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Protected: V-Day is Cumming
Protected: Later That Night
Protected: Transforming Lola into Art
Protected: Bambi Brings It On
Protected: A Few Tricks, A Little Treat – Andrew and Jane at it Again!
Op-Ed from the Politico-Parody Press
3
Breaking News: Sanna Marin, the thirty-six year old, female, Finnish prime minister had fun!
Prime Minister of Finland Sanna Marin
Yes, there is evidence and she has even confessed to it publicly. At a news conference, she admitted to being “boisterous” with her friends at a party. Subsequently, a photo of two women, kissing, and revealing their breasts, though covered by a sign that said “Finland,” appeared on the TikTok of Sabina Särkkä, a thirty-three year old “influencer” and friend of the Finnish prime minister. She was one of the two women engaged in the now infamous kiss/flash, though Sanna Marin was not the unknown second woman.
This appalling, immoral scandal raises serious political questions, not only for Finland, but for us all across the globe. If women must be politicians and national leaders, where are the respectable, upright, joyless, sexless prime ministers such as Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, and Golda Meir? They didn’t party. They didn’t dance. And they certainly didn’t pose for an official photoshoot in just a pantsuit and jacket, no bra, with a neckline that goes down to the navel!
Do you see cleavage on Sanna Marin?
Ever since the United States Food and Drug Administration approved contraceptive pills, or “the Pill,” in 1960, it would seem that women were given license to enjoy sex without consequences, that is, to be licentious. Historically, for millennia, that right was the exclusive province of men. And so, in the face of such unabashed enjoyment by the female sex – that has had many other culture-controverting effects such as women in the workplace, in the armed forces, and even in politics! – it is entirely appropriate to censure Sanna Marin for her public display of enjoyment, even if she was enjoying in private.
Finnish Prime Minister Sanna Marin visits the Rogue’s Gallery, before a portrait of the author, HH.
Women enjoy dancing, singing, and displaying their breasts has the desultory implication that they may also enjoy sex. This cannot be! Such heresy to the patriarchal hierarchy that has existed since the dawn of civilization must be excoriated from our society. To that end, we are beginning to see the pendulum shift in the other direction. In America, the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization has put an end to the formerly constitutionally protected right for a woman to obtain an abortion. There are many new laws that have either been passed or at least proposed to make it illegal to purchase, sell, or mail contraceptives and/or “abortion pills.” A few states are making it illegal for parents of so-called “transgender” youth to seek gender reassignment surgery and/or for doctors to perform it. States such as Texas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Utah, and Florida have passed or proposed laws censoring books deemed “sexually explicit,” “obscene materials,” “sensitive materials,” and “pornography.”
To this end, America should reinstate the Comstock Act, criminalizing using the U.S. Postal Service to mail any obscenity, contraceptives, abortifacients, or sex toys and authorizes the postal service to confiscate birth control sold through the mail. That will teach women that sex is not something to be enjoyed!
Is it really surprising that Sanna Marin has exhibit such behavior? After all, she is a woman who is the product of divorce and was raised by two women in a loving relationship. Perhaps it is due to this lesbian influence that Marin was recently spotted at a preview for the scandalous art exhibit, the Rogue’s Gallery, featuring the notorious nymphomaniac and porno-star, Lola Down. If ever a woman took pleasure, delight, and enjoyment in the act of sex – whether between her and a man, her and many men, her and a woman, her and many women, her and women and men, or with herself (most often) – it is Lola Down. The whole exhibit should be shut down and confiscated as deplorable depictions of degenerate art! Most damning of all, Sanna Marin is reputed to have said about the Rogue’s Gallery that it was “stimulating to both mind and body.”
Need I say more?
Prime Minister of Finland visits a preview of the Rogue’s Gallery and admires the paintings and drawings depicting Lola Down
Anti-Lola protester
Pro-Lo supporter of sex for women
A Chance Encounter with a Unicorn
[Guest Post by Lola’s new friends – SnowCplCo]
SnowCpleCo
We were driving across the country for the holidays and, as dusk was descending and T was growing tired, we pulled into the first motel on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere that we found. I was walking the two dogs, who were eager to get out after so long in the back seat, while hubby was unloading bags. The dogs suddenly stopped and directed my attention toward an attractive brunette walking in a short black dress and turquoise heels. Mysteriously, the dogs were as captivated by her as I was. This petite, yet confident “girl next door” walked up to me and asked if it was ok to pet the dogs. Though they were stir-crazy from the drive, they are friendly and I said that they’d love it. She leaned over to pet them and I could see right down the open neckline of her dress. She had nice tits. No bra. Young. Perky. I was getting wet as I stood there, gawking at her. I tried making small talk. She crouched down to continue petting the dogs, as I stood over her. It was impossible to not see down her dress from that angle.
As we were chatting, she saw hubby grab a bottle of bubbly and bourbon from the car. She said “Oh, I’m so ready for glass of wine after driving all day.”
I responded, “Wine time never comes quick enough on road trips.” We kept talking for a bit and she asked if we would mind if she joined us for a glass because she hadn’t talked to anyone all day. I said, “Sure, but it has to be in our room due to the dogs.”
She was game and we made our introductions. She introduced herself as Lola. We agreed to meet about an hour later. I told hubby when I got back to the room and he said, “There goes our playtime then.” He had been horny and wanting me the entire drive.
I responded with, “She’s not going to be here all night. We’ll still get to play. Promise.”
Lola came over and we sat around the small room and chatted with the conversation going all over the place. A few glasses into it, she said that she better get back to her room. It was clear she was merely being polite. To my surprise and arousing a bit of jealousy that I didn’t even know I had, hubby asked her to stay for one more glass. She agreed, but said, “Before I have any more, I have a little work to do. Do you mind if I go grab my laptop?”
“Not at all,” said T.
A minute later she popped back into our room and sat at the tiny desk.
“What kinda work are you doing?” asked T.
“Just updating our blog.”
Hubby, trying desperately to turn the friendly chatter into a sexy seduction, said in a joking way, “What, like your OnlyFans page?”
She looked over at him, smirking, and said “Something like that.”
Hubby said back to Lola, “I bet a pretty, young, flirtatious girl like you makes a thousand dollars a day on the internet.”
“Hardly,” laughed Lola. “I do it just for fun, actually.”
“Wait,” I said, “you mean he’s right?! You do have an OnlyFans page?”
Lo laughed even more and said, “Well, no, not OnlyFans. Just a sex blog that my man and I run.”
“Oh!” said hubby, “I can’t believe it! I’ve been waiting all day to get to work on content with her for ours page!”
Lola looked very surprised and said “Really! You two don’t seem like the type!”
“I could say the same about you,” I said.
We talked a little more about it before I suggested, “I’ll show you my page if you show me yours?”
That was all it took for T. He had his laptop out so quick! We looked at each other’s pages and hers was incredible! We go by Snow CoupleCO and she seemed to like what she saw of us too. I then asked if she wanted help making content and winked at hubby. She paused a bit and looked at us. “Really?”
“Yeah, it could be fun.”
“OK, but no photos.” She was concerned about remaining anonymous.
“Deal.”
“I’m going to freshen up,” she said, “It’s been a long drive today.”
“OK. See you back here soon.” I felt butterflies in my stomach, I was so excited. While she was out showering and, I think, shaving herself smooth, I took a quick shower as well. When I came out, I found hubby jacking off to Lo’s photos. I snapped a couple of pics but told him, “Keep it hard, Mr. Roadtrip McLovin!”
Mr. T – Roadtrip McLovin
When Lola came back, gone was the girl next door and here stood a pro porn star! You would never recognize her. “You really are ‘the nympho next door!’” I said.
Lo was wearing a sheer white top that reminded me of boudoir wedding photos I had seen once. But adorning her neck was a black leather collar, like a dog’s collar, that said “SLUT” in diamond studs. She wore a short black skirt that barely covered the bottom of her ass and black leather boots to match.
Lo Looking Like a Slutty Bride
“Before we get to playing, there’s a dive bar attached to this rundown motel. How about the three of us go in there and see what happens?”
I was very game, but I had a better idea in mind.
“I just caught my husband masturbating to your photos,” I said. A sparkle of vanity flashed in Lo’s eyes as she looked first at my hubby’s face and then at his crotch. “He must be hard-up for you,” I continued. Lo’s tongue ran across her teeth as she looked desirously at him. “Do you think you could help him out before we go there?”
“Help him out, how?” she asked.
“Get on your knees,” I commanded.
She obeyed immediately. I reached over and pulled out T’s bulging hard cock from his pants. I held it in my hand. “There you go, hun,” I said to him. “Do it. Cum on her face.”
He took control of his cock and stroked fast. He looked at me, looked at Lo longing for his dick in her mouth. He looked at me again. He looked down at Lo and came on her face. It was the fastest I’ve seen him cum in ages!
Lo’s cheeks and chin were dripping with his cum. I had to hold the dogs back to keep them from licking her clean.
“OK, now we can go.”
“You want me to go like this?”
“Exactly.”
“OK, but let’s make it more interesting. My man and I play a little game like this a lot. You walk in first. Then I’ll walk in and join you. T walks in last and has to sit away from us. Let’s see who has the courage to pick us up.”
I was giddy with excitement.
We walked down the motel line to the bar at the end. It was a sleepy little bar in the middle of nowhere that mostly accommodated travelers and lonely locals.
Lo walked in first looking like a used prostitute. I followed, looking like a lonely housewife desperate for action. I wore my tight jeans shorts, cowboy boots, and a blouse unbuttoned nearly to my navel. No bra.
The few folks inside noticed our appearance right away. I ordered a beer across the bar from Lola, who had ordered some sort of cocktail.
I then made my way over to her and pretended like we were meeting for the first time – which we had, only about two hours earlier.
A couple of middle-aged guys approached us and I noticed my husband walk into the bar. No one else, except maybe Lola, noticed him.
Both the guys who were talking to us had wedding bands on.
Eventually, in the dimness of the bar, one of the guys noticed the sheen on Lo’s face from my husband’s cum.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Beauty cream,” she said with a smile.
I leaned in and licked it, seductively, off of her face before making out with her.
The two guys were excited beyond belief. I reached back with one hand and grabbed the cock of the guy sitting next to me.
Suddenly the grumpy old bartender told us to take it outside. This wasn’t a brothel!
“You want to join us?” I asked the men.
They sure did!
Lo and I walked with them back to the room and the four of us went in.
It was really crowded in there now with the two dogs.
Lo and I stripped each other and started making out on the bed as the guys watched.
“Aren’t you going to join us?” asked Lo in a little girl sort of voice.
They guys began taking their clothes off, embarrassed to be seeing each other naked.
Just as they were about to approach us on the bed, T barged into the room and, in a performance worthy of an Oscar, he yelled, “What the hell are you doing?!”
The guys were shocked and quickly scrambled to put on their clothes. In their haste, I think they might have even put on the other’s clothes by accident.
They got out of the room quick and we all had a laugh.
Lo began to work my clit ring and lips while sliding her tongue in and out. I then felt her fingers entering me. She had the perfect rhythm and I really began getting wet, feeling my juices drip down my ass. Lola raised up my hips, smiled, and slid a finger in my ass. I moaned, looking over at hubby, who now had his cock in his hand. He was moderately hard, since he had cum so recently. I grabbed Lo’s hips and slid her up to my face. Instantly, she began grinding on my tongue.
We played pretty hard for a while before she whispered, “Can we invite your hubby?” Of course, I wasn’t going to say no. So she lifted up her her face and, dripping with my cum now, told him, “Take the rest of your clothes off and get over here.” We both went down on him while he was trying to keep the dogs off of us. We took turns playing with him as he went from my ass to Lola’s mouth and back again and again. Eventually, when Lola convinced me to do the same, he came, shooting a huge load in her ass before I cleaned him off with my mouth. He poured us drinks and we laid on the bed with her in the middle petting each other.
Lo stood up and cum dripped down her inner thigh onto the cheap motel room carpeting. She grabbed a glass of the bubbly to quench her thirst and picked up her clothes.
“I’ll let you two get some good sleep tonight. Thanks for a fun time,” she said as she walked out into the parking lot stark naked. We watched her saunter to her room and disappear inside.
I’m not sure if I was dreaming or not, but a few hours later I woke to the blood curdling sounds of what sounded like a murder, but, after close listening for a few moments, I realized, it was Lo’s screaming orgasm.
The next morning she continued on the road east as we continued west. When we got home, first thing we did was order a copy of Match, Cinder & Spark. We now get off to it nightly, fondly remembering our time with Lola Down – just your average nympho next door.
Snow getting off to Match, Cinder & Spark
Snow Getting off to Match, Cinder & Spark
Snow Getting off to Match, Cinder & Spark
Snow Getting off to Match, Cinder & Spark
Snow Getting off to Match, Cinder & Spark
Snow Getting off to Match, Cinder & Spark
an extra bonus Christmas gift from Snow
“J.O.I. de Vivre”
Uh Oh, someone got busted looking at Lo’s tits while working from home!
For those few of you who might not know, “J.O.I.” stands for “Jerk Off Instructions.” It’s a rather popular form of porn that has been part of intimate bedroom play for as long as there have been masturbators and those who love to instruct them. Lola has engaged in this special type of kink for a long time now – telling her friends and fans exactly how she wants them to cum to her, remotely or in person. During the COVID lockdown, this became one of her favorite ways of getting herself off safely.
You also may recall our newlywed couple, Jane and Andrew, who discovered each other’s kinks on their wedding night. Turns out Jane’s kink was reading Match, Cinder & Spark while denying Andrew and Andrew’s kink was wearing women’s lingerie while being denied by his bride.
I’m happy to report that they found a way for them both to get off, using the tertium quid of Lola.
“Lola, Andrew has two work-from-home days next week. Please tell us instructions for his torment,” wrote Jane.
“When he works from home, is he on Zoom?”
“Yes.”
“Well then, he should only be dressed from his waist up. You should hang my photos all over the house. Whenever he gets up – to get a coffee, to eat lunch – and walks past my photo, he must stroke until he is good and hard. But he may not cum. Take photos of it.”
“Excellent. And on the second day?”
“On the second day, same, but at the end of the day you will stroke his hard cock to my photos and this time he is allowed to cum, but only by means of your touch.”
“Thank you, Lola! You have no idea what this means to us!!!”
Lola sent them select photos for them to print out and frame. Here are the results.
You should try this at home too and send Lo the results!
Baad Kiity!
[WARNING: This post contains magical realism!]
Baad Kiity plays with her pussy while reading about Lola Down
It was a beautiful sunny summer morning. Lola and I stepped out to go for a Sunday stroll when, out of nowhere, a black cat strutted down the street, right up to Lola’s feet, laid on its back, and practically demanded that Lola pet its belly.
Lola “pets the cat”
“You know that cat?” I asked, surprised by the forwardness of this feline.
“No,” said Lola as she crouched down to indulge the cat’s demand.
“Then why are you petting it?”
“A neglected pussy is a sad pussy,” she said. She has a way with pithy phrases. “Can we keep her?”
“What? No. That’s a feral cat. Who knows where it’s been? Who knows what diseases it carries?”
“Awe, come on Daddio. Please.”
“No. It’s an outdoor cat and outdoor cats belong outdoors.”
“I want to make her an indoor cat.”
“You can’t make an outdoor cat an indoor cat.”
“Yes you can, people do it all the time.”
“But why would you?”
“You know that being an outdoor cat takes like seven years off the cat’s life.”
“I’d much rather be an outdoor cat, free, than stuck inside, lying around all day, looking out the windows longingly.”
“You’d love to be an indoor cat and just lie around all day.”
“I couldn’t type with paws.”
“You’d have a little cat book you would read.”
“Well, maybe if it had pictures of pussies.”
Lola laughed at my one-track mind and she eventually got up and we left the cat to go for our walk. We really thought nothing more of it.
Along our saunter through the sanguine streets of our neighborhood, we ran into a neighbor who made polite conversation with us. At one point he turned to Lola and asked if she was still working from home. Lola replied in the affirmative and proceeded to tell the neighbor about her routine.
“I wake up, pet the cat, have some coffee and then hop on Zoom. I often try to interrupt the monotony throughout the day. It’s far too easy to work straight through, so I put on my schedule a number of breaks for me to get off. Pet the cat, take care of business, get all the tension out through a hysterical paroxysm.”
As we walked away from the confused interlocutor, I said to Lola, “Well, that was a new one.”
“What? I’ve been saying hysterical paroxysm for years. It’s an old-timey expression that not too many people know the meaning of.”
“I didn’t mean that, though he certainly either was ignorant of it or thought you must have made a malapropism. I meant, ‘pet the cat.’”
“Oh, well, our little encounter made me think of that.”
“He knows we don’t have a cat.”
“Does he? Well, I can pet the cat anyway. I just did this morning.”
Now I was confused. Did she mean she masturbated this morning or that she pet the stray cat we met this morning? Probably both. I let it drop.
When we got home, Lola hopped into bed and slid her panties down to her ankles and then over her feet and then to her toes before finally discarding them altogether. “Fuck me Daddy,” she said, spreading her legs wide and lifting her skirt. She smacked her pussy lips.
Lo “pets the cat”
“Not now, Darling,” I said, “later.”
“Why not now and later?”
“Why don’t you amuse yourself. Pet the cat,” I said. “I’m going to read for a bit.”
Imposters
I sat down in the cool living room, the windows open and a gentle cross-breeze blowing through the room. It was delightful. I got through about a page of the book by Joanna Bourke I had recently purchased when I heard Lo calling out from the bedroom, “Bad kitty! Bad Kitty!” as she slapped her pussy harder and harder. I could hear the wetness between her legs splashing with each slap of her open palm. “Baad Kiity!” she moaned.
Baad Kiity
Suddenly, out of nowhere, on the bed, was the black cat we had seen earlier.
“What the fuck?!” cried Lo in astonishment.
Baad Kiity
Lo was in a uniquely vulnerable position and the feline was staring down her juicy crotch. It peered up over her mons pubis and looked with its cat’s eyes at Lo. It took two steps forward and Lo prepared herself for a full-frontal attack when suddenly the cat transmogrified into what appeared to be a sexy Cat Woman. She wore a black leather mask with little cat ears and a matching red bra and panties.
Baad Kiity Clitty
“Who are you?” asked Lola in astonishment.
“I’m your Baad Kiity,” she said.
“Where did you come from?”
“I was by your front door this morning. I’ve heard your howls in the night, in the day, basically all around the clock and I finally found you. You spoke my magic name and here I am to lick your little clitty like I lap up a bowl of milk.”
Lola spread her legs and let Baad Kiity have at it. She was instantly transported into another realm.
A few orgasms later and Lo, panting, struggling to stabilize her breath, asked, “Can I do anything for you?”
“Well, there is one thing I would like,” said Baad Kiity, licking Lo’s juices from her hands as if they were paws.
“Anything,” said Lo.
“Where I come from, I must content myself merely with my imagination.”
“Where do you come from?”
“That is not important. What is important is I would very much like to have one of your books to amuse me when I play with my own Baad Kiity.”
“Which one?”
“Volume V: Shorter Shorts, please.”
Lo grabbed her copy from the shelf and gave it to the mysterious feline avatar.
“Thank you, Lo. One sex superhero to another, I’m a big fan.”
And with that, the dark, stealthy, and sleek visitor sauntered out the bedroom, out the front door, and down the shadow-covered street, wearing merely a black bra, panties, and her black leather cat mask. She carried the book with her.
Lo came from the bedroom, stark naked, and said, “Did you see that?!”
“I did,” I said, putting my book down. “I think it may be best if we don’t talk of this to anyone.”
“Agreed,” said Lo.
[For more of the very fine, very feline Baad Kiity, check out her OnlyFans page here and here.]
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