really?”  She was curious.  “What sort of companies.”

            “Sex toy companies, mostly.”

            “Would they pay us for it?”

            “Well, they said that they would send us free dildos and vibes and stuff.”

            “You can’t pay the rent with sex toys.” 

Rent?

            “If we only could,” I mused. 

            “It’s fine,” she said, “I like our independence.  I prefer to be a social media sinfluencer.”