Feedie for a Night

A.I. Lola

“Daddy,” said Lo one morning as I was tying my tie and just about ready to leave for work.

“Yes?”

“Am I free this Friday?”

“Lo, you are always free.  Free and easy.”

“I mean, do we have any plans?”

“Not that I know of.  Why?”

“I have an admirer.”

“You have many admirers, Lo, and I’m your biggest admirer.”

“Depends on your metric for size,” she said.

“What does that mean?”

“You know that I’ve had bigger, right?”

“I wasn’t speaking of my anatomy,” I said.  “I have to go.”

“But Daddy,” she pouted, “I didn’t tell you about Friday yet.”

“Out with it.”

“So bossy.  I like it.  Rrrrrrrrrr.”  She rolled her ‘R’ with her tongue to make a revving sound.

“What is Friday?”

“Well, it seems that your story, ‘A Linguistically Mysterious Voyage into the Unknown’ got the attention of one of my fans.”

“Probably many fans.”

“And this particular fan wants to take me out.”

“On a date?”

“Yes, on a date.”

“Did you vet him first?”

“I did.”

“And?”

“Well, he’s not exactly my type.”

“Lo, everyone who is into you is your type.”

“That’s just what I mean.”

“What?”

“I’m not sure he can get into me.”

“I’m sorry, you lost me.”

“He is morbidly obese and, to make matters worse, he has a tiny penis.”

“You really performed quite the thorough vetting process.”

“Proper research is a must.”

“But you still want to go out with him?”

“He read that story and he said that he has a fetish for feedies.”

“Oh, he’s a chubby chaser.”

“He read about you calling me fat.”

“Is that ‘phat’ with a ‘p-h’ or ‘fat’ with an ‘f’?”

“I don’t know.  You wrote it.”

“Just checking.”

“Anyhow, he said he would simply like to get dinner and a movie.”

“He wants to see you eat?”

“Apparently.”

“And how do you feel about it?”

“You know me.”

“Biblically.  But I’m afraid I don’t know what that means in this context.”

“I’m a ‘trysexual.’  I’ll try anything at least once.”

“So you are willing to indulge this guy’s fetish for feeding you?”

“It’s rare I meet a kink I don’t like.”

“Well, suit yourself then.  Just be safe.”

“OK.  Love you!”

“What are you going to do now?”

“Pet the cat.”

“We don’t have a cat.”

“You know what I mean.  Pet.  The.  Cat,” she said as she patted her pussy with her right hand.

“And then what?”

“Feed the kitty.”

“Feed the kitty?”

She grabbed the double-ended dildo out from her nightstand drawer.

Lo and her Toys

“Oh,” I said, comprehending.  “No work today?”

“I have a Zoom meeting in fifteen minutes?”
“Do you have enough time before the meeting to both pet the cat and feed the kitty?”

“Who said I have to get all that done before the meeting?”
“You’re certainly not going to do it during the meeting?”

“Oh, Daddy!  You have such stodgy standards.”

“Well, just don’t become the next female Jeffry Toobin.”

As I was putting on my shoes, I saw her put on a white, business-attire blouse over her bare breasts.  Her breasts could be seen swinging from side-to-side as she moved.  She grabbed her suction-cup dildo and affixed it to the work chair she had in her special home work station, and she slid her naked bottom down onto the dildo while setting up her computer for the Zoom meeting.

“Have a good day at work,” she said over her shoulder.

“Enjoy your meeting,” I replied, closing the door behind me.

Lo looked forward to Friday with much anticipation.  Her chub-chaser admirer, whom we shall call Mr. Biggs, was quite the control freak.  With each passing day he gave Lo ever greater detailed instructions for how she should dress and prepare for their meeting.

All week long, Lola was popping out to the shops to buy this skirt, that top, these heels, those panties, etc.  Each day when she received a different instruction, description of an item, or photo of specific piece, she’d tell or show me, then she’d go on her scavenger hunt to find said object, bring it home, and try it on for me.  I can’t say that I found any of this objectionable, except that she was taking orders from another man.

Each night she would fantasize about her date while riding me.  She’d articulate out loud her vivid imagining of how it would go.  I’ll elide over these various fantasies since frequently I wouldn’t be able to hold out for much longer than, “Then we’d sit down to dinner. . .” before I’d explode inside her and she would have to resort to her Hitachi and her silent imagination to bring herself to a not so silent orgasm.

Finally the Friday date night arrived and Lola put on exactly what Mr. Biggs had ordered – black, patent leather strappy heels, nylon stockings, a short black leather skirt, a white, transparent top, no bra, and a short black leather jacket.  She spent a good amount of time blowing out her silky, shiny black hair, doing her makeup and making sure her manicure and pedicure were perfect.  I was somewhat suspicious of all this preparation.  I mean, she was doing this date as a sort of whimsical frolic – to be another man’s feedie for a night.  But Lo took her role seriously and, no matter the paramour, she aimed to impress.  Was she trying to impress her date, those in the restaurant, or to make me jealous?  She was probably going for all three and I had no doubt she’d succeed.

Lola’s Date Night Outfit, A.I.

Mr. Biggs also aimed to impress.  He spared no expense on his date.  He chose one of the finest restaurants in town – one which had a commanding view of the city’s skyline.  A perk of remaining anonymous as a writer is that when Lo goes on these dates, I am able to keep tabs on her by sitting at the bar without concern that her part-time lover will suspect anything since there is no way I could be recognized as the man on whom Lo is cheating.

I went up the elevator up to the restaurant on the 29th floor first and I walked into the full, but oddly quiet, even staid establishment and took a seat at the bar.  This was an expensive, fancy restaurant where people spoke quietly and politely.  Most of the patrons were over fifty, dressed formally, and not one of them looked like they were having a good time.  It seemed more of a duty or a chore to go through the motions of eating dinner than having a fun night out with one’s partner, or paramour, however the case may be.

I was situated on a stool at the corner of the bar, the better to see wherever my Lo and her date were seated.  I looked around the room and didn’t see Mr. Biggs, whom I would have recognized from his photos that Lo insisted he send prior to agreeing to the date.  He was at least 300 pounds and there was no way he would have simply blended in with the crowd if he was already in the restaurant.  I became worried however, because none of the tables for two were empty or had the little “reserved” card on them.  Where would they sit?  Would I be able to see them?  I saw the elevator doors open and Lola walk up to the hostess, telling her the name for the reservation.

The hostess walked Lola over to a four-top and seated her, saying the rest of her party should be there soon.  Lola looked very much out of place in this stuffy dining room with its fancy China and white linen tablecloths.  Her black leather skirt and matching leather jacket, contrasting with her see-through white t-shirt (no bra), caused her to look like she had walked in from a Harley Davidson biker gang.  I was actually afraid the hostess would turn her away due to the dress code of the joint.  But she didn’t.

Lola sat alone at the table for four.  She was facing me and gave me a little, discrete wink.  I think she was just as confused by the table for four as I was.

Then, all of a sudden, a man shaped like a boulder entered the room.  He was one of the largest humans I had ever set eyes on!  He was dressed nicely – it must have been custom-made clothes – in black pants, a white pressed shirt, and a small blue and pink bow tie.  He wore no jacket over the shirt.  His waste line must have been 60 inches, at least!  He was probably just under six feet tall, with unusually small feet, at least compared with the size of the rest of him.  He looked down at Lola and smiled, politely.  From across the room, I could see that he was sweating on the brow of his bald head.  He sat down.  Now I understood why Lola was seated at a table for four.  He took up nearly the entire side of the table.  He had to move the second chair to the side in order to fit awkwardly.  I thought to myself, how does this guy ever fly on an airplane?  Or any public transport for that matter?  There is not a chair large enough for him!  As it was, I was worried about the structural integrity of the chair he was currently occupying.

A waitress came by and, after a word with Mr. Biggs, she removed the two extra place settings.  She then brought over a bottle of champagne.  At least the guy did his homework and knew Lo’s beverage of choice.  They clinked glasses.  Lola smiled coquettishly at him.  They opened their menus and a brief discussion ensued before he ordered for the two of them.  Lola seemed charmed by him.  Or, at least, she was laying on the charm – smiling seductively with a twinkle in her eye.  She must have found him to be endearing or else she wouldn’t be trying to hard to impress him.

From my vantage point, I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the words hardly mattered.  All the communication was exchanged between glances.  Lo allowed her leather jacket to flap open, revealing her hard nipples through the thin, transparent fabric of her blouse.

Lo, flaunting it. A.I.

The first course was served.  It was a creamy, thick soup.  It was only served to Lo.  Mr. Biggs sipped his champagne and intently watched Lo eat.  She brought the spoon up to her lips and daintily downed the soup.  She could see how enticed Mr. Biggs was by her polite performance and she relished in pushing the envelope.  She took a spoonful of soup and then, after eating it, she licked the spoon with her tongue very erotically.  Mr. Biggs’ eyes opened wide.  I do believe he was salivating at the sight.  I had to remind myself, he’s a feeder.  This is porn to him.

The next course came.  It was arancini balls, with a drizzle of cheese sauce on top.

I didn’t have to hear Lo to be able to read her lovely, lush, red lips saying, “Mmmmm, I love balls.”

Mr. Biggs watched as Lo slowly, indulgently took a bite of each ball from between her index finger and thumb as she used her hands to eat them.  Lo seemed to enjoy putting on the performance.

The third course was the main course – a beautifully creamy beurre blanc sauce over a filet of sole.  I could see by the look on Lo’s face that she was beginning to feel full.  But, nevertheless, she self-sacrificed for her friend’s food fetish fantasy.  Lola ate slowly, “accidentally” (on purpose) dripping a little of the white sauce on her chin.  She had Mr. Biggs eating out of the palm of her hand, even though she was the one doing the eating and mesmerizing him in the process.

She tried to make some small-talk, but he was too enraptured by her ingestion too converse.  Lo gave up on the conversation and continued to seduce by taking satisfaction in the sole.

Mr. Biggs’ abstention from partaking in the meal and his careful observation of Lola didn’t go without notice by the other patrons and the waitress, but that didn’t impinge upon his or Lola’s delight in the scenario.

Lo cleaned her plate, as she felt was the expectation.  This provided a brief interlude before dessert for her to get to know her dinner companion a little better.

“Tell me about you,” said Lo.

“What would you like to know?”

“Well, single, dating, married?”

“Married.”

“Oh, does Mrs. Biggs know you’re on a date with me?”

He chuckled and said, “Absolutely not!”

“Why not?  We’re just having dinner together.  How’s the sex-life?”

“Nonexistent,” he said with a frown.

“Oh no!  Why?”

“Look at me.”

That comment broke Lo’s compassionate heart.

“I’m diabetic, I have high-blood pressure, my circulation is terrible, and, if you haven’t noticed, I’m morbidly obese.”

Lo wanted to say, “And why don’t you have sex?” but she refrained.

“Also,” he continued, “she just gave birth – our first baby – and she’s exhausted, stressed, and has zero libido now.”

“Well, at least you did it once,” said Lo, lighting up.

“It was artificial insemination.”

“No!”  The exclamation escaped Lo’s lips before she knew what she was saying.

“Yes,” he said.  “We just aren’t, well, physically compatible.  I’m over three-hundred pounds and she’s a petite buck-ten.”

“There has to be a way.”

“Nope.  I mean, there was when we first got together.  But then when we wanted to get pregnant, over a year ago, I was already too large for her.  So we got professional help and, actually, that’s how I found you.”

“How’s that?” asked Lo, lighting up now that the topic of conversation had turned towards her.

“I was doing some research on-line about the process and I came across your story, ‘The Master,’ I think it was called.”

“Yeah,” said Lo.  “You came across it?” she asked for clarification.

“Not in that sense.  Well, I mean, later in that sense.”

“Good,” said Lo.

“But I found that story and then I found you and I was like, ‘Wow!  She’s hot!’  And then I saw a post about, what was it? – ‘A Wet Workout and a Wank.’  Was that it?”

“Maybe.”

“Yeah, and you were so sexy in that photo that I knew I had to contact you!”

“I see.”

Just then the waitress brought the dessert for Lola.  But it was also the dessert for Mr. Biggs’ eyes.  They were beaming at the melted chocolate lava cake à la mode that the waitress set between the two of them with two spoons.

“Aren’t you going to have some?” asked Lo, pouting cutely.  She asked not only out of concern for her date, who hadn’t eaten a thing all night, but also because she was beyond full.  She couldn’t imagine eating that entire portion herself!

“Oh no,” he said, “watching you eat is pleasure enough for me.”

Lola wanted this culinary cumfest to be as hot as possible.  She excused herself and went to the bathroom where she removed her t-shirt and returned with only her leather jacket on, unzipped, so that when she moved in just the right way, you could catch a glimpse of her naked breasts.

Flash and feed.

She sat back down at the table, moving in just the right way for Mr. Biggs.

She dug into the lava cake with her spoon and seductively licked the chocolate off of it.  Accidentally, a little of the chocolate lava dripped on her chin.  She went to wipe it off, but he said, “Please – that looks so good.”  Her hand holding the napkin froze midway to her mouth.  She realized that this turned Mr. Biggs on like nothing so far.  Lola put her napkin back on her lap and picked up the spoon.  Slowly, keenly spying Mr. Biggs’ reaction, Lola descended the spoon into the soft cake.  She got a little cake, a little lava, and a little vanilla ice cream on the spoon and raised it to her open mouth where her tongue was prominently placed to receive the helping.  But, at the very last moment as her hand made its slow-motion trajectory toward her parted lips, she diverted the delivery and smeared a large splotch of the sloppy serving around her lips.

Mr. Biggs’ eyes nearly popped right out of his face.  Lola repeated the performance, this time getting it on her chin.

Soon she sat with a goatee of chocolate and vanilla dripping down her neck.

The waitress came over and asked if everything was ok.  Lola looked up at her and smiled, saying, “Just fine.” She caught the waitress gazing down at Lo’s bare chest.

Mr. Biggs, looking to prolong Lola’s humiliation, politely asked for a cup of tea.  Neither Lo nor Mr. Biggs acknowledged the obvious – Lo’s messy mug.  The waitress was confused.  Soon other patrons in the restaurant were staring.  Lo, aware that this was a performance that pleased her paramour, played along, smiling back seductively at the guests who were embarrassed on her behalf.

She continued to smear cake on her face as Mr. Biggs sipped his tea patiently.  Soon it was spread from ear-to-ear.  Mr. Biggs could take no more.  He asked for the check.  He paid and soon the two of them were in the elevator going down.

Lo still wore her dessert on her face and Mr. Biggs said, “May I kiss you?” once the doors of the elevator shut.

“Yes.”

He didn’t so much kiss Lo as greedily lick what he could from her face.  He was in an ecstasy of culinary concupiscent rapture.  As he kissed her face, Lo reached down, under his substantial stomach, and grabbed his crotch.  To her amazement, she felt nothing.  She recalled his comment about high blood pressure.  The elevators arrived at the lobby and the two of them got out.  Both of them had chocolate on their faces now.  They walked through the crowded arcade of shops and restaurants on the ground level until they were in the parking garage.  It was an empty garage and Lola could spot Mr. Biggs’ car right away.  It was the SUV parked in the handicapped spot to the right of the doors.  He clicked the remote and it lit up.  Lola stepped up onto the elevated footstep and hoisted herself in.  Mr. Biggs got into the driver’s side and turned to Lo.  He was breathing heavily.  He continued to kiss her face.

She pulled back.  “You said dinner and a movie.  What movie?”

“Well, we can’t go to my house.  My wife is there.  And I would like to go to a movie with you, but I also want so much more.”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I would love a blowjob.  I haven’t had one in ages.”

Lo unzipped his fly and pulled out the little pud that she found hidden in there.  How could this outsized giant have such a below average cock?

“Do you mind if I watch a movie?” he asked.

Lo’s lips were already wrapped around his pud.  She didn’t reply.  He took out his phone.  He began watching all sorts of BBW (Big Beautiful Women) and SSBBW (Super Sized Big Beautiful Women) porn.  Lo’s thick mane was between Mr. Biggs’ legs as he held his phone on the steering wheel and watched the porn in the largely vacant parking garage.  Every once in a while Lo would come up for air, look at the porn, give him a kiss, and then go back down for more.

This continued for quite a while, until, in fact, Lo’s jaw began to get tired.  And then Lo began to get tired.  She had had a full bottle of champagne all to herself at dinner.  Gradually, Lo’s sucking and bobbing slowed until she was merely lying in Mr. Biggs’ lap, reduced to nothing but a cock-warmer as he continued to gluttonously engorge on porn of large women.

Lo had no idea how much time elapsed as she was snoozing in Mr. Biggs’ lap, but the next thing she remembers was feeling his large hands in her hair, gently pushing her face down on his diminutive dick as his hips pushed up.  Up-and-down, in-and-out, he was manipulating her to face-fuck his cock.  Perhaps he found just the right video to engage his libidinous desires.  Perhaps he needed to cum and wanted to bring the night to its ultimate conclusion.  Maybe he found her unconsciously covering his cock to be a real turn-on.  Who knows?  Lo was roused from her slumbers and, though surprised at first, she eventually engaged enthusiastically in the effort until, with much wheezing, quick thrusts, and a few grunts, Mr. Biggs unloaded into Lo’s mouth as she lapped up every stray drop from his small pud.

Lo sat up, her hair disheveled, her mouth dripping with cum and her face covered still in drying chocolate, and she looked at Mr. Biggs.  He did not look well.  He pulled out an inhaler and took a few quick puffs.  He was perspiring.  Lo actually asked if she should call for help.  He assured her he would be ok.

When he finally caught his breath he looked at the clock and said, “Thanks Lo, but I have to be going.  Will we see each other again?”

“I had a good time.  When would you like to get together?”

Lo actually had no intention of seeing him again, but she is always polite.

“Halloween is coming up in two weeks and I have an invite to a very special party.  Perhaps then?”

“Sure,” said Lo as she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  She popped out of the car and pulled out her phone, texting me.  She knew I wasn’t far.  I told her where I was and soon she was in the car with me and she relayed the blow-by-blow to me as we drove home.

Lola was receiving detailed instructions from her paramour who grew more perverted by the pound.  The special Halloween party, he informed Lo, was to be for kinksters only.  All invitees were expected to arrive in an outfit that would be outlandish and sexy at the same time.

Perhaps this does not come as such a great surprise, but Mr. Biggs, in addition to being a chub chaser, was also a total nerd who had a thing for Star Wars.  As a result, the costume he had fixated on for him and Lo was Jabba the Hutt and Princess Leia respectively.  But there would be an interesting twist on the costume.  Instead of it being a pairing of ginormously fat and rail thin, it was ginormously fat and Lo, in the sex slave outfit, proudly parading her prominently rounded rolls.

Lola was worried about this since she was self-conscious of the weight she had gained in the past couple of years.

“Lo,” I said, reassuringly, “you are gorgeous.”

“But. . .”

“No but.  I mean, beautiful butt!  Beautiful big butt – I cannot lie.  Besides, beauty, sex-appeal, the feminine mystique, it’s all about the mind, attitude, confidence, and persona anyway.”

“Slut is a state of mind.”

“Exactly!  I mean, just look at our friend, what’s-her-name.”

“Oh, funloving BBW?”

Funloving BB@

“Yeah, her.  By conventional standards. . .”

“Conventional standards of beauty constructed by men,” Lo interrupted.

“That’s what I was about to say.  By conventional standards she would not be beautiful.”

“Beauty is such a malleable thing.  I mean she might be just what Rubens considered the ideal of femininity.”

“Of course, but I’m not talking about Rubens.  I’m talking about Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione, Larry Flynt.”

“They defined beauty for a few generations.”

“But look at what’s happening now,” I said, “with content creators like Faye Daniels, Dirty Little Diva Nicole, Chelle Silverstein, and even people like our friends, Samantha Massie, Sara Anne, Jennifer Kincade, and Karla Mott Nowak – they’re all so beautiful in their own ways and people appreciate that today.”

She gave me a sidelong look, revealing her jealousy.  She can sometimes behave just like Tinkerbell with that razor edge of possessiveness.  I knew I was in trouble.

“I mean, no one compares to you, of course.”

Funloving BBW

Believe

Funloving BBW

Moo

Funloving BBW bikini

Funloving BBW

Faye Daniels

Faye Daniels

Faye Daniles

Faye Daniels

Faye Daniels

The glamorous Faye Daniels in Rose Shaped Sunglasses

Faye Daniels and friend

Faye Daniels and friend

Dirty Little Diva Nicole and friends

Chelle Silverstein

Chelle Silverstein and husband Brenden Basil

Hotwife Sara Anne

Hotwife Sara Anne

Sara Anne

Samantha Massie

Samantha Massie

Jennifer Kincade

Jennifer Kincade

Jennifer Kincade

Karla Mott Nowak

Karla Mott Nowak

Karla Mott Nowak

Karla Mott Nowak

Butt if You Want To – Interview with Siswet

Siswet

 

I’m old.  We’ve established that.  Back in my day I knew nothing of kink.  I knew almost nothing of sex.  My only exposure to the wonderful world of women was a few moldy Playboy and Penthouse magazines I managed to rummage out of my neighbor’s basement when he paid me to clean it out as he and his wife prepared to divorce and they were selling their house.  I was a horny thirteen-year-old and I had no idea the fringe benefits I would reap from earning some extra cash.  Back then those magazines didn’t show intercourse, penetration, or even a minor blemish.  They were basically slightly more revealing than a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.  Every woman was a model, but back then they sported a full bush.

Cheryl Bachman in Playboy

 

Cheryl Bachman bush from behind

It wasn’t until much later in my life that I learned that women are turned on by more than posing on a tennis court in white miniskirts, showing their round rumps.  I still vividly remember watching a VCR porno in which the star took a cock anally.  It wasn’t one of the high-production pornos.  Those are like fine wines with lots of overtones and colors.  This video was like a well liquor intended to be banged out quick and pack a wallop.  It starred, ironically enough, Lola, as in Lola Vargas, a.k.a. Lola Martin.  As I recall, this sexy brunette was with two guys, one of whom entered her anally.  When I saw that, if there was any doubt that this was a low-budget, far from mainstream film, then it was confirmed because, you see, back then anal wasn’t a thing.  Or at least it wasn’t a thing in any self-respecting, easily accessible porn.  It was only something you could find on the fringe, in the cheap discount VHS bin, which was where I shopped in the seedy XXX stores.

Cheryl Bachman front view

 

Lola before Lola
Lola Vargas/Martin

Cheryl Bachman showing her bush

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today there is an abundance of such sort of porn.  Joanna Tulsa in her MidwestFreaks film only added a bit of golden shower to the mix, but other than that, she reminds me a lot of dear Lola, Lola Vargas/Marin that is.  Apparently I really do have a type.

Joanna Tulsa True Freak takes a golden shower

Lola Vargas/Martin

Back then, long before I met my Lola, my eyes nearly popped out of my skull when I saw a man penetrate a woman’s asshole.  I was like, “Women can do that?!”

So, dear reader, you can imagine my complete shock and awe when I saw my Lola, Lola Down, sneak into the communal men’s showers at the Buddhist monastery in Japan and saw her as she leaned up against the white tiled wall, on tiptoes, her ass up and out, protruding toward the group of us horny, naked guys, and reach around, lathering up her bare butt-cheeks, squeezing her fingers between her buns, and then as she spread her ass wide for us all to see clearly, she circled her special spot in clockwise motions with two fingers before inserting a single finger up her ass to our stunned amazement.  She fingered herself seductively as the steamy shower ran down her back, her thighs, her calves, her feet.

My Lola, Lola Down, fingering down there

Dear reader, you can imagine my confusion when Lo first requested to be penetrated from behind by me and then demanded that I alternate from ass-to-puss and finally nearly leaped from my rigid rod in order to pirouette in the air and land on her knees so that she might take my cock in her mouth lest any of my precious seed spill on the floor.  A-to-V, A-to-M, A-to-V-to-A-to-M?  Really?  There are women who do that?  I had no idea.

“Did you like fucking my ass, Daddy?”

And finally, dear reader, you can imagine my jealous excitement as I saw Lo repeat this same exact sequence of orifice reception on other men.

But I digress yet again.

Like much else, the genre of anal porn has evolved (or devolved) a lot since the days of my youth.  Today you’re all spoiled.  (I sound like such a crank!)  As much as I was perplexed by this intriguing form of intercourse, today mere penetration of the ass has become passé.  No, today, there are: extreme anal insertions; anal fisting; anal gape; anal double and even triple penetration!

Arguably, the reigning queen of this genre of porn is Siswet.  Who else can walk into her apartment building nonchalantly with her arm up her own asshole all the way to her elbow?  This deceptively petite blonde with an even more deceptively petite rear star has mastered the art of all things ass.  And Lola was lucky enough to get an interview with her.  Stay tuned for her intimate conversation with the legendary Siswet!

Siswet opens up to Lola

Pictures of Lily

[Dear readers, here is the story that was just published in the July issue of Ethical Non-Monogamy Magazine (ENM, p. 38).  We hope you enjoy it!]

We finally returned home after months in exile paradise during COVID-19 lockdown.  We returned to a dusty house, cars covered in pollen as if after a light snow, and springtime blossoms.  With nowhere to go since work-from-home orders were still in place, we Lo set herself to doing the spring cleaning in between Zoom meetings.

I, being an entrepreneur, resumed going to my office, though it was empty of Ms. Gale and my other employees.

One day, not long after our homecoming, after work I was greeted by Lo at the door.  “What are you going to do with these?” Lo asked as I approached the threshold, holding four eight porno mags in her right hand.

My Sex Life Before Lola

“I was thinking about lining my coffin with them for the afterlife.”

“You can’t even get it up now – you think that you will be able to in death?”

“Haven’t you ever heard of rigor mortis?”

She let me inside to explain.  She placed the porno mags on the dining room table, displayed prominently as ‘Exhibit A’ in the case against H.H.

“Lola, where did you find those?”

Gili Sky in a very Lola pose

“The top shelf of our closet, buried under a pair of old shoes in an old, raggedy box.”

“That’s where you started your spring cleaning?”

“I’ll be asking the questions here.”

“I’m sorry Madam Prosecutor.  What was it you wanted to know?”

“Why did I find porno mags in our closet?”

“Because that’s where I put them?” I asked more than answered.

Gili Sky, precursor to Lo

“Begging the question!”

“OK, ok,” I said, raising my hands as if under arrest.  “Lola, look at the dates on those.”

“I don’t have to.”

“I know, because they’re so freakin’ old.  I’m sorry.   I guess I’m just sentimental.”

“Sentimental?!  What does that mean?  Are each of those porn stars an ex-girlfriend?”

“No no no.  I bought those when I was in my teens or twenties.  I haven’t let go of them.”

“Because you’re a hoarder.”

“I am not a hoarder!”

“You have alumni magazines from fifteen years ago, newspaper clippings from twenty years ago.  You even have a copy of the Sunday coupons from five years ago!”

“I’ve been meaning to redeem those.”

“Yeah, that’s my point!  They don’t even sell those products anymore.”

“Maybe I have a slight problem.  You’re right.  But, if you’re going to clean, start with the coupons, leave the porn.”

“Why?  You have all the porn you need right here,” she said, pushing her tits up, emphasizing her cleavage in the cutoff t-shirt she was wearing.

“Because?”

“Because why?”

“Just because.”

“When’s the last time you looked at those?”

“I don’t even know.  Let me see.  I need to refresh my memory here.”  I began to flip through some of the magazines.  “Oh yeah, Gili Sky.  Wanda Curtis, and Gina Wild!”

Gina Wild looking for her keys

She pulled the magazines out of my hands.  “That’s enough of that.  They’re going in the trash.”

“But Darling!”

“What?”

“Those aren’t just any porno mags.  They’re European.  I got them when I was in Germany for grad school.  They cost a fortune!”

“Trash!”

“They’re collectables.”

“You have to learn to let go.  What sort of Buddhist are you?”

“A bad Buddhist.  A very very bad Buddhist.”

“You got that right.”

“But, Buddhism is beyond duality.”

“So?”

“Good/bad, right/wrong.  All that is in the realm of Samsara.”

“Samsara eh?  Is she another porn star?”

“The best!”

“Good grief!”

“Those magazines are keepsakes.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well. . .” I didn’t know how to explain.  “You’re too young to understand.”

“Try me.”

“Back when I was growing up, we didn’t have the internet.  I wasn’t exposed to all the adult content you had at your fingertips.  In America we had Playboy and Hustler.  If you wanted some really raunchy stuff there were cheap, rather disgusting knock-off magazines.  But in Europe, well, this was great stuff and. . .”

“And what?”

“The first time I ever even heard of anal sex and so much more that really expanded my horizons.  They were truly beyond anything we had in America.”

“So, you can have all that now, in the flesh, with me!”

“Actually, it’s not the porn, so much as it is the medium.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I mean, in today’s world of internet porn, it’s all pixels and binary code.  There are no more material products that you can hold in your hand, touch, feel, see the glossy pages, and put on a shelf to age like a fine wine.  It’s all instant gratification and disposable consumption.”

“You can hold me in your hand, touch me, feel me, see me.  I’m a very material girl.”

“You’re like a mashup.”

“What?!”

“A mashup between The Who’s See Me, Feel Me and Madonna’s Material Girl.”

“Oh,” she said.

“And these, these are my ‘Pictures of Lily,’” I said, picking up one of the magazines.

“Lilly?”

“No, not our friend Lilly.  The Who’s Pictures of Lily.”

The “Pictures of Lily” drum set of Keith Moon

“What’s that?”

“A song about a boy who can’t sleep at night because he’s hard-up so his dad gives him some nudie photos to jack it to, but the boy falls in love with the woman.  Unfortunately, she’s been dead since 1929.  The boy is heartbroken.”

“So you jack it to these photos?”

“No no no!  I’m just saying, all these women, they’re twenty-five years older now.”

“So, when I grow old, you won’t love me anymore?  Is that what you’re saying?”

“No, Darling!  You’ll never grow old.  You’re forever young – er younger than I am, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, maybe you should plan on lining that coffin with these, since you’re practically one foot in the grave already.”

She hates it when I point out our age difference.

Just then there was a noise at the front door.

Lo checked it out and then walked back to the scene of our skirmish.  She held the mail in her hand.

“Look what just arrived,” she said, holding a package.  She opened it.  It was the June issue of Ethical Non-Monogamy Magazine.  She gave it to me to peruse.

“I like it.  Glossy.  Centerfold.  Lola.”

“I sometimes get the feeling you like me better in print than in real life,” she said as I read over our column.

“That’s not it at all, Darling.  I like that I get to share you with so many people all at once.”

“It’s the most ‘non-monogamous’ I’ve been since this pandemic began!” she complained.

“Yes, the most ethical too.”

“Look, we’ll make a deal.  You get to keep the magazines that I’m in.  The others go in the trash.”

“At least put them in the recycling.  We don’t want to be irresponsible.”

Lo as Playboy Covergirl

Shag Story Interview with Gabi Levi

We’re very excited to bring you this Special Report!

Most of you surely already know the wonderful Kayla Lords of erotic blogging and podcast fame, a.k.a. The Smutlancer.  If you don’t, check her out. She has done amazing work and she continues to do something that all of us need to do more – build kink community!

She has teamed up with Gabi Levi – an artist and writer and, if you ask me, probably a great shag – to create a retro themed, art infused corner of the internet for erotic stories and images called Shag Story.

Gabi reached out to us to get our impression of the new site and we LOVED it! I (Lola) started chatting with her and soon enough, we just put together an interview.  So, without further introduction, my interview with Gabi Levi:

Gabi Levi, self portrait

What is your background in art? 

I went to the Gallatin School of Individualized Study at NYU and essentially developed my own major titled Art and Ethics. It was based on an amazing course I took that took a look at the ethical implications of art that maybe was a little bit risqué in a number of ways. It questions its value to society and I always took the stance that provocative art was incredibly valuable, so I started to make some of it.

Who has influenced you?

So many artists, but Magritte is a big one along with various pop artists, comic book creators, and pulp artists. I also love Playboy.

Rene Magritte – Nude Standing

 

 

 

Lola – Nude Standing

What attracts you about erotica or erotic art in particular?

I appreciate the beauty of sex, the human form, and pop culture. As someone who is both an artist and a writer, combining the art with erotica felt natural to me.

Tell us about this new venture, Shag Story (or shagstory.com), that you and Kayla Lords have started. How did you two come up with the idea? Who is your ideal audience?  What sorts of stories do you hope to publish and why?

I wanted to start an erotica site that felt fun and incorporated art. I loved the 70s Playboy aesthetic, so decided to call it Shag Story as a way to allow for some retro art. In terms of audience, it’s anyone who enjoys erotica. Shag Story is a fun place to hang out, embrace eroticism, and enjoy erotic art and writing. I wanted to create a feel-good space.

Why the 70’s theme?

The ’60s-’70s were a time of sexual liberation and revolution. It feels fun, exciting, and like a party.

Who is writing for Shag Story?

Various writers! We always have an open call for submissions that are published upon Kayla’s review.

What is your role at Shag Story?

Along with being one of the founders, I am in charge of the art direction.

What are some of your favorite books and why?

I love Lolita and anything by Elizabeth Wurtzel. Lolita is another great example of a piece of art that is ‘morally corrupt’ but so beautifully written and flawlessly executed. It stirs up mixed emotions, which I think makes something great.

Lola’s Playboy Cover

What are some of your favorite movies and why?

I love Natural Born Killers from an aesthetic and artistic perspective. It’s so jarring, interesting, and beautiful in a sense that isn’t traditional. The acting is also incredible. Watching it is a cathartic experience for me.

If you could meet one person, past or present, who would it be and why?

This answer might be silly, but I’ve always said Eminem. He’s such a genius, so uninhibited, and so talented.

Tell us your most recent or most frequent sexual fap fantasy.

It depends on the day, but most recently it was a fantasy/memory of a time with an ex in the back of his car during summer. Very hot and sticky ;).

I’m allowed one vanity question.  One thing that attracts you about mysexlifewithlola.com?

It’s smart, candid, and sexy!! Who wouldn’t love it?

Lola & Shag Story created by Gabi Levi

 

The Orgasm Gap


When Lola Goes on a Date and I’m Left Alone

            Recently, a new phrase has been popping up in various articles on sex, relationships, and women: The Orgasm Gap.  Sometimes it’s referred to as “The Gender Orgasm Gap.”  It is the result of various studies’ data showing that women in heterosexual relationships have far fewer orgasms than their male partners.  This gap disappears in gay relationships. 

            There’s plenty of literature out there for you to do your own reading into the matter, but what I would like to discuss here is the orgasm gap that exists between Lo and me.  In our relationship there is undoubtedly an orgasm gap, but it is the inverse of the one referred to above. 

I’ve conducted my own non-scientific study.  One October a few years back (I deemed it “O-month,” for “Orgasm Month”) I did my best to count the number of orgasms achieved by Lola (either during coitus or on her own) and the number achieved by me, your faithful author.  The results were 70+ for Lo (not exactly sure of the actual number because I was relying on her reportage of her solo sessions and often she lost count), to my 18.  That’s approximately a 4:1 orgasm gap in favor of the female

            Now, in our relationship there are many “understandings.”  I am not allowed to jack it unless specifically instructed by Lola.  That usually means in her presence, so she can enjoy it.  I am not allowed to have sex with anyone outside our relationship.  Lo, on the other hand (so to speak), has no strings attached.  Solo sex, sex with others, accidental orgasms – all are fair game for her. 

            But a while back, when Lo was cross with me about something and thus withholding her pleasures from me, I took matters into my own hands, literally.  I got myself a Stoya Destroya Fleshlight.  It served the purpose at the time.  It also came in handy (can’t seem to get around that double-entendre) one night when Lola was too inebriated to give consent. 

Lola Fingering Stoya

            Lo doesn’t like my using Stoya’s pussy.  Her jealousy reigns supreme.  It matters not that it is literally just a pussy and not a person.  But the other night. . . .

            I had to work late.  I was at the office around 7 pm and I got a text from Lo saying that she was going out to dinner with her friend Candice.  Lo and Candice had become close friends over the past few months.  Candice is a self-described “thick” woman.  I would describe her as lusciously zaftig.  She is heavier than Lo by at least fifty pounds.  When they met, she was in a committed relationship, but that fell apart very suddenly.  Lo became her go-to confidante and wing-woman.  They went to clubs, bars, restaurants together about three or four times a week.  I think Lo enjoyed the singles scene and having someone to share it with.  Candice frequently found fuck-buddies, but was longing for a man who would be a dedicated daddy.  She admired Lo and was particularly envious of our special relationship. 

            Candice would often come over for brunch after her one-night-stands and dish the details about it to both of us over mimosas. 

            And then the other night. . . .

            As I was saying, Lo went out to dinner with Candice.  I thought nothing of it since it had become part of their repertoire.  I figured that Candice was horny and looking to find a cock to bring home for the night and Lo was going to help her, as usual.

            (A little aside here: If I were granted permission to have sex with just one of Lo’s friends, it would be Candice.  I find her voluptuousness very attractive.  But, either out of respect for Lo or lack of interest, Candice has never reciprocated my flirtatious banter with her.  Unless, of course, the juicy stories she tells us about her sexcapades are intended to rouse me, which they do.)

            But when I got home, I found Lo in bed, jillin’ herself silly.  She had all her toys on the bed and it looked like she had used each and every one.  Currently she was banging with the largest of the bunch.  It was stuck to the headboard and she was sliding her ass back, taking it all in, and then sliding forward.  Back-and-forth, slapping her cheeks up against the wood and then easing off.  She didn’t stop when she saw me enter the room.  I sat and waited, patiently by the foot of the bed.  She looked at me as she fucked her dildo.  Our eyes were locked as I saw her desperately trying to get off.  When she finally climaxed, slid off the dildo, and sprawled out in the sheets, legs spread and sloppy, I kissed her hello. 

            “Are you mad, Daddy?” she asked.

            “Why should I be mad?” I responded.

            “Get naked and I’ll tell you.”

            I did as she requested, got in bed next to her, and listened as she told me the following story:

            I went to the restaurant to meet Candice for dinner, but I was early and she was late.  I sat at the bar and ordered a drink while I waited for her.  As I waited, a handsome, young, black man came in and sat next to me.  He was very good looking, very fit, and I suddenly found myself getting very wet. 

            Candice finally arrived and as I was finishing my drink, the young guy got up and went to the bathroom.  I turned to Candice and told her how hot I thought he was.  She admitted to me that she thought so too. 

            When he came back, he paid his tab and got up to go.  But Candice immediately went after him.  She told him what I had told her in confidence, and he returned to the bar and sat between us.  He started up a conversation with me and I found out that he’s a football player for the college. 

            As we talked, he began rubbing my thigh and moving slowly further and further toward my crotch.  I didn’t protest. 

            Eventually he came very close to me and kissed me.  I reciprocated.  But then I pulled away and told him that I was there for Candice – her wing-woman.  She wasn’t supposed to be mine. 

            I think he liked that.  He showed an interest in both of us and the thoughts that went through my mind. . . .

            She didn’t elaborate, so I asked her, “What thoughts would those be?”

            I was fully expecting her to say, “Get in me and I’ll tell you,” but she didn’t.  After a pregnant pause, awaiting her command, I finally got between her legs, poised to strike, but she covered up her crotch with both hands and protested, “No, Daddy!  I can’t.  I’m sorry.”

            “Why not?” I asked, frustrated and eager.

            “I did myself a little too much.  I’m swollen and sore.”   

            Not only did I want her, badly, but I also wanted to hear the conclusion of her story just as badly.  I asked her politely if I could use the Stoya Fleshlight. 

She said, “Why don’t you just use your fist like a real man?”

            “I could ask you the same thing.  Instead of using your Hitachi, your 18” dildo, or your Remus, why don’t you just use your fist like a real slut?”

            She laughed despite her anger as she threw a pillow at me. 

            “Fine, get her out,” she said.

            “You’ll hold it for me?”

            She didn’t answer.  I rummaged through the back of the closet and pulled out Stoya.  I grabbed the bottle of lube from the nightstand drawer and I got both Stoya and me nice and slick.  Lo took the hefty contraption in two hands and I slid right in. 

            “Comfortable?” she asked.

            “Yes, very,” I said, making her more jealous.  “Go on with your story.”

            “You like fucking her, don’t you?” she asked.

            “Not as much as fucking you.”

            “You like fucking Stoya.  You like that she’s a porn star.  You like thinking about how many men have fucked that pussy already, how many men have cum in it.”

Stoya’s Lovely Lady Parts

            I was getting very turned on by her dirty words.

            “Nothing would be hotter than seeing you make a porno,” I replied.  “I would stand in the wings while the director, the lighting crew, the sound engineers, and of course, the four or five male porn stars stood around your naked body as two or three of them fucked you on camera.”

            “Do you want me or do you want Stoya?”

            At this point, I admit, in my mind, Lola and Stoya were fused into one person as I imagined the set of the film.

            “Fuck her!  Fuck her good and hard!  Come on,” she demanded.  “Fuck that used, slutty pussy.  Cum in her.  Cum deep in her,” she commanded.  I can never resist her commands.  I came and I came hard as Lo pressed the Fleshlight down on my shaft, licking her lips as she watched me crumble as if struck by an arrow of pure pleasure. 

            I never did get to the end of her story that night. 

Lola’s Lolvely Lady Parts

            I have no idea how many times Lo came before I got home, but this is just one example of the so-called “Orgasm Gap” in our relationship. 

Sea of Porn

Sea of Porn

It’s hot.  It’s humid.  It’s February and we’re on vacation – an escape from the winter wonderland of our northern home.  Lying out by the pool, I admire the scenery, much to Lo’s consternation.

There’s a DJ who’s also doubling as the MC for the spring-break crowd.  He has the limbo bar set up and is spinning “Limbo Rock” as the scantily-clad bikini babes and the sculpted bros do their annual mating dance under it.

Every limbo boy and girl
All around the limbo world
Gonna do the limbo rock
All around the limbo clock

“Enjoying the Bimbo Rock?” Lo asks me, her voice dripping with derision.  She glances at me as she asks, but I see her taking in the eye-candy as well.

Jack be limbo, Jack be quick
Jack go unda limbo stick
All around the limbo clock
Hey, let’s do the limbo rock

Limbo lower now
Limbo lower now
How low can you go?

“They’re playing your song,” I say to her.  “They’re calling your name, ‘Hey Lo – how low can you go?”

First you spread your limbo feet
Then you move to limbo beat
Limbo ankolimboneee
Bend back like a limbo tree

Jack be limbo, Jack be quick
Jack go unda limbo stick

“I’ll tell you what,” she says to me, looking over the rim of her dark sunglasses, “I’ll spread my limbo legs and you give me your limbo stick, and I’ll show you just how low Lo can go.”  As she says it, she spreads her legs wide on the reclining chair.

“That’s sounds great,” I reply, “but first, let’s just see who wins, ok?”

“Grrrrrrr,” she says in frustration at my intentional taunt.  “Get me a beer, Daddio,” she commands.

“Sure, do you want it in a glass?”

“Yes, please.  But pour it right!  I don’t want any head.”  She paused.  “I’ll be giving head later. . . in bed.  That’s the only head I want.”

“I can’t wait,” I reply.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she barbs back, “I’ve got my eye on a few likely candidates.”

Later, up in the hotel room, she asks me, “Did you have fun at the pool, dear?”

“Yes – I particularly enjoyed making you jealous.”

“Well, you do a good job of it.”

“It’s not hard at all.”

“It looked pretty hard to me.”

“I’m going to take a shower,” I say.

“Fine,” she says, turning up her nose at me since she apparently took my choice of shower as a snub of her.  But there she’s wrong.  I just like to be clean and fresh for her.

“You know Lo,” I say before going into the bathroom, “I only have eyes for you.”

Lo ignores this and simply looks at her phone.  “Oh, look at that,” she says to me, “A friend of mine just posted that he thinks that his girlfriend looks like Beyoncé.”

“So what?  He’s in love?”

“Aren’t you in love?  You say I remind you of Lucille Ball!”

“Don’t forget Bugs Bunny!”

“Bugs Bunny?!  Really?!  Why not at least Jessica Rabbit?”

“You talk like Jessica Rabbit, but you act like Bugs Bunny.”

“Great.  That’s love.”

I hop in the shower.  When I come out, I find Lo on the bed, naked, her legs spread, one hand holding her phone and one stroking her puss.

“Tell me what you want,” she says to me without even looking at me.

“No, you tell me what you want,” I respond.

This is a familiar game of ours, especially when she’s both mad at me and horny.

“Do you want me?” she asks, seductively.

“Do you want me?” I echo.

“Say it,” she demands.

“No, you,” I say, not willing to give in first.

“Tell me what you want,” she pleads, still stroking herself and pulling at her pussy lips.

“Not till you do first,” I protest.

“I want you to tell me you want me,” she says.

“There you go!  You said it!” I declare, victorious.

“Said what?”

“You said, ‘I want you.’”

“Shut up and fuck me.”

“You know, Lo, I love you too much.”

“Why do you say you love me too much?”

“Because I let you off too easily and you get off too easily,” I say as I slowly slide inside her.  She’s dripping wet and very loose.  She moans as I slip in.  Her phone is still in her left hand and she looks at it as I hold her naked body tightly.  Her right hand is still over her clit and she rubs it as I thrust.

“Stay deep.  Just stay deep,” she orders.

I obey.  Her hips slightly gyrate up and down as her fingers quickly pulse on her clit.  She cums within seconds.  Her thighs clench so tightly she squeezes me out unintentionally.

“Sorry,” she manages to whisper as she climaxes.

“You just used me to get off.” I protest.  “You just masturbated with me inside you.  I was completely incidental to your orgasm.”

“No, Daddio, you were instrumental to it.  Now flip me over and do me from behind.”

I obey.  Her phone is still in her hand in front of her now so that I can see what she’s looking at.  It’s a lesbian Tumblr page.

“Do you like them?” she asks me about the women I see on her phone over her shoulder.

“It’s like a sea of porn,” I say.

She immediately shuts off her phone.  “Not for you!” she says.

“Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink,” I say.

“You can have your fill of this all you want.  It’s plenty wet,” she says as her free hand now slaps her ass and then fingers her puss from behind.  Her other hand is still busy between her legs from the front.

Without warning, I cum and cum a lot, deep inside her.  Her pussy clenches on me, hungrily.  But when I’m done, she flips over and complains, “You didn’t wait for me!”

“What?” I ask, perplexed.

“Ladies first,” she reminds me.

“You did cum first.”

“Ladies first and second!”

I go to the bathroom to clean up.  When I return, I find Lo looking at the porn on her phone again, jilling to it.  I begin to object to this, but she holds up a finger to indicate that I should wait till she finishes.  I am polite and wait.  She looks up at me with a smile.  “Cum often, cum a lot.”

“The Lola Down motto.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” she says.

“I thought the saying was ‘Cum early, cum often.’”

“That too.  As well as, ‘Cum one, cum all.’”

“I thought that was the motto of all your blog fans.”

“That’s not their motto, that’s their modus operandi.  I cum and then they all cum.”

“You know, Lo, sometimes our relationship really surprises me.”

“How’s that, Daddio?”

“Sometimes I feel like you’re the guy and I’m the gal.”

“Sounds like fun.  Tell me more.”

“I mean, you get off on those prurient pics, but I. . .”

“Oh no, here it comes!  Spare me your highbrow criticism.”

“I was just going to say, I like a good story, not just T-and-A.”

“Porn stars and women are human too, you know.”

“Really, women are people?  Is that so?”  I asked, facetiously.  “Even you?  I thought you were a goddess.”

“You sound like you’re making an object out of me.”

“Darling, you are first and foremost, a subject – the subject, in fact, of reams and reams of pages I’ve written about you.

“Now you sound as though you’re fetishizing me.”

“Really?  You think so?” I ask, even more facetiously.  “If you haven’t noticed by now – NEWSFLASH! – you are my fetish.”

“Good grief!  Freud would have a field day with you.”

“Lo, you’re all the porn I need.”

“All I’ve ever wanted to be was a good amateur.”

I lie down next to her.  “You’re the best,” I say as I immediately begin to fall asleep.  She complains that I’m uncomfortable to sleep on.  “Your big barrel-chested torso is impossible to lie on.”

“It’s a big bed in a big room in a big hotel in a big city. . .”

“With a big jerk right in the middle of it!”

As I fall asleep, I can hear and feel her going at it again for that magic number three.

NOW FOR A LIMITED TIME – LOLA’s 2016 CALENDAR

Get Lola’s 2016 Calendar before the holidays!!!  Perfect for the bedroom, office (if you work at Playboy), or sock drawer for special occasions.  Twelve months of Lola with stunning full-color photos.

Find it here:

(Click on photo of Lola looking for her gift under the tree to find your copy!)

christmas2