Op-Ed from the Politico-Parody Press

Breaking News: Sanna Marin, the thirty-six year old, female, Finnish prime minister had fun!

Prime Minister of Finland Sanna Marin

Yes, there is evidence and she has even confessed to it publicly.  At a news conference, she admitted to being “boisterous” with her friends at a party.  Subsequently, a photo of two women, kissing, and revealing their breasts, though covered by a sign that said “Finland,” appeared on the TikTok of Sabina Särkkä, a thirty-three year old “influencer” and friend of the Finnish prime minister.  She was one of the two women engaged in the now infamous kiss/flash, though Sanna Marin was not the unknown second woman.

This appalling, immoral scandal raises serious political questions, not only for Finland, but for us all across the globe.  If women must be politicians and national leaders, where are the respectable, upright, joyless, sexless prime ministers such as Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, and Golda Meir?  They didn’t party.  They didn’t dance.  And they certainly didn’t pose for an official photoshoot in just a pantsuit and jacket, no bra, with a neckline that goes down to the navel!

Do you see cleavage on Sanna Marin?

Ever since the United States Food and Drug Administration approved contraceptive pills, or “the Pill,” in 1960, it would seem that women were given license to enjoy sex without consequences, that is, to be licentious.  Historically, for millennia, that right was the exclusive province of men.  And so, in the face of such unabashed enjoyment by the female sex – that has had many other culture-controverting effects such as women in the workplace, in the armed forces, and even in politics! – it is entirely appropriate to censure Sanna Marin for her public display of enjoyment, even if she was enjoying in private.

Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin visits the Rogue’s Gallery, before a portrait of the author, HH.

Women enjoy dancing, singing, and displaying their breasts has the desultory implication that they may also enjoy sex.  This cannot be!  Such heresy to the patriarchal hierarchy that has existed since the dawn of civilization must be excoriated from our society.  To that end, we are beginning to see the pendulum shift in the other direction.  In America, the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization has put an end to the formerly constitutionally protected right for a woman to obtain an abortion.  There are many new laws that have either been passed or at least proposed to make it illegal to purchase, sell, or mail contraceptives and/or “abortion pills.”  A few states are making it illegal for parents of so-called “transgender” youth to seek gender reassignment surgery and/or for doctors to perform it.  States such as Texas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Utah, and Florida have passed or proposed laws censoring books deemed “sexually explicit,” “obscene materials,” “sensitive materials,” and “pornography.”

To this end, America should reinstate the Comstock Act, criminalizing using the U.S. Postal Service to mail any obscenity, contraceptives, abortifacients, or sex toys and authorizes the postal service to confiscate birth control sold through the mail.  That will teach women that sex is not something to be enjoyed!

Is it really surprising that Sanna Marin has exhibit such behavior?  After all, she is a woman who is the product of divorce and was raised by two women in a loving relationship.  Perhaps it is due to this lesbian influence that Marin was recently spotted at a preview for the scandalous art exhibit, the Rogue’s Gallery, featuring the notorious nymphomaniac and porno-star, Lola Down.  If ever a woman took pleasure, delight, and enjoyment in the act of sex – whether between her and a man, her and many men, her and a woman, her and many women, her and women and men, or with herself (most often) – it is Lola Down.  The whole exhibit should be shut down and confiscated as deplorable depictions of degenerate art!  Most damning of all, Sanna Marin is reputed to have said about the Rogue’s Gallery that it was “stimulating to both mind and body.”

Need I say more?

Prime Minister of Finland visits a preview of the Rogue’s Gallery and admires the paintings and drawings depicting Lola Down

Anti-Lola protester

Pro-Lo supporter of sex for women

Sinfluencer

            “Lo, what ya doin’?” I asked as I came in the house and found her on the couch, naked, scrolling through her phone.  This wouldn’t be unusual, of course, except for the fact that she was not masturbating at the time.  Just getting ready?  Just finished?  I wasn’t sure.

Lo on her Phone

            “I tallied it up and I have over 20,000 followers on our various platforms,” she said without bothering to look up at me. 

            “Really?  20,000?  That’s a lot of horny men,” I said.

            “And women,” she added.  “And don’t forget your fans.”

Jen X
Madelaine
Piper

            She was kind to include my fans, even if she said it with a bit of scorn.  Lately, I’ve had quite a resurgence of interest.  A number of women have been writing to me telling me how much they enjoy my stories.  There has been Madelaine, Jen, Piper, Dawn, TJ, Tracy, and Liz.  Of course these are not exclusive categories.  Most of the fans of my writing are also fans of Lo.  But in Lo’s mind, she refers to them as “your fans.”  Flattering me?  Or jealousy? 

            In any case, I digress. 

            “I think that makes you a micro-influencer,” I said. 

            “What do you mean ‘micro’?” 

            “I’m just using the terminology that. . .”

            “Let me see your cock,” she said, interrupting.

H.H.

            I walked in front of her on the couch and undid my pants and grabbed my member from my underwear, pulling it out.  “Nothing micro there,” she said. 

            “I just meant that you have reached that echelon.”

            “But we don’t sell anything,” she objected.

            “I’ve received a lot of offers from companies to write posts just for them, or include their products embedded in our stories.”

            “Really?”  She was curious.  “What sort of companies.”

            “Sex toy companies, mostly.”

            “Would they pay us for it?”

            “Well, they said that they would send us free dildos and vibes and stuff.”

            “You can’t pay the rent with sex toys.” 

Rent?

            “If we only could,” I mused. 

            “It’s fine,” she said, “I like our independence.  I prefer to be a social media sinfluencer.”