Category Archives: Hitachi

“This is my body, given for you.”

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“What are those for?”
“These are for later.”

 

Lo is naked in bed.  “Come, Daddy.  Fuck me.”

“No, I’m writing.”

“Oh, please!!!!”

“Later.  Not now.”

“Then be a doll and fetch me a cucumber.”

I get her the vegetable from the kitchen and bring it to her in the bedroom.

“Now give me a condom.”

“Why?”

“You know what sort of stuff they put on this thing?  Insecticides, wax, who knows what!  Put a condom over any phallic-shaped object and you’re good to go.”

“Thanks for the free advice,” I say as I pull a condom out from my nightstand drawer.

“You’re welcome.”

I begin to leave the room.

“You sure you don’t want to get in on this?” she asks as she spreads her legs and puts the cucumber in her hole.”

“I’ll pass on the salad.  I haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

“Well, you’re missing out.  The dressing is homemade.”

I leave the room and return to my computer where I try to continue writing.  My thoughts are disturbed by the moans, groans, and then screams and sighs that I hear my little nymphet producing like a primitive mating call, signaling to all within earshot that she is eager for cock, or pussy, or something.  I believe I read about that as an actual scientific theory in the book Sex at Dawn.  Women are louder than men when it comes to sex because their sounds are an enticement for other men to fuck them, thus increasing the likelihood of fertilization.

Just a fun photo I found featuring Sex at Dawn

That morning I was able to prove the theory true through the scientific method of replication of results.  No sooner had Lola howled to the heavens about how filling and nutritionally valuable her ‘vagetable’ was, than there was a knocking at the door.

Annoyed, I get up from my computer, where I hadn’t been able to write more than a sentence, and I answer the door – Lola’s sex-singing still quite audible in the background.  Standing at the door is a FedEx delivery guy.  He seems to be in his fifties.  Old, tired, rundown.  However, he hears the post-self-coital cooing coming from the bedroom.

“I have a package for delivery.  It needs your signature.”

I look at the package.  I see Lo’s name on it.  “Oh, it’s not for me.  It’s for Lola,” I say, looking up at him.

“Whatever,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.  “I just need a signature.”

I’m feeling particularly wily that morning and so I insist that it be signed by Lola.

“Lo!” I call, “Oh Lo,” I repeat in a sing-song fashion.

“I’m busy!” I hear bellowing down the hall and I also just perceive the sound of her Hitachi Magic Wand buzzing in the background like a distant hedge trimmer.

“There’s a man here to see you,” I say in a loud voice.  I look at the delivery man and give him a knowing wink.

Lo comes stomping down the hallway, barefoot, naked, her inner thighs glistening with the glaze of her last orgasm, her breasts flailing from left to right with each deliberate footfall.

“What?  Who?”

She stands behind me and sees the delivery man.

“Signature, ma’am,” he says, unflustered.

Lo wedges herself in front of me and stands, stark naked in the doorway, grabbing the electronic signature board, scribbling her name and taking the package.

“It’s a big package” she says, not about what is in her hands, but about the delivery man.

“Thank you, ma’am,” he says.

“You need something?” she asks.  “A drink?  You look parched.”

“No ma’am,” he says, so politely, “I must be going.”

“OK, too bad,” she says, licking her lips.

He turns and walks to his truck.

“What is that?” I ask Lo of the package.

“The latest from ErosettiPress.”

“Oh really?!” I say, excited.

“Yep,” she says, tearing open the package.

She pulls out the very handsome hardcover book: The Anthology of Erotic Narrative, Volume I: Fetish.  “Look!  Our story!”  She shows me the chapter, “Crisscross,” which includes a sexy illustration of Lola, on her back, as sushi is displayed upon her for a nyotaimori feast.

“Dante Remy, the editor, had to condense it from the original,” she adds by way of explanation.

“I frequently have that problem – too much length.”

“Not with me you don’t,” she says.  “Oh!  And look!  They even included a little blurb about us!”

She reads from the bio page:

 

H.H. & Lola, based in the US, push the boundaries of conventional relationships, captivating their readers and followers with their unapologetic exploration of desire and the endless possibilities of a love that knows no limits.  Their large erotic cult following includes tribute artwork and photos from readers, often displaying their books in explicit context.  These fan images and art are published along with the stories in their books, and on their active blog and social media presence.  They are at the center of a community of erotic art and expression.  You can engage with them on their blog site mysexlifewithlola.com and their X and Instagram social media.

 

“What do you think?” she asks me.

“You didn’t write that?” I ask her.

“No, silly!”

“Well, I like it.”  I take the book from her hands to read it over once again.  “I especially like the ‘unapologetic’ bit.”

“Yes, that describes you,” she said, not without a hint of irony.

“And the ‘large erotic cult following.’  That’s nice.”

“Yep – and true.”

“He says we are ‘the center of a community of erotic art and expression.’”

“Well, aren’t we?”

“I guess.  I just never thought of us like that.”

“I’ve thought of me like that,” she remarks.

“Of course you have.  Too bad we have since been banned from X and Instagram.  If the Marquis de Sade lived today, he wouldn’t be locked up in the Bastille, he’d be banished from social media!”

“You keep on having grandiose thoughts of you and Sade and the evil electronic geniuses aligned against you, I think I’ll go back to my regularly scheduled programming,” she says, taking the book and walking down the hall.

“Hey,” I call to her.

She stops and turns around.  “Yes?”
“What’s put you in this Saturday morning self-abuse mood?”

“Do I need a reason?”
“No, but you usually have one.”

“If you must know, I’ve been getting a lot of fan mail ever since we posted the interview with Hani Miletski.”

“Totally Taboo?”
“Yeah, that one.”

“What sort of fan mail?”

“Why don’t you cum and read it with me?  I mean, wait, reverse that.”

“Very funny.”

I follow her down the hall to the bedroom where she has the cucumber, her Hitachi, and her laptop all spread out over the bed.

She turns the computer screen toward me and shows me an image from a female fan.  It is of a young, mid-thirties woman, in bed, a towel wrapped around her hair as if she had just got out of the shower, with her two children, a girl and a boy, suckling at her breasts.  Above and behind her, on the wall, are mounted two framed paintings from the blog.  One of MILF Meri and her son, the other of Lola as a little girl with her panties over her head, standing naked and defiant.  Both artworks were made by our dear Ukrainian friend Sergii.

Pam at home breastfeeding with art by Sergii above her

“And who is this?” I ask.

“Her name is Pam and she’s a housewife raising twins – a boy and a girl.  She doesn’t believe in setting an age for ending breastfeeding.  She told me she’s inspired by Sophie Rose.”

“Who?”

“Oh, never mind.  It’s a movement to breastfeed kids later into life.”

“That’s a movement?”

“Yeah, but she’s on the fringes of that movement?”

“What’s that mean?”

“She is advocating for breastfeeding-self-care.”

“Now you’ve lost me.”

“She enjoys a wank-spank under the covers while the twins are latched onto her tits.”

“And that’s a movement?!”

“Well, not yet, but she is hoping to make it one.”

“You find all kinds,” I said in astonishment.

“It’s not all that uncommon,” remarked Lo, rather clinical about it.  “Pam discovered, like a lot of women who breastfeed, that it is or can be stimulating.  Sexually stimulating.  She got all tingly between her legs.  One day, at the airport no less, she was breastfeeding and, to her complete and utter surprise. . .”

“You mean udder surprise,” I suggest.

“Just full of wit this morning, aren’t ya, ole man?  She suddenly squirted, right out of the blue, right there in public!  She realized later that it was probably a combination of being sexually frustrated – she was going to see her husband who was stationed across the country for work – and the excitement of having her breasts exposed in public where she was getting a lot of stares.”

“Don’t they have special rooms for that?”

“I don’t know,” says Lo, returning the cucumber to its holster inside her as she places the Hitachi on her clit and looks at the photo again.  “But now she does it all the time.  She says it creates the most intense orgasms and bonding experience she’s ever felt.  Now she’s trying to spread the word.  That’s why she wrote to me.  When she saw the interview with Melitski, she thought that our blog would be a good way to publicize the masturlactation method, as she calls it.”

“A portmanteau of ‘masturbation’ and ‘lactation’ I assume?”

She is too fully engaged in her own masturbation to answer me.

Without looking at me, she simply says, “Suck my tits, Daddy.”

I comply, leaning over to latch onto her left breast while my right hand fondles and pulls on her right nipple.  She instantly climaxes – her clenching pussy shooting the cucumber straight out of her pussy like a torpedo!  That is followed by a tsunami of squirt.

“Holy FUCK!” she says, as she apparently surprised even herself.

“Feel better, Love?” I ask.

She laughs to herself.

“What?” I ask.

“As I was cumming, I had the weirdest thought.”

“What was that?” I ask, realizing that we have been in the realm of weird for quite some time.

“I wondered if all those millions of images of the Madonna and Child – you know, of the Virgin Mary and Jesus as an infant at her breast – I wondered if in all of them, if the Holy Mother is in the state of orgasmic bliss.  Isn’t that weird?  I mean, wouldn’t that be something?”

Mary and Baby Jesus

“Only you could have a theophany to put you over the edge.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to write.”

“What are you going to write?” she asks, skimming through images of the Madonna and Child.

“All about you.”

Caravaggio – Madonna and Child with St. Anne

Fan Photo

Protected: Stoya’s Secret Sexual Rival

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The (Not So) Secret Life of Lo the Nympho

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Lo’s kungfu Grip

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuuuuuck!”

That wasn’t Lola firing off those five fucks in a row, that was me.  Lo had just used her left hand, filled with moisturizing cream, to get me off in my pajama bottoms.  This has become an almost nightly routine for us now.  We get into bed – she naked, me in my pajama bottoms – and she says, “Do you want me to milk you Daddy?”

I almost always say yes.

On the rare occasions that I ask her if I can have her, to fuck her, you know, the old-fashioned way of intercourse, she usually just reaches down between my legs and squeezes her cream-filled hand around my hard rod.  I am powerless to protest.  She strokes to climax – always my climax – and then I fall off to sleep in my cum-filled pjs, too spent to change.

This nightly ritual has spurred me to purchase five or six more pajama bottoms in order that I have something to wear the next night.

What Lo does after my dissipated desire allows me to nod off is a mystery.

But recently I have gained a glimpse into that dark, hidden recess.

After hearing from Ginger and her transformation from housewife to hotwife, Lo became curious about the legalized brothels of Nevada.  Apparently, she had been doing internet research on her own late at night.

Fit Ginger Hotwife

Fit Ginger Hotwife

“Daddy,” she said one day over breakfast, “it has been a long time since we went on a vacation.”

“True,” I said, sipping my coffee.  “What do you have in mind?”  I knew she was up to something nefarious.

“Well,” she began, looking off into the middle distance to conjure her vision like a fey dreamer, “in Nevada prostitution is legal.”

“With certain qualifications,” I said, being a cold, hard realist.  Very hard.

Undeterred by my interruption, she continued, “And I’ve looked into it.  They have special vacation, well, uh, sort of sex-tourism packages.”

Lola’s eye is always attracted to a big package.  “I’m confused,” I said.

“Daddy, they issue a special license for tourists to prostitute themselves.”

“No – really?”

She nodded enthusiastically.  Then she looked up at me with those pleading puppy eyes.  “Please, Daddy.”

I’ll spare you all the details, but basically there are a lot of costs involved: licensing, STD testing, room rental, etc.  It seemed to me very much like a day trip on a recreational fishing boat.  There’s the cost of the boat, the fishing license, the taxes, etc.  Built into the cost of the day excursion on the boat are all the hidden costs.  We had to discover all the overhead ourselves for our sex-tourism jaunt.

Once all that was done, we flew to a remote part of Nevada.  Setting up the clientele was easy, given our high-profile web presence.  There was no shortage of johns eager for pay-to-play with Lo.

Other than suggesting the idea and knowing what our special vacation was for, Lo had no other insights into the details.  She wanted it that way.  In order to keep her both figuratively and literally in the dark, I arranged the flight to land at night.  We drove through the veiled desert to the remote, rather dilapidated brothel.  It looked more like a repurposed old motel.  Lo and I found our room and, as she was exhausted, she fell into a deep sleep.

Early the next morning, only a few hours after we had arrived, I woke up to begin preparations for Lo’s stay.  As Lo soundly slept in the buff on the king-sized bed, I collected all her clothes – every last garment.  I put them in my suitcase and simultaneously unpacked the special outfits I had purchased for her, especially for this occasion.  They consisted of thong panties, lace panties, satin bras, elaborate strappy one-piece lingerie, fishnet stockings, and the like.  There was not one item of clothing left in the room that she could possibly wear outside.  She was trapped by her own undergarments, imprisoned by G-strings and sheer mesh fabric.  A fitting metaphor for the Veil of Maya in which we all find ourselves.

I then snuck out of the room with her suitcase.  She had no idea, but I had rented the room adjacent to hers.  The walls were paper thin, allowing me to be a clandestine interloper in her affairs.  About nine that morning I got a text from Lo: “Where are you?”

“I had to go out.  Your first appointment is at noon.  Enjoy.”

“Out?  Where to?”

“Running some errands for your vacation.  His name is Peter.  Call me if you need anything, I will be close by.”

“Daddy, breakfast,” she wrote, complaining.

“It’s being delivered.”

I had arranged for everything.  The room service arrived, finding Lola naked in the hotel room.  I suppose that sort of thing was not unusual, given the purpose of the establishment.

I returned to my adjacent room around ten after getting some greasy grits for myself and I heard Lo in her room.  It sounded like she was showering and then masturbating.  Then, repeat.  I texted her, “Turn on the TV.”

I had arranged that I could cast from my computer to her TV.  I put on one of her favorite shows: Playboy’s “Swing.”

“Oh, Daddy!” she texted back.

I could hear the muted sounds of the TV from her room.

Around noon her first customer, I mean john, that is to say, Peter came.

And boy did he cum!

I heard muted voices.  Then I heard Lo saying, “Fill me!  Fuck me!  Stretch me!  Cum in me!”  That last bit was screamed so that it was exquisitely distinct through the wall.

I heard her repeating at the top of her lungs, as if an incantation or mantra: “I love cock!  I love cock!  I love cock!  I love cock!!!”

There were a few moments of quiet and then I heard the door close.  A few moments later Lo texted me, “First done and gone.”

“How was it.”

“Well, it’s only 12:20, so, I’d say pretty quick.  When’s my next appointment?”

“Not until 1:00.”

“Can you come here, Daddy?”

“No, Lo.  I’m out.  Running errands.”

She sent a sad-face emoji.

I heard her fire up her Hitachi Magic Wand (which I had strategically left for her to find).

Screams.  Silence.  Screams.

A knock at the door.

John #2.

This time there was a lot of talk, but no climax.  No yelling or screaming.

At exactly two o’clock I heard the door close.

“Two down,” texted Lo.

“How was it?”

“He just wanted me to stroke his cock while I looked into his eyes and talked to him.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Anything that came to mind.  He just wanted me to talk.  I tried to make sexy talk, but he preferred that I just say anything.  I basically told him the history of Elizabethan Theater and the history of Shakespeare plays.  That made him very hard and horny.”

“You’re kidding,” I texted back.

“Gotta go!  Next customer.”

I heard the knock at the door even before she texted me.

This time she was loud and proud.

After a little less than an hour, I heard the door close.

“So many kinks,” she texted.

“What do you mean?”

“This one just wanted me to masturbate the entire time.  You have no idea how tingly my pussy lips are.  I had the Hitachi – thanks Daddy! – on my cunt for almost an hour!”

There was another knock at the door.

“Don’t I get a lunch break?!” she texted.

“No rest for the randy,” I texted back.

This time I heard what sounded like her being thrown against the wall in a rhythmic pattern.  I was worried.  I watched my phone like a hawk.  I thought the two of them were going to pound right through the thin wall into my room.

After about twenty or thirty minutes of the constant banging, I heard nothing at all.

Ten minutes later I heard a man’s voice yelling, “Whore!  Cunt!  Fucking Slut!”

A few minutes later I heard the distinct purr of Lola.

Then the door shut again.

“Are you ok?” I texted her immediately.  I was so concerned.

“Divine,” she wrote back.

“Please explain,” I responded, dryly.

“He was rough and violent and he said so many derogatory things to me. . .  I loved it!”

“Really?”

There was another knock at the door.

This time, after a while of no sounds, or at least none that I could hear, I detected Lo’s quiet voice saying, “I love you.  I love you.  I love you.”

Then it stopped.

At ten to five, I got a text: “I’m starving, Daddy.”

I was too enraged and jealous – yes, jealous! – to respond.

At five sharp, there was another knock at the door.

This time I heard nearly nothing except the loud groan of a man’s voice.

At five-thirty the door shut.

“Well, at least I got a snack,” texted Lo.

“Ready for dinner?” I asked.

“I’m always ready, and hungry, and horny.”

I knocked at her door, even though I had the key.  I was curious as to her reaction and I also thought it would be an ironic joke.

She answered the door the way I imagine she answered it for all the six other guys who had preceded me: wearing a black negligée that barely covered her ass and pussy.  Nothing else.  Her tits were practically falling out of it.

Lo, Dressed for Success

“You’re a welcome surprise,” she said.  “I actually thought you had booked me straight through to midnight!”

“Would you like that?”

“I’m a hard worker and I work best when my customers are hard.”

“Well, good news – you and I are going to grab dinner together.”

“First, where?  Second, I have no clothes, remember?”

I handed her a sleek black dress.  She had panties and bras and high heels in the room already.

She put on the heels, not the bra or panties.  She looked dressed more as if in a negligée than a party dress.  Her nipples were visible through the thin, shiny material.

She looked good – dirty, dissolute, disheveled, devilish, and desirable.

“Don’t you want me, Daddy?” she asked as she hiked up her dress and spread her pussy lips to show me the cum dripping out.   Whose cum?  Could have been anyone’s.

“Later, Lo,” I said.  “We’ve got reservations.”  I almost chuckled to myself as I said it.

“Really?!” she asked, excited as if we were still in our metropolis and able to pick from a few hundred eating establishments.

We walked out into the cool, dry Nevada night.

“No car?” she asked as we walked in the dirt across the parking lot.

“Here we are,” I said after about fifty feet, when we got to the door of the dive bar and restaurant across from the brothel.

“Here?!” she moped.

“Lo, there ain’t another Michelin rated restaurant for at least a hundred miles from here.”

“I don’t need Michelin rated, but I do need edible.”

“Relax, this place is fine.”

“We walked in like two invitees to the Emmy’s, only to find a juke box greeted us, followed by a long, worn wooden bar, and tables with plastic picnic-table cloths covering them, pitchers of Miller Light upon them, and people wearing cowboy hats unironically dancing.

“You’re kidding, right?” she asked as all the male eyes in the place magnetically rested upon her sweet, antipodinal angelic aura.

“Couldn’t be any more serious,” I said as the kind hostess showed us to our picnic-table.

We ordered the less-than-mediocre meal and a pitcher of their finest Miller beer.

“Daddy,” Lo inquired, “do I have a busy day tomorrow?”

“All booked up – ten to six.”

“I don’t know if I can handle it,” she said, almost admitting defeat.

“I believe in you, Lo.  Did you not enjoy today?”

She was quiet for a few seconds.  Pensive.  “I enjoyed it well enough.”

“What’s that mean – ‘well enough’?”

“I was hoping to get fucked like a broken screen door in a hurricane.  But only one guy was like that.  Don’t get me wrong,” she said, her eyes lighting up, “that was wonderful, but the other guys – they were kinda weird, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

The meal came and Lo started eating like she hadn’t seen food in a week, even though the food was far below her standards.

She never completed her thought.

“I have something special planned for you tomorrow,” I said.

Her eyes lit up.  “Tell me!”  She can’t stand a surprise.

“Nope.  You’ll find out tomorrow.”

We finished our meal and ordered another pitcher of beer.  We weren’t driving, so, why not?

After downing two pitchers, we felt oddly attracted to the silly country dancing that we had observed among a few of the regulars.  We joined in.  Lo’s black, strappy heels were a comical contrast to the other women’s cowboy boots.  Lo’s sleek black dress also looked out of place among the other women in their jeans or denim shorts and plaid, button-down shirts.  But the biggest contrast was that the other women were all at least ten years older and heavier than Lo, by far.  They were like ranch hands.  It was clear that they were all married and moms.  Though the brothel shared a parking lot with this restaurant, it seemed as if the other prostitutes all went home to their husbands and families at the end of their shifts, or they went somewhere else, but they certainly were not grabbing dinner here.  I’m not saying any of that in a disparaging way, just pointing out the ways in which Lo stood out like a rosebush among the cacti.

And I wasn’t the only one to notice the difference.  The men in the place looked over their wives’ shoulders as they danced with them, staring at Lo.  The wives, for their part, gave Lo the meanest of looks, judging her and silently despising her.  They knew where she had been all day and where she’d be all night.  These good Christian women, with God, guns, and glory on their side, stood in judgment of Lo’s heretical goddess, gams, and gloryhole.

Perhaps mistakenly, we ordered another pitcher of beer to quench the thirst we developed while dancing.  Soon Lo was dancing in the arms of many of the different men at the bar, letting them feel her nipples over the sheer material of the dress, slide their hands down over the curve of her rear, and partially up her thigh.  I could tell Lo had a long day and was getting too tipsy to tear up the dance floor and so I politely cut in and escorted her back to her room where she had worked the day as an escort.

Samantha Massie reading Match, Cinder & Spark

Country Girls with Samantha Massie

Reverse View of Samantha Massie and friends

Samantha Massie and her besties

Samantha Massie and friends

One more of Samantha Massie’s behind

Back in the room, Lo quickly slipped out of her dress and into a slip, pulled out her Hitachi and her phone and began going at it on the couch as I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth.  By the time I returned to where she had been stimulating her stretched and sore pussy, I found her, motor of the Hitachi still vibrating, her phone still open to the photos she was using to get off – pics of her friend Samantha Massie and her crew of country MILFs.  I had been in the bathroom for maybe three, four minutes max!  But by the time I came to the couch beside the bed – the same bed upon which she had prostituted her body – she was sound asleep with her breasts hanging out of her slip.

Lo, Sleeping with her Best Friend

The next morning I woke up early.  I snuck out with her dress.

“Daddy, where are you?” she texted.

“Errands,” I responded.

“What could you possibly have to do?”

“I guess not you.”

“What?”

“You fell asleep on me last night, leaving me hard up.”

“Sorry.”

“Should I find a prostitute?”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Can you fit me into your busy schedule?”

“I’m very flexible – I could probably fit you and a couple more guys in.”

There was a knock at the door.

“Time to find out how much more of this I can take.  Where’s my breakfast?”

“It should be there any minute now.”

“Well, my john is here now.”

There was another knock at the door.

“Oh, never mind.  Breakfast arrived,” she texted.

About twenty minutes and a few howls later, I heard the door close.

“How’s breakfast?” I asked.

“He fucked me as I ate it.  He said it was a real turn-on for him.”

“Full, or still hungry?” I texted back.

“I can always take a little more,” she wrote.

I heard the bath running.

I heard a knock at the door.

I heard Lo open it and talk to the customer.

About twenty minutes later I received a text.  “He jacked off to me as I took a bath.  That was easy!”

There was another knock.

Lo texted, “Daddy, they’re arriving every half hour.”

“That’s your surprise.  Today is economy class.  They only paid for thirty minutes.  Later they will be arriving every fifteen minutes.”

“What?!”  She included a number of emojis to demonstrate her displeasure with that.

There were three more visitors to her room before lunch.

“Will you join me for lunch?” she texted.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

I knocked at the door.  She opened it wearing only a transparent and skimpy negligée through which I could see everything.

Lo, Falling Out

“You said you could fit me in.”

“That was before you told me my schedule.  I’m full up.”

“I hope not.  You have ten more appointments today.”

“Ten?!”

I finally walked in the door.  Lunch was delivered.  A sandwich, fries, and a lemonade.  I watched her eat as I observed the room.  It was a mess.  The bed was a mess and looked well-used.  Various undergarments were strewn around the room.  Used condoms were hanging over the side of the trashcan and were in it as well.

“How’s work?” I inquired.

She spread her legs for me to see the commingled cum of various men dribble out of her.

“It’s a complicated business,” she said in between bites, “a lotta ins, a lotta outs.  You know.”

“I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“Everything tastes like cum,” she said as she put down her sandwich and took a sip of her drink.

“Your favorite flavor.”

“Do I have cum in my hair?” she asked.

I looked.  “A little.”

“The last guy was all about cumming on my face.”

“Bad aim?”

“No.  For the most part, he hit the target.”

“Any other standout performances?”

“One of the guys, I forget which one, wanted to use my ass.”

She knows exactly how jealous that makes me.

“Did you let him.”

“He paid for hit, didn’t he?”

“I suppose.”

“He went ass-pussy, ass-pussy, ass-pussy, ass-mouth.”

“Covered all the bases.”

“Then he repeated it.”

“All in a half-hour’s time?”

“He made the rounds quickly.”

“Where did he finally arrive?”

“Ass, then mouth.”

“Well, you’ll have to speed up the spin cycle because all the rest of today’s engagements are only a quarter-hour.”

“Don’t you worry.  Just as I can make you cum in under five minutes, I will give each of them their money’s worth.”

“Your talent never ceases to amaze me!”

I left and returned to my post.  As I was outside, I saw the next customer pull up.  A middle-aged man with a wedding band on his left ring finger.

I slipped in the door to my hotel room as he knocked on Lola’s door.

Soon I could hear him knocking on Lola’s back door too!

He was gone quickly.

A new customer came in and exited in under fifteen minutes.  Lola texted me, “I had to pee when the last one arrived.  I told him so.  He asked to watch.  He stroked it as I was on the toilet and then came on my face as I continued sitting, fingering my clit in front of him.  It was hot!”

Cleanup

Ready!

Another customer.  Lo texted me after that this one had a foot fetish and came on her toes.

There were many more before her last appointment for the night.  The last one had paid for two hours and had a very particular fetish.  It was a husband and wife and they wanted Lo to dress up as a bride in white lingerie: mesh lace pushup bra, matching thong panties, harness suspender belt connected to white garters and of course a tiara with flowing lace veil.  I had packed all this for Lola with a note on it that said, “Finale.”  Now she understood what I meant by that.

They were into roleplay.  The husband and wife team told Lo that the scenario is that they are her parents on her wedding night and they are going to teach her how it’s done.

“You want to be sexy for your groom,” she said to Lo.

“OK, Mom, tell me how,” replied Lo.

“I’ll show you instead,” she said as she got naked and bent over the bed.  “Put your ass in the air like this.”

Lo stood next to her as if her magic mirror.  Gazing into the looking glass, the older woman beheld the younger.

Her husband approached her from behind and mounted her.

“Make sure you’re good and wet,” she instructed.

“Oh, Mom, I’m always wet.”

“He’ll enter you like so,” she said as she moaned.

“Is he big?” asked Lo.

“Try for yourself,” she said.

“Lola, spread your pussy for me,” he said to her.

Lola did as told, very dutifully.

He entered her.

“That’s it, honey,” said her ersatz mother as she grabbed Lo’s ass cheeks and spread them for her husband to penetrate her.  Then she got in front of Lo and began smacking at Lo’s tits as they hung down and undulated forward with each thrust from behind.

“Mom,” said Lo, “that hurts!”

“Does it?” she asked, pausing from pawing Lo’s breasts.

“I didn’t say stop,” said Lo.

The wife resumed slapping Lo’s tits, gently at first but gradually with more force as her husband also grew more forceful from behind.

“I think you have done this before,” said the wife.

“Once or twice.  Why?  Am I good at it?”

“So good,” said the husband.

“Are you going to cum?” asked his wife.

“Fuck, yes!  I am.”

“Cum on my tits!” said his wife.  “And let me taste you after,” she added, opening her mouth wide.

He pulled out of Lo and came right on his wife’s breasts as she held them together tightly.  Then he put his cock in her mouth for her to taste Lo’s juices.

“Lick me clean,” she instructed Lo.

Lo didn’t need to be told twice.

“That’s it.  You’ll make a good wife to your groom.  But, darling, I’m going to have to instruct him how to properly fuck you.  You don’t mind, do you?” asked the older woman.

“No, Mom.  He’s been hoping to be schooled by you.”

“Good.  I hope he’s longer and thicker than your father over there,” she said, nodding at the sated man in the chair.

“He is, by far!”

The couple eventually cleaned up and left, each of them kissing Lo goodbye first.

I then returned to my love and got the full story from her as she made passionate love to me, calling out numerous times, “Daddy, am I a bad girl?  Am I a slut?  Am I a proper, passionate, pliable little prostitute?”

“Yes, dear,” I said, “you’re a good whore, but more than anything else, you’re my whore.”

She liked that.  She liked that very much.

On the plane home, Lo turned to me and whispered, “Thank you Daddy, that was the most wonderful birthday present ever.”

“Birthday present? – it was your Valentine’s Day gift.”

“So I still have a birthday present coming to me?”

“You sure do!”

Her eyes lit up.  “When we get back?”

“If you’re a good girl,” I said, patronizingly.

She held my hand.  There was a silence during which I knew exactly what she was thinking.

Three, two. . .

“What is it?” she asked, right on queue.

“That would spoil the surprise.”

“But Daddy, I can’t wait.  Give me a hint.”

“No hints.”

She looked disappointed and then put her finger to her lips and furrowing her brow as if she were in deep thought.

“Now Lola,” I said, “if you do that, you’ll give yourself wrinkles prematurely.”

She looked at me, surprised.

“Do you think I’m getting wrinkles?” she asked in a panic, putting her hands to her forehead to smooth her skin.

“No,” I laughed, “no I don’t.”

“When do you think I’ll get wrinkles?  Do you think I’ll go grey?  You think my boobs will sag?”

“You realize, Lo, you’re ageist.”

“Ageist?  Me?  Impossible.  I’m dating you and you’re ancient!”

“You see.  There you go again.”

“Oh, come on,” she said.

“Well, thank God you don’t age.”

“No, I don’t, do I?”

“Not a day over twenty-four.”

“But I will be soon,” she said with fright.

“No you won’t.”

“What?”

“How old were you last year?” I asked.

“Twenty-four,” she said as if it were an obvious question.

“And how old did you turn the year before that?”

“Twenty-three.  Duh.”

“Nope.”

“What?”

“You turned twenty-four.”

“I think you failed math.  Twenty-three comes before twenty-four.”

“How old will you turn this year?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Nope.”

“We are in a plane, but are you high?  How ‘nope’?”

“Because, my dear, I am the author of this here story.  You have been twenty-four since we started this account of our sex lives together.”

She looked at me like I was crazy.

“OK,” I said, “how old am I?”

“That’s easy,” she said, looking a little nervous.

“Then tell me.”

“You’re fifty-something.”

“Fifty what?”

“Fifty-er-uh-something.”

“I had a birthday last year.  Remember?”

“Of course I do!  I got you a private stripper.  Do you remember?”

“Yes,” I said, dreamily.

She teasingly punched me, “Hey, I’m over here,” she said.

“And how old did I turn last year?”

“Fifty. . . one?”

“Nope.”

“Two?”

“Nope.”
“How old?”

“Fifty-something, exactly.”

“That’s silly.”

“I have always been fifty-something and you have always been twenty-four.  I will always be fifty-something and you will forever remain twenty-four.”

“Forever?”
I nodded affirmatively.  “Forever.”

She thought about it for a while before finally asking, “But I still get a birthday present?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Then I’m ok with that.”

Lo Exhausted

99 Problems: A Valentine’s Day Tale

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[Dear Lovlies, this story was published in the February 2021 issue of Ethical Non-Monogamy Magazine. If you would like to get your free Match, Cinder & Spark book, send us an email at: downloladown@gmail.com]

“Well, Darling, I guess it’s just you and me: Santa and his little sexy elf,” I said to her as she snuggled up to me under my arm on the couch.  She was still wearing her sleek red dress and nothing else.  We had the fire going (on the T.V. thanks to Netflix).

Lola’s Good Cheer

“It was a nice day,” she said, a touch of melancholy in her voice.

We both knew it wasn’t like Christmases past.  It was COVID Christmas.  No kissing friends and strangers under the mistletoe or unwrapping presents with a large crowd looking on to see your reaction to their gift.

We had spent the day delivering goodies to friends and family, driving all around town, making stops from noon until nine at night.  Each stop was accompanied by a little chat outside in the brisk air with a shot or two to warm us up.  It was good to see familiar faces and bring them gifts, even if we couldn’t hug, kiss, dance, or sit in their comfortable living rooms for some schnapps and grog.

We were determined to make the day as special as we could.  Now that we were home (and a little tipsy) I told her she could look under the tree to see what Santa had brought for her.

“Have you been naughty or nice?” I asked.

“Which gets me more gifts?” she asked as she rummaged under the tree and found the little box I had carefully hidden.

She immediately knew what it was.  She opened it extremely carefully.  The diamond ring was illuminated by a tiny light that automatically turned on when the ring box was opened.  It looked magical in the dimly lit room.  The cute case glowed with an aura of heavenly mystique.

“Oh Daddy!” she said, giving me a big kiss.  “How did you know?”

She was being very facetious since she had designed the piece of jewelry, ordered it, and tracked its delivery.  All I did was pass her my credit card and then wrap it when it arrived.

“Is there anything there for me?” I asked.

“Yes, there is.  Wait here and come into the bedroom when I call you.”

A few moments went by before her sing-song voice invited me in.

She was wearing a new red satin negligée.  “My Santa suit.  Second only to my birthday suit.”  She spread her legs to reveal that she also had shaved.

Lola’s present for Daddy

“No more Hannukah bush?” I asked.

“You know what they say.”

“What’s that?”

“Hair today, gone tomorrow.”

“You’ve been hanging around me too long.  Leave the puns to dads who like dad jokes.”

“Do you like, Daddy?” she asked as she gently tugged at her pussy lips.

“Very much.”

“You’re not hard to please.  You know that?”

“Yes, but when you please me, I am hard.”

“Show me!  Let me drink your eggnog.”

“Your ring looks good on your finger,” I remarked as she stroked herself.

“Yes, now maybe you’ll make me a proper hotwife!”

“Oh no, Lo.  I can’t make a descent woman out of you.  You’ve spent a lifetime cultivating being an indecent woman.”

“True.  But you know, either way, I’m happy.  Deep, deep inside, I’m happy.  And you can be too.”

“Be happy?”

“No, deep, deep inside me.”

She stood up from the bed, bent over, and looked at her exposed rear in the full-length mirror behind her.  “It’s weird,” she said, “how horny I get looking at myself naked.”

I have to admit, she had me excited just looking at her like that.

I fumbled to remove my pants as she pouted, “Daddy, I just can’t wait.”

As swiftly as I could, I slid into her impatient peonies petals, already wet with dew.

Within moments she sensed the inevitable and spun around in order to receive her reward.

Though that may have been my climax, it is not the climax of our story.

Drunk on my cum, she looked up at me and asked, “Which part did you like the most: the first ten seconds or the last ten seconds?”

“Hey, I might have been fast, but what or who can give that much pleasure in so short a time?”

“Are you talking about my ability to give pleasure or yours?  Never mind.  I’ll show you what can give even more pleasure,” she said as she reached under the bed to take out her Hitachi.

Lo gushes for her mechanical lover

As she was on her solo journey to Pleasure Town, I pulled out my laptop and read a few emails written to our shared downloladown account.  There were a number of thank you notes from the men, women, and couples who had received our “XXX-mas” gifts – a free Match, Cinder & Spark book or audiobook.

It was nice to hear from our fans that we helped cheer them up in this otherwise dismal time.

After Lo had ‘spouted off’ in the best possible way, she sat up to look over my shoulder.  Glancing at the screen, I sensed she was a bit disappointed.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“No, it’s something Lo.  What is it?”

“Just the thought that put me over the edge was that you were looking at photos of me, not reading emails.”

“Well, it’s the next-best-thing.  They’re emails about you.  Besides, why would I look at photos of you on my computer when you’re lying next to me vibrating your va-jay-jay till the levee breaks?”

“Exactly!  And why would you be reading emails when you have this at your disposal?!” she said, slapping her sloppy puss for emphasis.

Changing the subject slightly, I asked, “Do you think it was egomaniacal of me to give my own books as a Christmas gift?”

“I think it’s egomaniacal of you to write those books.”

“That wasn’t egomaniacal.  That was a gift to humanity.”

“Never have I seen such a self-satisfied narcissist!”

“Didn’t you just look in the mirror?”

“Shut up and pass me Glindo,” she said, referring to her glass dildo that was next to me on the nightstand.

Lo and ‘Glindo’

“Why?  What are you up to now?” I asked, seeing her with her legs spread wide on the bed, dildo in hand.

“Nothing, but I’m open to doing something.”

“What are you open to doing?”

“You.”

“Now?”

“Well, after I do myself.”

“Again?”

Never one for false modesty, she implored, “Read to me some of the things people are saying about the book.”

“While you jill it?”

“Yeah, it’s a turn-on to know that I get guys hard and women wet.”

“Well, one person called you a slut and said that you do all this just for attention.”

“That is not true,” she said emphatically, “being a slut is its own reward.”

“You could call the attention a fringe benefit.”

She was too busy now to laugh at my pun.

Overcome by her perspicuous paramour, Lo lunged forward with a long, lusty moan.

As she recovered from her self-inflicted squirt, I asked her, “Do you think we should do it again for Valentine’s Day?”

“I’m hoping we’ll do it long before then!”

“I mean a free book for fans.”

“Oh,” she said, realizing her mistake.  “Sure.  Maybe we could ask our readers to send in their Valentine’s Day stories and send a free book to the top ten that we publish.”

“That’s a great idea!”

“Photos are also welcome,” she added.  “Now do me, Daddy.  I’ve only had two orgasms tonight and you know I need at least three.”

“Lo, you really are a slut for attention!”

“I got 99 problems, but being a slut ain’t one.”

Be My Valentine

Grist for the Mill

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Tanning while reading Match, Cinder & Spark

Strolling through the park on a bright summer’s afternoon.  “What a glorious day,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said lasciviously.

I looked at her eyes and followed her line of sight.  She was watching two sunbathers.

“Lo, what are you thinking about?”

“Nothing, Daddy, I just can’t wait to get home and bang you,” she said while biting her lower lip.

The female sunbather turned over, revealing that she was wearing merely a thong.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, accusatorily.

“Darling, the difference between you and I is that I am an aesthete.”

She rolled her eyes.  “This again?”

“And you are a hedonist.”

“Really?”

“Yes.  Quite so.”

“What makes me a hedonist for looking at the exact same thing you were looking at?”

“I was looking at the entire composition of the sun, the clouds, the green grass, the spatial relations of the various persons and trees upon the sward, the mathematical ratio of the low lying buildings to the rectangular outline of the park’s boundary.  I could go on.”

“I’m sure you could, you pompous ass-thete!”

“While you, my dear,” I continued, ignoring her invective interruption, “were simply thinking about the heat of the sun, the cool of the breeze, the tingling between your legs stimulated by the physical appearance of those two bodies over there, going home, fucking and eating.  That’s what makes you a hedonist and me an aesthete.”

“You are unbearable!”

“Why do you take such offense?”

“Because you’re basically saying that I’m a simpleton with animalistic cravings and you are a cerebral demigod!”

“Darling, but don’t you see – that’s why we’re are made for each other.  You admire that about me and I admire you for your primal desires.  You wish you could be more like me and I wish I could be more like you.  That is the law of attraction.”

“Primal desires?!”

“I don’t mean it in a value-laden sense.  It’s merely descriptive.  As the great philosophers of Utilitarianism – Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill. . .”

“Oh boy, here we go!”

“As the originators of that philosophy of pleasure, Bentham, in contrast to Mill, put no greater weight on the enjoyment derived from eating bonbons than that derived from reading Balzac.”

“If you could shut up for ten minutes, I’d love to eat your sword and fondle your ball sack.”

“Darling, when I said ‘sward’ earlier, it was with an ‘A,’ meaning a green pasture.  And the Balzac to which I just now referred was to the French author Honoré de. . .”

“Please, please give it a rest!”

“All I’m saying is that the utils that you get from. . .”

“The what?”

“Utils.  The unit of measurement of pleasure in Utilitarianism.”

“Oh, back to that are we?”

“The utils that you get from seeing a curvaceous and scantily clad female are no better or worse than the utils I derive from viewing a Kandinsky painting.  I’m much more sympathetic to Bentham’s egalitarian theory than Mill’s hierarchy of pleasures.”

“Really?  You?  Mr. aristocrat himself?”

“If, by ‘aristocrat,’ you mean that I subscribe to a ranking of merit, then guilty as charged.  But one can excel in merit while still deriving pleasure from the simplest of things.”

“You are such an asshole!”

“But if pressed,” I said, again overlooking her impulsive outburst, “I would have to admit that I do not subscribe to Utilitarianism at all.”

“OK, I’ll bite.  What do you subscribe to?”

“I think Nietzsche understood that humans are not such simplistic beings as brute beasts, merely out to diminish pain and increase pleasure.  Observation of any great artist shows that the highest exemplars of the human race make great sacrifices and endure terrible suffering for the sake of art.”

“Oh, and what sacrifices and sufferings have you had to endure?”

“The subheading of our blog is ‘the trials and tribulations of dating a nymphomaniac.’”

“I am the source of your suffering?!”

“The source of my art, and thereby, the source of the suffering that I go through for it.”

“What suffering is that?  Having sex with a goddess multiple times a day?”

“No, no, no dear.  It’s the, the, um, creative process.”

“What does that mean?”

“Like this conversation, for instance.  It’s all just grist for the mill.”

“So, conversing with me is a source of suffering for you?”

“No, no.  You take my meaning all wrong.”

“I really don’t see another possible interpretation.”

At this point, we were at our front door.  Just as we arrived, a sun-shower began.

“What a weird season,” said Lo.  “It’s wet like spring, hot like summer, and beautiful like autumn.”

“You just described yourself: wet, hot, and beautiful.”

Lola Down – Wet, Hot, and Beautiful

“What about smart?”

“Lo, you know how I admire your intelligence.”

“Do I?  You just performed an oral dissertation about how I am a hedonist given over to carnal desires.”

“There’s wisdom in that.”

“What does that mean?”

“You are wise beyond words.”

“I know what you’re saying.  You wish I’d shut up and you could simply enjoy my beauty without having to listen to me talk.  You think you’re so smart.”

“No.  I’m just wise beyond your years.”

“I don’t need your stamp of approval.  I know I’m smart,” she said with a grin indicating just how content she was with herself.

“Then why do you get so upset when I talk?”

“Because you say the dumbest things.”

I must have looked mortally wounded by her words because she followed that up with, “I mean that with love.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“The dumbest things for someone so intelligent.  That’s what I meant.”

Once we were inside, I sat down at my computer to transcribe this little conversation of ours.  She was in the bedroom, naked no doubt.  She hollered down the hall for me to join her.

“Can’t you see I’m writing?  Why do you keep distracting me?” I called back.

“You think that life is just writing and that everything else is a distraction.”

I heard the quiet purr of her Hitachi start up, followed by her moans of pleasure.

When I had completed the reporting of our peripatetic discourse, I sauntered down the hall to check on her, following the sounds of her self-copulatory female vocalizations.

Her right hand held the mechanism between her legs as her left held her phone and scrolled through various images.

Lo’s Little Friend

I turned to leave.

“Hey,” she called to me, “where are you going?”

“It seems that you have matters well in hand,” I said.  “You give no indication of needing assistance.”

“For many species, masturbation is the mating call,” she responded.

“Oh, so you want me?”

“If your superior intellect can deign to do me – a mere mortal full of base desires.”

“Like the immaterial Nous infusing the nether pleroma with its animating spirit.”

I had penetrated her as I spoke those words.

“You’re lucky I’m such a sapiosexual, or else I’d take offense at that,” she said, looking up at me.  “But the mere fact that you not only know what those terms mean, but can use them when fucking turns me on.  And, I might add, your emanation is hardly immaterial.”

Within moments she had reached the apogee of her venereal excitement.

I slowly removed my sword from her scabbard and stood over her recovering body.

“What?” she asked.  “You’re not going to cum?”

“That was strictly for your pleasure, my dear,” I said.

“You got nothing from it?” she asked, insulted.

“Your enjoyment gives me satisfaction.  Now, back to my writing.”

“Good grief!  You’re lucky you have me or you’d have nothing to write about except ideas!”

Cum-Covered

Later that day, a friend sent an email asking, “How are you two?”

Lo responded, “We’re doing fine.  HH is writing.  I’m masturbating.  Once in a while he puts down his pen and picks up his penis and gives it to me.  But mostly he gives me his stories to edit.”

I turned to her and said, “You know, my writing makes you immortal.”

“And my body makes you mortal.”

“Are you saying that without your body I’d live forever?”

“No, I’m saying that without my body, you wouldn’t even live once.”

Stress Relief

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It was Thursday night.  I walked in on Lo taking a shower.  “Why is there a wineglass in here?” I asked.

“Because I thought I’d have a sensual, romantic evening.”

“Only you would make a sensual, romantic date with yourself in the shower.”

“Hardly.  But, if you must know, I had originally planned on a bath, surrounded by candles.”

“And?”

“I wanted to cut to the chase.”

I looked in at her and saw that she had the hand-held shower head between her legs.

“Only you could cheat yourself out of a romantic date in order to get lucky – with yourself!”

After her climax, she got out of the shower and as she was drying off, she said, “I’m trying to cultivate pleasurable habits.”

I snickered.

“What?”

“Pleasurable habits are your forte.  I don’t think you need to ‘cultivate’ them.”

“No, no.  Not those sorts of pleasurable habits.  Normally it would be things like getting coffee at a café, strolling through a museum.  Doing yoga.  But during these pandemic times we’re in, I need to discover and foster different pleasurable habits.  What are your pleasurable habits?”

“You.”

“Damn straight.”

“Glad we’re agreed on that because I was afraid you were going to tell me to work out or eat better, or, God forbid, cut out beer!”

“Speaking of that. . .”

“Oh no!”

“No, no, no, silly.  I was just going to say that since I can’t go to the gym, I am going to have to find a way to do workouts at home.”

Lola Today

She put on her workout shorts and sports bra and told me to get out of the bedroom because she was going to do some exercises.  I left and about five minutes later I heard her grunting and breathing heavily.

The next day Lola went into the bedroom to do her exercises again.  When she came out she told me about a workout video that got her hot – about burning your buns off.

On the third day, Lola went into the bedroom to do her exercises and I heard her grunting and breathing heavily.  I was curious.  I went to check on her.  I cracked the bedroom door and found her masturbating on the bed to the sexy woman in the exercise video.

“Is this how you work out?!” I said, walking in on her and interrupting the strenuous physical discipline.

“I told you, I am cultivating pleasurable habits.  If my exercise turns into a digitally manipulated cardio session, that counts as a pleasurable habit.”

The next day during her exercise time I caught her in the bedroom pounding her pussy with her glass dildo instead of doing pushups.

“I felt like I needed to work out, but needed to work it out first!  I had a really hard day.”

“Oh, is this your homeopathic remedy?”

“Why do you ridicule me?  I don’t poke fun at you when your idea of exercise is typing fifty-words-per-minute.”

“I’m not poking fun at you.  I’m in awe of your capacity for poking your yum-yum.”

“Good grief!  Could you leave me to my own devices and take your puns into the other room?”

The following night she began masturbating during a movie we were watching.

“Lo, what are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing?”

“It looks like your finger-fucking your pussy while we’re trying to watch a movie.”

“Keen observation.”

“But why can’t we just watch the movie?  Before too long, you’ll make yourself cum and then you’ll want to fuck me and we’ll never get through the movie.”

“We’re watching Brad Pitt take off his shirt.  Everyone masturbates to that!”

“You’re extrapolating.”

“What?”

“Because you do it, you’re extrapolating from yourself to everyone.”

“And everyone extrapolates.”

“Now you’re confusing extrapolate with masturbate.  Everyone masturbates, but not during every movie.”

“Extrapolate, masturbate, fornicate, what’s the difference?  Can you please press PLAY so I can get on with this?  You interrupted my rhythm.”

“You’re just going to exacerbate the problem by persisting in it.”

“Exactly.”

As I sat watching the scene unfold, I can’t deny that it got me hard.  Lo noticed and said, “If we go to bed, will you stay up?”

“What about the movie?”
“You’ll fall asleep during it anyway.  Let’s get into the bedroom where you can get into me.”

I agreed and got up.  She remained on the couch.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked.

“I hope to be soon.  Brush your teeth, get in bed and I’ll be right there.  I’m just going to finish this up,” she said as if she were in the middle of making a spreadsheet for a work project.

In bed, I fell asleep waiting for her.  She must have entered without my noticing, pulled out her Hitachi and, after cumming once, she put it on my back and jolted me awake.  “I was just using the defibrillator to bring you back to consciousness,” she said wickedly.

After I awoke, she sucked me off, climbed on top of me, and began riding my erect cock.  It is well trained to react to her while the rest of me sleeps.  “Fucking you is like fucking a geriatrics patient.”

“You say the most romantic things.”

“I need dick.  Give it to me.”

I was almost asleep again as she bounced up and down.

“This is like fucking a cock on a corpse after rigor mortis has set in.”

“You sure know how to turn a guy on.”

“I want your cum, Daddy.  Give it to me.  Fill me.”

Relieved to hear her request since it meant the culmination of my satisfaction and the fulfillment of her nocturnal necromancy, I released my draught of desire deep inside her to her delight.

“Thank you, Daddy,” she said, falling into my arms.

“So, am I on your list of pleasurable habits to cultivate?”

“Of course you are, silly!  Number one on the list is ‘Jill it. Drill it. Fill it.’”

“What’s number two?”

“Actually, it’s the only thing on my list so far.”

Stress Relief Tools

Honey Dripper Double Dipper

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[Continued from A Case of the Mondays]

Lola had told me that she would be going out to dinner with friends that Monday night.  Knowing no one was waiting for me at home, I stayed late at work.

“Good night Mr. H.,” said my secretary.

“Good night Ms. Gale,” I responded without looking up from my desk.

I could feel her standing in the doorway to my office looking at me.

“Yes, Ms. Gale?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. H., but do we have so much to do?  I thought we were on top of our cases.  Would you like me to do something for you?” she asked, playing with her blond curls and leaning slightly over as if to see what tasks I was working on so late, but really just giving me a good view of her breasts.  I often wonder what it is she’s really offering.

Lo’s “Do Not Disturb” sign

“No Ms. Gale.  That won’t be necessary.  I’m just reviewing the quarterly numbers.  Have a good night.”

Not Ms. Gale, but looks much like her.

“OK, Mr. H.,” she said, turning around and affording me a good look at her long legs in her short skirt and heels as she sauntered down the hall.  If Lo only knew what possibilities I pass up while she dangles her dalliances for my delight.

About two hours later, I went home thinking that Lo would still be out.  But when I got in, I heard her ecstatic screeches emanating from the bedroom.  I followed the sweet sound down the hall and, rather than find Lo engaged in some self-pleasure stress relief, I found the bedroom door closed and her pink panties hanging on the doorknob, indicating that she was engaged in a session with someone and did not wish to be disturbed.

I turned around and began making some leftovers for my dinner.  As I was stirring the soup on the stovetop, suddenly Lo walked in, butt naked, holding her black dildo.  My presence startled her.

“Oh, hi Daddio,” she said, after briefly wielding her sex toy like a weapon.

“Going to bludgeon me with your masturbatory mace?”

“Ha,” she chuckled, “sorry.  I just came.”

“I know.”

“I just came to get a glass of water.”

“Who’s here?”

“Oh, just Robert.”

“Just?”

“Well, only Robert.  One at a time tonight.”

Lo’s Leaky Quim

“Am I on the list?”

“Did you make a reservation?”

“Do you have an app for that?”

“I’ll see if I can fit you in,” she said, grabbing the glass of water and a paper towel.  “Hold this,” she said, passing me the dildo.

I held the giant black cock in my hand gingerly as she put the paper towel between her legs, wiping a trail from her knee up to her crotch.

“Sorry, I don’t want to track up.”

“How considerate.”

She took back her dildo and waddled with the paper towel between her legs back to the bedroom.

I heard her say, “HH is home,” before she shut the door.

About fifteen minutes later, I heard the door open and Dr. Robert Smith appeared in the little dining area by my table as I ate my soup.

“See you at the faculty meeting?” he asked.

“Yep,” I said.

“Don’t forget that proposal that I put forward for us to vote on.”

“It’s in the forefront of my mind,” I assured him.

“Well, goodnight.”

“Say,” I said, not letting him go just yet.

“Yes?”

“How are things with that woman in Italy?” I inquired.

“Linda?”

“Yeah.  Still romantically involved?”

“Actually,” he said, “funny you mention it.  Try to keep this to yourself,” he said in a hushed tone, “but I think we’re going to get married.”

“Married?!” I said.

“Shhhhh,” he cautioned.

“Right.  Well, this is news.  How’d this come about?”

“It hasn’t yet.  I’m going to go visit her to propose.”

“When?” I was eager for him to go.

“In a couple of weeks,” he said with a broad smile on his face.

“So I suppose you won’t be needing Lo as your goto girl to get your rocks off anymore?”

“I certainly hope not,” he said.

“Well, isn’t that rude?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he apologized almost immediately.  “I mean, hopefully she’ll agree and come here to live.”

“I wish you the best of luck, my friend.  Does Lo know?”

“Not yet.  It’s a bit of a secret until I pop the question.  OK?”

“Sure, sure,” I said reassuringly.

“See you at the meeting.”

“Yup.”

With that he was gone.

I wasn’t even done with my soup when I heard Lo call out from the bedroom, “DADIOOOOooooo!”

That’s my queue.

I appeared in the doorway.  She was spread-eagle naked on the bed.

“I guess that’s why they call it a bedspread.  When you get on it, you really spread.”

“Shut up and get in me.  You know you want to.”

“What do you see in him?”

“His accent.  When he speaks, my pussy glistens.”

“Does he fuck you with his words?”

“Well, he uses his tongue in more ways than one.”

“How was it?” I asked her.

“Amazing,” she said, sounding very content.

“Why?”

“His cock is so long.  It’s like twice as long as yours.”

“Mine is over eight inches.  You’re saying he’s sixteen inches long?”

“Well, no.  Maybe like ten.  But it feels twice as long.”

I removed my clothes and looked at her.  I asked, “How do you want it?  Quick and quiet or long and loud?”

“I always like long and loud, Daddy.”

“Looks like your quim sprung a leak,” I said.

“My what?” she asked.

“Your quim.”

“That’s a new one,” she said.

“Actually, it’s quite old.”

“What is?”

“Quim.”

“What is a quim?”

“Quim is a slang word for vulva.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“So you’re saying my quim is quite old?”

“No, the word is old.  It probably comes from ‘queem,’ meaning ‘snug’ in Middle English.”

“Well, I know what I cum from,” she said, looking at me with stars in her eyes.

“Lots and lots of cock,” I said.

“I am easy to please, but that’s not what I meant.”

“What else makes your quim cum?”

She squirmed around, got on her tum, and looked up at me with her big brown eyes.  “Why do I find your intelligence so incredibly sexy?” she asked, licking her lips as she stared at my cock.

“Because you’re a sapiosexual.”

“Don’t you find that flattering?” she asked.

“No, not at all.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re just interested in me until the next smarter person comes around.  Frankly, it’s a lot of pressure.”

“Oh, that is not true.”

“Really?  How do you know it’s not true?”

“Because you’re more than just intelligence to me.  You also have a sweet bod and an amazing dick and you can fuck me senseless.”

“That may be, but I still think you might just fall in love with Deep Blue, given the chance.”

“Deep Blue?”

“Yeah, you know, the IBM computer that beat Kasparov at chess.”

“Yes, I know that, silly.  I was just thinking. . .”

“Thinking what?”

“Thinking about how deep he can be.”

“Good grief!”

“I mean, if you could hook up that computer to these,” she said, holding up her Hitachi and dildo with both hands, “then, I may just fall in love.”

“You can already do that.  They make vibrating dildos that can be controlled remotely through your phone.”

“They do?!”

“Oh, geez, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

She immediately grabbed her phone and began googling it.

“See,” I said, “here I am hard up and ready to do you, and you’re on your tum, nude, fingering yourself to images on your phone.  I told you you’d pass me up for the next most intelligent thing.”

“Awe, do you have blue-balls?” she asked condescendingly.

“Yes!”

“Then get behind me and deep blue me!”

“Say please.”

“Now, after I complimented you, you’re full of yourself.”

“Yeah, well, soon you’ll be full of me too.  But you have to ask for it.”

“Please fuck me.  Please fuck my pussy.  Please fuck my cunt.  Please fuck my quim.”

“That’s better,” I said as I slid into her cum-filled hole.  I added, “I guess it’s not really a quim.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Not snug at all.”

“That’s not what Robert said.”

“What did Robert say?”

“Fuck me harder and I’ll tell you.”

“Ask nicely.”

“Please fuck me harder,” she requested politely.

I pushed in further, and when I pulled back, I heard a slurping sound from her supple snatch.

“That’s it,” she said, moaning.  “Robert said I have a sweet, cozy cunt.”

“Lo,” I said, “you are our sweet honeypot.”

“He deposited his nectar in the hive.  Will you?”

The thought of her and Robert flooded my mind and soon I flooded her with a load of my own.

“What happened to long and loud, Daddio?”

“Sorry, but the idea of Robert filling you up put me over the edge.”

“You’re such a fucking philosopher, cumming to the idea.”

After I pulled out, she reached down and spooned up some spunk with her fingers and licked it.

“You’re damn lucky,” she said, “that not only am I easy to please, I’m also eager to please.”

She put the Hitachi between her legs and went to work on herself.

“I have a little bad news for you.”

“What’s that, Daddio,” she asked as if from afar, dwelling in her dreamy state of bliss.

“Robert confided in me that he intends to propose to Linda.”

“What?!” asked Lo as she sat up rapidly, dropping the Hitachi and gushed from between her legs onto the bedspread.

“Yep.  He told me as he was leaving.  But it’s a secret right now.”

“That bastard!”

“I guess your cunt was just a temporary salve.”

“A what?!  My cunt is the cause of his convalescence.  Do you think he’d have the confidence to propose to her if he wasn’t fucking me?  Just a year ago or so he was suffering from crippling insecurity and erectile dysfunction.”

“Just remember, he told me in confidence that he plans on proposing to her.  It’s just between us.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t blow anything.”

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about.”

 

Hallmark of a Happy Hotwife

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Lola helps her bf cum

Writing is a solitary act.  Writing a sex blog is not.  Almost by definition, writing a sex blog is an invitation for strangers to enter your bedroom and allow them easy access to, well, to your deepest, darkest, most mysterious parts of yourself.

“Are there pictures of you on your blog?” asked one fella who apparently got Lo’s email, but had not explored the website for himself yet.

Lo’s sarcastic and salacious response was, “Is there water in the ocean?  Only one way to find out – dive in and get wet!”

After a couple sent us a photo of the two of them making love while simultaneously looking at Lo’s photos on the computer, she turned to me and said, “I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic.  I love helping couples cum together.”

My Friend from NJ enjoying the stories about me.

A different fella sent Lo some sexy photos of himself hard for her and asked for some in return.

“If you keep it up, I promise you’ll get more,” she said, never shy of telling men to keep it up.

“What’s your name?” asked Lo of one admirer.

“Justin.”

“Oh, my man was ‘just in’ me!”

Her dad jokes are equal to her daddy issues.

“How are your book sales doing?” inquired a reader.

“Well, we have 5 books out. They sell fairly regularly, like 3-4 a week. The e-books do better – probably because a lot of married men don’t want some smut to show up on their doorstep for their wives to find. That’s my job.”

“What is?”

“To be some slut who shows up on their doorstep for their wives to find.”

“Which do you recommend, the e-book or the hard-copy?”

“I recommend you get it hard.”

“Do you like to get tribute pics?” asked one guy.

“Cum to me – big, small, sissy, straight – I like it all!”

One guy sent Lo a pic of himself getting off to her photos while his wife was sleeping naked in the bed next to him.  She turned to me and said, “I love being the goto girl for married men.  The only thing hotter than that is being the goto mutual masturbation material for couples.”

One morning, before Christmas, she posted a bunch of photos of her in a red dress, exposing her naked crotch.

“What are you up to?” I asked her naively.

“I’m just spreading the cheer,” she answered as she showed me the computer screen filled with her pussy pics.

“Do men just want to see your pussy?”

“No,” she said, “women do too.”

“I mean, are people only interested in that one part?”

She shot back, “They say that the whole is greater than the parts, but my hole isn’t greater than all my parts.”

“Let’s play a game,” I suggested.

“Oooo, what sort of game?”

“You spread your legs and I’ll pretend to be NASA and I’ll be the first to get a photograph of a black hole.”

“Funny, but no.  Instead of photographing me, why don’t you bend me over the bed and fuck me?”

“I can’t, I have to get to work.”

“Just bend me over and fill me up.”

“It’s not a Quickie Mart.  I’m not just gonna fill ’er up and grab a coffee.”

“Why not?”

I walked over to her.  She swung her legs over the side of the bed and spread them far apart.  I touched her inner thigh.

“Are you mad at me, Daddy?” she asked in her little girl tone of voice, looking up at me.

“I want you to do what makes you happy.”

“Then I should be doing you.  I wanted you last night,” she said.

“Yeah, well you didn’t say so.”

“You couldn’t tell from how I was stroking your cock?”

“You didn’t say you wanted me.”

“I didn’t know I had to use a magic formula, like ‘Open Sesame.’”

“I like to hear you say it.”

She grabbed my cock over my slacks as I stood at the side of the bed.  She used her other hand to spread her pussy lips.  “Get back in bed.”

“Why?”

“Cause I said so.”

“Why?”

“Cause.”

“What do you want?”

“Get back in bed and I’ll show you.”

I climbed back into the bed, still in my suit.  “OK.”

She fondled me more.  “Don’t you want me, Daddy?”

“I want to hear you articulate your needs.”

“Fuck me.”

Though it was a command and not a request, nonetheless, I pulled down my pants and got between her legs and said, “Open says me.”

“Oh, Daddy, you don’t have to say any magic formula for me.  I’m always open.”

After she came, I got out of bed.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“I have a lot of things to do.  You were just first on the list.”

I went to work.  It was her “work at home” day.  Yeah, right.

When I returned, a little after one, for lunch, I found her in the same position I had left her: on the bed, computer open, legs open, fingers between her legs.

“I’m ready for lunch, Daddy,” she said.  “Feed me.”

“What do you want?”

“Your meat.”

This was as close as a request as I was going to get.  I got out of my suit this time and into bed next to her.  I reached down between her legs.

“You’re sopping wet.”

“Maybe it’s because of my multiple orgasms.”

“What multiple orgasms?” I feigned shock.

“I jilled it this morning.”

“Without me?!”  Again, faux-surprise.

“I got lonely.”

“Lonely or horny?”

“Both.”

“So you jilled it all morning?”

“Not all morning.  It went into the afternoon.”

“And you still want me now?”

“Do you want me?” she asked, back to playing coy.

“Why don’t you just come out and ask for what you want?” I asked in exasperation.

“It’s as obvious as 2+2=4!”

“Then why don’t you just say ‘four’?”

“What do you think this is, golf?”

“I’m hoping for a hole in one.”

“Two in one hole would be better,” she said.

I was poised to penetrate her.  She licked her fingers and put them down below to wriggle herself a bit.  She moaned, “Oh yeah, that feels good.”  Then, a little later, she moaned again, “I like that.  Yes.”  Followed by, “Mmmmm, deeper.”

I said to her, “Lo, I’m not even in you.  I’m patiently waiting my turn to enter.”

“Just a little while longer,” she whispered, enchanted by her own ability to make love to herself.

After she came, I got out of bed.

“Where are you going?”

“To eat my lunch.  That’s what I came home to do.”

“But what about me?” she whined.

“Darling, I’ve been at work while you’ve been home just sitting here twiddling your thumbs.”

“And diddling my bean!”

“Well, don’t let me interrupt your obviously packed calendar.”

“Don’t go!” she pleaded.

“If you want something, you need to learn to ask.”

“Get in the bed and fuck me.”

“See, you sound like a drill sergeant barking orders at privates.”

“I’ll bark at your privates alright.”

“That’s it, I’m going,” I said, actually pissed at her.

“Oh, don’t be mad Daddy.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to fight.”

“We’re not fighting.”

“We’re not?” she asked.

“No,” I said, “The friction point between your feelings and mine – that’s called a relationship.”

“Well, come over here and let me grease up that friction point.”

I returned to the bed and this time her hands were between her legs, but not to frig herself, but to pull her pussy lips apart, opening her doors wide to accept my piston.

I slid in with a slurping sound and she whispered, “It’s a well-oiled machine.”

It was so well lubricated that I unthinkingly commented, “It’s lost in there like a needle in a haystack!”

“Is it my fault that you’re like a needle?”

“That’s it,” I said, pulling out.  “I’m going to go out for lunch.”

I walked out of the room and she threw a pillow at the door.

I popped back in and looked at her.

“Unarmed?” I asked.

Another pillow flew at me.  I quickly shut the bedroom door, blocking her attempt.

Opening the door again, I asked, “So, do you want me?”

“Well, on the one hand, I do, but on the other hand, I’m still mad at you.”

“Which hand wants me? – use that one. . . on yourself.”

I left and she yelled out, “Fuck you!”

When I got home later that day, I found dinner on the table and Lola running up to me at the door, giving me a big, wet kiss on the lips.

I pulled back a little and looked at her in the skimpy outfit she was wearing.

“That’s a beautiful, sexy sundress,” I remarked.

“It’s not a sundress.  It’s a shirt.”

“Well, it should be a sundress.  What an ass!  You look great in that sundress!”

“It’s not a sundress!”

“Let me take a picture of you.”

“No.  But I think it’s cute that you want to.”

“You look so good.  Let me take a few pics. . . for posterity’s sake.”

When I said that, she turned around, bent over, and proudly displayed to me her posterity.

“Lo,” I said, “I think I’m allergic to you.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because every time I get near your naked body my penis swells up.  Why don’t we skip dinner and get right to dessert?”

“Oh, Daddy, this isn’t for you,” she said apologetically.

“What?”

“No, I’m expecting Robert for dinner.”

“Robert?!  Seriously?”

“I’m sorry, Daddy.  I should have told you.”

“When did these plans happen?”

“Well. . . um,” she was stalling.

“Lo.”

“After you left.  I was mad at you, so I called him and invited him over for dinner.”

“Looks like you’re expecting him to eat more than the chicken breast you made,” I said, looking again at the sexy little number she was wearing.

“Would you like a plate?” she asked, offering a consolation prize.

“No,” I said.  “I’m tired and I’m hungry.  I’d like to change out of my suit, sit at the table, and be waited on hand-and-foot.”

“That still might happen,” she said.  “The night is young.”

“And I’m old.”

“You can say that again.”

“And I’m old.”

“I wish I could turn back time to when you were in your thirties.”

“You weren’t even born then.”

“But Daddy,” she said, pressing her tits up against my chest, “I’ll save my sinning for you.  I’ll be a good girl, but I’ll be ready to be bad with you.  You’re my sexual rebellion, my slut revolution, my love liberation.”

I looked longingly at the warm meal, meticulously laid out on the table.

Lo turned my head so I was looking back at her.

“I liked the picture you texted me,” I said, referring to a naughty text she had sent me while I was at work.

“Did you jack off to it at work?”

“No!”

“Well why not?  You weren’t the only one I sent it to, you know.  A lot of other guys did jack off to it at work.  I’m beginning to think you don’t love me as much as they do.”

“Because I don’t jack off to you at work?”

“Precisely.”

“But I can fuck you at home.”

“It’s not the same.”

Just then the doorbell rang.  Robert was at the door.

“Can we continue this conversation later, Daddy?” she asked.

“Where would you like me to go while you and your date have dinner?” I asked, defeated.

“Why don’t you get yourself a nice meal at your favorite restaurant and I’ll call you when we’re done?”

“Not longer than an hour?”

“Definitely not longer than two, promise.”

I let Robert in and, after a brief hello, I said I was just on my way out.  “Enjoy your meal,” I said very sarcastically.

Two and a half hours, one meal, two beers, and an old fashioned later, my phone finally signaled a text from Lo: “Cum to me.”

I walked in and found her naked sitting at the dining room table.  No Robert.

She was looking at her computer and showed me some photos.

One guy typed, “Got any more naughty pics?”

“If that’s not enough for you, then just google ‘mysexlifewithlola.’  You’ll get more pics than you can shake a stick at.”

“That’s funny,” she said to me.

“Shake a stick at?”

“Yeah.”

“Very droll, dear,” I said as I stood next to her.  “How was your dinner date?”

She didn’t answer my question.  She just undid the button of my pants and slithered me out of them.

She sat me down in the chair and positioned her body over me.  She clearly wanted me to fuck her.  But I wanted her to ask.  She said, “You have to learn to intuit.  Intuit!  Intuit!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get into it!” I said as she spread her legs over my lap and pressed her tits into my face.  Cum, Robert’s cum, slowly slid out of her spread pussy lips and dripped onto my hard cock.

She lowered herself down on me and I entered her slowly, like the filter of a French Press plunging intently into the warm, wet cannister.

A breathy moan.

She kissed me and after, she lifted herself up, turned around, and slid down, her back toward me.

She began typing on her computer as she rhythmically rode my pole.

“Lo, are you ever going to get off that machine?”
“I told you, Daddy, it’s my work from home day.”

“Well, I think you need to take a break.”

“I’ll get off of it, just as soon as I get off from it.”

“Can’t I get you off, vaginally, not virtually, you know, like in the old days?”

“It enhances the experience.”

I looked over her shoulder and saw that she sent to a guy a photo of herself with a little space for a caption to be written about her.

She typed, “Why don’t you fill in the blank.”

“I thought that was my job,” I said, meaning both filling up her cunt and my job as a writer.

She noticed my presence again when I said that and she let me look over her shoulder as she clicked on a picture of a guy holding up his phone with Lo’s photo on it while he fucked his wife.  “I love that he’s is thinking of me while he is fucking her.”

“Such a sincere sentiment.  It should go in a Hallmark card.”

“That’s brilliant!” she shouted, turning around to look at me.

“What is?”

“A line of Lola greeting cards.”

“Perhaps you could create them.  I think you could use another hobby to focus all your creative juices.”

And at that, she lifted up just enough to release her climactic juices on me.

“I’m so sorry, Daddy!”

“It’s quite alright.  Maybe one of these days we’ll get around to my orgasm.  Or should I just go on-line and pose as one of your admirers?”

“I’m sorry!” she said again.

“It’s ok.  I guess women can also have premature ejaculation.”

“It was hardly premature,” she said.

She began stroking my cock, now extremely lubricated by her and Robert’s emollient, as she told me that Robert went at her like never before.  Her theory was that he liked being waited on hand-and-foot.

“And how was your dinner, Daddy,” she asked, as she continued to jack me off.

I couldn’t answer.  I was too busy imagining her with Robert.

“Did you get a good meal?  Did it fill you up?  I was so full up,” she said.

I was speechless.

“Were you thinking of me, Daddy?  Did you think about how he got his rocks off to me?  Did you think about how we fucked in the dining room, right here, where you are now?”

“Did you show him your internet admirers too?”

“No, Daddy.  We just fucked.  He bent me over the table and fucked me.  Then he turned me over and spread my legs and fucked me as I sat on the edge of the table.  The windows were open and he fucked me hard as I screamed at the top of my lungs.  I’m sure the neighbors saw, or at least heard it all.  Then he grabbed my ankles and lifted them up high and pulled out of my pussy and slid into my ass.  Back and forth, back and forth he went, filling one hole and then another.  He asked where I wanted him to cum and I didn’t care.  I told him I didn’t want him to cum yet.  Fuck me!  Fuck my holes!  I said, but he came and came deep in me.  He collapsed on the chair where you’re sitting now and I slid off the table and got on my knees, like I am now, and covered his cock with my mouth to lick him clean until he couldn’t handle it anymore.  Then he put his clothes on and left, leaving me naked at the table.”

She saw that I was finally ready to explode and she dropped her dirty mouth down on to my dick, just like she described with Robert, and coaxed me to cum.  And cum I did, forcefully and voluminously.  So much that it came out of her nose.  She was a hot mess, literally, when I was done.

“There you go,” I said, “the hallmark of a happy hotwife.”  I chuckled to myself when I reflected that the original meaning of “hallmark” was “a sign of purity.”

Lola’s Christmas Card